Tag: Family

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Lately reading or watching the news feels like doom scrolling.

Doomscrolling or doomsurfing is the act of spending an excessive amount of screen time devoted to the absorption of negative news. – From Wikipedia

My Apple News application is configured to show me Science, Technology, and items related to mens health. I’ve blocked CNN, Breitbart, Mother Jones, MSNBC, Vanity Fair, The Rolling Stone, and a plethora of others.

Unfortunately, blocking these publications leaves a white square in my News feed telling me that I’ve blocked the publication and asking me if I’d like to read the article anyway.

Uh… Nope!

What I’d really like, is for the little white boxes to disappear too!

The actual publications that I read for news are more local publications from places that I’m interested in.

Think of it like reading the local news papers from various cities around the nation. The Idaho Statesman, The San Diego Times, The Lexington Herald, there are some Texas papers I’ll skim as well. (Before you ask, I can’t stomach the Los Angeles Times!)

I find that these publication are often a bit more hometown and they’re balanced between human interest stories, local events, and national news.

It’s nice to read about a community rallying behind their high school football team. Or that the local school baseball teams are having a car wash to raise money for a local charity.

I read one article about car washes, being coordinated so that for a period of six weekends, a patron could have their car washed by one of six local school teams and the proceeds would help a community center that had a fire.

It’s that kind of thing that makes the “Bad” news palatable.

It used to be that, only the most egregious faux pas of the D.C. elites would make it to these local papers.

The papers being local meant that the journalists writing for them, were interested in presenting the hard facts and then after the meat of the story perhaps they’d opine about how this, or that, might affect the local community.

I like that kind of reporting. The journalists know which side of their toast is buttered and aren’t necessarily attempting to grandstand to “Hit the big time”.

They’re locals, they’re interested in their town or state and their reporting reflects that.

The papers I mentioned weren’t generally bashing or praising former President Trump, nor have they been bashing or praising current President Biden. They are just reporting the facts. What did the President say, how might the policy affect their particular community.

I guess you’d call it “old school” journalism. Report the story, keep your bias to yourself, if you feel the need to express your opinion then do it on the Op Ed pages.

Lately though, it’s like all the news is just plain bad. Everywhere, (at least in all the papers I read or scan,) there’s almost nothing but bad news. Be it national events like Ukraine, gas prices, or baby formula. Or local reporting of shutdowns of businesses, construction sites, or oil drilling operations, the news is bad.

These local entities are still reporting how the various events are affecting the local community and they’re doing it in personal, first person interviews. Then they move on to the next story.

Stock Photo

The Father of 4 who lost his job because the business he worked at closed, and who said it didn’t really matter because he couldn’t afford the gas to get there anyway. There was a ray of light. He was interviewed in the process of roto-tilling what used to be his backyard and teaching his children to plant vegetables. His wife still had her job, he was staying home watching the kids, instead of paying for daycare. He’d decided that a productive family activity was to plant a vegetable garden. He was going to learn the art of canning later in the summer and fall.

The mother who drove 100 miles one way to stock up on baby formula. She brought light into the story because she shared what she had gotten with other mothers in town who were unable to find formula. She’d then started a formula bank at her church where she and other moms pooled their resources. She thanked the men in the community who were helping by buying a can of formula if they saw one during their daily commutes and dropping it by the church. She commented that many of the men helping out didn’t have children themselves.

The causes were the bad news, the balance was the journalist speaking with people in the community asking how they were adapting, then reporting that, as part of the human interest.

Yet even with the rays of light, the overall news is just bad.

On the one hand, I’d like to look away and just ignore it all. On the other hand I get curious about what’s happening outside my little mountain town.

So I open the News app, and alternately have my heart broken, or become enraged. Sometimes both at the same time.

I simply can’t reconcile that our leaders seem so out of touch, even when they must have the best information flooding into their ivory towers.

How can they apparently ignore the plight of so many who are struggling?

Why are the elites talking about “Taking Action” on issues that don’t directly address the issues that are first and foremost in people’s minds?

You know, minor things like;

Putting food on the table
Getting to and from work
Feeding the children and babies
Paying the mortgage

Right now, the vast majority of average folks don’t give a rats ass about trans-rights, gun control, racism, green energy, CRT, the latest Tic-Tok trend, Hollywood, or even COVID.

Notice, I said the majority… There will always be the few that are so narrowly focused on their cause, that they’ll refuse to see the bigger picture.

Average folks are focused on basic needs. Broadly speaking… A functioning economy.

That requires jobs, the ability to get to aforementioned job, and affordable basic staples in the store. Anything beyond that is un-necessary and complete bullshit.

The elites will no doubt be appalled to discover that all their grandiose “actions”, “plans”, or whatever don’t mean squat to folks just trying to get by.

I’ve got to stop looking at the news. It just makes me sad, and pisses me off!

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As I attempt to focus on the positive…

Joe Biden’s Presidency has a redeeming side.

I’m learning about dementia.

I have aging parents. They’re not showing dementia symptoms but to be honest, I really hadn’t considered it as a possibly.

Watching Biden, I’m getting to see first hand what this looks like and how debilitating it is.

I learned a new term today regarding dementia. “Sundowning.” Apparently it’s quite common. As someone with dementia progresses through the day, they experience cognitive decline.

I’d argue that we all experience some decline as the day wears on. I guess with dementia patients it’s much more pronounced.

So I’m thankful for Joe. I’ll perhaps be more understanding and patient when or if my parents develop this condition.

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Biden gets more recognition

#BareShelvesBiden is trending on Twitter.

I didn’t say the recognition was necessarily positive…

The fact that it’s not being censored by twitter is amazing in itself.

Give it time… The Twitter fact checkers will find some reason to shut down the hashtag as misinformation.

What’s happening is people all over the country are taking photos of empty shelves in grocery stores and posting them with #BareShelvesBiden. The fact that it’s trending on the Twitter platform is demonstrative of how wide spread shortages are becoming.

As I said I’m sure the Twitter fact checkers will find some reason to censor it. When they do, it’s possible that a large portions of people will have undeniable proof that Twitter is not the bastion of truth and honesty they believe it is. The real question will be; Are they going to believe their own eyes?

Biden is supposed to give a fiery speech about voter rights in GA today. He’s staunchly opposed to the new GA laws that are designed to prevent potential voter fraud.

He’s opposed to such heinous things as:

Not sending mail in ballots out automatically to all registered voters. A mail in ballot must be requested.
Absentee ballots have a narrower window to be requested, however for voters over 65 once an absentee ballot is requested additional absentee ballots will automatically be sent for the duration of the election cycle.
A voter will have to present ID to vote. If a voter doesn’t have a driver’s license, there are alternate methods of providing ID, A voter ID card, for example and other methods beyond that.
Limitations on the number of voter drop boxes.

Apparently this is all racist voter suppression. I’m still unclear how it’s racist or voter suppression because these seem like fairly benign rules. Then again I’m an uneducated hayseed with no concept of how the “real” world works.

Apparently Biden thinks that him giving a speech in GA is going to help congress push their voter protection act.

Biden and his handlers haven’t yet learned that his speeches usually have the opposite intended effect. There will always be people that hang on Biden’s every word. But I think the majority of folks that bother to tune into his speeches are more interested in the tragic comedy of his gaffes.

I don’t think the price we’ve paid as a nation to free ourselves from “Mean Tweets” was worth it. On the other hand I’m glad Biden is The President.

I can think of no one who better exemplifies the failure of both political parties. In the rarified atmosphere of Washington DC politics If Joe Biden was the best they could do, we have much larger problems.

Sure, the Democratic Party shoved this dementia riddled old fossil down our throats, but the Republican Party has sat idly by and taken no action to remove him for incompetence. Both parties are content to continue their masturbatory hearings while the country “burns” so to speak. Both parties are like greedy parasites hungrily gorging, oblivious to the fact that their host is dying.

It’s entirely likely that in the midterms we’re going to see a Democrat rout. Generally speaking, people are seriously upset with the way things are going. I suspect that the Republicans may also see an unexpected turnover in their congressional ranks as well. People are just as pissed off about their inaction.

I wonder if we’ll see wailing and gnashing of teeth and endless recount demands after the midterm election. It will be interesting if recount demands and accusations of fraud come from both sides.

One of my Grandfathers said, “I hate all politicians. They’re liars, thieves, and corrupt to their core. I think the way to keep them in check, because we unfortunately need them, is to find the most corrupt two or three every year and hang them on the steps of the capital building. That would maybe serve as a reminder to the rest of ’em. On the other hand, it could just make ’em a lot more clever in their thievery.”

Grandpa was born in 1902. He was a plain spoken man. He was polite, but didn’t suffer fools or criminals. He was a lifelong Democrat and union member. He’d give you the shirt off his back if you asked, and were in need, but he’d beat you to death if you just tried to take something without asking.

He was a finished carpenter, as he and his neighbors aged and retired you could always find Grandpa anywhere in the neighborhood by following the sound of hammering. For as long as he was able, he repaired steps, doors, and windows, built ramps to peoples homes if needed, mended fences, or whatever. He did this without charge and was quite content if someone made him dinner or a nice pie as compensation. Some of his neighbors would do the maintenance on Grandpa’s car in exchange for his carpentry skills. He loved building things.

He was also incredibly hard on squirrels when we were hunting.

That’s an inside family joke. Several of us were hunting deer with Grandpa. It had been a bad day, and we were heading back to camp empty handed and depressed. As we rounded a curve on the trail, there was a very large squirrel in a tree. Grandpa just couldn’t go back empty handed. So he raised he rifle and fired. Grandpa forgot that his gun was loaded for deer not squirrel.

The poor creature exploded. Grandpa stood there for a second then said, “Damn! The meat is spoiled,” he shouldered his rifle and continued walking back to camp. For several years after that he’d go to the hunting camp with us but he wouldn’t join us in the hunt. He’d stay at the camp keep the fire stoked and the coffee hot. He’d be prepared to help us dress the meat if our hunt was successful and offer solace if our hunt wasn’t.

It seems that Grandpa concluded he was dangerous, since he’d forgotten something basic like what ammo was in his gun. He’d go to shooting ranges with us, and enjoyed target shooting but obliterating that squirrel signaled to him that his hunting days were past.

Grandpa accepted the limitations of advancing years with grace and humility.

So in the family, references to being hard on squirrels has much deeper and loving meaning. All of us who were with Grandpa that day smile and remember Grandpa fondly. The story has been passed to the next generation. Those who didn’t know Grandpa remember him through the story. He’s forever woven into the beautiful colorful fabric of our little tribe.

Joe Biden, and a lot of the other fossils in Congress need someone to tell them, “You’re really hard on squirrels,” though I suspect that they’re far too arrogant to accept the lesson.

That’s really a pity.

In my family, being told that, means you’re loved. It’s someone telling you, “we’ve got your back, we’ll take care of you right to the end, because you’re valuable to us. So rest easy Elder, ask us for whatever you need you’ll not go wanting, hungry, or alone.”

Maybe if more families thought that way, things would be better all around.

There’s security in that. It’s a feeling that I’m fortunate to have.

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Christmas Letter from Hell!

Okay, not to bum anyone out.

I’m hoping that when you read about my year, you’ll feel immensely better about yours! If your year has been the same, or worse… At least you’ll know you’re not alone.

This has been an unbelievably bad year for me. (No, It’s not solely Biden’s Fault! To be honest though, he sure hasn’t done me any favors. Then again, when has the government done any of us any favors? Just Sayin!)

The year started okay. I was happy to finally have all the election bullshit behind us and was looking forward to actually finding a job.

I’ve found over time that the 6 months around Presidential election years suck for job searches. I’ve concluded that corporate America just holds its collective breath, (and the purse strings,) until they know which way the wind is going to blow for the next four years.

Late 2020 was no different. I’d assert that 2020 was more like a year where a two term president is being replaced after terming out. Since that usually results in a change of Presidential party, and corporate America is a lot slower to start hiring again afterward.

Just about the time corporate America was starting to settle down and ready to open their purse strings. Well then there was Delta. Ooopps! Yet another stutter.

At the end of March, one of my brothers took his own life.

Suddenly, the job search wasn’t all that important. I drove across country to attend the funeral, and spend time with the family. It was a difficult time, however, amidst the emotional trauma, there were good things. I got to spend time with my sister, and my other brothers. I spent time with my Mom, Stepdad and Aunt.

I was also able to confirm what I had suspected about my Mom. She’s fading. Her memory is developing faults. On her side of the family, I don’t know the processes leading to end of life.

On my Father’s side I know the process because there were many examples. Typically, Dads side it’s just someone doesn’t wake up. On my Mother’s side there are only two examples. One is my Grandmother who died quite young from a stroke, the other was my Grandfather. He died in his 80s one Sunday morning getting ready for church.

My Mother is in that later age range now. Since I was living across the country, I missed seeing the process with my Grandfather. Did he start slowing down? Did his mind start going? Was he napping more during the day?

My Mother and Aunt, have both beaten the 50% odds that they’d die young. There is some evidence that my Grandfather experienced the same kind of decline I’m observing in my Mother.

Thankfully, I’m not alone in my observations. My Sister detected some of the fade. My Aunt was more keenly aware but was keeping her own council, until I mentioned it.

Then once the subject was open, she and I synchronized our observations and found that each of us had noticed different things. Our sharing of information gave us both a more complete picture, and the beginnings of a plan to address the situation. Our hope is to make this time as easy as possible for my Mother.

Fortunately, my Aunt is as pragmatic as I am. We both know it will take all our strength and love to move through this with grace. We also know that we will have to share our combined strengths to carry each other through grief.

Our talking together, made what is to come less fearful. If for no other reason than we’re not alone.

I came home mid to late April without incident. I took a different route and saw some sights that I’d never seen. We live in a beautiful country. Seeing it slowly mile after mile is a lot of fun if you’ve got the time.

I’d been home about a month.

On a bright sunny day, while walking the dog, he took off after something in the bushes. That would have been fine except that I had my thumb hooked in the pocket of my jeans, and the four fingers of the same hand were holding the leash.

He is very strong and very fast. In this case he had enough leash to reach full speed before it locked. 60+ Pounds of dog moving at top speed then suddenly restrained by the leash. Physics tells us that approximately half that momentum will travel back along the leash to the point of restraint even as the heavy object at the end of the leash is yanked backward toward the point of restraint. With my thumb hooked in the pocket of my jeans all that force concentrated in the area of skin and tendons that attach the thumb to the palm of the hand.

There’s probably some elegant calculation that could determine the exact amount of force. Let’s just ditch the physics lesson and say it was a lot. The resulting gash where the skin tore was bloody all the way home, and painful for about 5 minutes.

I’m one of those people that feels the initial damage and then the damaged area goes numb. It’s still functional even though it’s a bloody mess. I’ve always attributed this peculiarity to my Nordic ancestry.

This is perhaps a specious attribution, but the logic behind it is that if you’re descended from a warrior people, swinging swords around and slashing at your enemies, you’d better be able to take some hits and keep on fighting.

So The dog and I walked back the 2 miles to the house. Along the way I decided that I needed to start carrying a first aid kit for each of us. I got home, cleaned and assessed the wound. Then I put the pieces of skin back into their rightful positions and bandaged it.

Later in the evening I re-cleaned and re-bandaged the wound with some better supplies. That was when the trouble started. In reworking the bandages and applying some antibiotic ointment a small bit of skin got turned under another piece of skin and began to really hurt in a strange way.

Off to the urgent care I go. I just wanted more skilled eyes looking at this mess. My concern was I didn’t want to lose functionality on the thumb joint when it healed.

Unfortunately, the urgent care was closed, but the emergency room (located in the same hospital) was open. 3 hours and $6000.00 later the Physician’s Assistant had corrected the problem and glued my hand back together. (At the time I didn’t know it was 6K.) Had I known, I would have said, “Thanks but no thanks!” Although I did get my tetanus booster so I guess that’s a plus.

Getting home at 3am didn’t help my disposition but at least now I could sleep.

The next day I slept off & on and the dog was very sweet keeping me company. He smelled and saw a lot of blood the day before and is smart enough to recognize one of the pack had been injured. He couldn’t lick the wound due to the bandages so he contented himself with licking the fingers of that hand.

Two days after the ripped hand. A very loud bang reverberated through the house. I was in the bedroom at the time and initially thought something had hit the house. Then I heard the unmistakable sound of water.

One of the pipes in the fire suppression system running through the ceiling had ruptured. There’s a lot of pressure behind these systems and in less than a minute the living room was flooded. Since it was obvious something broke, and there was no fire, I ran through the standing water to the basement so that I could shut the fire suppression system off.

In hindsight I should have let it run…

It was only after the valve was shut off and I was standing barefooted in the water that I remembered there were several power strips lying on the floor, now also in standing water.

When I’d purchased those power strips, I had planned well. I’d bought top of the line heavily shielded and sealed units. (there should be a saying like, “Buy the right thing the first time and you’ll never regret the purchase”) That is possibly why I didn’t have to make another trip to the emergency room.

This led to several months of living in 2/3 of the house. (Had I let the water keep running feigning ignorance of the operation of the valves, I could have spent those months in a nice hotel.)

Ahh Hindsight!

Instead, I did the right thing. There’s a lesson there. Nice guys and guys who do the right thing get screwed!

Anyhow the next few months were spent with strangers tromping in and out of the house. The remediation folks were a pain in the ass. The reconstruction folks were amazing! I’d already cleaned everything I could clean because I was worried about the dog licking up the antifreeze that had been in the pipes. I did this literally with one hand tied behind my back.

As it turned out, I heal faster than the house does. My hand was actually fully repaired about 6 weeks before the house was.

Due to the supply crunch we had to wait for materials. Some of the necessary materials were on ships and others were on trucks. Neither of which could navigate their way to distribution points. (Thanks Joe!)

During all the moving things around, walking the dog twice a day, and I think falling once on a hike I screwed up my knee.

This was near the end of the reconstruction and meant that I was laying on the bed with my knee on a pillow. There were days when I’d seriously choose to hold off going to the bathroom as long as possible simply because it hurt so bad to try to walk.

The other half took over the dog walking duties. Much to the disappointment of the dog since by that time he was used to walking 5 miles a day.

At one point, I couldn’t get my knee into my jeans because of the swelling. So I was in shorts and a knee brace for all of the summer and part of fall. Driving a clutch vehicle was iffy at best so I was also stuck here in the house.

I did get mad enough in September / October that I sanded and painted the trim of the house. That’s called boredom. Oh sure I paid for those days outside in the sun with my knee being pissed off, but being outside was so worth it. The house looks much better too.

Throughout all this time I was still sending out resumes and cover letters. I was applying to anything remotely in my field and getting no replies. Pretty much like I’d been getting no replies for the previous year of COVID.

Recently, I did a count of resumes / applications I’ve sent looking for a job. Over 2000 to date. Of that 2000+, about 10 companies were kind enough to reply, “Thanks but no thanks.”

The rest of them… Simply disappeared into the void.

November was quiet. Except for the endless bullshit in Washington DC. I was able to ignore some of it, but not all. We had a nice Thanksgiving. The dog really likes turkey!

Here we are in December, The insurance company and the remediation people are still having a tug of war with us in the middle. There are a couple of pieces of furniture that should be replaced but until they decide what, when, and how, I’m not going to take any action.

Winter arrived this week, snow and ice are on the ground and street. At this point I doubt any deliveries of new furniture pieces could be made. Ultimately it may work out for the best since it could mean less to move…

Due to this extended period of unemployment, my savings is dwindling to dangerously low levels.

I’m beyond ready to sell this house and move someplace warm.

So if I’ve seemed a bit edgier or distant than usual… Now, you know why.

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I’ve been putting off this little project…

Several months ago I got a nifty server. 5 drives, I configured it in a RAID array with two drive redundancy.

For those of you that think I just spoke Greek. I didn’t. Simply put, I have a server with 5 hard drives that work as a set. Any two of these drives can fail without me losing all the data stored on the server. I can pull the bad drive out, replace it and tell the server to fix the problem. A few hours later the server will be back up to full operating speed and while it’s fixing the problem, I still have access to the data.

Anyhoo, I’ve been meaning to put the thing on the shelf in my wiring closet. It will be protected and I won’t have to worry about the dog bumping into it when he comes in to the office to ask me to play. He doesn’t just ask, he’s a bit aggressive about it. He’s a dog… He doesn’t understand that some electronics are fragile and don’t like being bumped around while they’re running.

So I decided the other day, that the time had come. I’ve been putting it off because 1) nothing with computers is ever as easy as it seems. 2) I knew there was a rats nest of cables I’d have to sort through. 3) The other half had to get a new computer (The second hard drive in 6 months failed and I didn’t really want to mess with it.

I start shutting things down. Then I started pulling unused or un-necessary cables out of the wiring closet. I finally got to the point where I could route power and network cables and encountered a major problem.

The cables I wanted to run were too thick to run them the way I’d done in the past. I’m standing there holding a shelf in my hand thinking, “Well damn, this isn’t going to work.”

Then I remembered my nifty new RYOBI tools in the garage. I knew I had a 1″ hole bit in a bit set I’d recently purchased. I take the shelf downstairs and grab the new drill and the bit set. That’s when I noticed that I’d also gotten with the set, 4 different sized hole saws.

OH Goody! I’d wondered what I’d use those for and now I know and have a good excuse to boot.

I set the 1.4″ hole saw on it’s bit, locked it down and fit the assembly in the chuck of the drill. 10 minutes later I’ve got two beautiful holes in the shelf right where I need them. The drill didn’t even breathe hard.

I was standing there looking at my work, for the briefest instance I considered where else I might need a convenient hole. Thankfully something in my brain hit the emergency stop on that thought process!

I put the tools away without drilling anymore holes. I patted the new drill appreciatively and put it back in it’s case.

I suspect that I’ll be drilling and cutting some things in the near future as I run antenna cables for the HAM rig. (Yeah, that’s another project on the list. I need to get some better antennas and get them installed so I can get out a bit better. HAM is another of those hobbies where getting a new radio just leads to a bunch of supplementary purchases.)

I head back up into the house, shelf in hand and put it back in place. The cables routed easily and I was able to put the power cabling through one hole while putting the data cables through the opposite end of the shelf. That keeps potential interference from power away from my data. As I’m standing there on the ladder I was thinking, “I’m a moron. I should have done this exact thing years ago! I’d have saved myself a lot of aggravation over the years.“

I put the server in place, and powered everything back up. Simple and it’s a nice looking installation.

Well, that chore done… I turned my attention to another round of data recovery. That was 48 hours of pure hell. Thankfully, my computer is fast, my network is fast, and I’m pretty good at this sort of thing. Corrupted backups and a person who has no concept of a data storage plan, not withstanding. Recovering data is just plain tedious in the first place. Not having specific documents stored in logical folders to assist in targeting the important stuff makes it very frustrating.

So to any of you out there who just spatter documents and files anywhere and everywhere on your computer. I’ll give you this advice. If you value your relationship, tell your techie other half what is most important, and keep the booze coming. One other thing, move your files into some kind of logical order to start with!

As it turns out, the backups were corrupted from the previous three hard drive crashes. The other half hadn’t done any organization after any of those crashes. In fact, after me telling them that the backups were corrupted, they kept using them anyway, compounding the problem.

With 10 Terabytes of storage available, the other half had also not copied the important files out to the server for redundancy. Sigh… and I’m the bad guy for being pissed off about it.

Mischief managed. The other half is running on the new computer. The server now has copies of all the files I recovered in a non-backup related directory and there’s a duplicate scanner running on my computer looking at that directory eliminating duplications and preserving edits in chronological order. When that’s done the files will be moved to a directory structure where Documents, Spreadsheets, Presentations, Photos, Music, Musical Scores, and other files will each have their own directory path.

Now to create a scheduled process that updates those directories once a week from the other half’s computer. As things stand right now, I burned 4 Terabytes on the server in recovery. I’ve got the other half sorting through tons of their own shit to figure out what is important and relevant to keep.

Just punishment, I think.

When they’re done with the space, I’ll be able to delete the corrupted backups (Hanging on to them for the moment in case I have to dive in to find some super important thing I missed. Then the recovered directories (except the one I’m processing) will be gone. I’m not going to be surprised to see about 2.5 – 3.5 Terabytes suddenly be available again on the server.

While I’m at it, I may go out and access one of my really old archival backups to consolidate more storage. I can move the files and documents to the main server in my home folder and then delete the old archive backup too. Then I’ll keep only the important stuff that provides history back to 2008 when everything was destroyed.

This has been my week, I hope your’s was better and in the midst of all of this I’ve managed to apply for jobs… Not that anyone is responding to my inquiries.

But I’ll keep at it.