Category: Male

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Letter to a wayward child

I don’t understand.

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I treated you as an adult, I stayed out of your affairs, I offered advice sometimes unasked but only because I thought you could use a different point of view. Was I not fair? Didn’t I welcome you into my home? Didn’t I treat you well?

You used my vehicle, you were an equal.

You repaid our kindness by breaking the few rules we have in the house. You were always late with your part of the rent… and I said nothing.

I even asked if you had enough cash to be able to cover your part, if you’d ever said no… It wouldn’t have been a problem. I’d have handed the rent check back. I was more interested in making sure that you had what you needed.

I made myself available to you… all you ever had to do was call and I’d have been there. If you were too tired to drive, I’d have come to get you.

In the end you weren’t even bothering to text anyone to say you were ok. Another rule broken… It’s not like you couldn’t, you & your girlfriend were texting each other 50 times an hour.

You were never where you said you’d be, certainly not when you said you’d be there.

I teased you about it but wasn’t upset by it, you’re young and sometimes being young means that you forget things. You’re easily distracted by the next new thing or experience.

Then I realized you were lying…

The realization began when, one day you asked me what my mailing address was . I innocently gave it to you. Later when I asked what you needed the address for, you told me you were updating your address book. I took you at your word.

A few days later, you asked me if I’d checked my mail… I said yes, thinking you were offering to make the post office run.

A week or so later, when a certain piece of mail showed up. Everything was clear… You’d used me. You’d been sneaky, and you’d facilitated someone else’s sneakiness.

In the bargain, you’d placed me in the middle of whatever was going on and you’d done it without any consideration for the position you’d put me in.

I waited for you to ask about it, I wanted a few minutes to talk with you about it. Instead, you were like trying to capture lightening, I couldn’t get enough of your time to even find out what you were doing much less have a conversation. Then there’s the question… Did you really think I wasn’t going to notice what you’d done or question it? Really?

From then on… I watched you more closely.

I listened very carefully to what little bits of information you let slip as you breezed through on your way to your next destination.

More and more often your stories didn’t match up. What you said about where you were and with who changed with each telling.

How many times when you said you were camping were you really camping? How about those times when you said you were staying at your Dads place?

Given the nearly 10,000 miles (As a conservative estimate) you put on the truck… I’m inclined to believe you were doing a lot more than just driving around the local area.

I came to the conclusion that I simply couldn’t trust you. I was going to ask for the keys to my truck. I wish now that I’d installed a tracking device on my truck because I suspect it would be very interesting to find out just where you’d been.

Then you announced you were moving out immediately.

Again breaking the rules…

The rental agreement said you were supposed to give 30 days notice. When you get into the real world and aren’t living with your girlfriends parents I expect you’re going to learn a lot of nasty lessons very quickly.

Honestly though, it was a relief. I am glad to have nothing but the tail end of the drama to deal with. I’m glad to have my house back.

Don’t get me wrong, you could have stayed here till the cows came home, I wouldn’t have asked you to leave. I’d made a commitment to you and I was going to honor it. I’d have simply made sure that everything was secure when we weren’t around.

I would have continued patiently trying to show you that being an honest, honorable man, and doing the right thing is important and valuable.

These are the same things your father taught you, but for some reason you don’t seem to have learned the lessons.

I thought you were just lying to me.

As you were moving out I found out that you’d brought the potential for trouble right to my door. I believe that you were going to leave without even warning me.

I finally connected all the dots, when I spoke with your Dad this week.

After you moved out, I discovered that you’d been lying to your Father, Me, and I can’t even imagine how many other people.

Your Dad was pissed off at me, because he thought you were asking me for advice and I wasn’t letting him know you were making bad decisions. You knew this, yet you never said a word.

UP to this point I was annoyed, and hurt. Because I thought it was just me you were lying to.

After hearing your Dad, I was flat out pissed off!

All the times I asked you if you’d talked with your dad, and you said “Yes”, you were lying.

Those times when I gave you my opinion of a situation and suggested that you also get your Dads opinion, you just blew me off.

You never once spoke with your Dad. When I asked, following up about your dads opinion, you lied to me again.

You have no place here.

Your keys won’t work, you can’t even access the WiFi anymore. I can’t trust anything about you. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to trust you again.

In time, I may be able to forgive you. But I’ll never be able to forget it.

I hope that your Dad and I can put our friendship back together, I honestly don’t know at this point. What I do know is that it’s going to take a LOT of work, Thanks for that by the way…

You need to consider the collateral damage you cause. I touched on this briefly several weeks ago when I told you you were jamming us up not by what you did… but by not doing what you said you were going to do.

Knowing what I know now… I would and perhaps should have let you leave your Dads house for some of the less savory options you were planning.

God knows it would have been a lot easier, and my home wouldn’t have been disrupted by the constant drama.

I was trying to be a decent person… You used that against me.

I was acting to protect you and your Dad, I didn’t what to see him brokenhearted if you followed in the footsteps of your siblings.

I hoped and prayed that you were different and for a time I believed you were. I actually believed that given some time you’d move back in with your Father and everything would work out, especially when it became obvious that you had no intention of trying the military again.

I can’t believe that I was so very wrong in so many ways about you.

You really should consider a career in acting. You’re good at it. Then again, so are sociopaths.

Now A lot of people are broken hearted and I know none of us will ever know the whole truth about anything about you.

Who are you really?

Do I want to know?

Probably not…

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First Cold of the season…

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Grrrrr,

This is my first cold of the season, it hit me in four hours… Yeah, weird. I was feeling fine then Saturday evening, I ate dinner and within 3 – 4 hours I felt like I was being choked because my throat was swelling, shortly after coughing.

Now it’s a full blown sore throat, sniffles, fever, and occasional coughing.

Of course, Given what Sandy has done to the East Coast… I can’t complain too much.

I have an interview this morning. So I’m going to have to put on a happy face and make a good impression… Then I’ll come home and take copious amounts of drugs & go back to sleep.

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I was planning to send a blog earlier today

OOOPPPPS!

I was thinking about the blogs,  then I was kind of random, then I started to write something and instead upgraded to a new dive log program. Such has been my day.

I’m waiting for the swelling of my toe to go down. 

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Yesterday I smacked my big toe on the stairs and thought I’d just ripped the nail off. This morning the blood was a lot easier to clean up and of course my eyes weren’t watering either.

The damage isn’t nearly as bad as it looked last night.

But there’s pain/stiffness in the joint and a little swelling. So I’m taking it easy today.

I don’t think I broke anything but I damn sure smacked the hell out of it. 

It’s a wonder I didn’t fall the whole way back down the stairway. I think I damaged my wrist too as I caught myself. My right hand and wrist are puffy… Uh oh! I guess I’m going to be cheating and using my left hand tonight! 

The foot doesn’t hurt too much unless I move too fast or twist when I’m walking. Right now it’s just a dull ache as long as I don’t walk around too much.

I will say this… if anyone ever tries to do a murder investigation around this house they’re going to find my blood all over the place… Lately it seems I can’t do anything around here without drawing blood.

I guess I won’t be dancing over the next couple of days.

Maybe I’ll just put the drill and hammer down until there’s someone around who can call 911 if I do something really stupid!

Nahhh I gotta get some stuff finished before the weekend. 

 

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The Evil of Express Scripts

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I’ve written before about some of my travails with Express Scripts.

The latest dealings with them is simply too annoying for me to let pass without comment.

Two weeks ago, I noticed it was time for me to order the single medication that I use daily.

I went to the Express Scripts web site, placed an order , got a confirmation number and then heard nothing else.

I didn’t get their usual string of annoying emails;

“We’re processing your order”

“We’re really processing your order”

“We’re putting your order in a box”

,“We’ve put the stamp on your order”

“Do you want to schedule automatic home delivery?”

“We put your order on the shelf”

“Are you really sure you don’t want to schedule automatic home delivery?”

“We’ve moved the box containing your order to another shelf”

“Why don’t you want to schedule automatic delivery?

“The post man picked up your order”

“Your tracking number is…”

Normally, I’d get the tracking number a couple of days after I had the package in hand.

I didn’t think too much of their new terseness, I actually thought, “Great, I’m not being spammed to death with irrelevant B.S.”

Then I forgot about it… It’s not uncommon for them to take as long as 10 day to get my stuff to me. That’s rare but it’s happened in the past.

On the 10th day I log into the Express Scripts website, to see where my order is. I find that it shipped on September 11. I check the supplied tracking number and discover that the order was apparently delivered via a post office in Calimesa, CA. Apparently someone received the order… it’s listed as delivered by the Calimesa Post Office.

Whoa!, First, Calimesa is about 65 miles from me. Second I didn’t pick up the order.

I call Express Scripts and get this really snotty little bitch.

I wasn’t particularly upset when I started the call, I just needed to know what was going on.

But after speaking with little miss bitch I was angry!

Turns out Express Script policy is not to worry about it until 12 days after a package has gone missing.

OK fine what then? According to Ms. Bitch then they’ll send me another order but in the mean time I’m the one that has to follow up with the Postal Service.

WHAT? I’m not the one that shipped something only to have it go missing.

Every other vendor who ships something will initiate a trace in the event that a package goes missing. But not Express Scripts.

Which caused me to ask the question “What would have happened if this prescription was an opiate? Vicodin, Darvon, Demerol, Percodan? Those are heavy duty controlled substances, would Express Scripts be so cavalier about a package of that going missing?”

Little Ms Bitch interrupted me 5 times while I was asking that question, then bitched at me for talking over HER!

Her response was “my hands are tied, our policy is clear” which I thought was a pretty defensive and pat answer.

I asked another question and little Ms bitch talked over me AGAIN. “What happens if I run out of my RX?”

“If the patient runs out of their medication,

The patient has to contact their physician to get an new RX to have filled at a local pharmacy. “

Which is seriously annoying because Express Scripts has the RX and could easily arrange with the local pharmacy to provide a small supply while the shipping issue is being sorted out.

Needless to say a stronger letter will follow to the fine dumb asses at Express Scripts.

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Saturday I couldn’t do anything, since I needed normal business hours to speak with supervisors.

I will be sending a letter to the FDA, the DEA (Both of whom are involved with the regulation of online pharmacies) Another letter sent to the California “Board of Pharmacy”. All of which will be CCd to Express Scripts Corporate offices.

Oh, By the way, you have to Google for Express Scripts corporate office address because it’s not on their damn web site!

It’s not just that I’m missing a single package.

I can’t be the first or only person to have a package go missing.

As a customer it shouldn’t be MY responsibility to track down that package.

There is the whole can of worms about what happens if the drugs being shipped are Schedule 1 drugs (Highly addictive or subject to abuse) and those go missing?

There’s the issue that if I’m out of the drug I need now I have to take my Doctors time un-necessarily to clean up Express Scripts mess.

Then there’s the problem that what my Doctor prescribes and what Express Scripts actually sends are two different things. Express Scripts has no problem taking a patient off a perfectly good medication that works effectively and predictably to put the patient on a “Generic” medication.

I don’t care what the hype says… A generic medication has a slightly different chemical makeup therefore It’s NOT the same as the prescribed drug. (I can produce proof that Generics aren’t as effective as the “real” drug I was prescribed. That proof is of course strictly about my own body and your milage will vary. But the ineffectiveness isn’t pronounced enough to FORCE Express Scripts to give me the “REAL” drug again.)

What the hell is Express Scripts doing prescribing medications without having ever personally seen the patient in question? 

If I have the RX filled at the local pharmacy, I’m going to get what the Doctor prescribed, which means I get to go through an uncomfortable re-adjustment to the “REAL” drug, and guess what? I get to go through that painful re-adjustment AGAIN when Express Scripts gets their shit together and sends me my damn order.

Express Scripts is Evil… They’re the Wal-Mart of the pharmacy world.

Most shopping plazas have a grocery store and a pharmacy. There’s a reason that became the norm, we all buy groceries and it’s no big deal to drop by the pharmacy when we’re picking up the weekly supplies.

That is, by the way exactly what I used to do. I’d call the pharmacy, place the order and schedule to pick it up on whatever evening after work when I was getting groceries. Simple, efficient, and it was good for the economy.

Yeah, think about that…

How often have you gone into the pharmacy to pick up a prescription and realized you’d forgotten vitamins, or shampoo, condoms or whatever?

Now, because of Express Scripts and companies like them, you don’t go into the pharmacy nearly as often.

This translates to a loss of sales on all those little incidental items, or seasonal items that you’d have purchased in the past. Now, you’re not likely to even see them.

Guess what? That means that local jobs in your community are at risk. Stockers, cashiers, and the staff of your local drug store won’t be as necessary because the drug store loses business.

Highly trained individuals like Pharmacists will not be in demand so their jobs are at risk too. Overall that degrades the quality of the local community.

I miss going to the pharmacy and picking up my prescription. I miss talking with the pharmacist and the human touch. I miss the confidence I had in my local pharmacist. They not only had my prescription records, but that they checked them for drug interactions.

I get NONE of that using Express Scripts. What I get from Express Scripts is inconvenience, and a snotty little Bitch that has no courtesy, and reads a script instead of being actually helpful.

I’ve said it before, RESIST! REBEL!

It’s your health and your body that these people are arbitrarily playing with. You don’t have to accept the B.S. they’re peddling.

Don’t agree to an insurance plan that includes Express Scripts, choose other insurance options if at all possible.

If your company has already bought into the Express Scripts kool-aid, You can try to force your company insurance programs to stop using Express Scripts.

Complain to your HR people every single time Express Scripts screws up, or swaps your working prescriptions for a generic without bothering to tell you.

Eventually, your company insurance administrators will get tired of hearing the complaints and fielding phone calls. When they do… you can be sure they’ll drop Express Scripts… because dealing with Express Scripts is too much trouble.

Check your prescriptions carefully

When Express Scripts substitutes a generic for the drug you were taking make sure they spoke with your physician.

Even though they claim in their letters that they speak with your Doctor about sending you the generics… They apparently don’t. My doctor has no record of them ever speaking with him.

Stop buying into this concept of cheaper is always better!

Sometimes cheaper is just another word for shitty.

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Armstrong to be stripped of Titles?

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Lance Armstrong to be stripped of  titles retroactively?

Is it me? or is this complete and utter Bullshit?

Even if he was doping back in the day you couldn’t catch him. So he WON… The race and he beat your tests. So make better tests.

If you make better tests and you still didn’t catch him. Guess what? He WON again on both counts.

And with the exception of a couple of possibly false positives Mr. Armstrong consistently won the Tour de France, doing so even after a battle with cancer.

Mr Armstrong has always denied using performance enhancing drugs. I honestly don’t think he was getting away with anything. I think he’s just that good and trains that hard.

Sadly Mr. Armstrongs name has become synonymous with performance enhancing drugs or doping. 

I, as the average “Joe” on the street am sick of hearing about it.

Honestly, it’s always sounded like the French were being whiney assed bitches who somehow thought that the Tour de France was supposed to be won by a Frenchman, and when it wasn’t they cried foul.

I guess it really hurts their national pride such as it is, that they kept getting their asses kicked by an American!

What does this tell any other competitors?

“Be good but throw the occasional event so that you’re not TOO GOOD.” Mediocrity is preferred… After all you don’t  hurt someones feelings now do you?

I’m glad Mr Armstrong chose to say FUCK IT! After all it was obvious that he wasn’t going to be left alone no matter what. In a no win scenario you might as well not play. This is especially true when you have a decades long Witch Hunt leveled against you.

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Then you look at Michael Phelps… there was controversy about whether the IOC was going to pull his medals because he did a photo shoot that was going to be part of his endorsement contracts after his retirement.

Apparently the photos were taken before he retired but they weren’t published until after he retired. 

There’s no break of the rules here. 

But since Phelps was too good someone went looking for something to spank him with.

This is one of the concerns I personally have.

People have always sought to tear down those that they perceived as privileged, wealthy, good looking, stars, or top athletes. This is nothing new.

But now, there are so many ways to tear someone apart. If it’s not naughty pictures, (See Prince Harry) it’s via the rule of law, or simply questioning ones sexual habits. Hell even ones beliefs or religious affiliations can be enough to trail blood in the water.

Once the trickle of metaphorical blood appears in the news (or tabloids, they’re interchangeable these days) the rest of the world attacks like ravenous sharks in a feeding frenzy.

I have to ask why?

These people are human, just like the rest of us. They’ll make poor choices and mistakes just like all the rest of us. Why then are we so quick to rip them apart and not give them the benefit of the doubt?

When did we become so unforgiving and judgmental?

Lance… Great Job! Thanks for representing the US so well

Michael… Fanfuckingtastic! You deserve every single bit of success and I hope your retirement is everything you planned for.

Harry… Dude… I hope you can get back to Vegas or Monaco soon, get naked, party hardy and live your life. Next time… just make sure there are no cell phones or cameras. Have your security confiscate them at the door. (BTW Nice Bum!)