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Election Day has come and gone…

Well, not actually gone. 

It’s devolved into what appears to be blatant cheating along with the usual allegations of voter fraud.

Due to the mail in voting, it’s going to be weeks until we have a winner declared and even then, the legal wrangling will likely last for months if not years.

So ultimately, even if the Democrats lose… they’ve still won because they’ve managed to cast a pall of illegitimacy over the President. 

Likewise though, if the Democrats win, they’ve cast the same pall over their candidate. This is the lesson of mutually assured destruction.  Apparently, the Democrats didn’t learn the lesson during the cold war. 

The new Democrats and their ultra progressive allies obviously never learned the lesson and quite frankly are behaving more like Communists, Bolsheviks, or flat out NAZIs than I’ve ever witnessed. 

Frankly, I’m so disgusted I can’t think straight. 

I fear for my county, and I fear for our future. Not because of one President, but because of the cultural shift that’s occurring and this (In my opinion) wrong headed thinking of win at any cost.

Historically the win at any cost philosophy has proven itself to extract a very high price.

Even now, people are questioning law, order, government, and anything official. 

Folks are also demonstrating a surprising willingness to tear down and destroy anyone or anything that they disagree with.

This path is littered with war, poverty, crime, and genocide. 

It doesn’t matter if you’re killing people over religion, color, or politics, people still die and xenophobia in various forms kills more than people. xenophobia kills progress and enlightenment, and gaining of knowledge. Ask Galileo about that.

xenophobia: [noun] fear and hatred of strangers or foreigners or of anything that is strange or foreign.

By that definition, anything strange or foreign could loosely be politics, religion, belief,  or custom.

Is this where we’re headed? Are we careening down a path to wanton destruction on both sides?

I find myself asking if I want to deal with this. I’m old, and tired, all I wanted was to quietly retire, go fishing, or hang out with folks my age, in peace.

If I don’t want to deal with this – insanity, what are the alternatives? 

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Can we all agree this is out of hand?

There are scattered reports of businesses and even homeowners boarding up their windows and closing or planning to close on election day and perhaps for days or weeks after. 

Never in my life and thankfully it’s been a long one, have I seen this kind of behavior. I remember antiwar riots during the Vietnam war but nothing like we’re seeing today.

This is a standard election year, this happens every four years and all of us are supposed to get a say in the direction of our nation.

This is supposed to be a respectful process. Let the politicians sling the mud, We The People, are supposed to be better than them. After all, our elders used to say the only thing politicians had in common was their corruption.

Yet that is not what we’re seeing. We’re seeing what amounts to a series of childish temper tantrums played out on the streets of cities around the nation.

Thanks and credit to GettyimagesACTUP, an organization that appeared during the AIDS crisis wasn’t as violent and there were literally thousands of people dying in hospitals around the nation. (I Know… I was there.)

Visiting an AIDS patient was done with full biohazard protection. I’m personally all too familiar with dressing in white disposable “Bunny Suits” with gloves, mask and eye protection. There were some hospitals where the staff was in self contained pressurized suits because physicians had no idea what was killing gay men, but they knew it was contagious and communicable.

ACT UP 1489405375Let me tell you, those were ugly, lonely deaths. ACTUP had plenty of reason to scream, riot, and raise hell.

Those deaths were in fact generally being ignored by the media, and the government, and everyone else. Because they were deaths occurring in a marginalized segment of society. A group of people who could and did have their rights regularly suspended because of the love that dare not speak its name.

Yes, Black Lives Matter, ALL LIVES MATTER.

080213_Westboro_Baptist.jpgDuring the AIDS crisis there wasn’t any separation between black, white, hispanic, or asian gay men.

They were all dying and the gay community, the real gay community, stood up and raised hell. Eventually the gay community was joined by other people who realized that standing up for what was right, outweighed being stigmatized.

And in the midst of that, The Westboro Baptist Church was holding signs outside hospitals, protesting at ACTUP rallies, or protesting funerals, spouting hate filled speech, (as is their right), things like God hates fags, AIDS is God’s retribution, all FAGS burn in hell, better dead than a FAG.

185ay4jt8tqiwjpg.jpgMy Mother and I were even accosted by members of Westboro, going up the steps to a concert hall where one of the Gay Mens Choruses were performing.

My first reaction to these people’s hate filled vitriol was to punch their teeth out of their heads in anger and defense of my dear old mom.

It was she, that stayed my hand. “Son,” she said loudly, “these people, no matter how cruel, misguided, inbred, or stupid, have the right to be assholes where ever they choose. We have to defend their right to be morons or risk losing our rights too.”

Westboro-Baptist-Church-protests.jpgWe enjoyed the concert.

What the hell happened to that philosophy? How is it that in 30 years we’ve gone from understanding people have the right to their opinions, (no matter how contrary to our own,) to a culture where people who don’t agree with you must be silenced unequivocally?westboro.jpg

While looking up Westboro, I honestly didn’t know if they were still around since Fred Phelps died. I noticed that not only are their current signs still largely about FAGS but a lot of their signs now relfect a general hatred of America. They also seem to hate Trump which begs the question of why, or if, they’re not naturally aligned with ANTIFA or the radical Islamic elements.

They don’t like Jews, and many of their signs appear to be thankful of the maiming and killing of American soldiers.

It’s likely they’re not going to be aligned with BLM since they may just be flat out racists too, perhaps the racist thing is the reason they’re not marching with Islamic terrorists.

I find it interesting that they are not censored in searches, their hatred is on full display with no content warnings. At  the same time conservative and GOP voices while far less hateful are being censored.

I guess this means that there are acceptable kinds of hatred, or hate speech. 

Today, membership in ACTUP means you are by definition apparently against Trump. There was a time when politically ACTUP was against anybody that refused to take action in the AIDS crisis. The organization was fairly nonpartisan. Now it seems that they’re firmly Democrat.

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There’d been something nagging at the back of my mind…

The ExpanseIt was one of those little things, a thought not quite remembered. But it was somehow important, something that could potentially help me, if I could only remember it.

It’s been bugging me for weeks.  Not that I thought it was the end all be all, but something that could help me surf these all too strange waters we find ourselves in.

It was philosophical, intriguing, and dead on.

Not only could I not remember the thought, I couldn’t remember its source. That meant I had no starting point until I remembered something the Marines call “The Suck”

Once I had that starting point I kept pulling threads until I found what I was looking for.

Don’t get me wrong, The Marines are 100% right about The Suck, we’re clearly in some serious suck. Thank God for The Marines. They have a way of expressing things that is awesome.

What I was looking for was something else that was more apt to our current circumstances and the way I was feeling in particular.

I finally found what I’d been trying to remember.

It’s from “The Expanse”

One of the characters is having a conversation with a spy. The spy is kind of slippery but he’s never encountered up close and personal someone like Amos.

The exchange is as follows:

Kenzo: It must be nice, having everything figured out like that.

Amos: Ain’t nothing to do with me: we’re just caught in the Churn, that’s all.

Kenzo: I have no idea what you just said.

Amos: This boss I used to work for in Baltimore, he called it the Churn. When the rules of the game change.

Kenzo: What game?

Amos: The only game. Survival. When the jungle tears itself down and builds itself into something new. Guys like you and me, we end up dead. Doesn’t really mean anything. Or, if we happen to live through it, well that doesn’t mean anything either.

We’re in The Churn.

Amos Bearded The ExpanseThe rules are changing, it’s beyond our control. The only option is to survive… or not. Either way it doesn’t mean anything, except to us as individuals.

Individually we may be lucky or not, but in the grand scheme of things, our presence really doesn’t matter.

The best we can do is surf the churn, allowing our survival instincts to dictate our choices.

The thing is, nothing will ever be the same again because our jungle is tearing itself apart. We can’t predict what the new configuration will be. We’ll only know when it’s done.

I’m pretty rule based. I can exist, even happily, in chaos but only by recognizing that I’m in a chaotic situation. I’ve been laboring under the assumption that the chaos we’ve been in was transient and things would return to normal next month, the month after, maybe the one after.

But that is a lie. It’s a lie we’re being told to keep us complacent and prevent us from fully engaging in The Churn. The effect is that all of us are attempting to live in some shared delusion that this will all come to an end and our lives will be returned to us, based on some external force.

If in fact there is a “New Normal”, a new jungle, then we all have to go all in. We need to stop nibbling on the barrel and accept it. If that means rejecting all the laws that have previously bound us, so be it.

We’ve all pretty much come to the conclusion that COVID while real, isn’t the killer, set your hair on fire and run in tight circles, that we’ve been told it is. But still people are obeying arbitrary and capricious laws, & made up regulations.

We’ve all seen live, that rioting is becoming more common over the slightest of perceived infractions. As the police departments are defunded they will be less and less able to provide the protections that they were established to provide. Leaving average people to fend for themselves.

While at the same time witnessing harassment of average people on the streets just trying to go about their lives. We’ve seen that protecting ourselves results in imprisonment while our politicians are telling us that they’re releasing career criminals due to concerns over COVID.

Rampant and obvious corruption is visible and yet the talking heads charged with providing timely and accurate information, are doing their absolute best to look the other way.

We know that at least one candidate to our highest office is unfit for the job and clearly ill. We’re living in a barely suppressed anarchy. Regardless of a vaccine, regardless of the election, regardless of changes to the police forces. This will not stop. We’ll never get to the old normal again. The only reason the anarchy is suppressed at all is because we’re all waiting for something to magically fix it.

Waiting for magic, is waiting for a train that ain’t coming.

We must recognize that the only way through this is full speed ahead and embrace the Anarchy. Someone screws with you while you’re minding your own business, punch their lights out, or punch their ticket to where ever they’re bound for. For good measure rob ‘em. It doesn’t matter anymore. Who’re they gonna call? You were strong enough to take their shit, it’s yours. If they die well they aren’t going to be needing it anyway.

We’re all predators, the only reason we don’t kill each other more regularly is because we’re generally law abiding and mostly polite. That doesn’t seem to be working for us anymore.

In The Churn it’s better to be the top predator than prey. That’s the law of the jungle and apparently it’s the current law in places like Chicago, Seattle, Portland, LA, Minneapolis, New York, and Pittsburgh, these days.

If the whole country is gonna be like these cities then fine. I may not make it, but I’m not going alone. Simultaneously, don’t expect to arrest me for doing what every other predator is doing.

It’s time to embrace it, time to let all that rage and predatory instinct out. Time to decide what do we really want. I’d be happy with law and order.

But I will not accept that I have to obey laws that are stupid or pointless while others are immune to those same laws.

If it’s to be no law, okay then, let’s all go back to the jungle en mass. When the blood and destruction reaches some critical point…

Then I’d imagine a new jungle will have been created, and the survivors will beg for law, order, and justice again.

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Happy Halloween!

Hunters moonAlthough this year has been a bit like we’re living in some bizarre cross between 1984 and 28 Days or The Andromeda Strain. Here we are once again at the time of the fall festival.

This Halloween won’t be spared the insanity of 2020 but I hope everyone finds some way to enjoy it.

In this house, we’re all about the scary movies. (Or just watching the news…) On the plus side, watching movies you don’t have to worry about flubbed lines and the edits are a lot cleaner.

Just a few days from now, we’ll be watching the election and hopefully that won’t be a horror show. As I write this, I can’t help but feel it’s whistling in the dark while walking past a graveyard.

Have a great Halloween.

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Grrrr. Some People & Their Cell Phones!

Speakerphone cellWe’ve all seen them.

People wandering around having conversations on speaker phone assaulting everyone around them with both sides of the call. The person you can see screaming into the little device and the person you can’t see blaring their responses in a overly loud tinny little voice back. Then the offensive person gives you a dirty look and cranks the volume even higher when you raise your voice to place your coffee order. As if you’re the one being rude because you’re interfering with their conversation.

One of these days Alice… Pow! Zoom! Right to the Moon!

Or I’ll just slap the phone out of their hand and stomp it into the ground. Probably to applause from everyone else!

That’s annoying as hell in a public setting & oddly seems to be something that happens a lot on the lower rungs of the socioeconomic spectrum. Although my next door neighbor likes to sit on her patio having similar conversations. In her defense, I think she’s actually doing other things and is legitimately using the hands free speaker phone option because she’s got her hands full.

dnd iphone.pngBut there’s another class of folks that can be just as annoying.

They’re the people you sleep with every night, or the people that you may sleep with occasionally.

These folks don’t seem to understand that there’s a nifty little function called do not disturb on their phone. They also don’t seem to understand that some of us can’t sleep with their phones lighting up every 5 minutes. After all who can sleep with a disco ball flashing in their bedroom?

I’m one of those people that often has a hard time sleeping.

As long as it’s dark, and quiet I can stay asleep, but any state change in the local environment will wake me up. The refrigerator changing it’s normal rhythm is often enough to wake me. The power going off in the middle of the night will wake me because of the sudden silence. Even things like the A/C or heater switching on at more irregular intervals than “normal” will wake me.

So you can imagine what it’s like for me if there’s someone obsessively checking their phone for a message or reading new emails. It probably doesn’t help that I’ve got great night vision and can see well in nothing more than starlight.

It’s because of this that I am appreciative of DND and more so of the “Bedtime” settings on my phone. After about 10:30 my phone goes into DND automatically. By 11:00 my phone is in bedtime mode (so is my nifty watch). This means that no lights, whistles, or bells are flashing through the night. Unless you’re on a very short list of people, you’re not going to be able to reach me until morning, after all that’s why God made voice mail! Hell, my phone doesn’t come out of DND until after 7:30 am. I prefer to have my morning coffee in peace, thank you very much!

Sleep Schedule.pngI hit the DND button at dinner, before a Doctors appointment, during meetings, massages, or even drinks with friends (back when we actually had dinners or drinks with friends).

Now imagine me laying in bed asleep with a person next to me who refuses to activate these features.

The light from the phone penetrates my eyelids, and I’m awake. I open my eyes to see if there’s something going on. Nope, their phone is sitting on the nightstand but illuminating the walls & ceiling. Okay, I close my eyes again and go back to sleep.

This cycle is repeated 20 or 30 times (due to notifications, email, occasional text messages, etc.) each night. Add in almost incessant snoring, mumbling in their sleep, trips to the bathroom, and it shouldn’t be any wonder that I generally liked living alone in a tiny little apartment. Even though some of the neighbors were completely out of their damn minds and their personal issues sometimes robbed me of a decent night’s sleep.

As an aside, since moving back to my house I’ve lost about three hours of solid deep sleep a night. It’s not uncommon for me to be sleeping on the couch or floor in another room.

However there’s another factor in this that you may not have considered. Those times when the other person is actively checking their mail, messages, or notifications. They’ll be laying there reading things, and because the phone is like a damn searchlight in my face I’m awake and reading their phone too.

Then I get in trouble because I know stuff that I wasn’t supposed to know. I get accused of going through their private messages. I don’t… That would imply that I care. Nope, I’m just reading what’s on their display over their shoulder because they’ve woke me.

I guess there are those who might think I should politely not read the information but here’s the thing. You know that I’m going to wake up, if you really wanted privacy, you’d get up and go elsewhere to read rather than shining it in my face.

All this is to say; use the features on your phone!

On the iPhone just open the conveniently located control center and tap the little half moon. That will turn on “Do Not Disturb”. If you’re using a later version of iPhone that has the bedtime reminders, set it up. You can even schedule automatic DND between certain hours.  Another helpful thing that used to work, is that just putting your iPhone face down would silence it and even if it doesn’t completely silence it, at least the phone won’t be lighting up the whole room.

I can tell you, it will be appreciated by your other half or just your guest for the night…