30 Years

I’ve been a little blue the past few days. I’m not sure why that is.

On the other hand God knows there’s a lot that I could be blue about. Almost all the news is bad. I find myself waiting for the next new atrocity to come out of some country or our own government.

Yesterday was particularly tough. I wasn’t sure why, but the day seemed just harder than usual. To be fair, the day started out with a glorious sunrise. The smell of fresh brewed coffee wafted from the kitchen. The dog sniffing my face asking, “Are you awake yet?”

I scanned the headlines, pausing to read one of the many articles about the new preponderance of IRS agents. I smiled thinking about my Dad he’d be having a shit fit about it.

Dad really didn’t like the IRS, and apparently the feeling was mutual.

Then it hit me. It was the 30th anniversary of my Dad’s death.

Whoa! I thought I was doing the math wrong. I wasn’t.

I hadn’t really been paying attention to the number of years that had passed, but I wonder if some part of me was acknowledging the anniversary without bringing it to my conscious mind.

30 years ago, by this date it had been a rough couple of months. Little did I know at the time, but things were going to get a lot rougher before some semblance of “normal” would return.

In that moment 30 years ago, I had only what was immediately in front of me. A family that I barely knew telling me how they thought I should do things.

My younger Brother, (who was old enough to carry a gun in the DMZ in Korea and later Desert Storm, but couldn’t buy a beer,) who I was trying to protect at least from the most egregious of the “Helpful” suggestions? Commands? Demands?

My Dad had been through some rough times in the last few years of his life, he was trying to stand up a business doing something that he seemed to love. He’d left the state he grew up in, and moved in with his mother in her home state. I think his plan was to jump start the business and then purchase his own home in a, sort of charming, small town in The South.

I don’t know. He never shared his plans with me. I can say that Dad had reduced his possessions considerably and become a minimalist. Whether that was due to financial need or life choice I also don’t know.

Somewhere along the line, he’d discovered he had cancer and it was too far along for any effective treatment. Perhaps that was part of the drive toward minimalism on his part.

When he died, as the eldest Son, the responsibility for all the “after life” decisions fell to me.

My Brother had been raised by my Dad more so than I. It only seemed right that he should be calling the shots so I gave my Brother as much control as he wanted. I took on the things that were “too much,” given the circumstances, and the role of running interference with the family.

I’d like to think that Dad would have appreciated the arrangement. Especially when he understood my reasoning.

All of this flooded back crashing into my brain. Suddenly, I was reliving it in a way.

I felt terribly alone.

Many times over the past 30 years I’ve wished Dad was around. I’ve wished that I could chat with him, discuss politics, have a drink, go shooting, or get his take on trouble spots in my life. I’d have appreciated his wisdom even if I went my own way. While I wouldn’t have appreciated his knowing grin when going my own way blew up in my face, I’d like to have had the experience.

I suppose I could use a bit of a pep talk from Dad. Over the past 5 years or so, I’ve felt like I’m being kicked and beaten, then kicked again while I’m already on the ground. I’m having a very hard time getting up and wonder, “why bother” often enough that it worries me.

I’m losing the game, and have no more plays. I’m out of clever tricks. Why not just take my ball and go home?

I could really stand to hear, “Son, you’re alright. Rub some dirt on it, walk it off! Get up off your ass, FIGHT! Tear the fucker’s throat out. I’ve got your back.

Encouragement like that would be welcome right about now, just as it was when I was a boy.

Yeah, I’m 60+ but my Dad is still my Dad, and I’m still his Son.

Hmmm… Okay Old Man… Message received. I’m getting up off my ass, give me a minute.

I miss you Dad…

Sigh… Writing and blogging misfires!

It’s been one of those time in my life where I’ll start to write something and then it all just goes to hell.

I’ll write a paragraph, get to the end and think, “Where was I going with this?”

Oh I’ll push on hoping that everything resolves itself in the end, but it doesn’t.

Things just get worse. Then I’ll go back an re-read what I’ve written and think, “This is really not worthy of me.”

The blessed [DELETE] key is pressed and my computer dutifully asks me if I’m sure.

“Of Course I’m sure! Have you read this drivel?” I say outloud to the computer.

The computer responds, “Not my Table!”

The offending document is hurled into the bit-bucket and I try again.

I suppose all writers have times like these.

I’m just tired of feeling like somehow I’ve dropped 50 points on the IQ scale.

On the plus side, if my IQ is dropping maybe soon it will drop to a point where I don’t know how stupid I am?

I don’t know if ignorance is bliss, but the way things are going I may soon find out.


I moved on from being unable to write. To reading something from a gentleman whose writing I always find informative and educational.

The piece is called:

My Gratitude For the Apologies and Sincere Expressions of Regret

As most of you know, I love a good bit of sarcasm

The author is Thomas Harrington. Here is his short Bio

Thomas Harrington, Senior Scholar at the Brownstone Institute, is an essayist and Professor Emeritus of Hispanic Studies at Trinity College in Hartford (USA) where he taught for 24 years. He specializes in Iberian movements of national identity Contemporary Catalan culture. His writings are at Thomassharrington.com.

Professor Harrington’s piece might not make sense to you if you are unaware of the CDC’s recent reversal of position on COVID.

For your convenience, here is another piece from Brownstone Institute. Within the piece is a link to the actual CDC report. The article itself does a good job distilling the salient points.

The Democrat Party has shit the bed!

After the Mar a Largo raid, (discounting all the Democrat mouthpieces,) it looks like even moderate Democrats are rethinking their party affiliation.

There have been articles scattered around the media talking about Democrats bailing to the Republican side of the party divide for months. On Tuesday, I read one from Philadelphia where a life long Democrat said she could no longer support the party.

Her comment was telling, “The Party left me…”

I felt the same way about the Republican Party several years ago. I truly understand what she’s feeling and how strangely disconnected she feels.

For me leaving the Republican Party, the party of my Father, was difficult. The Democrat Party was equally unappealing. They claimed to be two sides of the coin but as I read and observed their stated positions versus their behavior they weren’t at the time all that different from each other.

So I found a party that at least on the surface appeared to hold beliefs in common with my own. Registering with them ensured that I’d be voting in primaries.

For better or worse, I stand by that decision.


I mentioned to my brother the other day that for the first time in my life I really feared for our Republic…


Yes, boys and girls… We live in a Constitutional Republic.

In this age of almost total functional illiteracy the difference is almost always lost or obfuscated. When politicians are screaming about a threat to our Democracy, they’re talking through their hat. We don’t actually live in a Democracy so there’s nothing to fear losing.

Politicians saying that we have to protect our Democracy are either lying or incompetent. Either way they don’t deserve to be in office.

DEMOCRACY REPUBLIC
Ruled by a majority that enjoys unlimited power. Minority groups have no protection. Follows a written Constitution that protects the rights of the minority from being infringed upon by the majority.
Individuals can make their own decisions except in those situations that the majority has limited. Generally, individuals can make their own decisions, especially in situations where the Constitution protects their “unalienable rights.”
While all citizens supposedly have a say in government and are to be treated as equals, the majority often ends up tyrannically ruling the minority. Generally, all citizens are supposed to have an equal say and be treated equally, especially as protected under the Constitution.
The United States is commonly confused for a democracy. However, the will of the people should not, and does not, change the rules that limit the government’s power. Article 4, Section 4 defines the United States as a Republic.
Freedom of religion is permitted to the extent that the majority does not limit religious freedom for the minority. Generally, religious freedom is permitted, especially as protected under the Constitution
Private property is permitted, though the majority may place limits on the property rights of the minority. Generally, private property is permitted, especially as protected under the Constitution.
Great Thanks to Legaldictionary.net

I’m an ignorant Redneck with a diploma from a fly-over state. But, I can read! I also know that any words I don’t understand are defined in a dictionary somewhere and how to look up those words.


…My Brother agreed. He’s more of the history buff in the family and is much better versed in law as a former LEO.

He was raised in a different household than I, and attended school in a completely different State. However, he wasn’t surprised that I knew the difference between a Constitutional Republic and a straight Democracy.

Reading in our family is very important.


His reply was people demanding “Democracy” wouldn’t be happy if they got it. The table above from legaldictionary.net provides insight into why that would be.

In fact the whole article linked above is a short but interesting read. I recommend it.

The behavior of the Current Administration and their minions in Congress have frankly scared the hell out of me. Apparently this is true of a lot of other Americans.

Now that moderate Democrats are also waking up to the threat, the question is what will be done about it.

We’ve seen multiple examples of Two Tiered Justice. Examples of actions that look a lot more like a police state than a country governed by laws equally applied to everyone. We’ve seen what ungoverned “Majority Rule” looks like when mobs of people don’t like something.

And all the while we’ve heard Politicians and Media making excuses about why this ungoverned majority should get a pass and the other ungoverned majority shouldn’t.

It’s possible large swaths of the American people are functionally illiterate and perhaps didn’t attend civics or government classes. That does not mean that they can’t see where unequal justice is leading.

It doesn’t take a rocket scientist.

At the most absurd of extremities Democracy without constitutional limitations evolves into tyranny & tribalism. If the majority in one area chooses to ostracize minority members of that area. Then the minority members will leave the area in search of others where they will be a majority.

The likely outcome is city-states, potentially governed by tyrannical leaders.

What happens then, we can observe through the lens of historical fact. Or just through the lens of our Televisions because it’s happening today in various places around the world.

Divisions over race, religion and politics, leading to conflict and suffering. My description is simplistic and does not address all the nuance but Israel & Palestine? Russia & Ukraine? South Africa? Massacres of Christians in Muslim countries? Massacres of Muslims in Buddhist countries? No-Go Zones in Sweden or Paris?

Ringing any bells?

Absolutely no American should be willing to give up our Constitutional Republic in favor of simple Democracy.

Every American should be screaming at the top of their lungs at Congress to return to the fundamentals of our Constitution and the protection against tyranny it insures.

Simply put. If one group is treated differently, then no group is safe.

The first step is to dismiss from their post, anyone in Congress who refers to our Government as a Democracy. Those calling the United States a Democracy clearly don’t get it.

Or maybe they do get it, and hope you won’t.


Regardless, the Democratic Party has shit the bed.

They’ve made a lot more people ask WTF? That may lead to Democratic voters voting against their party candidates in November even if the voters don’t change Party.

Can we please cancel Ezra Miller?

It’s not like he was all that good in Justice League

I may be a bit biased because even as a little boy I didn’t like The Flash.

I don’t think I’ve seen anything else that Miller has appeared in. If I have, since I don’t recall Miller, his roles must not have been all that large or his acting compelling enough for me to remember him.

There are some actors, who make an impression on the screen even in minor roles. These are the folks you watch during the movie, then you watch the end credits for the actor’s name, then you IMDB their name to find out what else they’ve been in.

After that, you rent the other movies to see if their acting holds up. If they turn in compelling performances in other things, you’ll keep an eye out for them and spend your money to see them.

Jason Mamoa, for example. I liked him way back in Stargate Atlantis. I know there are people who don’t care for him, but I’m expressing my opinion.

I wasn’t sure that he’d be able to pull off Aquaman. Lets face it, Aquaman was always a generic Lilly white, blond, blue eyed dude. I remember thinking… Mamoa as Aquaman????

Now I can’t think of any version of Aquaman except Mamoa.

His portrayal is wonderful and he’s brought a humanity to Aquaman that has enriched the character for me personally. Aquaman in the comics always felt arrogant and elitist. He wasn’t really all that likable.

Mamoa’s rendition is generally humble with a touch of arrogance. He’s got a sense of humor and playfulness.

I really like the Polynesian cultural elements. They make so much sense in context of the character. Who better to protect the sea, than someone with a deep cultural connection to it?

I was honestly hoping for something better, more interesting, for The Flash. Instead what we got in Justice League was a neurotic selfish child. I suppose we got too much of Ezra Miller’s real personality translated into the character.

Given all the negative publicity and reporting surrounding Ezra Miller. I’m honestly hoping that the folks controlling the DC movie franchise just flush The Flash entirely.

Ezra Miller is largely forgettable and perhaps should be forgotten.

There are a lot of other super interesting characters in the DC universe. Perhaps we’d be better off with one of them stepping into the spotlight.

I had this weird dream last night…

I guess the dream was brought about by a conversation I had with my Sister. She’d mentioned that my Niece (her Daughter) was very Pro Green Energy and extremely left leaning.

My Nice is no dummy, but she is in college, I suppose I can forgive her for being leftist. I hope she grows out of it.

I’d asked my Sister how my niece justified being so Pro Green given that she’s amazing at math.

My Sister missed my meaning.

I explained that the current total energy output from “renewable” sources provides less than 20% of the current energy we use in America. That number includes Nuclear power. Some say Nuclear isn’t green, but for the sake of argument let’s include it in the discussion because it doesn’t emit carbon like those evil coal and oil burning power plants.

My Sister said my numbers must be wrong. I sent her the following chart from the Government.

My Sister rightly pointed out that the chart speaks of energy consumption, not specifically how much is generated by each source. She’s right! I countered with you can only consume what is available and cannot pick and choose what source the energy comes from.

She considered my point and grudgingly agreed.

I went on to say that we could shut down all of the coal, oil, natural gas power plants. My Sister said that’s exactly what my niece was in favor of.

Because I’m the uncle that likes to stir up trouble I suggested my sister tell my niece that I was in favor of using only green energy. My Sister knows me well enough to ask, “Buuuutttt???”

I continued, “Tell her I’m just not sure how to manage cutting my energy consumption by 80%. Do I turn off my cellphone when I’m not using it? Should I turn off the internet and my computer 80% of the time? Do I not listen to anything but live music? Do I go to bed at sundown? Turn off the air-conditioning and heat? I suggested my Niece send me the specifications on the solar panels she’s using because they must be more efficient than mine.”

My Sister laughed, “You’re so evil! I’ll ask her… Probably at dinner.” My sis also commented that my Niece had invested in a new iPhone but that she did so because her old iPhone wasn’t holding a charge anymore.

My sis said, “I wish I’d thought about the solar panel angle. That’s why you should live here! You’d have suggested she buy an external battery and solar panel to carry with her instead of buying a new phone.”

I chuckled at the thought. My Niece would have taken a very dim view of the suggestion because it wouldn’t have been convenient.

Full disclosure… My Sister likes to rattle people’s cages too.

I suppose I was still chewing over the conversation when I went to sleep.


In the dream I was living in a world where 80% of the power had been removed from the grid.

Our leaders touted this as a victory because the entire country was now using 100% renewable energy.

It was a true statement. Ignoring that the 80% we weren’t using, shut down many aspects of the country. Shipping, Manufacturing, Hospitals, etc.

In the dream, I was scheduling my day to empty the water collected in my refrigerator and wishing I’d opted for the drain tubes to send the ice melt to the plants. I had to carry the water not saved for drinking down stairs in a bucket to the yard.

I was annoyed because my solar panels had the capacity to power my refrigerator. In fact the panels could power all the electrical devices in my home during the daylight hours.

A state mandate had come out saying that in the interest of “Community Good”, all of our houses had to be connected together so that those less fortunate without solar power, could benefit from those of us with solar panels.

This resulted in my house having few operable electronic devices, and my refrigerator being nothing more than an old style Ice Box. The upper shelves now contained blocks of ice.

The melt water, I hand pumped through the reverse osmosis system for drinking and cooking, the waste water from that process was carried in a bucket down to water the plants.

But the ice blocks were free. They were delivered every 2 days courtesy of the state.

While my lighting was generally candles and occasionally an LED lamp, the local State representative enjoyed air-conditioning, an electric vehicle, and a real refrigerator. Their holiday season lights were spectacular.

We were told this was because of the importance of the work and the burden of responsibility the local State representative shouldered.

For my part, I was anticipating being able to fire up my internet for an hour or two. By using my portable solar panel, the battery pack was finally charged.

It took two days of moving the panel around in the sun to get the pack and my computer charged. I hoped to be able to catch up on the national news and if I was lucky, I could possibly watch a show on the computer before it and the power pack died.

Unfortunately, some of my power would have to be spent logging onto the state taxation website to pay my monthly taxes. I hoped the state site would work properly this month because I was already carrying late charges from last month.

The State didn’t accept that their site was broken, or completely down, as an excuse for not paying your monthly tax. After all, “The law was The Law.”

I’d probably be okay though because it had been a very sunny month. The offset and efficiency of my solar panels was in the upper 1% of the producers in my community, so I had credit to declare and both tax months would be covered.

Every household had a single electrical socket that worked. The socket was only powered during the daylight hours.

It was a nice socket, provided by the State and wired to my Solar panels by State Technicians. The socket provided a single A/C current outlet, there were four USB ports that allowed for charging of cell phones and tablets. Usually, the A/C socket couldn’t power the coffee pot until around noon.

While I was filling the toilet tanks with some of the waste ice water, there was a knock at the door.

When I answered it. On my front porch there were several armed workmen. They presented me with a “Reallocation Order”.

The order said that 3 of my solar panels were to be removed and taken to another less fortunate person’s home. It had been determined that my offset and energy production was inequitable to the rest of the community.

Looking toward the State representative’s house, I could see workmen on his roof installing rails, cabling, and standoffs, all necessaryto accommodate additional panels…


A car alarm sounded somewhere in the neighborhood waking me up.

It was 3am. A cool breeze was blowing through the front windows of the house. Shaking my head to dispel the dream? Nightmare? I got up and peed. Realizing I wasn’t going to be able to sleep for a while, I put some ice in a glass and poured myself a stiff bourbon.

I hate having dystopian dreams! They make me cranky the next day.

The next time I’m talking to my Sister, I’m going to suggest that she and my Niece watch the movie Brazil. If I recall correctly, there was some interesting retrofitting of devices.