Category: Sarcasm

Dogs…

Let me tell you a story. I’m out walking my dog on his “retracto” leash and we’re having a really good walk.

Up ahead, I see a human. The human is maybe 1/4 of a mile away, and I can see that the human is facing me due to the reflection of light on its face. I can’t tell at this distance if the human is Male or Female because they’re moving in and out of shadows cast by the trees along the trail.

Suspecting they may have a dog, and wishing to avoid my dog attempting to drag me at top speed toward the human at the very least and the potential dog, I choose another path. The new trail intersects the trail I’m on, at approximately where the human walking toward me, is at this moment.

My dog hasn’t noticed the human at this point, so I count myself lucky and think that we humans will pass well out of reach of each other. Potential dog entanglements will also be avoided.

Jesse and I continue on and he’s having a blast sniffing along the trail that we don’t usually take.

Rounding the last bend, guess what?

The human is still there. Yep they haven’t moved, and goodie! They have a full blooded husky about Jesse’s size and age who is off leash, and slowly approaching from the concealment of a thicket.

So now we have one dog on leash, and one off leash, Jesse wants to go sniff and do all the dog things, but I don’t know this dog. Will the dog be aggressive? Are we trespassing in territory that this dog considered his? How will Jesse react?

Oh and let’s not forget that part of this walking regimen for me is rehabilitation on my knees which have both been troublesome for 2 years. It’s only been in the last year that I’ve been able to really walk any distance without pain.

So I’m trying to hold Jesse back and the other dog is advancing. Jesse has his ears laid back but is still slowly wagging his tail. (Mixed Signals!)

Then things advance, now there is jumping and circling, I’m being dragged over uneven terrain, and trying to keep from becoming entangled in the leash. I hear growling beginning.

At this point the other human moseys on over to regain control of their dog.

“He’s just wanting to play,”

I have fire in my left knee. And I have .8 miles going uphill to get home. Truthfully going uphill is easier than going downhill.

Walking home, Jesse is very sweet he’s not rushing, or dragging me. He knows something is wrong with daddy’s knee.

He’s been checking on me since we got home. I’ve got the ice pack on my knee. I’m using it without the usual fabric cover because I don’t want to put a pair of shorts on. This way my sweat pants are taking the place of the cover. That’s the good news, the bad news is that I have nothing to keep it in place.

I digress…

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All of the above brings me to the differences between my generation and this most current crop of “adults”.

We were taught to fucking think!

Let’s evaluate the situation shall we?

Had a Boomer been the Human approaching us on the main trail, they would have continued walking because they’d have accepted, for reasons known only to me, that I was trying to avoid them. They wouldn’t have taken it personally. The assumption would have been that I perhaps know my dog, and my physical condition better than they do, and that would have been fine.

A Boomer upon realizing that my dog was on a leash would have perhaps thought, “Maybe His dog is aggressive, Perhaps his dog isn’t off leash trained.” Either way another Boomer would have put their fucking dog on a leash, you know, the one they were carrying. Just to avoid any potential injury to either dog or humans.

Another Boomer would have thought, “If our dogs try to get to know each other, that guy is going to be fighting to not get tangled up.” And they’d have put their dog on the fucking leash in their hand.

Another Boomer seeing the obvious white beard on my face would have thought, “ You know, that guy looks a tad older, maybe it’s not going to be good for him to be at the heart of dog play or a dog fight.” Another Boomer would have put their dog on the leash as a simple courtesy.

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But the other human approaching Jesse & I, was not a “Boomer”.

He was a young adult in his late 20s or early 30s and therefore completely bereft of the ability to think ahead, courtesy, or common sense.

I know youngsters think Courtesy and Common Sense are antiquated notions.

I would instruct all you children thusly.

Courtesy is an outgrowth of conflict avoidance.

If one is courteous then typically there is no conflict. If there is no conflict, then one or more people do not end up with broadswords sticking out of their chests. Barmaids are also happier because getting bloodstains out of rough hewn wooden floors is a real bitch of a job.

Courtesy goes further though.

Courtesy is an acknowledgment that no one can know all the factors at play in any encounter with another person.
Did that person have a fight with their spouse?
Did that person just get out of surgery?
Is that person grieving a loss?
Is the person trying to rebuild strength after an injury?
Does that other person have health insurance?
If they’re injured out in this rural area will paramedics be able to get to them?
What happens in the case of the unexpected?
Is the person prone to heart attacks?

These are just a few of the potential issues.

Being courteous allows you to avoid these and many other possibilities and allows you to absolve yourself of all responsibility for what happens next, to the person your’e being courteous to.

If you’re a young person who wants no responsibility…

Being courteous allows you to turn your back leave with your dog on a leash, and ignore the “Thud” you hear from behind and never look back. After all you were courteous and whatever that noise was… It’s none of your business.

See courtesy can be fun!

Just as an aside, I may have the underpinnings for courtesy all wrong, but thinking of courteous behavior this way has allowed me to implement courtesy in my daily life rather than beat or insult the living shit out of every dumbass I’ve encountered.

It’s kept me from saying things like;

“Does your whole family have the same intelligence level as you? It does? Wow, there’s a family tree that needs to be chopped down!”

“You’re a load your daddy should have jacked down the toilet, oh wait, right… your mother is a cum dump of a toilet!”

“You’re in favor of abortion? So am I… Retroactive Abortion! Here, let me put this plastic bag over your head. Now breathe deep, it will all be over soon! It’s for the planet, there, there, sleep.”

These are just a few of the things that go through my mind dealing with people. Without courtesy, imagine all the sad little snowflakes I’d have traumatized through the years.

Courtesy is a mobile safe space, it’s like a vaccine that protects us all…