Category: Male

Posted on

Ahh Birthdays…

NewImage

Today is mine.

I have received some hilarious birthday cards & emails. Got a package from home with some regional delicacies.

Was in Palm Springs yesterday, saw some friends & had a nice meal. Other than that today is pretty much normal. In all, life is alright.

My custom for celebrating my birthday as an adult has to more often than not be alone and somewhat contemplative. I look at the previous year and recall what I liked, what I didn’t, and try to learn from the experiences.

When I was  younger I’d get maudlin about the whole affair because I’d be comparing my whole life against some crazy ideal. Fuck that! 

The ideals that I was raised with aren’t really achievable in this world anymore. How many of us are fortunate enough to be able to work to the same company let alone in the same career for all of our working lives?

I’d be really depressed if I was still making that “this is my life” comparison. 

Change with the times Man! My career is a mess, I see three choices in that regard. Change careers, retire early (way too early), or follow the jobs that are in my field out of state.

Option 2 is right out… Leaving Option 1 or Option 3. Which option is best for me? Dude, I have no fucking clue.

What I do know is that dwelling on it and beating my head against the wall isn’t cutting it for me. So I’m not doing it.

What’s been good in this past year? The trip out to Colorado.( I really do like road trips.) I’ve achieved some of the goals around the house. Haven’t spent too much money but probably will in the next couple of months. (Hey we’re talking Birthday to Birthday here not tax years…) I’ve tried things that I hadn’t ever tried before. Some successful and others complete failures, yet even the failures were worth the time I spent.

The bad… stuff like wasting my time trying to meet people via social media sites. I have learned that people prefer to maintain the anonymity of the internet and more power to them. I’m going to physically hang out in places where there are people that are into things that I’m interested in. Then hopefully, I can make some new friends.

It takes zero effort to “like” someone on Facebook and you can easily be guilted into that. It takes effort and work to actually be a friend. I’m far more interested in having friends and being a friend.

I’ve been disappointed in a couple of things. I’d wanted to finish my first book by now, but I haven’t. There is nothing and no-one to blame except myself. So I will be redoubling my efforts on that front. Even if the book never sells a large number of copies… at least I’ll have accomplished the goal. Who knows, perhaps the book will catapult me into a viable Option 1.

I’m another year older. My body reminds me that I’m not as young as I used to be but thankfully It’s mostly gentle reminders. I do wish I didn’t have quite as many aches as I do.

I can easily remember jumping out of bed feeling great. Well… Jumping out of bed today would probably end with me in a heap on the floor and the dogs wondering, “what the hell has he done NOW?”

Aging does have some perks.

The best of these is I just don’t give a damn as much as I did.

You don’t like me? My politics? My Sex life?

So what, Get lost and I won’t shed a single tear.

I used to live for people liking me. Now it’s nice if they do but not world ending if they don’t.

There have been a couple of people who’ve left comments on this blog that frankly were unbelievable. I welcome comments but there is a line. To those folks I’ve said “Thank you for your opinion, I’m not likely to change and you’re probably better off reading another blog.”

That’s a freedom that I didn’t have when I was younger and I’m learning to enjoy it.

To all the rest of the people that share this Birthday.

Happy Birthday!

Remember, we were probably conceived during our Fathers getting one of their Christmas presents. 

If my Dad was still around, I’d probably send him a condom and a card that said “If Only“… He’d laugh his ass off.

Here’s to Fathers everywhere and their Christmas presents.

I hope everyone has as good a day as I’m having.

Posted on

$60 well spent

IMAG0235

Went to Guitar Center today, and spent some time with Beauty and a professional instrument technician.

I learned how to change strings, how to do minor maintenance and do intonation. Plus I learned how to do a bunch of easy little things that will make the guitar sound better, and last longer.

When I got home, I practiced for about 2 hours during a thunderstorm and am excited.

I’ve been trying to learn to sight read standard musical notation and the TAB standard. The miracle is that I’m getting it. 

For someone that has believed for a large portion of their life that they were musically inept and incapable of learning to play an instrument, this experience is really good for me as it’s allowing me to have a sense of accomplishment.

Right now this is really important since the job search isn’t getting much in the way of results.

Learning something new, that is also artistic seems to recharge me so that the next set of indignities I have to deal with in the job search don’t seem so bad.

If you’r e looking for a new job and not having much luck, I highly recommend learning something new, or that you dig out an old hobby and use it as a means to relax.

Have fun, play with the dog, or the kids. But make sure that you set aside some time for something that you love to do alone.

It might help you see a new way to pursue the jobs you’re seeking or just see a new path.

I’m sure as heck not going to become a rocker. My next career isn’t going t be on stage but I can learn to make music and enjoy myself.

Isn’t being happy what it’s all about?

Posted on

You Know… I’m too easily distracted.

But then I get pissy because my distractibility leads me to doing stuff that isn’t actually forwarding my goals.

My God Son indirectly pointed this out to me. 

He asked how the book was going and was genuinely interested.

The book is moving forward. It’s just that it’s moving too slowly for my expectations. BUT THAT’S Nobodys fault but mine.

I have to learn to be more even tempered… at my ancient age you’d think I’d have this stuff down pat but I don’t 

I’m stressing internally about a lot of things. I want to finish the book, I need to find a new job and if I find a new job out of state… I’ll be forced to make a decision between a long relationship and being able to support not only myself but others as well.

However, that too is something that isn’t reason enough to get pissy.

Again, the people that care about me and love me shouldn’t have to put up with me being an asshole.

What reason do they have to love me at all if all they ever get from me is snottiness because I’m all wrapped up in my shit?

I really have to get my shit right and remember that the people who love me must always have a special place in my head and my heart that is free of external B.S. They should always know that I care very much about them, and the only way I can make sure of that is to make sure is to show them.

Posted on

I saw this little jewel on TOWLEROAD a while back

I’ve let this one steep a while since I wasn’t really sure that I wanted to be quite this out there. But I’m thinking aww what the hell?

I’ve gotta file this one under the WTF category…

Friend of Norwegian Mass Murderer Anders Behring Breivik Thought He Was Gay, Closeted

Read more: TOWLEROAD

I have to ask what does this guys sexuality have to do with the fact that he’s on trial for killing 77 people?

This guy has confessed to committing the murders but claims that he did so to protect his beloved homeland and culture.

The piece also comments on the fact that Breivik had a nose job “so he could have a more “Aryan” nose”. So what?

I’m not sure what the attorneys in Norway are trying to prove.

Breivik, had he been the leader of a revolution that won… would be described as a liberator and hero to his people for protecting the purity of Norwegian culture.

However since Breivik was acting alone he’s perceived as a nutcase and murderer. Now it looks as if the Norwegian court is trying to marginalize the crime and his stated reasons for committing it by painting him as a vain, closeted homosexual who acted out.

This suggests to me that perhaps Norwegian society isn’t ready to consider that they may have a larger problem…

They’re hoping that the Breivik case is a “one-off“.  Perhaps it is.

Images

But what if it’s not?

Lets look at this another way…

What kind of social pressure, cultural change, and abuse does it take for a vain, closeted homosexual to make, plant and detonate a bomb, or pick up a rifle and start shooting people?

The Norwegians had a bit of civil unrest several years ago because one of their cartoonists drew a picture. That picture while protected under Norwegian free speech rights still had to be apologized for. The artist still had to flee his home. The Norwegian government, instead of expelling those who sought to deny the artist his rights made concessions to a radical minority.

The imposition of foreign cultural taboos on a society will inevitably result in unrest. 

Vivid examples include Palastine, and Iran.

The Shah of Iran was deposed at least in part because his policies were too progressive, and  too Western. Apparently the religious infrastructure of the country perceiving a threat to their tradition, power and culture incited a coup. The ruling government then exiled all foreigners, nationalized all the resources and descended into an almost isolationist (from the West except for oil sales) period.

The Palestinians resented in 1947 and do to this day control being imposed on them by the West in the creation of the State of Israel.

I’m not suggesting that Breivik was in any way correct in what he did.

What I’m saying is that perhaps Norway should look more carefully at it’s rising nationalism and the factors that are contributing to it.

Otherwise the next  Breivik will organize an insurgent movement. Such a movement could easily be aimed at focusing Norways’ rising nationalism against the Norwegian government and all people that are perceived as a threat to Norwegian cultural values.

Posted on

Where’s MY Obama Money?

American healthcare

Couldn’t help myself.

When President Obama was first elected there was this little lady being interviewed on television, she was talking about all the good things that were going to happen for her since Obama was elected. One of the things she kept talking about was how she was going to get a new cell phone and a better apartment ’cause of Obama Money that would be coming to her.

When she was asked where that money actually came from she said she didn’t care, ’cause it was Obama money and Obama was going to make everything alright for her.

Myself and 300 coworkers layoffs were a direct result of President Obama and Congress having a pissing contest in late 2010 and early 2011.

Clearly BOTH sides forget that they are there to represent the PEOPLE not partisan interests.

Here we are in the election cycle again. The only thing that has changed, especially for people like me is that our unemployment is running out, we’re paying obscene prices for COBRA coverage ($600) a month and despite the media spin… things are improving at a snails pace.

WHERES MY OBAMACARE?

Guess what?

As usual, since I’m an American worker that has scrabbled and climbed to the middle class, contributed to the economy, paid my bills, didn’t use my house as a piggy bank, and have been responsible for myself and my shit.

I’m actually NOT ELIGIBLE for Obamacare… and won’t be until long after I’m destitute, homeless, masturbating under a bridge, and a burden on society. Which will happen a lot sooner than later paying out COBRA.

In general even in my 50s I don’t use $7200 of medical care per year. I’m extremely thankful for this. So why am I paying $600 a month to maintain COBRA? An even more interesting question is why does the Obama system make it illegal to not pay for insurance?

Between prescriptions, the occasional MD, Dentist, and Optometrist visit I’d say that if I were paying cash maybe I’d spend $3500 per year.

This is EXACTLY why so many employed folks CHOOSE to forego insurance. I went without insurance for YEARS… I paid out of pocket for services rendered…

And you know what???

Because it was a simple cash transaction I got pretty steep discounts and the same or better care BECAUSE the insurance companies weren’t involved. During those times… the Doc would say you need an antibiotic and hand me a bag full of physician samples. Great! no pharmacy bill.

I’ve been in an emergency room exactly once in my life. That was because I had a broken bone. I’ve been to urgent care twice. If there’s any way I can see my Doctor, I’ll call him drive to his office and wait. I’d rather have him look at me than some stranger anyway. 

So folks not having insurance are taking a risk but they do that every fucking day just driving on the freeways, especially now!

7 grand in my yearly budget would be a whole lot better than paying for coverage that I’m not fully utilizing. I’d imagine that the average American family could do a lot with 7K per year.

7 grand is 4 months of unemployment. Honestly, I’d rather have the cash.

So tell me again why we’re all paying so much?

OH Yeah! it’s to cover all the people who have no insurance, low incomes, and who regularly clog emergency rooms with non-emergency situations because they KNOW they will be seen by a doctor even if they refuse to pay their bill.

The disparity isn’t stacked in favor of the rich and middle class it’s stacked in favor of the poor.

So now here comes Obamacare <insert imperial fanfare here>. It does nothing for me. Insurance costs won’t be lower. My care will probably be degraded, and I’ll most likely end up paying out of packet to see the Doctor I want to see instead of some non-english speaking supposed doctor with whom I have nothing in common and whose instructions for my care, I can’t understand anyway.

The thing that annoys me probably most… is this wonderful debacle will put the country in even more debt and effectively lower the quality of care for everyone. Because after all mediocrity and socialism walk hand in hand don’t they?

I don’t shop a K-Mart for… well anything. I’ll be damned if I’m going to be forced into a K-Mart situation in health care. “We can do that required brain surgery for $500, but for $1500 we’ll sterilize the instruments.”

The liberal elite can’t understand why the middle class is pissed off!

It’s easier for them to call us selfish, and greedy rather than to take all their supposed intellect and actually understand the position they’re placing us in.