Happy, we don’t know what time it is Day

Ugh! Time Changes

I hate ‘em when I’m traveling! 

I especially hate ‘em when I haven’t had the fun of traveling. Who doesn’t enjoy the TSA manhandling your carry on, tits and / or balls? 

Honestly I don’t mind the time changes too much if I’m on a road trip. 

DST for some reason makes me really cranky. I’ve never figured out why. I suspect that it’s something to do with feeling late to everything, at least for the first week or so after setting the clocks forward in spring.

The feeling that I’m being rushed tends to make me growly. There is always one clock in the house that I forget to change and inevitably, that clock is the one that I’ll be looking at getting ready to go somewhere, only to discover that I’m an hour off.

So I’m going go try to enjoy my Sunday, and not be too growly.

I hope you all have a good day!

Experimenting with Apple Watch Ultra

Over the past few weeks I’ve been having a lot of annoying issues with my Apple Watch.

Primarily the problem is around exercise and workouts. 

I’ll start a workout, then get into my activity, usually I’ll check my watch to see how I’m doing. It’s at this point that I find the watch has missed as much as 1/2 of my exercise time. 

I’ll turn off the workout, then restart the workout and often the subsequent exercise credit will be correctly shown. But because of the weird variances I’m not concentrating on my hiking or enjoying my walk because I’m constantly checking the technology to see if it’s working properly.

I’ve called Apple, their phone people have no clue what’s going on or why something that was working just fine is suddenly not working properly.

The Apple exercise ring is tied to heart rate. So, from a hardware perspective that means that the optical sensors on the Apple Watch have to be clean and unobstructed.

(As an aside, this is why people with darker skin tones have more difficulty getting Apple Watch to properly record their exercise activity. Their natural defense against UV damage to their skin also reduces visible light transmission through their skin. Honestly, If I had to make a trade off, I’d take a darker skin tone than my glow in the dark, skin cancer prone, ghostly white.)

When the Watch first started giving me trouble, I cleaned the back of the watch containing the sensors and also looked at the wrist I wear the watch on, to determine if there was irritation that might be altering or obstructing the light from the sensors.

That made little to no difference.

I did notice that if I was shoveling snow, the exercise and movement values updated normally. During snow shoveling I start the HIT (High Intensity Interval Training) workout because the work I’m doing shoveling snow sort of matches the workout.

I also noticed that walking and hiking during snowy times generally worked well.

But if I was hiking or walking on a sunny but coolish day, it wasn’t uncommon for me to lose 1/3 to 1/2 of the exercise time even though I was walking the same route, with the same watch, same band, and same dog dragging me along so he can sniff the next pile of poop.

Why the different behavior? Was Apple updating the sensor Algorithm behind the scenes? Is there some kind of stepped change to the Algorithm that happens after a certain number of workout hours, does it get adjusted based on fitness telemetry gathered during your workouts? I could see this as a form of motivation to get more fit.

If you ask an apple rep these questions, they aren’t able to answer. 

I got so pissed off that I stopped wearing my Apple Watch for a week or so. I admit, I do like the simplicity of a good old fashioned automatic watch. I like the ticking sound at night, and that I don’t have to fiddle with it. Simple Time & Date and I’m pretty happy.

The Apple Watch for me came about because too many shady people were taking way too much interest in my old fashioned watch. Better I’m mugged for a $500 watch than a $15,000 watch.

Plus I could have the joy of locking the Apple Watch from a web site, and listing it as stolen. Fuck you scumbags!! (I’d be fine with having the Apple Watch blow up when I listed it stolen. Let’s go Arabic shall we? You stole, you lost your hand…) Can you tell I’ve got a very dim view of criminals???

Anyway, I heard that there was a Watch OS update coming. So I slapped my Apple Watch on its charger for a while then put it back on. I started experimenting and have begun to wonder if the issue isn’t the watch sensors or the Algorithm, but is instead physiology.

The watch always misses the beginning of the walk. There’s an initial heart rate entry, then as I’m walking the data just stops. At some point in the walk or hike, the data comes back of its own volition, usually when I’m really pushing hard to move up a mountain or the dog and I are moving fast.

But it’s always lost at the beginning of the walk.

I looked back into records of the summer months and there wasn’t any missed data. Then I went back years. I’ve had an Apple Watch 3, 5, and now the Ultra. There was a consistent pattern from late 2019 forward. Lost heart rate data starting in mid to late November and persisting until April. This pattern persisted across the Apple Watch Series 5 and Ultra.

Why is it seasonal?

More confusing, why is the data loss intermittent during those times?

To be fair I was going to write a blog post about how the Apple Watch itself and the monthly challenges create a disincentive to work out or indeed keep fit at all. If a goal is constantly being moved such that an individual cannot ever achieve it, the individual will eventually say, “Fuck It!” 

However, I may have stumbled upon new data that would dissuade me from writing such a piece. 

Yesterday It was overcast, the humidity was high and it was a bit windy. As I was getting ready for the walk with the dog I put on my usual jacket and on a whim put on my gloves so my hands didn’t get numb from the wind chill. I sighed and started the outdoor walk workout then out the door I went. 

I knew at least half the data would be missing for the workout, but hey, why not? A little exercise data even if it’s inaccurate is better than none.

On the walk, I got the usual notification about the miles and pace. And I also got a notification that my exercise ring closed. I didn’t look at it or compare the exercise ring closing with the elapsed time of the workout.

When I got home, I pulled off my gloves, stopped the workout because the screen doesn’t react if I’m wearing gloves. Then I found that the entirety of my workout counted toward the exercise ring. “Typical, I thought, intermittent as hell. Works one day then not for the next 2.”

I picked up the gloves to put them away, and stopped…

Could it be that my hands being cold affects the sensors? What happens when the extremities get cold? The human body will shunt blood flow away from the extremities and toward the core as a protective mechanism against hypothermia. It’s a way of limiting heat loss. 

Hmm. If my hands are cold, but I’m wearing a jacket do just my hands turn on the vasoconstriction and would that reduce blood flow to the point that the optical sensors on my wrist wouldn’t accurately detect blood flow? 

When I’m shoveling snow, I’m wearing gloves, typically more for protection against blisters and dry skin than for warmth. If it’s windy in fall or winter I may put on gloves for a walk, especially if it’s humid or there’s some kind of misty rain.

When the body has excess heat to bleed off, vasodilation occurs allowing blood to move freely toward the surface of the skin to cool. That’s even before sweating begins. It’s simply thermodynamic heat exchange. That would explain why the end of a walk or hike is almost always accurate, and the beginning isn’t. 

I usually walk not wearing gloves in fall and winter.  I’m actually a little cold in the beginning of a walk because I don’t want to be too hot and uncomfortable or having to carry my jacket when I’m working my way back up the hill.

I wondered, “Have the times when the watch captured data flawlessly in the cooler months been on those days when I was wearing gloves and / or the temperature was above a certain point?” 

I was going to experiment more with this theory today. Unfortunately, I neglected to turn off auto update on the watch and discovered this morning that overnight the OS had updated to 10.4

I suppose I can still experiment even with the OS update. It’s 35°F outside, sunny and calm. Under these circumstances I wouldn’t wear gloves but I’d wear my hat and jacket. I’m thinking I’ll walk the dog without gloves and see if the data loss is present. Then tomorrow I’ll wear gloves and see if the data loss goes away or is minimized.

If it turns out that my theory is correct should I send it to Apple? I guess the real question is Would Apple listen and make the findings available to their phone staff to save other people the frustration and annoyance I’ve experienced? Would Apple even incorporate my theoretical findings into their testing to prove or disprove me. It would be nice if they did, and provided a real technical explanation. 

But somehow I don’t think they would, even if I provided them with the data. 

Apple has become exceedingly arrogant. Couple that with their notorious secrecy and minimalist instruction manuals, and I doubt seriously they’re interested in making information available.

I’ll think about it while attempting to confirm my theory. 

Once again, this is why companies should have real humans testing software and products instead of just doing automated stuff.

Hmm. 20,000 per month?

That kind of money goes a loooooonnnnngg way anywhere, but in Florida, Dang!

An article in the New York Post reports a Mother of 3 in Florida has been banned from picking up her kids from school pickup area. The ban is over a sticker for the Mom’s OnlyFans account on the back windows or her car. (Hey you Gotta advertise!) She is allowed to park across the street, collect her children, then walk everyone back across the street to her vehicle.

The school in question is a Christian School, can you see where there might be a problem?

Skimming further in the article I noticed a couple of things and these are what stopped me from just moving on to the next insanity.

The Mom’s account makes $20,000 a month.
The Mom only has sex with her Husband on camera. They don’t do any swapping or 3 somes. 
The couple films in a studio. The implication is the studio is at a location different from the family residence so the children aren’t exposed to the production of pornography. (I’ve often wondered how “God Fearing Christians” made babies when the entire family lived in a one room cabin. Mom & Dad had to get busy somewhere…)

As I was thinking about it, I was struck by this line of reasoning.

Mom & Dad Employed – Check
Mom, Dad, Children all live together, A Nuclear Family – Check
Mom & Dad’s business isolated from the home – Check
Mom & Dad are in a monogamous relationship – Check
Nobody is being exploited against their will – Check

Isn’t that exactly what the Religious Right wants? Just asking… The school itself is a private school, they’re gladly taking the tuition money that’s earned from Mom & Dad having sex with each other on camera.

There is one school of thought that says Mary, you know, the prostitute, financed the ministry of Jesus himself with earnings she’d saved from doing “business”.  It seems a little hypocritical of the school to take the money from these parents, then ignore Mary’s integral part in the story of Jesus. In this case they’re just broadcasting from their marriage bed.

I think the real problem is this.

The Mom is kinda hot. After 3 kids, she’s a total MILF.

There’s another parent Lexy Thomas, who is a TikTok influencer trying to get the Cline children tossed out of the Christian school. 

She claims that the school administrators did nothing about the decal. I’d say forcing the Clines to park across the street is about all they could do. The school is private property and they’ve said the Clines may not drive their vehicle on school property.

Even so, the TikTok Scold is pushing to have the Cline children removed entirely from the school.

Isn’t there another teaching in the Bible? Something like, let not the sins of the father be visited upon his children? Apparently, TikTok Lexy missed that particular bible study class.

The Clines say they’ve been upfront and above board about what they do and how they earn a living.

One student was apparently suspended for attempting to access the OnlyFans site on his phone while at school. This has provided fodder for the TicTok mother to keep making an issue about the Clines.

To be honest, the boy could have gotten in trouble for trying to access any porn site. The kid probably just saw the OnlyFans decal and typed it into his phone. I’ve done that with site names rolling by on cars. I think you can just take a picture of the sign with an iPhone and it will open it automatically. So I highly doubt the boy in question was “Suddenly and Shockingly” exposed to pornography.

The paywall alone should have stopped him.

The problem is an old one and it’s not about sex, or morals, or “The Children”. 

The problem is jealousy.

The photo to the right is purported to be Lexy Thomas. She’s a plain jane, and why the heck should she be the only person not having any fun? 

Sex is sacred, and only to be engaged in to make a baby. Otherwise the jaws of life are required to open her legs, Right? Ever notice how puritanical women always claim to be the victim and surprised, when their Man finds other pleasurable company, because they stopped putting out.

This photo appears to be from her TikTok account. If you’re going to be an “Influencer” why the hell didn’t you at least put some effort into your profile picture? Come on lady. 

Lets see… 

Hot 35 year old blond bombshell with a great rack making money screwing her husband on camera (pictured above)

OR

This ————————————————>

Survey says,

Bombshell!

There was a line in the article that caught my attention.

Several parents began to take note of the sticker during pickup and drop-off at the religious school, and word began to spread about Cline’s vocation.

‘Several Parents’ a.k.a. other mothers, a.k.a. vindictive gossips.

I was reminded of Loretta Lynn’s Harper Valley P.T.A.


Update:  02/12/2024 The children have been kicked out of the school.

So the nasty busybodies got their way and I’m sure they’re feeling super righteous about themselves. 

It would be really funny if the Porn Parents turned around and purchased the school. I’d probably laugh myself right into a stroke.

For the moment, The Harper Valley P.T.A. won. I have faith that Karma is a stone bitch and something will happen to the busybodies.

I think it would be really interesting to know how many Only Fans accounts tracked back to the oh so righteous parents whose children are still attending the school. 

After all, if a man has to rely on his hand because he can’t rent “The Jaws Of Life” to open his shrew busybody of a wifes legs he’s gonna need some interesting stimulation.