Bone In The Throat

So, not to get too detailed, because that would be boring and unnecessary. 

I’ve got a small problem with the RO unit under the sink. No leaking or anything it’s just the unit isn’t producing the proper volume of water.

No problem. I looked at the calendar, and noted that the routine service was only a couple of months off. So I called the service organization starting at 8:00 AM with the intention of scheduling the repair and the routine service at the same time.

It rang & rang but never in the menu prompts did they list hours. Well, maybe they’re busy… I called again at 8:30. Still no answer. 9:00 still no answer. 9:30 finally an answer. The person asked if I could hold. Of course I can. 8 minutes later she came back on the line.

I tell her I’m trying to schedule a repair and since it’s so close let’s do routine service at the same time. 

She spent the next 8 – 10 minutes telling me about a special discount for long time customers where they’d replace the water softener control head I have, with the next newer version that has wifi connectivity and is supposed to use less salt and less water for regeneration.

It’s only 6K to get this new improved system.

“Uh no thank you. I just want the repair and routine service.”

She says, “Please hold.”

Then she wants to know if I have the carbon unit. What? 

She explains further that the carbon unit has a second tank full of carbon as either a pre filter or post filter. I tell her I don’t have a carbon tank.

“Please hold.”

Then she comes back with a date late next week. Great thanks.

Then I’m transferred to the RO unit people. They tell me that they’ll come up 3 days earlier and, “Oh have you heard of our new improved RO unit that takes up less space under your sink. For a limited time this new system is only $1800 and it can be financed through Home Depot!”

“Uh no, I just want to have the unit I have repaired. I have no desire to spent $1800 on a house I’m trying to leave.”

“Well if you’re moving out of state we have dealerships all over the country and in some of Europe and Dubai. Where are you moving? “

“Home to the midwest where the water is filtered through sand and limestone and is pure and tasty without a filtration system. Thank you very much.”

“Okay, we can be there on Tuesday. The repair and yearly service will cost approximately 300.00”

“Great… I’ve got you in my calendar.”

I’m standing there after hanging up the phone and wondering to myself WTF? Why did it take 35 minutes to schedule a repair?

I was also wondering why the price for their new improved RO unit seemed really out of line. Nearly 2K, as it turns out is on the high side but a quick price check says some units are 4K. I’ll tell you what, for that kind of money the RO unit better be dispensing water that’s better than Ponce de León’s fountain of youth.

What the hell happened to placing the call and hearing “Yes Sir, the unit is not leaking is that correct? Great. We’ll be there on Tuesday if anything happens between now and then please call us back to have the repair expedited.”

This shouldn’t have been more than a 10 minute call, if that.

If this is the future…

I’m terrified to make an appointment for car service. I’ll be on the phone for a couple of hours while they try to upsell me a new vehicle when what I want is an oil change. Perhaps if the ashtrays were full I’d consider a new vehicle.

That latter reference will sail right over the younger set.

It used to be kind of an insult. It was a way to point out someone’s frivolous spending. There was a time when some people bought new cars every year.

It was considered bad form and a waste of money. So if someone said, “Look, Andy has a new car. He must’ve filled up the ashtrays in the old car.” They meant it as an insult.

I’m becoming more convinced that the future is not the bright shiny cool life we were promised in The Jetsons.