Category: Technology

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I guess it’s just my lot in life…

As I’ve mentioned elsewhere, I’ve been a technology guy for almost 30 years.

Now I’m unemployed and have been looking for a new job for the better part of 18 months.

Usually I can’t get the time of day from the places that I apply to. Those placement firms that do contact me are often not much more that one step above spammers.

Got a call from one of these guys the other day, He was obviously Indian and his English pronunciation was so poor that I had no idea what he was saying. I finally got him to send me an email with the job description. His written English was only marginally better, which explains why he was trying to match me up with a position that was almost completely NOT anything I can do.

I find myself wondering things like why can’t I get any decent leads.

I’m still working on that one… but I’m beginning to wonder if I’m not paying back some seriously big karmic debt.

Many of the companies that I’ve applied to, I also do occasional business with. This morning I was looking around online for a decent six or seven port USB Hub. 

As I wandered through the myriad websites I kept seeing one defect after another.

These are major, nationally known companies who advertise and sell their products on the web and yet I was seeing things like;

Dead links,

Typos,

Dialog boxes that were blank, (I mean… just a white box with nothing in it.)

Check boxes that appear unchecked yet if you do check them, to narrow your search you actually destroy your search results.

Oh, and these companies… all have either flat out told me that I wasn’t good enough to work for them, or they simply have never responded to my inquiries.

While I many not be good enough to work for them, clearly their existing staff sucks!

Part of the problem is this. 

Feseminar

All of these companies want someone that has long list of software development methodology certifications. To date I’ve worked with virtually every methodology.

However, I’ve never bothered to get certified in any of them, for the following reasons;

1) The certifications are very expensive and often required me to burn my vacation time and pay for the seminar and the hotel & food costs. Often as not just sitting through the seminar got you the certification.

I don’t believe in buying certifications. If that’s what I’m doing… then let me send you the $1000 and you send me the paper with my little name printed on it, and we’re done.  

I think that there should be something a little more structured and some accountability or grading must be built into the system.

Then there’s this thought… I have one miserable week of vacation. Do I spend it at an expensive seminar in a hotel conference room or do I spend that week on a beach somewhere? Let’s think about this for all of a nano-second! If I’m going to spend my vacation time and have to pay for a hotel and transportation… I’m going diving in the Caribbean!

2)  These methodologies are ever changing and in fact I’ve worked for companies where the methodology changed as frequently as the upper management did. It was simply impossible to keep up with the method du jour and as a result, the certifications were pretty much pointless.

3) These methodologies claim in some circles to be a standard. But in point of fact they are really only the framework of a software development philosophy that allows for variable implementation based on the needs, desires, and whims of the corporation where the method is being used. 

The practical upshot of this is that a new employee starts out having to learn how the company has implemented a particular methodology whether they’ve got the certifications or not.

4) I have noticed through the years that regardless of the published “Methodology”, corporate “Procedures”, or even ISO standards all go right out the window when the project is late,  (Every Software Project ends up being LATE). Which means that Agile is pretty much the defacto standard of ALL software development regardless of the corporate sales pitch.

5) I’ve actually been involved in companies where the process was so complex that it actually impeded the development and testing processes. In these companies, I only got 3 hours of work done on software I was testing per day. The other 5 or 6 hours of my day were spent in meetings, explaining what testing was being done and WHY the testing was going so slowly. 

REALLY?

In point of fact it wasn’t the methodology, it was the implementation.

I’ve always thought it was funny how almost anything begins to take on the worst aspects of religion. Christianity, Islam, Judaism, Agile,SCRUM, PC vs. Mac, iPhone vs. Android…

None of them are inherently bad ideas or philosophies but all of them suffer from problems introduced by zealots.

I guess now it’s time for me to pay for some stupid seminar where the badge of honor is that I have a certificate saying I sat through the seminar.

At least I could legitimately say I’m certified in one of these things…  That 30 years of experience is irrelevant but a silly certification in a software development methodology is annoys me beyond belief.

4246303 683742 cocktail a mix of various drinks sometimes alcoholic drinks

I could take my laptop and spend the time writing and half listening. God! The soul crushing boredom  of seminars like this makes me cringe. When I’ve attended these kinds of seminars in the past,  at the end of the day I headed straight for the hotel bar and worked on anesthetizing myself… All the while having to listen to other folks from the seminar gushing about the importance of the words of the presenter… aka The Prophet. 

Meanwhile, I’m looking for the nearest exit and wondering if I can find another convenient bar where I don’t have to listen to a rehash of the day faithfully regurgitated by those who’ve drunk the kool aid.

I suppose it’s jaded cynicism on my part. A large part of my inherent resistance comes from knowing these methods, don’t make me a better tester. It just means that I’m going to be better able to recognize when someone is wasting time in needless meetings.

Which leads me back to Karma…

Am I now paying the price for not drinking the kool aid? Are the errors I’m seeing on web sites the not so subtle reminders that my choice not to play the latest corporate mental masturbation game has left me on the outside?

I still stand 100% by my conviction that as a Software Quality Assurance Analyst, knowledge or lack thereof about these philosophies won’t change the quality of the software.

Actually testing the software will. 

My Karma is to be unable to ignore software defects, and to seemingly bring out defects simply by wanting to use software as a normal user. 

I guess, I was a serious asshole to someone in a previous life. 

Now where was that catalog of obscenely priced seminars????

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It’s been a month since I killed Facebook

Honestly I don’t miss it at all.

I’m finding myself shutting down or simply ignoring other social media sites where I used to be very active.

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I’m not missing those sites either.

What does that say?

That perhaps I prefer the company of real people instead of the infamous “Hi”?

I’ve written about the annoyance of “Hi” elsewhere in this blog.

Perhaps the quality of the conversation isn’t nearly as stimulating over chat, email, instant messages as having to defend my position IN PERSON.

You will notice that I have an iSpQ badge to the left…. Hey, video chat and perhaps even a nasty video chat is still fun! I’m not doing social media but I still like to be an exhibitionist!

Today I closed or severely minimized all the rest of my social media accounts.

I guess I’m just flat out over it.

Talk about a time suck! Then there was the whole bullshit thing about people wanting to meet and be friends. Yeah, RIGHT!!!!

I guess I got sick of being jerked around feeling like I was somehow obligated to answer people that I really don’t know and who despite my best efforts I wasn’t likely to meet.

Perhaps, I’m a little depressed about the fact that I’ve been making a good faith effort to reach out using the tools at hand to make healthy friendships. But in reality… I’ve come to believe that you’re better off planting your ass on a barstool in your local sports bar. Than trying to get anyone to actually meet somewhere… even if the meeting place is a sports bar.

I’ve also noticed that I’m really sensitive to comments made after news articles and I even burned someone down on an Apple discussion group the other day.

This person had previously in the thread corrected other peoples spelling… and been generally an asshole, then they replied specifically to me about a little piece I’d written.  I posted the piece intending to help the discussion group get around an issue in some software.

I simply wasn’t in the mood to deal with this persons snippy ass comment or the fact that they’re obviously still under the delusion that Apple can do no wrong. So… Flame ON!

I don’t typically read the comments after any news article. The rampant moronism displayed in such comments is actually painful to read.

I’m recognizing elements of cabin fever and depression. Neither of which is helped by being stood up for simple things like coffee or having demands placed on me by trying to keep the conversation going over social media.

So I’m disconnecting from those sources of annoyance. I’ve been thinking that perhaps I’d be better off going to a Starbucks with my computer and trying to write in a new environment. 

I will keep on blogging…

 

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Why people like me hate Indian technical support centers

This morning, I finally got annoyed enough with my DSL modem that I braved using the Technical Support “Chat” line.

It was almost if not quite as annoying as actually speaking on the phone with technical support.

The problem is this; The modem I own, leases an IP address from Verizon every 2 hours. 

For my nontechnical friends that read this blog… This means that every two hours the modem asks for a number that is very much like a house number. That number is then used to access the internet sending and receiving packets of information. Think of it like thousands of little packages that may have bits of Mail, or music, or Video.

I ask for some information and the web site I’ve made the request of, packages up the answer and sends it to this address.

The difficulty is that the address may change. It doesn’t always, but it can unless you pay an extra fee to have what’s called a “Fixed IP” address. 

This means that every 2 hours due to Verizons slow response I lose internet connectivity for about 90 seconds.

You wouldn’t think that was a big deal except that during that 90 second window if you happen to be doing research on the Web, or streaming a video, or downloading something you’re suddenly disconnected from the internet.

So you end up having to restart a download, re-enter the web address that you were on and sometimes you have to close your browser and start all over again. If you’re streaming a movie from Netflix… well You’ll get an error that says Netflix is unavailable and to try your request again later.

FYI the interruption ALWAYS happens at the most suspenseful moment during a movie.

So This morning I decide that I’m going to fix this problem once and for all. I already know that there is no obvious method for changing the lease time from the consumer web application. I’m hoping that there’s a command I can enter to change the settings via another method.

I click on the little “Chat” icon and type the following;

“I want to change the lease interval time on my XYZ Modem, Serial number XXXXX Firmware version X.V.UU.Y from the current defalt of 2 hours to something more reasonable like, say 8 hours. Is this possible? If so, How do I do it?”

What I get back from R. is

“I am sorry for the inconvenience, Am I to understand that you wish to change the lease time from 2 hours to 8 hours?”

I’m reading this and thinking “Uh Oh, this is either going to be a really long conversation or a really short one seeing as I’m really short tempered with people apologizing for no reason.” 

It’s a hollow gesture, why do people feel they need to start a conversation with an apology? I’m asking a fairly straight forward question.

I answer

“Yes”

R says,

“I need to confirm the number of computers you have connected both on WiFi and network, The operating system you’re using and if you have the latest updates installed on your computer”

“Yep” I think its going to be one of those calls.”

I answer

“The number of computers at this location is irrelevant. However there are 16 devices of various types currently connected to the network that the modem is providing internet access to.

There are 4 computers, 2 DVDs 2 Satellite Boxes, 3 Phones, 1iPad, 1 Television, 2 Apple TVs, and one printer.

These devices are running the Android OS, the Apple IOS, Windows, XP, Windows 7, Mac OS 10 versions 8 and 7, Linux, UNIX, and VXWorks.

As you can see the devices, operating systems, and uses for these devices is not germane to the question. Since the question I asked, Can I change the IP address lease time in your modem has absolutely nothing at all to do with any of these devices being present on the network. 

In fact your modem sees only one device. That device is the WiFi router. So will you answer the question I asked or will you continue to work your way down that infernal script your reading from?”

R Says, “Please wait while I check my resources”

Yep, gonna be one of those calls… Several minutes tick by.

R returns

“There is no way for you to change the lease time. How do you know that the lease is 2 hours?” 

OH yeah definitely one of those days…

I tell R.

“Click on Modem Status, At the bottom of the screen click on Connection Status, then when the dialog box opens, you’ll see the time that the previous lease was obtained and the time that the lease is set to expire. The difference between the two numbers is 2 hours.

I’ve worked with other modems that allowed you to select the expiration time of the lease”

R Says, “Please wait while I check my resources” again…

R Comes back, “No sir this modem doesn’t’ provide that capability.”

I say, “OK please put it in your suggestion box. Depending on what you’re doing you can be interrupted as much as 5 times a day waiting for the internet to be available again. A more realistic value to use would be 6, 8, or 12 hours. Or simply have the client be able to set it. Obviously if Verizon were to need to re-assign IPs to the modem their servers could handle that as needed. As it is everyone using this model of DSL modem is needlessly hitting Verizon’s DHCP servers every couple of hours.

R. “Yes, I understand your concern. I will correlate this information…” 

I closed the Window.

Poor Little R. Had returned to his script. I had my answer and therefore had no further need of him.

So now on to the rest of my day. With the sure and certain knowledge that every 2 hours my internet connection will be disrupted.

I can’t blame the Call centers or the chat centers. It’s just when someone asks a question that doesn’t involve “How do I plug this in?”

I really wish that we could dispense with the scripted questions.

Verizon does exactly the same thing if you call them. They want to know what kind of computer you have and if you’ve upgraded to the latest version of the software. Which really doesn’t matter if the customer is calling because they were on the internet and suddenly they weren’t. Obviously the computer was working prior to their call.

But each time you have to answer the stupid questions. (And god help you if you get one of those Ever so helpful Automated Phone system things. I personally loathe the “Genuine People Personalities” they try to imbue those systems with.)

“Was your computer working properly?”

“Is your computer turned on?”

“Can you see anything on your computers display?”

Then finally you get down to the meat of the problem… The Modem is reporting that there is NO DSL connection, which is what you were trying to report in the first place. Of course by this time you’re ready to start ripping your hair out… OR Theirs.

Then it’s the “Oh my, I apologize for the inconvenience I will have to transfer you to the next tier support team please hold.”

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Then you get to start the whole explanation  process over again.

I wish they had a number for those of us “in the biz”. 

Well, actually they do… I have a few numbers I’ve collected over the years written down. 

I wish that you could say some incantation to the voice prompts that would connect you immediately to a 2nd 3rd or 4th tier support person.

99% of the time when a computer geek needs to ask a question… ONLY another computer geek can answer it.

Geek to Geek access time 30 seconds

Geek to mundane readers of scripts access time 48 minutes.

I’m proud to be a bit of a Geek.

Geek Pride!!!!

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Sacramento actually does something useful… Be still my palpitating heart!

 Well what do you know?

The Governor actually signed laws I can agree with.

One is AB 1844 and the other is SB 1349. Both have to do with the rights of an employee or prospective employee to refuse to provide their Facebook or other social media IDs or passwords.

See the article here.

All I can say is this; It’s sad as hell that we even had to write a law to provide this kind of protection.

We could have avoided the situation by simply having everyone say NO when they were asked for their ID and Password.

What I find particularly astounding is that people actually did it. You do realize that you can make purchases from within Facebook? SO if you give someone your ID and Password you might as well have given them your ATM card and PIN.

You wouldn’t have done that… so why would you give someone access to your Facebook, Twitter, MySpace or whatever account? 

The more astounding part is that HR people felt somehow entitled… 

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Then again if you look at so called “Professional Job Search Sites” like Cybercoders,  what you see is a very social media oriented site.

I mean really… do I need to see a photo gallery of my recruiter partying or getting married?

Nope! What I need is for them to stop playing on a Facebook-like site and get on the phone to find me a job.

This whole Social Media thing is completely out of control.

I was talking to an acquaintance over the weekend who commented that he didn’t know where people found the time to update their Facebook status so often.

He also has an evil sense of humor and has considered updating his Facebook status with information like “I’m going to the bathroom”, “I’m in the parking lot at work”, “I’m leaving my cubicle” and other inanities as a parody of all those people who take Facebook so seriously.

We also were discussing some of the darker sides of Facebook. What about those people that for whatever reason decided they wanted to stalk you? 

In his line of work that’s a possibility because he’s dealing with people that have problems.

It’s ashamed that these new laws do nothing to stop other web sites from publishing private information about you.

Seriously, do a Google search of your name sometime and see what pops up. You might be surprised to find your name, your address, where you work, even a picture of you and your house. It’s spooky how invasive things have gotten.

Recently, I searched my name and found that three addressees were listed for me. One of the addresses was a place that I’d worked. The website listed me as the owner of that building and that my net worth was in the 10’s of millions of dollars (I wish!)

This same web site listed me as the owner of an apartment complex and also listed my current address. Again all  of these entires had an estimated net worth associated with me. This is concerning because the over-inflated net worth could potentially make me a target of unscrupulous people that wanted to try the old “Slip & Fall” scam on my property hoping to get a big settlement.

Boy, would they be in for a big disappointment! 

I’m pleased to see that the state government at least is taking some action. Miraculous for Sacramento to do any kind of work, much less something really useful.

I wish that the law had been more far reaching, curtailing the private information collection and dissemination. I suppose that a law like that will be proposed when some politician gets stalked.

In the mean time… 

Good Job Sacramento!

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SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM… and More SPAM! (Updated)

I love the SPAMBOT Postings (I had to stop reading political stuff)

So lately rather than immediately deleting the SPAM that people try to post to this blog, I’ve been reading it.

You’ve got to be kidding!!!

Do any of these things work at all?

These comments have all kinds of flowery speech and it’s obvious that some of them have been written by translation software.

Here’s a few examples;

I really enjoy this theme youve got going on on your site. What is the name of the design by the way? I was thinking of using this style for the website I am going to construct for my class room project.

It is rare for me to discover something on the cyberspace that is as entertaining and fascinating as what youve got here. Your page is sweet, your graphics are outstanding, and whats more, you use reference that are relevant to what you are talking about. Youre definitely one in a million, great job!

Hello There. I found your blog using msn. This is a really well written article. I will be sure to bookmark it and return to read more of your useful information. Thanks for the post. I will certainly comeback.

Don’t get me wrong, I like compliments as much as the next person. But, I don’t like empty compliments that are supposed to make me approve a comment just so the commenter can “Build Links” or redirect someone to their sales site.

All of the above comments are linked to sales sites. Things like Gucci knock off bags, or shoes, or whatever Chinese knockoff someone thinks they can entice someone with.

The really scary part is that some of these links track to websites that are full of malware. Many of these sites are in foreign countries, The largest majority appear to be originating from Asia, at least that’s as far as I wanted to track them.

These messages come from SPAMBOTS, they apparently scan for new blog entries and then post a comment. If you’re not paying attention you’ll approve the comment and potentially give the spammer distribution of their website address and god forbid one of your readers will click on the link and it’s a malware website.

These comments end up in my deletion queue immediately. But sometimes they’re funny.

Then there are the tons of email SPAM I get.

RevoIution – home business (Followed by a web address that appears to be hosted in Amsterdam.)

Learn how to turn successful at home (Associated with a website hosted in France)

Up to $2,500 NOW. Bad or NO Credit OK. (This one actually came from an American Website)

The BIGGEST Auto Clearance of 2012 Is On NOW.  LAST CHANCE To Save THOUSANDS! (This one comes from the same site)

Then there’s my ALL TIME favorite! This one sets off the Virus detection every single time!

From: UPS Information

Subject: Delivery information # Error ID3122

Usually in the preview you’ll see something like;

I did disapprove of your following me here, for you know that

This one is a malware /virus laden email that originates on a juno site apparently in Russia.

I get about 10 of these a week on an ancient yahoo mail account. What’s interesting about this one is the rambling text that’s embedded in the message. It looks like random clippings from some kind of story / literary website. 

I can only assume that it’s a method to evade the spam detection software many servers and email programs use.

Then there are the SPAM Faxes;

Crap1

Crap2

Tell me does anyone actually call these people? 

I’ve set my fax machine to route anything it doesn’t recognize to a directory on my server. That way I’m not wasting ink printing stuff that shouldn’t be coming in to my fax machine unsolicited.

For a while, I dutifully reported junk faxes to the appropriate government authorities, but the faxes kept coming in. After a while I concluded that either the government authorities couldn’t care less or… they were simply overwhelmed.  I tried setting up an auto forwarding to the proper government authorities but they told me that would be spamming them.

Now I purge junk email, and faxes about every 3 months. That’s is exactly what I’m doing today and why you have the “JOY” of this random sampling of crap.

Just remember… YOU Came to this blog, I didn’t send it to you!

As always be careful opening emails, and make sure that your anti-virus software is up to date.

Have a great day.

 

Apparently, the SPAMBOTS loved this blog post. Since it was published, there have been a 127 spam comments attached to this one post. Who’d have thought…