Posts

Posted on

Ahh Bread and Circuses!

What a stupid mess!

I’m so sick of Trump, and of the Democrats & Republicans.

I weep for the state of justice in this country and fully expect, any time now, for assassination to become the de facto method used to settle election irregularities.

One thing that the Democrats can be very proud of, is they’ve silenced everyone with fear and law fare.

Remember, “If you see something, Say something.” Now that the IRS whistleblowers are looking at possible arrest and criminal charges BECAUSE they blew the whistle on the Hunter Biden investigation. It pretty much means that no more whistleblowers will come forward.

I guess the phrase now is “See Something, Say NOTHING!”

In other words, the corruption will be allowed to grow and will do so without opposition.

Lawyers who are in many cases useless, will now be even MORE useless because they’ll be afraid of the government using RICO statues and insurrection charges.

We’re going backwards. With just a few more iterations of corrupt law fare. We won’t have a presidential election. We’ll have WarLords being “Elected” via a Thunderdome process.

That would be interesting… No debates, just a fight to the death to determine who leads. Go ahead, laugh. It sounds outlandish, but lately the most outlandish theories often turn out to happen.

Remember when Ivermectin was a dangerous Horse Dewormer? (That assertion was an outright LIE!) Well guess what? Ivermectin is back in the WHO list of wonder medications for humans, and there’s also a recent peer reviewed study that says flat out Ivermectin is also an effective treatment for COVID.

As recently as 1 year ago saying something like the paragraph above would be shouted down as a DANGEROUS CONSPIRACY THEORY. I’d have been banned from Twitter & Facebook. I’d have been canceled and written off as a lunatic nut job.

Well bucko what are you going to say now? Still going to cancel me? Do you still feel the need to silence the freaking truth? A truth I might add that a very few courageous Doctors fought to bring to the public’s attention during the pandemic. A truth that in some cases cost them their careers?

Where is the outrage about that? When will we see conspirators in THIS LIE, appearing for booking at jails?

Oh and you jackasses in Sacramento… I haven’t forgotten that you were trying to pass laws that would strip a Doctor of their license to practice medicine if they had the temerity to speak out against the politically controlled narrative. You know, if they spoke about real science instead of manufactured bullshit designed to make a few people extremely rich, while terrorizing the general population.

Doctors, don’t think I’m defending you in general. I have a bone to pick with a bunch of doctors at a particular hospital. But those bastards and their incompetence are protected by law.

It’s another one of those situations where Right and The Law do not, and never will intersect.

I’ll never trust a doctor again. I’m even of half a mind to never let someone put me under a general anesthetic again. I want to be able to check the surgeons work. Just a reminder, if a doctor can not explain their diagnosis, and proposed course of treatment, in plain simple English, find another doctor! Because the SOB you’re dealing with, buries his mistakes, probably often.

I’m jumping around because the circus going on Georgia is part of the same bullshit. It’s the same show trial as the Jan 6th committee, the same as the impeachments, the same as Hunter Biden’s laptop is Russian disinformation, the COVID vaccination will prevent you from getting COVID… Oh wait, the COVID vaccination will make COVID less severe, Oh wait… It’s the same circus that had President Biden threatening the American people with “get a vaccination OR ELSE! “

I’ve had enough of this endless stream of runny bullshit. I know that I’m not alone in having reached my maximum.

Much as I hate to think of voting anymore in California. I’m so angry and disgusted I’d vote for a clone of Hitler at this point.

The thing about all this bread and circus shit is that I am personally embarrassed for my country. This is humiliating on the world stage and all these shitty politicians have no shame whatsoever. They should! I’d be all for bringing back Stocks in the public square.

Unfortunately I don’t think there’s enough rotten fruits and vegetables to pelt our feckless politicians, and lifelong bureaucrats.

I’m tired of TV and Movies with few exceptions. I think I’ll get back into video gaming. At least the puzzles and stories are entertaining and mentally stimulating. Maybe I’ll pick up a PS5 bundle I saw at Costco. It’s pricy but all the game consoles are pricy. I think the Costco bundle includes some additional and useful items.

How weird is that? I’m in my 60s and I’ve been reading a lot more, trying to avoid the news, not too interested in TV or current movies. Hulu is useful for me to sample movies and TV, I usually don’t make it though more than 15 mins of anything new. Here I am, contemplating a new game console. My Xbox 360 is pretty tired and the games I’ve enjoyed most on Xbox are from independent studios who also produce their games for PlayStation. The only Xbox game I’ll miss is Halo.

There is an advantage in the PlayStation. It’s Apple TV streaming capable, has a BluRay drive and therefore could serve as an “All In one” solution if I end up in an apartment for a while. I’ll have to do something interesting for a sound system. But that’s a bridge I’ll burn when I get there.

I’m still batting the issue around.

Posted on

I was going to start this with the old…

… This is your brain on drugs photo. If you’re old enough, you’d remember the eggs in the frying pan.

As I was looking for an easy image to pull, (because I don’t feel like fried eggs for breakfast,) I ran across a lot of images of brains, and brain related memes.

Ironically more than a few of those “informative” images, were suspect or had typos.

This one for example, has both concerns. I think the average human brain is perhaps 1/3 larger than the image asserts and there’s the old To, Too, Two, bugaboo. I’m going to ignore capitalization and sentence structure.

According to a quick internet search, (we all know how accurate that’s likely to be,) The average human brain weighs in, at about 3 lbs. It has a volume of 1260 cm3. Another interesting thing to note is that the human brain contains approximately 40% fat.

I suppose that means I shouldn’t have been offended when someone called me a fathead.

All of this about brains started because as I’ve moved through the grieving process, I’ve noticed things that disturb the hell out of me. I can’t remember SHIT! I write stuff down, or I put it into my phone and then forget to check my list.

I didn’t used to have this problem. I remembered everything, and found the act of writing things down to be a waste of time because I remembered everything I needed to do.

Now, I can’t stay focused, or on task. Everything is monumentally difficult, even the things I like doing. I’ve also noticed that I feel like I’ve lost myself, and am lost. I don’t “Feel” like myself right now. I’m easily bored and far too easily annoyed by the simplest of things.

People have said that this will pass. I can feel the truth of that statement. Simultaneously, I sense another truth as well. The hurt will diminish, (and has,) but I will never be the same person I was. I will be irrevocably changed. Things that I used to enjoy, I may leave behind because those things remind me of who I was with my other half, and it is too painful.

It’s in your other half’s absence that you are confronted with constant reminders of how much you were loved. You also have to confront how much you took that love and care for granted. There’s an element of guilt in that last bit. I don’t think guilt is the right emotion because if the roles were reversed, the feelings would be the same.

Moving on is hard. I haven’t done as good a job at it as I thought I would. I feel ashamed about that. I’ve been told not to beat myself up over it. I try not to, but I still feel ashamed.

I thought I was prepared. I thought it would be a quick searing pain and then it would be done. I was wrong. The pain lingers on. I think that’s a lyric from Pink Floyd’s The Wall. I don’t remember the exact track.

I understand now why many societies have a minimum period for the grieving process. None of these societies have the process written in stone but many have social constructs that determine appropriateness of various behavior during this time.

As an intelligent species with millennia of lived experience behind us, various social fabrics have been woven to accommodate and protect those of us wounded by loss. Make no mistake, it’s a gaping festering emotional wound. It may be a wound that scars over but is always felt. My thinking along these lines allowed me to feel a connectedness that is very human, and was strangely comforting.

July and August have been very hard months for me. I’ve burned a lot of energy trying to process why. His birthday, my Birthday, my Father’s Birthday, the anniversary of my Father’s death, this was typically the time that my other half and I would do things together because he was off work. Which meant he wasn’t running from thing to thing 7 days a week.

In years past we’d take short trips, go to museums, wine tasting, or if it was really hot, we’d content ourselves to walk the dog or dogs here in the mountains where it was cool and beautiful.

In really good years, I’d have sucked enough cock and kissed enough ass at my employer that I could actually take my paltry week of vacation. Most of the time though, “Business Needs” prevented me having anything but weekends off. (Business needs usually meant that the boss was taking 3 weeks off in Cancun with his family or mistress and fuck everyone else!)

School would have started by now and my other half would be getting into the swing of the school year plus preparing for the holiday services at the church and temple.

This hit me like a ton of bricks yesterday while I was making a meatloaf. Laugh if you wish, it is funny. I think it’s the mundane nature of what I was doing.

For a few minutes I forgot he was gone. I looked at the clock on the stove and thought, “I’ll get this cooked and walk the dog before he gets home then make a nice summer salad and sweet corn for dinner, the weather is nice enough that we could perhaps eat on the deck tonight,”

Then I saw his car in the driveway where I’d parked it, and it all crashed in on me again, he’s gone and he’s not coming back.

I think the dog is getting tired of comforting me…

Perhaps not, he doesn’t seem to care as long I cuddle him back. Then he does the only thing he knows as a “Fixes Everything,” he’ll keep bringing me balls until I pick one to throw for him. Apparently fetching a ball is the puppy cure-all that ails you.

It actually works. I think it’s his tenacity, he’ll bring each ball in, drop it at my feet or in my lap and wait for a response. The response he’s looking for is a smile, or for me to grab the ball. At that point his tail starts wagging and he heads for the door. All is well again…

The point of this rambling train of thought is;
Life is Change
Change is sometimes painful
Love is beautiful, terrible, painful, and joyous. Above all, those we love and who love us back are never forgotten, because they’ve literally gotten into our head.
The pain we feel when grieving is real, and I think caused by suddenly finding familiar pathways in our heads non-functional.

Hell, it could even be endorphin withdrawal. When we see a loved one we get a hit and when we don’t see them anymore we have to go cold turkey.

There are probably thousands of too tightly wrapped Phds, MDs, and whatever else the educational system has turned out that will vehemently disagree with my assessment. Go ahead! I never claimed I was an expert, I’d bet however that I’m a damn sight closer to being an expert than any of those so called “Experts” because I’m living through this time, it’s my lived experience. (See what I mean? I’m almost as edgy and easily pissed off as Biden, or my Mom these days.)

I need an endorphin hit. Maybe I’ll go buy myself a birthday present or two. I think I’ll try the built-in method of getting that endorphin hit before I go out and spend money. I suspect however that I’m going to be shopping in the next day or two.

Maybe it’s time for a haircut, a massage, and some time spent caring for myself and saying the hell with responsible behavior (within limits…)

Yeah, I’m working through a lot of shit that I am ill equipped to handle.

Posted on

It’s a clean new morning!

A certain someone woke me as soon as he figured out the rain had stopped.

I have to admire the way the dog resets every day. He makes me smile more than most other things, so I’ll keep him around for now.

For those of you still below the grey cloud cover, here’s a sample of what you have to look forward to, later today.

The morning smells clean and fresh. The dog is beside himself exploring the yard. He’s already pushing for a walk, which he’ll get after I’ve had at least one cup of coffee…

I’m not sure if the trash folks are coming up today or not. I don’t know how crazy things are beyond what I can see.

I never lost power, or was inconvenienced in the least by the storm. I got to stay inside most of the day enjoying a movie or two, the dog cuddled up beside me with the sound of rain on the roof and the wash behind the house roaring away.

It looks like there’s some kind of inspection crew down at the bridge, I can see the lights but not what they’re doing. I guess I need a decent pair of binoculars at the very least.

I’ve been waiting for a pair that were all “techie” range finder, night vision, predator weapon interface. You know, loaded with SciFi shit like you see in the movies. You’d think by now someone would have put something like that together! 😁

I wanted to see if the smiley face would work. Don’t expect me to start communicating in modern hieroglyphics but I wanted to test it as an option.

It doesn’t look like there’s a lot to clean up immediately around the house. I’ll wander out in a bit to do an inspection just to make sure. I don’t believe there’s any damage either so I don’t have to deal with insurance claims or FEMA.

As you may have noticed I’ve posted some video in the past day or two. Yesterday it was because I was bored, and a video shot on my phone was not to my liking. I set about cleaning it up and learned more about editing video. I’ll never be a pro at it but it’s interesting to dabble with.

The reason I shot the video in the first place was to send to my neighbor who is helping out a sick loved one in Palm Springs and was curious about his house and the neighborhood. I suspect that he’s dealing with a number of messes out there which are more severe than what happened here.

Once I’d exhausted my patience with video stuff, I spent the rest of the day answering inquiries from family on the East Coast who had watched too much CNN. From the way they were talking I imagined CNN was saying that the end of days was here and it was starting in California?

Anyway after quieting their concerns and reminding them all that an 8000 Ft mountain stood between me and the storm, they lapsed back to normal anxiety levels. I’m so confident about my mountain I dare a CAT 5 hurricane to hit it directly!

Bring it! Mother Nature.

Seriously, most storms that come in from the South are gutted on the peaks of the mountains. I live in their shadow, the upside is those storms I don’t usually worry about too much, the down side is that in winter it’s dark at my house by 3pm.

The only storms I really worry about are those swirling storms that come in from the North. Those are usually bitterly cold and batter the town for days on end.

Those of you who were impacted by the storm, I hope you fared at least as well as I did. Remember things are still gooey in some places. So pay attention and don’t take any chances with mud or innocent puddles across the roads.

Have a good day

I just found out that part of my little town is cut off due to some roads and bridges being washed out. This doesn’t affect me per se because I don’t need to go anywhere today or probably tomorrow. When I secured the place due to the unknowns of the storm, I secured to stay in place for days… Even a week or two if necessary.

I find that having laid in supplies, having a plan, and not having to go anywhere tends to make me a whole lot calmer about this sort of thing.

Posted on

Well California really has it all!

In addition to fires, earthquakes, blizzards, mudslides, Santa Ana winds, the occasional tornado, and floods.

California can boast a hurricane warning, fleeting as it was. The hurricane warning has devolved into a tropical storm warning and will likely lead to mudslides and flooding.

I’m not sure how fires would stand up to this amount of rain but we could still get a few tornadoes out of this too.

My family in Florida is laughing their butts off. They were snickering about how the news was portraying this Hurricane. They saw it was a Category 4 and thought perhaps there was some danger so they called or texted to ask.

I pointed out that this was not the first hurricane I’d seen, it’s not even the first I’ve seen in California.

Most of the hurricanes roll up the Gulf of California, or they come from the Pacific, cross the Baja peninsula and die in Mexico’s desert region. Their remnants then make their way north into AZ, NM, or TX.

The rare hurricane that reaches the top of the Gulf of California degrades rapidly from hurricane, to tropical storm, to just a lot of rain as it makes its way across the desert and dumps a lot of moisture across southern California. Sometimes the rain gets to NV, AZ and UT.

In other words, it’s no big deal.

This Storm formerly known as Hurricane Hillary. Is unusual because it didn’t roll into the gulf of California. Instead it’s heading up the Pacific side of Baja.

It doesn’t matter too much though. The Pacific starts cooling down pretty rapidly as you go North.

Hurricanes typically like warm water and get their energy from it. That’s why most of the hurricanes on the East coast tend to form near the equator and then swing north through the Caribbean. Warm shallow seas provide a lot of energy. Or so I’ve been told by friends who know a lot more about weather than I do.

With all this information in my head and looking to the South, there is an 8000 Ft. Mountain between me and the storm. I figured Hillary would fall apart into a tropical storm by the time it got to San Diego and we’d just get a lot of rain.

As of this morning that appears to be holding true. I’ll have to wait and see this evening if the predicted wind will kick up. The rain might also present a bit of a problem but honestly I think I’m in pretty good shape.

The wash is thus far handling the water.

It’s just wait and see.

There’s supposed to be more rain tomorrow. Then Sunshine for the rest of the week.

Seems like today is a good day to watch a movie or read a good book.

Posted on

Okay, I’ve Gotta laugh…

The dog is “Mr Fabulous” after his grooming.

The majority of the excess fur he wouldn’t let me brush is gone. I didn’t have him shaved or anything but I did have a lot of the heavier fur clippered off so he looks a lot better and cleaner. He also seems happy about it.

That’s all good. This morning I see in the long range weather report that an actual hurricane has formed off Mexico and the storm track makes it look like Southern California is going to take a direct hit.

This means that within a few days… The dog will of necessity, be a muddy mess. (I haven’t been able to teach him to use people toilets.) Kiss that grooming money goodbye! LOL

A hurricane? Really? I’m conflicted… A CAT 3 or 4 storm might wash a lot of the ills of the cities away but then we’ll have to hear about it for weeks on end.

We’ll also have to hear from the climate change people how this is further proof that we need to destroy ourselves on the altar of reducing carbon emissions.

I ask this question. “We’ve been reducing pollution and carbon emissions for decades and the storms have gotten harsher in that period of time, so maybe we shouldn’t be reducing our carbon emissions?”

I know that logic is so full of holes I could drive several presidential motorcades through them. But I can’t help using the same flawed logic as a lot of the climate change nuts whenever there is an odd weather pattern.

You can’t point to a particular storm or weather event and say “Climate Change”, you have to back your focus out to trends over decades. When you do, you’ll notice that weather is overall a bit less harsh or destructive, but that you still have strong storms that are outliers.

I’ve lived in Southern California long enough to recall other hurricane systems hitting the area. I recall storm systems that lasted weeks as hurricanes rode up the gulf of California. Several of them entered the gulf as CAT2 or 3 then rapidly lost their punch, but the rain the hurricane carried with it was funneled right into San Diego and Los Angeles, then ran up the Central Valley bringing water to the farms we depend on for food.

Sure, a few ill thought out homes fell off cliffsides… whatever!

I have no more sympathy for people In those homes than I do for people in KY & TN who park their trailers next to a river that floods every year. It’s fairly predictable what’s likely to happen so the problem isn’t the storm, or whatever, it’s humans having no common sense!

This storm could present a problem for my neighborhood depending on how much rain we get. The San Bernardino Flood Control District has done a lot of “Work” uphill from us. Part of their “improvement” has been to change the angle of a dirt road they use. Now instead of the mud and debris from a heavy rain running into the wash that runs next to the dirt road as it should, all the mud and debris runs into the road in front of our houses and in some cases into our yards.

If the storm brings a lot of heavy rain suddenly, it could be a problem. I’ll be out there taking pictures because ALL of us on this street are trying to get the county to take responsibility for their screwups. I’m not holding my breath, the layer upon layer of bureaucratic protection on the part of the county is impressive. Photographic or video evidence is useful in driving the point home.

The other half forbade me from talking to the county. I took offense at the way they tried to defend themselves. They kept saying they were following the direction of X, Y, or Z department. When you followed up with any of those departments they claimed their orders came from higher up. None of them however could point to an origination department for the order. Apparently the decision to screw over a bunch of folks appeared on a computer one day and nobody knows how or why.

Needless to say this kind of thing really pisses me off. Someone has to have originated the command to the flood control district and authorized the expenditure. When you look for that person all you find are the authorizations to pay for ongoing work.

I told the country people exactly what I thought…

The county really doesn’t like being told that NAZIS at the Nuremberg trials consistently claimed, “I was only following orders.” Apparently county officials take offense at being compared to NAZIS. I can’t imagine why…

However, from then on the other half wouldn’t even take me to county public hearings. I suppose I was too volatile? Mercurial? Outright Hostile?

I probably should lay in some supplies. Charge the portable stuff and the like just in case, the idiots at Edison can’t keep the power on.

That storm is a CAT 4, moving slowly north. I doubt it will hit California as a CAT 4 because the Pacific cools off pretty fast as you head north. Hurricanes typically need warm water to maintain their strength. I think we’re going to see a lot of wind and rain maybe some thunder and lighting.

If I seem caviler about it, remember that I’ve got a range of fairly high mountains between me and the coast. It’s likely when the storm hits this area, it will expend a lot of energy on the other side of the mountain.

I wonder how LA and San Diego will handle the homeless. The tents will probably be alright, but the cardboard boxes will get soggy and moldy pretty quick. It’ll be interesting to see how LA Mayor Karen Bass deals with the situation or indeed if there’s any plan at all.

In any case, I hope you all have a great weekend and if you’re in Southern California you might want to make sure you’ve got some provisions close at hand if you need them.