Category: Male

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It’s been a weird busy week.

Not that I’m complaining about it. 

The week has been a weird one. It’s the one year anniversary of Jerry’s death. I was feeling it a little, but nothing unexpected, and in a way, now that I’ve been through a whole year there’s a sense of relief.

Part of it is distance from him having died and part of it is that now that I’ve been through all the holidays and special days I’m somewhat relieved and confident about having survived. Oh sure I was a little melancholy and nostalgic…

I’m still standing.

Monday into Tuesday

I was struck by the memory that on those dates it was the beginning of the end. I’d seen him carried out the door to the hospital unconscious and unresponsive. Most of that memory was fear and intense worry coupled with trying to convince myself that everything was going to be okay.

Just a few days later he was dead.

Wednesday

Nothing much happened, I was cleaning and tossing but the day passed in a bit of a fog

Thursday,

Was the actual date… The day Jerry died. I spent with the dog, quietly. 

Friday

I was at the temple for service and that was nice. It was music Jerry arranged or had a particular fondness for. After the service, one of the congregants said they were still upset and a little angry that Jerry had passed on. They said, “You must still be feeling that way too.” 

“Oddly,” I explained, “I don’t. I still miss him terribly, but we had 34 years together. Most of those years were good ones. The years we had were more than many people get. Divorce, illness, accidents, all cut time spent with someone. That we found each other, loved, and endured for all that time was a gift. Of course I’d like to have more time but I’m thankful for what I got.”

The congregant nodded and said I had a good attitude. I suppose maybe I do.

Saturday 

I had a lot on fun and pretty much spent all day yesterday laughing my ass off. 

A long overdue get together with two men I’ve known for 44 years finally happened. We had a drink, in my case two… we wandered, talked, laughed, and enjoyed being together once again.

This get together should have been called the Fixed Income tour!  It was the first time that all three of us got together after having retired.

We met when we were starting out, I remember those first paychecks, waiting in line to buy gas, and wondering why so much of our puny paychecks was whittled away in taxes. 

What I didn’t know then was that these friends would in fact remain lifelong friends who cared, and for whom I cared, about all these years.

To be honest, a shit ton of people pass through our lives. Some of them you’re happy to see go, others you can’t hold onto, time and life pulls you apart, and the last and best category are friends that are constants like stars in the sky.

(Yes, I know stars aren’t forever… Shut it! Science brain. I’m waxing all poetical… The stars in the sky will outlast us and the planet!)

Yesterday  I managed to walk right past a couple of Pro-Palestein protestors with their flags and stupid slogans and not challenge them. My two friends were hanging back a bit as we passed, whether to help if I lost control and shot my mouth off, or to just laugh if shot my mouth off and started a riot, I’m not sure. Perhaps a bit of both…

When we were going to pass the protestor’s spot again I wished I had a lighter because I wondered if I could legally burn their flags. The question popped out of my head following the logic that you can burn an American flag with impunity so why not a foreign flag?

It appeared that the Palestinian protestors had gone home for the day, protesting and waving flags being such hard work. (Dudes, you didn’t have to go to the gym on arms day!)  I presume they were drowning their sorrows about Gaza with a lovely half caf double latte, a hot meal prepared by someone else, and a bong full of the latest variation of pot they’d procured. Their lives are, after all, soooo difficult. 

I was gratified to note that there were only two Palestinian flags and it didn’t look like a lot of people were paying attention to the protestors. Maybe as Americans tend to do, we’re just getting bored hearing about it. Seen any Ukraine flags lately?

I suggested at one point that perhaps the three of us could go on a stealing spree through all the high end stores at the Glendale Galleria in keeping with the times. There was some question about what exactly the cash limit was before it became a felony. Since all of us are planners and have expensive tastes we couldn’t come to consensus about what we could steal and how much. Next time though…

We’re gonna shock the world as the “Geriatric Three”. At our ages it would be the perfect capper to our lives. Mug Shots in our 60s! I wonder if the police are more afraid of arresting old guys than young guys? The young guys are more like brawlers in a school yard, lots of swinging but not much damage.

Old guys though, well, we’re JUST PLAIN MEAN! Next time I see one of the local sheriffs maybe I’ll ask.

I even noticed I was “Hunting” there were some interesting people at the mall and I wasn’t being too subtle about checking them out. It’s been a year, I could start dating again without it being unseemly. I noticed I was doing something I swore I’d never do, I was being a little chicken-hawkish. Some of the guys I was noticing were so young, mid 30s to early 40s. My god! They could easily be my kid!

They were safe… The only way I could’ve caught them was if I was riding on one of those mobility scooters you see old folks riding in the park. The eye candy was nice. I knew some of them were pretty to look at but wholly incompatible with me or any of my beliefs. Perhaps it’s just as well that time and age is slowing me down a bit.

The way my knee was acting up toward the end of the day, I’m probably going to be in the market for a good cane soon. When I got home last night I think the health app said I’d walked 7 miles yesterday. I know I’d walked 1.5 miles with the dog in the early morning before heading to Glendale but was surprised that the total had ended up so high.

My knee didn’t start really acting up until later in the day. I’d tweaked it again on Wednesday or Thursday and had to ice it.

All told yesterday, aside from being slow to start working after we’d been sitting for a while, it wasn’t too bad,  It’s probably a sign that I should increase my walking distance and start stretching a bit more to continue rebuilding strength in both knees. 

One of my friends described being at a Mall as something approximating Hell in his estimation. After seeing Duck-lipped women, men with painted fingernails wearing too short, “skinny jeans” as fashion statements, and too many languages to count he might have a point. 

I’m reminded that I’ve been fairly isolated, preferring to stick close to home. Some would say it’s a holdover from the COVID lockdowns, in truth, it started prior to COVID. I’d been living in San Diego and in close contact due to apartment dwelling, and I’d become super tired of people in general.

The point is, that because I’ve not been around a lot of folks I’m even more uncomfortable in crowds these days. Not that I’m a germaphobe but I’m mindful that my immune system hasn’t needed to be as active in recent years as it had in the past. Without being exposed to the filth of humanity daily, your immune system starts eating Bon Bons and doing its nails.

So I might end up with some stupid late winter cold, but being out in the world with my friends was totally worth it.

The next time we get together perhaps it should be here. We could cook out on the grill, listen to music, and laugh watching the sun track across the mountains, while listening to the sound of light breezes in the trees. Bonus, the dog would be happy with new people to annoy!

The dog is currently pissed at me. He was alone two consecutive nights and missed our ball time. Thankfully the temps have been very moderate but both nights the wind picked up before I got home. He hates the wind!  So last night he pointed the stinky end at me and slept at the foot of the bed.

I’m going to have to make it up to him. 

But that will have to wait until tomorrow. 

Today, Sunday, I’m going to lunch with one of Jerry’s friends and then I’m looking forward to resting a bit on Monday.

Then it’s back to sorting and tossing the accumulated crap. I’m still shooting for having the house on the market in spring. If something happens between now and then to change that desire, it will still be okay because I wont’ have a bunch of crap.

I hope everyone is in as good a space as I am. Uh OH, the Dog is looking for me. It’s time for me to get dressed and take him for a walk.

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Staffer who filmed himself getting buttfucked in Senate Hearing room fired…

Hmm. 

I don’t know what the Senate is so upset about.

That guy getting fucked in their chamber is probably the single most honest thing that’s happened in that room in decades.

Call it truth in advertising!

The young man is a metaphor for the citizens of the United States. 

Every time congress votes to send more money to Ukraine or print more money, or lie to us about inflation they’re fucking us all in the ass.

At least that boy gave us an appropriate visualization of the workings of congress.

I’m sorry I couldn’t provide a better image. Strangely, it looks like the internet is missing tons of images lifted from the film. I had to settle for this one from Breitbart. 

The Democrats really hate being humiliated don’t they? Deletion programs at the NSA must be running overtime. On the plus side, at least it wasn’t Hunter again.

I’m sure in a month the video will show up on “OnlyFans”.

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December 1st ????

This year has flown by!

Pretty soon it’s going to be snowy again.

I guess it’s not really surprising. Time seems to slip by faster as we get older. (At least I’ve noticed it more.) I’ve had a lot on my mind and been working through a bunch more emotional stuff. With those kinds of distractions it was easy for the time to slip  away.

On the plus side of things, Over the past week or so, I’ve been feeling lighter,  while I’m still unsure about a lot of things I don’t feel as weighted down or crushed as I have for the past year.

This isn’t just because we’re in the “Festive Season”. I haven’t even decided if I’m going to do the tree thing this year or not. It’s just me and the dog and Santa isn’t likely to come down my chimney.

I think there’s been enough time pass that there’s distance between Jerry’s passing and right here, right now. I miss him but it’s not the sharp dagger that it was. 

I make no guarantees about how I’ll feel mid January. But this first year of holidays and seasons changing has been hard. Two more to go and I’ll have survived them all. 

I’m not trying to rush the season, but I feel like making it to mid January is a milestone and somehow after that, I’ll be less burdened or sad. I have no proof that will be the case but it “Feels” that way.

It’s time to bust out the Die Hard Franchise, and Lethal Weapon just because they’re Christmassy I know Bruce Willis would disagree but Die Hard has been such a tradition for years I can’t resist.

It’s getting easier for me to toss things in the trash. It sounds stupid but after spending years worrying if I was throwing something of the other half’s away that was important. I was having a tough time getting over the habit. Nothing of his is important to him anymore, the only important any of it has is that which I assign to it.

I’m noticed I’m happier because the house looks less cluttered. There’s still a long way to go but it’s better and improves my general outlook on life too. 

I’m moving in the direction that I want to go. Whether I keep this place, or pack everything up and move, I’ll still need to be free of tons of useless stuff. Long range, my plan is to clear enough of the garage out that I can move my stuff from a storage facility up here. That will save me some cash monthly, and allow me to sort, sell, or trash stuff I don’t want or need.

If I’m going to move, I want the moving truck to be as small as possible.

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Well yesterday was interesting.

I got up, filled the car with gas and washed it, came home, walked the dog (as best I could given the heavy equipment running incessantly,) ate lunch, showered and played ball with the dog for an hour or so then saddled up and drove to Palm Springs.

I was expecting the grueling stop and go traffic that has become so common every hour of the day or night here. So I left early for an appointment out in PS.

Thing is, traffic wasn’t the usual insanity. In fact it was a pleasure driving. That’s something I haven’t experienced in California for a very long time.

The last time(s) the freeways were this open I can count on one hand. Sept 11, A day without a Mexican, and the height of COVID panic. 

No, Really, I’m not being racist. The organizers called it, “A Day Without a Mexican”. It was a protest organized by an organization that helped illegal aliens and they wanted to make the point about how many Mexicans provided various services such as labor, to the Los Angeles region. The whole thing backfired spectacularly. 

As requested, the Mexican labor force didn’t show up to work. And the freeways were blissfully wide open. No broken down cars or trucks littering the I-10. No gardening equipment was bouncing randomly on the 405 during rush hour. And no one was inconvenienced at all at any of the fast food joints. The whole thing was so noticeable AM and FM radio personalities were saying we needed to have “A Day without a Mexican” on a regular basis.

I think the organization the set the protest up is no longer around. I haven’t heard anything like their rhetoric for a very long time.

Anyhow, I was moving along so well, and the online freeway maps were all showing green, that I dropped into the Apple Store and purchased this nifty little charging stand. It was inexpensive and super neat, ( I wish I’d thought of it!)

If you’ve got an Apple Watch, you’re familiar with the magnetic charging puck you set your watch on to recharge. Apple makes a bigger version for charging iPhones. I’ve had the iPhone charging puck for a few years. The problem with the thing is that it’s not anchored to anything and it’s light enough that if you pick your phone up, the puck stays attached to your phone, so you put stress on the cable, and if you’re in a hurry you’ll pull the phone off the puck and the puck lands on your desk, nightstand, or counter, with a bang. 

In my case the wooden nightstand. The puck has enough weight to ding the top of furniture. Especially if it lands edge on.

IMG 0078The nifty little stand I purchased lets you snap the Apple charging puck into it and then holds your phone via the magnetic puck at a nice viewing angle. It also allows you to use a new feature in IOS that turns your iPhone into a very nice bedside clock.

I like that the phone is up off the nightstand, (so I don’t put my water glass on it, mistaking it for a coaster in the middle of the night,) and I found a clock face on my phone that is nostalgic. This particular face is reminiscent of an old Sunbeam electric alarm clock in my parents room when I was a child. My mom kept that bedside alarm clock until the grinding of the gears kept her up at night. Yeah, we’re talking analog, with a gear train and it was always warm to the touch due to the a/c motor and neon lamp inside.

Goofy as it sounds, seeing that face in the night makes me feel like “I’ve Arrived…”

Arrived at what, I don’t know. Perhaps the stage where nostalgia puts a smile on my face.

Apple Store purchase completed, I got back on the road to Palm Springs. And I flew! Just being able to drive without dealing with morons blocking the freeway because they were texting, jerking off, smoking dope, or finger banging themselves was bliss! 

I love my car, but I really love my car when I can open it up.

Admittedly, there were a couple of times yesterday when I punched through the inevitable knots of stupidity before those knots fully formed and “solidified”.

I punched through these tiny annoyances at 95MPH. 

FUN!!!!

I wasn’t in a hurry, I was just enjoying the power and smoothness of a machine that I really enjoy. 

The down side to my enthusiasm, is that I arrived at my appointment 30 minutes early. It would have been 45 minutes early, but for the Apple store stop!

After that appointment, I’d planned to meet a friend at one of the bars in the area. The plan was to have a couple of drinks and then wander off in search of food. Whoops! Last weekend was Palm Springs Pride. The weekend before that was Palm Springs Leather Pride. Several of the bars that I like were closed on a Tuesday night due to “Pride” fatigue.

REALLY!!???

Pussies! In my misspent youth I was the energizer fucking bunny! Party Starting Thursday Night go to work Friday Morning, with clothes stashed in the trunk of my car “just in case”, and party right on through the weekend, go to work Monday morning and I was driving all over hells half acre to bars and friends places.

(Honestly, I don’t know how the hell I did it. Oh, right… There was speed involved! Uhhh, well, okay, I retract my earlier “Pussies” comment.)

I met my friend outside the closed bar we were planning to meet in, his dog recognized me after 3.5 – 4 years of not seeing me. My friend recognized me too, which felt amazing since he looked so damn nice and I feel that I’m aging poorly and at an accelerated rate!

We negotiated the bar closures, and several restaurant closures to find ourselves sitting out on a patio having a lovely dinner & drinks. 

We caught up, and enjoyed each other’s company. Then as these things go, it was time to call it a night. My friend had an early morning and I had a long assed drive. 

Fortunately, I was once again able to enter the time warp on the freeway, and got home at a decent hour.

IMG 2933

Jesse was throughly displeased with me.

I think he might have thought he’d been left alone forever. He was outside, it wasn’t too cold, he had food and water, but the house was dark and he might have remembered the events of January. Maybe he thought he’d lost me, I’m not sure.

When I got home, the lights turned on automatically, the garage door opening may have woke him. When I stepped out onto the deck I was greeted with happy zoomies, then several balls were dropped at my feet. 

Then… My dog slut shamed me!

No I hadn’t had sex, but I had been with another dog so for the next 15 minutes every inch of me was sniffed. The look on Jesse’s face was really funny. On the one hand he was glad I was home, on the other hand he’d caught me cheating. Last night, he wasn’t letting me out of his sight. He went so far as to keep grabbing my arm. 

I learned that I don’t like being away from him for extended periods. All told I was gone about 8-9 hours. I missed him. I think we need to start going places together. This is going to be a pain in the ass at first, but I would like for him to be able to be a good traveling companion. I think it will be worth the time and effort.

I need to find some decent seat covers!

I was planning to head out to the grocery store this morning. But as upset as Jesse was last night, maybe I’ll wait to do that until tomorrow. There’s a Petco near the grocery store. That would give me the opportunity to shop for seat covers and a padded harness that wouldn’t hurt him in an accident or hard stop if he was secured via a seatbelt.

Now I’m off to make amends by sharing my breakfast.

Have a great day.

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Obviously MEN are better at everything!

Men are better at Sports. We’re better at women’s and men’s sports hands down.

Men are winning Women of the year awards and all we have to do is what we already do best. Dress like a woman and apply makeup better than women do. I’ll admit the tuck and duct tape might be a bit uncomfortable but hey we’re better at dealing with pain too.

Men are stronger, better cooks, painters, drivers, clothing designers, and shoes designers too, (Think Jimmy Cho)!

Men are better at war, science, healing, diplomacy, computer science, and really anything you can name. Obviously, men should be paid more than women!

Most of us can write our initials (some of us our whole names,) in piss, on walls and in sand or snow. How many women can do that? Women don’t think that’s cool, but lots of proud CIS men think it’s cool.

Once artificial wombs are working we’ll be better at reproduction too. Why? Because we have X and Y chromosomes. In the event that women ever become necessary again we have the ability to make them.

Why bother? Women are bad at everything.

Remember that God originally built only Adam. Adam was lonely so God built Eve from Adams rib. If God had built Steve instead of Eve, then perhaps the whole mess with the tree of knowledge and the serpent could have been avoided.

Wake UP PEOPLE!

This is the kind of stupid crap that we were supposed to have eradicated 30 years ago. Yet here we are again. What’s next? Will we force women back into the kitchen to be barefoot and pregnant?

Come on! Stop acting like men dressing like women and taking awards away from Ladies who worked their asses off for them is okay.

This shit isn’t right and we all know it. Stop being afraid to call it out.

If something isn’t right and it’s obviously hurting a select group, aren’t we supposed to speak up and fix the problem? The problem here is asshole men who want 5 minutes in the spotlight because they couldn’t rank against other men, so they beat the shit out of Women in sports and other awards.

Oh, Ladies, the men who stand up against this dumb assed shit, will really need your help and guidance… You know sometimes we’re like bulls in china shops. We need a soft hand on the shoulder with a soft kind voice, letting us know when it’s time to stop.