Category: Mens Health

In general I have pretty good teeth.

I’m very fortunate that I got teeth from a different part of the family gene pool than my Dad.

That’s the upside, well that & apparently a high pain threshold when it comes to tooth problems.

The downside is that sometimes I go along and don’t realize I’ve actually got a problem until something is very wrong.

For example, in my 20s I had a molar literally disintegrate to the gum line and I was ok with it, because there were no fillings to obstruct the degeneration there was almost no pain. It was as simple for me as brushing my teeth 3 or 4 times a day so I didn’t have nasty breath and everything was great until… a dentist saw what was going on. Then all the sudden this was a very bad thing!

Next think I knew I was in a chair, telling the dentist that Novocain, Xylocaine and Lidocaine don’t really work for me and that I was feeling everything he was doing.

“Tut-tut, that’s not possible.” he said. Then he grabbed the messed up tooth with a big ol’ set of pliers and “crunch” the tooth that wasn’t really a big deal to me was a code red alert. The tooth material was compressed at sharp, weird angles around the nerve causing excruciating pain. In other spots the nerve which had been previously enclosed, was now exposed to the air with every breath or swallow.

Trying to find an oral surgeon in that kind of emergency is no picnic and by the way, since the bastard has you by your balls, they’ll charge you whatever they want because they know you’ll pay it even if you have insurance. At the time I was fully covered by a dental policy but that oral surgeon demanded I write a $1000 check before he’d pull the tooth.

I didn’t have a $1000 in the bank at the time. I wrote the check got him to do the work, then after I’d driven to his office and they’d sedated me is when they tell me I can’t drive home. FUCK! 

I managed to get someone to come pick me up. I slept drugged that night and when I woke up the next morning I was pissed off. I called the bank and cancelled the check. Then I called the insurance company and told the tale to them. I never heard from the dentist or the oral surgeon again.

I did have a lawyer on standby just in case… I’ve never thought the “Marathon Man” scene should be played out in real life and I refuse to be held hostage. I remember telling the Oral surgeon “You’ll get your fucking money.” Just before he put me out, by that time it was 5 hours since the first idiot had shattered the tooth. I was extremely hostile.

Flash forward into my forties and I’m at work, sitting at my desk nursing a cold or so I thought.

Turns out I was grey (Showing my Alien heritage I guess, it’s ashamed that I didn’t get the big brain and telepathic abilities, sigh.)

One of my co-workers suggested that I might want to go see a dentist since the cold/sinus infection was lasting such a long time.

After some thought, I gave my dentist (A good guy) a call and they arranged to see me immediately. After 1 X-ray, and a whistle of surprise from the dentist I’m under the drill.

There was actually a hiss of gas escaping when the top of that tooth came off. 

I immediately felt better. It was like a switch being thrown.

The dentist hit me with another pain shot and in the 3 minutes it took him to go prep for the root canal, I fell asleep right there in the chair. I was just exhausted!

I left that dentist because they started bringing in newbie dentists who honestly weren’t up to par. The last dentist I saw there was a woman who didn’t understand when a guy tells you KEEP DRILLING! FINISH IT! I can take the pain, just don’t back off. Uhh, girly, WE FREAKIN MEAN IT! That filling has never been right and I refused to go back.

There have been other dentists too. There was the gay dentist in Long Beach, he was ok but had a staff that was less than easy to deal with.

His assistant whom I referred to as Nurse Ratchet couldn’t seem to get that a filling they’d done was higher than it should have been and that I grind my teeth at night.

She ground it down a bit but wouldn’t go get the dentist. I think by that time I may have already broken the tooth from grinding at night.

She was probably panicked but she could have gotten the dentist. She could have told me what was up. Instead she dismissed me like I was yesterdays fish.

Which led me to question the quality of care I was receiving, and led me to my favorite dentist.

My favorite dentist recently retired.

She sold the practice to a nice enough young guy, who’s done all kinds of upgrades and has hygienists, and assistants, and office people running all over the place.

He’s doing the typical “Dentist” thing, letting the staff do most of the work and then he checks stuff maybe does a filling or whatever, then is gone. 

My old dentist had one assistant. Her husband manned the front desk after he retired from his first career.

She did all the work herself. I drove 75 miles to see her because she did all the work and she listened.

In the 4 years I saw her, she never had to use anesthetic on me. She did several fillings and we had no problem.

Flash forward into my 50s and the tooth in the same position, on the other side of my head is acting, well weird.

Since the new guy was just like all the other “Factory” dentists today. I came to the conclusion that I didn’t need to drive 75 miles or pay outrageously high prices to have work done.

So I’ve found a new dentist. The office is a FACTORY! 10 chairs, people running all over the place, patients waiting, children running up & down the place. You know, chaos!

I went in to find out what’s up with the tooth that’s bugging me. This dentist comes highly recommended and has a good chair side manner.

It turns out the tooth is cracked and needs a crown. The dentists website said they could do this stuff while you wait.

Apparently not, instead they did an exam, cleaning, and were being really cagy about the costs. I just want the damn problem fixed! Give me an estimate and then I’ll make a decision.

Oh no! we have to do this fucking dance.

The price they finally quoted me was better than the first guy.

But then I find out my dental insurance doesn’t cover the crown, (Fine by me) but for the dentist staff apparently that was a problem.

They hand me a bunch of paperwork which leads you to believe that the dentist will work with you.

I’m thinking I can scrape together about half of the bill and figure if the dude could give me 90 days I can pay the other half. So I’m thinking great that’ll work.

Except that’s not the way they do things. They direct me to a credit card company…

Yep, you read that right, a medical credit card.

This card also works for Vet bills too, I think that’s an interesting connection. I may have to start taking the dogs drugs.

I haven’t worked in 2 years I hardly think a credit card company is going to say, “Sure! Lets give you a credit card.” 

Really? I’m trying to not run up credit bills. I don’t want more credit cards. I’ve been closing accounts.

Why? Because I’m over paying interest and living above my means. I know absolutely where that leads and I don’t want to do it anymore. (I’ll have a credit card, because in an emergency it could be a lifesaver. I’m just not looking for 80 lines of credit.)

But the dentist wants his money before he begins treatment.

This tooth ain’t getting any happier, and I don’t want to go through the exam dance with yet another dentist to get an estimate.

I guess I’ll call this an emergency and charge it. On one of my emergency cards.

I just find myself asking the same question I’ve been asking for years. Why is medical care so damn expensive?

If ever the government could have stepped in to make a real difference in our lives it would have been by finding out what the REAL cost of care is.

Then publish those costs and let the consumer decide.

As an example, the cost difference between my new dentist and the guy my old dentist sold her practice to, is $450. Yep, same procedure, same everything but $450 less at the new dentist.

That’s the question the government should have been answering. Why is there such a variance and is it justified?

I guarantee the prices would have gone down if the consumer had some guide about the real costs of time, materials, and treatment.

With this kind of information, a consumer could tell a doctor their quoted costs are way out of line.

Which means Medics would have to compete, not just live under the yoke of government or private insurance providers.

As a point of interest, I’d probably have had a pricing discussion with my old dentist.

I’d have told her flat out $1700 is way too much. We’d have negotiated a solution, even if the solution was a bit higher priced than going to a “Factory” setting. There’s something to be said for paying a higher price for really personal care.

But you can’t have that kind of discussion with the office staff, they’re just following orders aren’t they?

I’m going to be in a dentists chair for a while in the near future. 

I’ll be counting the individual pains and annoyances then I’ll divide the price I’m paying by the number of pains to figure out how much I could charge a masochist for an hour of pain.

Hey, if you think about it, it’s a great way to price out BDSM services!

I know you didn’t see that coming…

Have a great day.