Tag: Annoyances

Posted on

He tries so hard to be a good boy.

My dog that is,

The poor puppy was so conflicted.

My lower back is spasming and any little movement on my part generates intense pain. Standing is an ordeal, lying down in bed is almost as bad. Sitting is mostly tolerable but getting up & down is a nightmare.

Thankfully I did whatever I did to my back near the end of the day so the pup got his walk.

Sleeping last night was more of a dream than actual fact.

The dog spent most of the night on the bed. He checked on me every time I woke myself up groaning in pain. At one point he lay down beside me with his head on my shoulder. Normally, he’s not a super cuddly pup, so I know he’s aware something is wrong with daddy.

I hope he’ll understand when he doesn’t get his walk today.

Well before dawn, while I was enjoying this rare cuddly moment, the yappy annoyances otherwise known as chihuahuas at crazy pants house started in. There are 5 of them, (I think. It’s tough to count them because they all look and sound alike.) After at least a half hour of this incessant barking we hear from crazy pants herself making some weird noise in addition to the barking chihuahuas.

My dog, had mostly ignored the incessant barking, I suspect that’s because it’s incessant, and even he has come to realize these chihuahuas are running their mouths but not saying anything of interest to him.

At the height of their yapping he’d rolled over on his back and groaned. As if to say, “What the Fuck Now?” Unfortunately for him, the roll put his head at an uncomfortable angle against my arm. He was trying to get comfortable again when crazy pants started in at the top of her lungs.

That was too much.

He had to get up to go see what the noise was about. He ran to the front window trying to see whatever was going on. Then he came back to the bedroom and started working me out of bed. It’s my job to open the slider in the morning.

By this time, crazy pants had begun jabbering words, and making sounds that sounded like grunting, or a human vomiting. That she was doing all this in her yard isn’t surprising, I wouldn’t be surprised in the least if I looked over there and saw her taking a shit, or playing with herself. (At which point I’m sure I’d be the one vomiting. Crazy pants has been ridden hard and put up wet once too often. I’m sure the same is true of her privates.)

At this point my dog, try as he might couldn’t stop himself from running between the window and the backdoor. He just had to check out the disturbance and comment on it. Unlike the yappy chihuahuas his comments are more like “ruff” then a random interval where he’s listening to the commotion followed by another “ruff”.

I’m blessed that he rarely barks for no reason. If he’s barking there’s something that I should be aware of. He does howl, if there are other “real” dogs barking about something in the neighborhood.

Last night he’d asked to go out about 2am. That’s unusual and often means his tummy is upset. I was up so it wasn’t a big deal. He’d been down in the yard, taken care of business, then laid down on the rear deck so he could watch crazy pants house. If he doesn’t come right back in, it because his stomach is still unsettled.

I must have dozed off on the couch, because about 2:45 I was awakened by the most soulful, mournful, howl I’ve ever heard from him. I don’t know if he was answering coyotes in the distance, or just howling at the moon. I called his name once, and he came right in. He didn’t even give me a dirty look when I closed and locked the slider again.

Opening the slider this morning, he bolted out and down the back stairs right to the gate. Then he sat looking over at crazy pants place, and the barking chihuahuas, while commenting occasionally with a grumbling “ruff, ruff, ruff,” nothing was going on that deserved a real bark from him. He turned and came back inside the house looking almost disgusted.

I’d poured a cup of coffee for myself when crazy pants starts screaming, “It burns! Then began loudly, sobbing and howling owwww!” My thought was, “Oh my, did someone sprinkle water on her?” Alternatively, I actually hoped that she’d found something fatal in the junkyard that her back yard has become.

That’s not kind.

The dog headed back out to the upper deck for a better vantage point since the chihuahuas had increased the intensity of their barking to drown out crazy pants.

After a few more minutes of her “performance” to no audience, applause, or any other form of attention, crazy pants shut the hell up and wandered back into her house I assume.

I couldn’t see her as she was giving her performance, nor did I see her go into her house.

She’d accomplished her goal… Everyone in the neighborhood was no doubt awake.

I think I’m going to try lying or sitting on the couch with a heat pad to get the spasming in my lower back to stop. I doubt that I’ll get the laundry done, or much more in the way of sorting physical paperwork for the accountant.

But, I might still be productive today by immersing myself in the totally digital realm. I can dive into the data from the other half’s computer looking for any relevant financial information that the accountant might need.

I sincerely hope your night and pre-dawn morning was better than mine.

Posted on

Ya Know, I’d really like to wake up when the alarm goes off.

Lately though that has not been the case.

It’s a function of it being Summer and me leaving the windows open for the evening breezes. I fall asleep listening to the crickets and wind in the trees.

I might wake up if the dog shifts position, or jumps back up on the bed after getting a drink. I fall back to sleep quickly after he settles. There’s a security seeing his silhouette on the corner of the bed. I can tell in the darkness that he’s got his noise pointed toward the open sliding door. If anything were to be bold enough to come to the screen he’d be awake, letting me know about it.

The past few days it’s not been the dog who’s waking me up. It’s other humans!

Crazy Pants has taken to blood curdling screams sometime between 5:00 and 6:30 am. One of these days someone she lives with will realize that they can choke the life out of her and no matter how much she screams no-one will think to call the cops or report anything out of the ordinary.

Yesterday she started the morning by kicking or punching one of the men living over there. I don’t know exactly what she did but I woke to a male sound that reminded me of similar sounds guys make if they’re kicked in the balls or kicked in the gut. Moments later she was screaming about how lazy and useless, blah, blah, blah. After a few minutes a strained male voice was replying. There was an escalation of the argument and increase in volume then suddenly Crazy Pants was quiet. If he choked her, I’m not sure I’d be able to testify that he was in the wrong. She was screaming again this morning so apparently he didn’t choke her to death.

This morning the trash truck showed up at 6:15 am to pick up the trash that they’d not bothered to pick up on Monday. The recycling truck came through, but the regular trash truck didn’t. They needn’t have bothered, most of us pulled our trash cans back off the street because we don’t like cleaning up after the nocturnal critters that like to get into the trash. I’m one of the few folks on this street that still has bear proof trash bins. All the new bins supplied by the trash company have no locking mechanism at all. So raccoons, and other night critters attracted by kitchen scraps, sometimes turn the cans over, spreading the contents all over the street or yards.

There’s a reason the trash company issued bear proof trash cans years ago. But that’s been forgotten by some, and the newbies to town never think about the natural wildlife potentially in the area. It’s always funny when a newbie reports seeing a coyote and the old folks (like myself) respond with “And?” We’re expecting something more than, “I saw a coyote!”

Due to the tropical storm, we’ve had heavy construction equipment working in the wash up & down the canyon. This is the second time this year. The distinctive “Beep Beep Beep” starts around 6:45 right after the large diesel engines rumble to life. They even worked Saturday and Sunday so there was no respite from living in a construction zone.

Before they did the “Wash Improvement” we never had dump trucks, bulldozers, bucket diggers, or any of that stuff up here. Now it’s a yearly event.

I miss the silence of the forest, I miss seeing all the wildlife that we used to see in this canyon before the “wash Improvement project” destroyed the water source, habitat, and local environment. The construction sounds alone seem to drive away some animals.

It might have something to do with the time of year the construction starts. I miss having owls nesting near my house. Their hooting in the night was comforting. The red tail hawks moved much higher into the mountains. I’ll still see them soaring on thermals. Sometimes I’ll hear one snatching a small rabbit up out on some nearby open flats. I used to see them hunting all the time. They make spectacular dives, falling like a stone, flaring their wings out at the last possible moment claws extending, then bam! Their prey seems to just vanish.

Even the coyotes have left the canyon. It’s been years since I’ve seen a bear.

Maybe the trash company is right, there’s no need for the security of bear proof trashcans. The habitat has been sufficiently destroyed that humans don’t encounter their distant cousins anymore.

I want to be clear. This is not about climate change. This is about a man made environmental disaster committed in the name of flood control. This is about an environmental study that was incomplete at best, or the county purchased a “Rubber Stamp” at worst. There is still water in the wash. It’s just not accessible most of the time. This is due to the widening and flattening of the wash.

Before improvement, there was a stream about two feet wide and 2 to 3 inches deep most of the year, it only dried up in late Summer. This stream was fed from further up the mountainside. Up in the heights there are collecting pools that rainfall and snow melt keep full most of the year. Water from these collecting pools made its way down the wash splashing over rocks and down small waterfalls churning and bubbling until it made it to my level. The flowing water was cold, and clear. It provided life to all manner of critter that lived in the forest. You name any animal native to this region and we had it.

Walking along the rim of the wash in the early morning or evening you’d see deer, raccoons, sometimes bear, bobcat, cougar, and a variety of birds. It was possible to observe the phenomena of “Peace at the watering hole”. All the animals needed water so it was rare to see any hunting at the water’s edge. 50 yards from the water source all bets were off!

The “improvement” widened and flattened the bottom of the wash. The water still flows from the collecting pools as it always has. The collecting pools are beyond the reach of the county because they exist on National Forest Land therefore they haven’t been “improved”. The water flows down the natural creek bed to the place where the county “improved” things, when it hits the wide flat areas, it spreads out and soaks into the soil. Much of the water evaporates and for most of the year the bottom of the wash is a mud flat, instead of a place with abundant wildlife. Insects and small mammals can capitalize on what water is present, but animals larger than rodents can’t.

Man, once again makes a desert and calls it good.

Lately we’ve had a new “wake up” feature. There’s someone up the road who may be into those stupid wanna-be drift cars. Their only claim to being a “drift car” is a straight exhaust which is unbearably loud when the vehicle is going up a 15-20° incline anytime of day. It does seem especially loud at midnight though. Unfortunately, where there’s one wanna-be “drift car” others soon follow. Now there’s that noise several times in the evening and often right up to about 2 am. I don’t know what the hell they’re doing but the same cars drive up and down the street multiple times every night.

One car in particular leaves every weekday morning at about 7:30am. It’s annoying but I’m already up by then. I’d be up by then because my alarm is set for 7:15am. Not that I ever get to hear that waking me up if I’m home.

I was pleasantly surprised to discover that my alarm did in fact wake me. I made this discovery while I was on a cross country trip last year. I was staying in hotels and found that they were quieter than my home. Isn’t that a kick in the pants?

These are some of the things that go through my mind when I consider moving. The noise alone is reason enough for me to leave. But that begs the question where do I go?

Pulling up stakes is one thing, the question is, “where do you go that would be different?” I don’t want to trade one set of annoying issues for another set of super annoying issues.

I’m pretty sure I know what I don’t want, I don’t know exactly what I do want yet. Come Winter, I’ll have the house closed and the noise won’t be such a big deal. Maybe then I’ll have more restful nights sleep and sleep until my alarm wakes me.

Perhaps with more restful sleep will come answers to questions about where I go from here.

Posted on

THANK YOU WORDPRESS!

Thank you ever so much for breaking the API between Ulysses and your publishing mechanism in your wonderful lemon fresh update. Oh and by the way… When the hell are you going to make Tags and Categories have the same selection mechanism on the web creation page??? Or is that too freaking logical for you bozos.

Thank you for screwing me out of being able to easily create something on my iPad without having to be ONLINE. What? do you have stock in cellular data plans or something?

Thank you for forcing me to use your shitty web creation form. I know you have some BS mobile application. I dumped the app when it looked like you were wanting me to pay for something or some other service to be able to use it.

And MOST OF ALL, Thank you for flushing 4 blogposts that I’ll now have to recreate in your shitty web form.

Oh sure I can maybe copy the text from Ulysses and paste it into your web page but doing so creates a wonderful editing task where each block has to be cleaned up by hand and stripped of all of it’s formatting then reapply the formatting. I’ll probably run it through a straight text editor to flush all the markup then copy plain text into your web POS.

What’s the matter WordPress? are you miffed that more people are creating content with applications that don’t rely on your web or God forbid that crappy mobile WordPress app?

Maybe instead of getting upset that people don’t like your editing or creation interface, you should take a hint…

Posted on

Well that’s continuing a theme!

Called AAA to get a tow truck so that I could have the Chevy towed to a repair facility. It’s nothing big, something isn’t working right in the cooling system. It shouldn’t be any big deal to get the problem fixed.

I started this process at 8:15am. AAA wants to know what the problem is, “Does the vehicle Start? Is this just a jump situation etc…”

I tell them It starts, and why I need a tow to have it serviced. I think nothing of it. The pickup is scheduled for 10:00 am. I pour myself another cup of coffee.

AAA Sends me a text message saying that the car will be picked up at 10. Okay… Then I get a text saying they’re going to be here at 9:04am/ Okay…. I hop in the shower, I get dressed and I’m done by 8:55. 9:04 blows by, then another text, 9:37. Okay. The time blows by then another text saying 10:30. Okay… That time blows by. Then another text saying 11:00.

Now I’m annoyed!

I have some plans that require I be someplace at a specific time. You know. Like an appointment! Where you’re at a place when you say you’re going to be…

I’m considering canceling the whole deal when low and behold the tow truck shows up.

I’m thinking, “Good we can finally get this show on the road…”

The tow truck driver blocks the entire street and partially blocks the cross street. Okay I’m thinking, “we really need to get this show on the road.” The tow truck driver calls me as I’m heading down the stairs ….

REALLY???? You’re 1 or 2 hours late, you park like a deranged chimpanzee, and you’re too lazy to get out of your fucking truck to actually come to the address you’re supposed to be coming to?

Then he sees me and hangs up the phone. Gets out of the truck and says “Your car won’t start???”

I say, “Uh no the car will start but we need to get moving.” He gets pissy, and throws me attitude! OH NO YOU DID NOT!!!

I tell him I’ve got an appointment and he says, “I’m just the driver” I’m thinking, “Then you better fucking drive!” I’m trying to maintain my calm, so I don’t say anything.

Then I think about it and say, “What’s going on? You rescheduled 3 times. “

Then he gives me that “I’m just a driver,” bullshit again.

I say I get that. Then he says, “Call someone else!”

My brain didn’t even reboot. I said, “Good idea! I will.”

I stomped back into the house and immediately LIT UP AAA! While I’m on the phone with AAA I can still see this asshole tow truck driver blocking our street and part of the main cross street.

I tell AAA that they are never to send anyone from this Phelan Towing company to my address again. I tell them he’s still sitting out there playing with himself while I’m talking to them. I also tell them that I haven’t been quite this mad in years! I even said thanks cause now I know I’m alive!!!!

I cancel the call and will deal with it tomorrow.

I hop in my other car and take off. I have to pull around the idiot tow truck driver who is now blocking a different area of the cross street.

I make it to my appointment, hit the grocery store afterward, and also stopped by the Sheriffs office to ask how we need to handle the escalating situation with Crazy Pants and all the trashy people living there.

I got home about 1:00PM finally was able to eat something. I kept putting off eating because I knew as soon as I’d prepared something for breakfast the tow truck would be here and I’d waste the food.

Again, how about actually showing up when you say you’re going to?

Let me fucking guess… Being on time is racist????

Posted on

Just because I’m a nice guy…

Doesn’t mean that I want to be drawn into your bullshit.

Especially if you don’t have the balls to directly ask me what you want.

I think I’m going to have a T-Shirt made!

I’m basically a nice guy. I can be an asshole, but to be honest that’s a defensive screen because so many people want to take advantage of any nice people they meet.

Being nice is perceived by some, sadly too many, as inherently weak and easily manipulated. So a lot of nice people cloak themselves in the mantle of being an asshole. If we didn’t, we’d be manipulated into doing shit that we don’t want to do, or indeed didn’t have the time to do for other people all our lives.

I can tell you this from bitter experience, once someone gets their hooks into you and figures out that they can manipulate you they will never stop. They’ll be a fucking parasite until you’ve got nothing left to give them or you actively burn them out of your life.

I have a lot of respect for people who can say “No” without guilt, fear, or remorse.

I have a hard time saying “No” because growing up I was conditioned to please EVERYONE! Instead of breaking that conditioning which was built from the damn cradle onward, I created the asshole cloak. My problem is that sometimes I leave the house without it.

An interesting case in point was Saturday.

I had a very disturbing call with my Mother. The call was beyond disturbing it was very upsetting. (No one can push your buttons like your Mother!) Normally, when I get this kind of upset, I do something physical to dissipate the hurt and anger before it turns in on me and causes further damage.

This is how we came to have a drip irrigation system at our house prior to the place burning. It’s a serious challenge to dig any kind of hole where I live. One day, The Other Half and I had a throw down of an argument. I grabbed my handy trenching tool and proceeded to dig all the trenches necessary to bury the drip lines. When he stepped out onto the deck with a tall glass of ice tea and told me to come and drink something I took it as him apologizing. He wasn’t… He was just worried that I’d work myself to heat stroke. Later he told me he kept thinking, “That dumbass will come in soon, he’s been out there working in that heat for six solid hours with no food and no water.” He only fixed me a glass of iced tea when he realized I was fixated on what I was doing.

From then on, he’d keep an eye on me. He realized that day that I was very stubborn and if I was completely engaged in doing something, I would literally forget basic stuff. This was especially true if I was working off anger, frustration, or sadness. He wasn’t so worried about me in the Winter time but Summer always made him nervous.

Anyhow, I’d had this phone call with my Mother. I pulled on my boots, grabbed my yard tool, and got to cutting and trimming. Trouble was, I ran out of plants to mangle before I ran out of anger. I switched from the chainsaw to the weed whacker and discovered there wasn’t anything tall enough in my yard to trim down.

Then I remembered that my next door neighbor had been out in Palm Springs looking after a sick friend. I marched over to his yard. Surely, there must be something that needs cutting! No Joy! Nothing had grown since the last time I trimmed his place. (I took care of his yard before the weed abatement people could ticket him.)

Now I’m getting frustrated about not being able to vent my frustration!

Hmmm. The new guy… he’s going through a divorce. He’s been spending time with his kids and doesn’t have any of his stuff with him. He’s only living there for 6 months… And he’s gone for the afternoon with his Son.

His rental yard is ripe for the trimming…

So I get to work. My anger and frustration flowing out of me as I focus on trimming the weeds. I’m happy in my own world mowing down thicket after thicket. I’ve moved to the area where he parks and have just about completed it when I hear my name.

FUCK!

It’s the neighbor that lives next to Crazy Pants. The guy who NEVER says what he means. Who never just asks for what he wants, instead it’s always a long drawn out convoluted miasma of words and randomized ideas. I sometimes find dealing with him excruciating. And in my current state… I’m in no fucking mood!

But then, he hits me with a question that makes me concerned that he’s losing his mind just like my Mother. He asks if I’m the property owner of the rental air B&B. He knows that I’m not. When I tell him, “No,” he asks me if I have a key to the place. Uh, “No!”

Suddenly I flash forward to where this conversation is going because this conversation is like 10 other “conversations” before.

He’s going to bitch about the exterior lights being left on and since he sleeps in his living room how these lights bother him and disrupt his sleep. YAWN! NOT MY FUCKING PROBLEM!

But he wants to make it my problem. He wants me to talk to whoever and make them turn out the lights. He seems to expect me to be interested or concerned or frankly give a damn.

In the back of my mind I’m thinking, “Get off your ass, put down the fucking bong, and deal with your own shit.” He’s still droning on and on about how tough it is for him sleep and how put upon these lights are making him feel, no-one understands how difficult… blah, blah, blah.

I’m at the end of the conversation while he’s still droning on. And I’m getting really angry about it. I put my brain in neutral. Why does this guy think I, or anyone else for that matter care? Can he not see that I’m hot and sweaty and his puerile issue with the lights is of zero concern to me, I just want to get back to burning off angry energy which he’s actively refueling.

I cut off the remaining 45 minutes of his bitching and complaining, “You know man, both of the lights shine into my house too. We’ve discussed this before. The folks are renters and probably haven’t figured out what switches do what yet. When it was an Air B&B those renters always left the lights on. Having a permanent renter is better than an Air B&B here.”

He blinked, “Both Lights????”

I pretty much growled, “Uh yeah, the porch light and the deck light both shine into my house. I use this new thing they call a shade.”

The whine of the weed whacker motor drowned out whatever reply he might have made. Then I realized part of what had made me so angry. For all his whingeing and blathering on about his interrupted sleep, not once did he ask me directly to speak to someone on his behalf, he just assumed that because I’m a nice guy he can delegate his shit to me.

Now I’m really pissed off. How about this motherfucker asking himself, or me what’s up? Not once in 30+ years of living here have I gone unbidden into someone else yard to clear weeds. Clearly I’m exhibiting odd behavior.

I popped open the gate to the rest of the rental’s yard.

The weeds in that yard now know the meaning of Vengeful! The weeds on an odd small patch of land at the end of my street also learned the term.

The battery died just as I finished the little patch.

My anger and rage had abated significantly, but embers still remain.

I’m going to be really screwed the next time my Mother calls.

OH LOOK! There she is now.

Maybe I really need that belt sander I’ve been looking at. There’s some painting to be done around here. Perhaps that nice compound mitre saw too.

Sigh, “Hello Mom. No, we spoke yesterday. Yes we did, I’m sorry you don’t remember. No, I’m not lying to you…”