Tuesday Morning Follies

Cold wet dog nose poking into my left butt cheek.

I roll over and try to ignore it, Dog sniffs my naughty bits, I’m more conscious, but still mostly asleep…  something in my brain triggers a sub process.

Dog doesn’t bug me while I’m sleeping unless … Unless what…. UNLESS HE’S SICK!!!!

I toss the rest of the sheets off and leap out of bed.

I’m still on auto pilot, brain not spun up to full function. Dog panting and trotting down the hall ahead of me. We make it to the living room, I grab the slider pop the lock and yank it open.

There’s one tiny issue I’ve forgotten. As the door slides open, I realize my mistake, but it’s too late.

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BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP 

The alarm system is screaming. and every other electronic device in the house capable of receiving mail, text messages, or phone calls is chirping, ringing, or vibrating.

In the sudden cacophony the dog stops in his tracks, completely forgetting that he’s not feeling well.

Emergency Protocol — Tech Interface – ONLINE 

Technological part of brain now fully functional… 

I tear around the living room furniture aka toe breaking obstacles, to the alarm control panel.

I punch in the disarm code. Panel stops beeping, reports disarmed…

I check the nearest electronic device. 

4/23 7:08 AM
BURGLARY ALARM. Proceed with caution.
Sensor: Living Room  Door (Zone 5)
 
I’m waiting for another message.

The message that says I’ve gotten to the panel quick enough and that I won’t be hauled out onto the lawn naked at gunpoint.

Briefly I think I should pull some sweats on if the cops do show up. Then the message comes in. 

4/23 7:08 AM
Alarm cleared by Master access code
 
I’m cool! No cops, no worries. 

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Dog curiously looking at me.

Innocent face, “Dad, why are you being so weird this morning?

“Go outside”, I tell him… I head to kitchen. Push button on coffee maker, head to bathroom relieve myself, grab shorts head back to kitchen.

Ahhhh Coffee!

Dog wants morning treat, and to play. Seems to think this new game is a lot of fun.

Sometimes… Dog is a real bastard!

I hate Games in Business Transactions

I Hate playing games with vendors or suppliers of services.

All too often these days people seem to want to play games with your paycheck, they want to play games with your bills, games with your mail, your email, your online accounts. They want to play games with you returning things.

DirecTV after two and half weeks finally got around to sending me a “recovery kit”

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Do you know what’s in the recovery kit? Take a guess it’s not what you would think…

I was expecting a large box with a couple of return labels.  I was going to put both of the DirecTV receivers in the big box and then take the big box to the post office.

What I got was a package full of labels… No box, no packing material, nothing that I could put the DirecTV receivers in to make sure that they got back to DirecTV.

The first passing thought was slap the stickers directly on the receivers themselves and send that to DirecTV however I knew the post office wouldn’t take them that way.

So I found a couple boxes down in the garage.

The receivers are in the boxes covered in ghost poop, I’m not at all sure that they’ll survive the rough handling that I know the postal service will subject them to. At this point I don’t really care… much.  I do, the machines didn’t do anything wrong they’re in good working order and they shouldn’t be damaged because no-one cares.

I did pack them tightly and with what packaging materials I had available. I just wish that the idiots at DirecTV had sent me the proper boxes with appropriate packing.

Now it’s just a matter of figuring out how the post office wants the labels on the boxes.

Clearly DirecTV was trying to do nothing more than make it difficult for me to return their product

We came to an end of our relationship after eight years because of exactly this kind of game playing.

If I want to cancel my service I should be able to cancel my service, it should be no harm no foul.

I should be able to put the receivers in the box and I should be able to send the box back to DirecTV.

Instead I had to make three requests for the recovery kit

After the third request what I get is a package full of labels not shipping boxes.

I know what the game is about and how it’s played.

It’s all about them figuring “Maybe if we make it to hard for this person to get rid of the receivers,  if we make it so that he’s going to be charged a ton of money if he keeps the receivers for any length of time after the contract is up maybe he’ll sign up with us again, maybe we can continue to get the $120 or $130 a month.”

All I can say is they don’t know me very well.

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With me, the harder you make something, the more annoyed I get, the more likely I will go to the ends of the Earth to accomplish my goal.

In this case I’m going to make sure that I can put DirecTVs equipment straight up their collective ass.

So DirecTV not only did you lose a customer because I couldn’t make changes to my plan without having to go to some kind of unbelievable game with plan switches, and 2 year contracts all of which was designed to make absolutely sure that I ended up spending more money than I was originally, you’ve also lost a customer forever.

I cannot imagine myself doing any business at all with DirecTV from here on out I’m not going to say never.  But it is sure as hell going to require a lot of thought before I sign my name on any dotted line with these people.

Gotta Love the Web

I’m settling down last night for a well deserved sleep. 

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It’s about midnight. I put the iPad down & plug it in to charge.

“Ding” the display flashes a message about me moderating a comment on the blog.

I enjoy comments.

Its always interesting to see what people’s take is on my sometimes lucid, more often than not chaotic thoughts.

This comment has a provocative subject line and is attached to one of my older posts. 

I couldn’t resist.

I get up, pad softly into my office wake up the computer. My computer is really grumpy when I wake it up late at night, then log into the blog site.

As I’m reading the whole comment I realize it’s essentially an advertisement. It’s for another web site selling items of an Adult nature who figured they’d get free advertising by commenting.

Say what?

Nothing is free Bucko!

Where the hell is my percentage? Where is my ad click revenue? Do I know these people? Have I been sent a catalog, samples, asked permission? Uh NOPE, No, No & No!

Needless to say, The originating server got banned.

Actually, my Hosting Service beat me to it. I guess the originator of this particular comment ticked off a lot of people. I didn’t even have to reject the comment, it was in the deleted items before I even got to it.

Gotta love the efficiency of the Hosting Service.

So here’s the deal, If you want to advertise something on this blog contact me. Lets talk and see if we can come to some arrangement that is mutually beneficial. Once that’s done, I’ll proudly put your links on the page.

… For a percentage

Gotta pay the bills somehow!

It never fails…

I’m out having a nice time and my phone starts blowing up.

Emails are rolling in at about 2 a minute and I’m wondering what the hell is going on.

The emails are dumb and from people I don’t know.

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Don’t worry, this chunk above is a screen grab. So the link isn’t live. Obviously don’t manually type it into your browser. I have no idea what the heck kind of viruses you’ll infect yourself with if you do.

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Obviously they’re trying to interest the unsuspecting in a dating site. The site may actually be legitimate but the 50 emails that blasted into my inbox were all from different servers and appeared to be spoofed.

I ignored the first 5 or 10 emails. Then I got annoyed, so while I was drinking my JD, waiting for my meal I pulled out the ipad and started poking around. Pretty soon it was clear that these were spoofed emails. the problem was that I didn’t have all the tools on the ipad to really put a stop to the problem.

About the best I could do was just turn off the email account until I could get back to my computer. (Note to self, beef up iPad tool set.)

I fucking hate spammers.

I was surprised at how many European servers are apparently open enough to allow spoofing.

Some of these emails were originating on Latin American systems too. Bolivia comes to mind as one of the worst offenders.

Maybe I’m just cranky. I’ve thrown my back out and am becoming acquainted  with new definitions of pain. Or maybe it’s that I wanted nothing more than a quiet night spent in a social situation without having to think about technology…

This morning after figuring out the scoop behind these emails, I put the originating servers and a bunch of other questionable sites hitting my blogs from Russia on the deny list.

Don’t get me wrong I like Russia, and have had the pleasure of working with some great folks from there. I just don’t see why a site called prostituteks.ru needs to be linking to my blog 1000 times an hour but not reading any pages.

I’d like that kind of traffic on my blog but only if it was really people reading the site. This looks like some kind of bot trying to do something strange.

So I just spent an hour investigating the traffic and then configuring my deny IP list to block the strange stuff. I’ve also for the first time enabled a SPAM filter on my host. It’s a pity, yet another thing I have to manage and maintain simply because some people can’t restrain themselves from screwing around with other peoples stuff.

I suppose, that it takes a factionally small percentage of people to click on a link to make it worthwhile to a spammer, whether the spammer is looking to increase their bot army or scamming money out of the unsuspecting.

Bottom line, if you even think that there’s something weird about an email you’ve received, just delete it. If your friend really sent you something they’ll probably follow up with you about it.

Stuff like this does make me more likely to leave my phone at home, or turned off.

I miss the days when we weren’t so connected all the time.