Category: Pets

I was listening to the other half conversing with the dog.

It’s not weird, I do it myself.

The dog is a husky mix, so he talks back. 

In this particular situation, today the dog has been like a 2 year old. He’s bringing things in from the yard or from around the house to “Show” us. Some of these things have been absolute no no’s. A sock, a pair of underwear, a shoe, in these cases rather than taking the item aways from him because that makes him think we’re wanting to play “keep away” we’ll “Trade” something of greater value to him. Since everything revolves around his stomach, a healthy carrot or a dog vitamin will usually resolve the situation. These treats are only given, if he brings us the contested object and drops it at our feet.

The dog is then supposed to sit, and give us a paw.

This may sound like a royal pain in the behind, and sometimes it is. However this is much better for all of us than playing keep away with something that is expensive to replace or worse yet something that could potentially hurt him. For example, the dog didn’t know that pinecones have very sharp little spikes on them when he first came to live here. 

To him, it was an oddly shaped ball and he couldn’t figure out why we were trying to take it away from him. I believe that he thought it was a new game, until he really bit down on the pinecone and I spent the next 30 minutes pulling sharp things out of his mouth and gums.

He now approaches pinecones in a very cautious manner. Thankfully we didn’t have to go to the vet over that incident! Although toward the end both of us were bleeding, He from the scratches in his mouth, and me from the cuts on my hands from his very sharp teeth. 

To be fair, he chomped me reflexively, not out of anger or meanness. I totally understood and kept at it until he was safe. Afterward, he kept licking my hands, while looking at me with a very sad apologetic puppy face.

Call it a bonding moment. Now if he gets a splinter in a paw he’ll bring it to me to look at, and is generally pretty good about letting me pull it out of his paw. Unless it’s in a really sensitive spot and then my even trying to look at it results in my dog suddenly becoming as squirmy as a snake or octopus. I have no idea how he manages to make his bones disappear like that.

The last splinter in a sensitive spot, resulted in a visit to the vet, antibiotics, and the cone of shame for a week and a half.

Speaking to his generally sweet disposition, the cone of shame annoyed him for the first day, then he found a way to turn wearing it into a game. He found a way to wedge the cone of shame into the stair railing and pull it off. This led to great fun when we tried to put it back on him without making it so tight it choked him but also making it tougher for him to slide over his head. (He was pissed for almost a day at me when he realized I’d tied it to his collar after him pulling the cone off several times a day.)

He could easily slip out of the collar, or the cone, but with the cone tie string through the collar he couldn’t pull the cone off without pulling the collar off too. He’s very attached to his collar and is very nervous if it’s removed even for a few minutes. I found him laying on the deck looking at his collar very forlornly as the cone and the collar lay next to him. I set things to right, and he stomped off to his room. (Seeing a dog stomp off in anger is pretty darn funny.)

He’d take our knees out with the dang thing, then use it as a noisemaker dragging it down the rails of the stairs, he also realized it worked as a megaphone and allowed his bark to be amplified, while at the same time it allowed him to hear dogs barking about things a mile or more away.

Today’s conversation with the dog started with the other half saying;

“No you’re not going to get another treat.“

The dog replied;

“Aww whoo whoo aww“

The other half responded;

“You brought me the ball, made me stop what I was doing and then only brought the ball back once. That is not deserving of a treat. You need to earn it.“

The dog replied;

“Aww awww whoo!” Then threw himself down on the floor effectively blocking access from the living room to the back of the house.

(Yes, the dog is spoiled! And a bit of a drama queen.)

I’m in the office looking for a job, snickering.

5 minutes go by and I hear the distinctive prance of the dog coming through the living room and down the hall to the office. A ball is dropped at my feet. The dog is looking at me expectantly. I pick the ball up. While walking toward the living room, my other half says, “He went out, got the ball, then pranced right past me with a fuck you look.”

The dog and I go outside to play catch and fetch, our play includes me “Sneaking” up on him while he’s chewing on the ball semi protectively. I’ll tickle his tummy as a distraction then snatch the ball and toss it.

We play like this until his tongue is hanging out and he needs a drink.

I’ll often tell him, “Go get a drink,” he’ll go inside and get a drink, then we’ll keep playing when he comes back outside.

Today, he dropped the ball and walked inside for a drink on his own. I came back inside and the dog is sitting waiting for his cookie.

“Awww oooo,” he says watching me come inside.

I toss the cookie into the air, the dog snatches it and prances by the other half without a glance.

After we finished laughing, I said, “You know, we make more demands of him, than some parents make of their children.”

Thinking about it, now that the dog is snoozing in his favorite spot. That’s a true statement.

We tend to make him earn his treats with good behavior. He’s supposed to follow instructions, (We’re still working on that.) He’s good about letting us know something is wrong. He barks at anyone who comes to our door or the door of the neighbors house. (This door he can see from the deck and he’s often got a watchful eye toward these ladies home.) I think he barks to let their Chihuahua know something is up. The Chihuahua is an older lady and sometimes she doesn’t hear people coming up the walk to the house.

Luckily, the ladies living next door appreciate that he’s looking out for them. If the dog sees an unknown male he’s down at the fence giving them what for until the ladies tell him all is well.

Like our previous dogs, this one has different barks for different things, and the neighbors know if he’s barking about something, it’s likely to be something of concern.

The thing is, we’re very consistent about our expectations. We correct him when he’s misbehaving. We reward him for a job well done. We cuddle him when he’s scared, upset, or hurt, and let his personality develop as is right for him.

Apparently, as of today he has a cookie allowance. I’ll have to ask what the exchange rate is. 5 ball chases and returns for 1 cookie? I guess we’ll have to discuss that tonight.

As I was thinking about all of this, I wondered if we have higher standards for the dog than some people have of their children.

You never want a dog out of control. They can be very dangerous. Yet, children out of control can be a lot more dangerous. We tend to think of taking action to protect children but what about the inverse? Children have opposable thumbs and large brains. They’re more adept at problem solving than dogs. (There are times when I wonder about our dog on this. He’s fiendishly clever and can be sneaky as hell. All parents know if their children are too quiet they’re up to something. That rule applies to our dog.)

I don’t have to worry about my dog stealing cars. Nor do I have to worry about him painting graffiti on the side of a building. (He does on occasion paint corners of buildings yellow, but it’s not likely to be a pseudo political statement. Although I haven’t seen him around a dog pound…)

Poorly behaved Children on the other hand, well, enough said.

Perhaps we should start treating children more like dogs.

Just a random train of thought…