Super NOT Funny!!!!

So today I did the famous snake dance! This dance is listed under Exotic Interpretive Modern Dance, and the soundtrack goes something like, SHIT! SHIT, SHIT, SHIT! OH SHIT!

Here’s the background. 

Jesse and I were walking in our usual area. There are a lot of critters out & about, mostly lizards and a few very brave or very foolish ground squirrels. I call the squirrels brave or foolish because they’ve taken to darting across Jesse’s path sometimes only inches from his face.

All of this is perfectly routine and normal. Jesse though doesn’t hunt or try to hunt these critters like any dog I’ve ever had.

After all, why would he do anything “normal”?

Instead of just running after a lizard or squirrel, he leaps. It’s more like the pouncing of a cat. It looks like he’s trying to anticipate where the critter will be then come down on top of the animal.

If he misses then he leaps up again, and perhaps does some running after the animal then leaps again. This goes on for a while until Jesse decides that the animal isn’t where he thought it was, or should be. Then he does this very graceful bounding move, easily clearing pretty high brush, to return to the trail. 

While all of this insanity is going on, he’s got this goofy laughing look on his face. It’s actually a look of pure joy. 

Given that he was a street dog there are a couple of things I can’t break him of. One is anything edible along the trail is his. He will not give it up for love, money, or even another favorite treat. He will literally eat whatever he’s found, then look at me like, “I saw that other treat, now give it to me.”

The second thing is that he can hunt for himself. He’s killed lizards but apparently they’re not to his taste. Last week he terrified a bird and chased it into the house.

I was alerted to the situation because I heard Jesse slipping and sliding all over the floor. He fell a couple of times on the slick surface. 

The poor bird in its panic to escape, had slammed into the front window and stunned itself.  So now I’ve got Jesse trying to lay claim to his “not quite dead kill.” I’m having to defend this poor bird from Jesse and he’s very confused as to why I’m messing with his prey.

I really thought the bird was going to die from the stress. Its little heart was beating so fast it felt like a vibrator. The little thing’s breathing was very fast and labored.

I wrapped it in a towel and took it out front into some peace & quiet and warmish sunlight. I stood there holding the little thing wrapped loosely in the towel. I wasn’t sure if it was going to die or not, but I didn’t want it to die alone or become prey to something while it was trying to recover.

After a time, it seemed to get better and stronger, it didn’t fly away but did flutter to a convenient bush. Jesse was watching all of this from the rear deck and was not in the least amused.

I relate this to illustrate that Jesse is very fast, and agile, in addition to his strength.

Normally on our walks we’re making enough noise that critters get out of the way. Even deer will usually bolt before we’re close enough for Jesse to think he could catch them. 

Were it not for the highway being so close to the northern edge of where we walk I’d let Jesse run free after a deer sometime. My concern would be that he’d chase a deer out onto the road and while the deer could probably clear a car, Jesse can’t. 

Once he fixates on something, he becomes very single minded about it and there have been times when I’ve literally tied the leash to a tree. The leash is a 25ft long retractable. It’s very strong but if he’s pulling at its extreme length or worse leaping and running randomly trying to chase a deer it’s very hard to control him. 

Fortunately there are a lot of trees around. I’ve tied my end of the leash around a tree more than once and simply waited until Jesse gave up. Sometimes that can take as long as 10 minutes and I’d much rather the tree take the stress & strain than my knees, arms, & back. (Although it’s a really dynamic workout.)

Now that you’ve got all the background… Back to the snake dance!

Jesse saw a fairly large lizard run into a clump of bushes. He leapt, landed on the bush and started looking for the lizard. I’d seen the lizard escape and was in the process of swatting a hoard of small flying insects away from my eyes, nose, ears, & mouth. Yes, I was being swarmed, the annoying pests were flying under my sunglasses and into every orifice.

At this point I saw Jesse running directly toward me. He was in pursuit of something which as my eye focused, turned out to be a long slithering creature. I only had one eye working at the time because a helpful bug had flown into the other one. 

I began doing the snake dance thinking if this was a baby rattlesnake they’d find my bleached bones out on the trail and Jesse would probably get distracted on the way back to the house, get lost, and we’d both end up “Vanished”…

Then I pictured what the row of houses up on the ridge could see but not hear. “Hey Mabel you should see what that guy with the dog is doing today…

At this point the litany of “SHIT” gave way to laughter. I was laughing in part because of the insanity of the situation and in part because I’d seen one of a pair of dull yellow stripes running the length of the snake. The snake went right between my legs, then disappeared.

Jesse stopped chasing it and instead was looking at me like I’d lost my mind. I don’t think he could figure out if I was mad at him, and if I was mad why I was mad. In his confusion he stopped with his head cocked with an expression of, “What’s your problem?”

Jesse had scared up a Striped Racer (Whipsnake), that was probably looking for a quiet place to shed its skin.

The dull yellow stripe(s) I’d seen identified the snake species, It’s characteristic for a snakes coloration to get dull & sometimes they’ll take on a dusty appearance just prior to shedding. It’s also near mating season for this species so Jesse might have interrupted someone’s good time.

I’ve got a Striped Racer that lives somewhere near the house. This particular Racer & I cross paths several times during the summer months. I watch out for it so that I don’t injure it with yard tools. I’d prefer to have it living in the yard because it keeps insects and rodents under control.

The first snake picture above, is of the snake that lives near my place. If you look closely you can see a bright yellow stripe. This snake had just finished shedding its skin in my rosemary bush. We startled each other one morning a couple of years ago.

I’ve included a better picture of the species. Thanks to www.californiaherps.com

Yes, I know this snake looks nothing like a rattlesnake. However, being partially blind due to one eye fighting to drown a bug, and the other eye tearing in sympathy, trust me, the brain interprets any long slithering creature as a poisonous critter worthy of summoning Saint Patrick.

As we completed our loop and were once again on the trail where we’d seen the snake, Jesse put himself crosswise on the trail so that I had to stop. He was looking around very carefully to see if the snake was still around. I was patient with him and found it interesting that he wasn’t going to let me pass until he was sure the snake was gone. 

Oh before you think, “What a good dog…”

Don’t delude yourself. Jesse couldn’t give a rip about me… He just didn’t want to get bitten. He’s self-serving like that.

That’s not entirely true there have been a few situations where he’s pointedly put himself between me and a threat. He earns his kibble, most of the time.

Enjoy the mental image of my modern dance routine. Laugh all you want, I’m still chuckling about it.

Maybe I should get a GoPro and wear it anytime we’re walking. That could produce some funny video.

Woe is the puppy!

It’s rained most of the day.

The pup hates being rained on.

About every hour or so, he’ll go to the door, I’ll let him out. He will wander from one end of the deck to the other verifying that the rain is really coming from the sky and not some other source, then he’ll come back in with this pitiful look on his face.

I’d put on appropriate clothing and walk him in the rain if he wanted to go.

On the other hand, I’m just as happy to not go out in the rain. It’s nice that accidentally the dog has some common sense.

I think I needed the day off. We walk at least a mile, usually more every day seven days a week. That distance isn’t much, but it is downhill and then uphill, usually I’m being dragged a bit by the dog with 4 paw drive on. It puts a bit of stress on my knees both directions.

I’ve noticed that when I have a rare day off from the “exercise” that I feel better and stronger the next time we’re walking.

The down side is that tomorrow he’s going to have a lot of energy. So I’m likely to be really dragged all over hell’s half acre.

Eh, it’s worth it.

For some reason I only got about 3 hours of sleep last night so I’ve been a lazy slug all day. Neither the dog or I have gotten anything done.

On the plus side, at least he’s not using my pillow!

There are times…

IMG 2882When I’m very thankful for the Dog.

Sometimes, he’s an absolute pain in my ass!  Other times, I catch a glimpse of the world through his eyes and see beauty.

This morning was one of those mornings.

I did laundry yesterday. As part of that process I changed the bedsheets from the summer lightweight cotton to the winter flannel. 

It’s been cold enough here at night that I have run the heater a few times. I hate getting up to a house that’s 55°F. 

I was even able to pack the last summer sheet set, into its original package. That was cool.

There’s another chore that I need to do. I’ve got to match up the sheet sets. I think I lost one if not two top sheets back in January. That wouldn’t be bad except that they were from the king size sets, not the queen size sets that I thought they were. It doesn’t matter a lot because when the time comes and I move, I’m getting rid of the king sized bed and going to a queen. At that time I’ll buy new sets for a new life. Hey, I’m trying to put a positive spin on it. But in the mean time… I’ve got mismatched sets of sheets that I need to sort out and dispose of, to minimize confusion and frustration.

Anyhow, flannel sheets in place, I went on with the day doing just usual puttering around. I haven’t been sleeping well and my head has not been “in the game” for much of anything lately. 

Bedtime rolled around and I crawled into a nice warm bed. I’ve recently instituted a moratorium on bedside alarms on Sunday. Meaning, I’ll sleep if possible until something wakes me up or until I wake up naturally. This morning, I woke up completely naturally. The dog was curled up on the foot of the bed and there was silence. I sat up, looked at the phone next to the bed and it was after 8am. Sweet! I slept straight through the night. 

I got up, peed, and by the time I was done the dog was ready to do his morning rounds. I let him out, poured myself a cup of coffee, and pulled on some sweats. After a few minutes enjoying my coffee the dog is at the door. I let him in, he heads for his equivalent of morning coffee.

He’s asking for his morning Greenie. 

I give it to him, he starts to trot toward the back door again. “Fine,” I say, opening the door. He heads out trotting to his usual spot (The spot where Greenies are consumed,)  Then he turns back and sits at the door looking at me. He’s still got the Greenie in his mouth.

Because the behavior is “odd” for him I open the door and step out onto the deck to see if something is wrong. 

The dog starts tossing the Greenie at me then playing keep away. I set my coffee on a nearby outdoor table and engage in the game. He’s wagging his tail and challenging me, we’re having fun.

Then he’s a little too rough picking up the Greenie to toss it at me and bites it in half. Game over! Now it’s time to eat it.

I’m standing out on the deck, the morning chill is being displaced by the sun and I’m struck by how pretty the day is.

In fact it’s a spectacular day. Not too cold, it’s clear and crisp and quiet. That’s one of the things that really strikes me… The silence. 

We’ve been living in a construction zone for most of the Summer. There’s been heavy equipment running from 7am to 4 pm every week day and some weekends. It’s annoying because of the dust.

I haven’t been able to paint the trim or the stairs of the house, and now it’s getting too cold at night to do the painting especially the back stairs and deck because they’re in shadow much of the day.

But the noise is also a factor even when the equipment is at the far end of the wash, the sound reverberates right back up the canyon, and it’s constant. Dumptrucks driving 25 or 30 feet from your front door all day long create a wall of noise that you can’t escape. The dust blowing off their loads, and being kicked up by their passing is quite possibly bad for us.

In the height of Summer we tend to have our windows open, most folks here don’t have air conditioning. So we’ve been living with never ending dust to the point that every morning stepping into the shower I can feel the grit under my feet. I vacuum every day and I simply gave up dusting. What’s the point? I have to rinse every dish or pot before using it, or leave everything in the dish washer. 

But breathing all this dust can’t be good for us. Not to mention the possibility of Valley Fever. The sides of the wash are populated by thousands, if not millions of rodents. Valley Fever comes from rodent poop, it’s usually something a person gets if they’ve been out clearing land and kick up a lot of dust. Folks weed whacking without a mask, or using leaf blowers commonly get it.

IMG 2886It’s not the county workers fault, they’re doing what they’ve been told to do. They get paid by the flood control district and even the supervisors think they’re doing the right thing. Although I contend that had they done what had been done in the 1920’s that lasted 70 to 80 years, everyone would have been better off and the county would have saved a shit ton of money.

Not that the county gives a damn about saving money or using it wisely. I have no reason to believe that the County of San Bernardino will take any more responsibility for health issues they’ve caused in this neighborhood than they will for the private roads they’ve damaged, the environment they’ve destroyed, or the degraded quality of life issues their poorly designed and executed “Flood Control Project” has caused.

As I think about it, enjoying my coffee and the beautiful morning on my back deck. I think that I should probably write a complaint letter to the County describing all of this, I suspect that OSHA would shut this down if the neighborhood was a worksite. But since we’re a neighborhood I doubt there are any regulations. Nonetheless I should get a letter on file so that if I develop some disease caused by breathing granite dust I can point to them as responsible.

In the mean time… I’m going to sit here enjoying my home for the first time in 4 months. I’m glad the dog dragged my ass outside this morning. He’s snoozing in the sun occasionally raising his head to survey the world.

Have a happy Sunday.