Category: Mens Health

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That unhealthy glow

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I’m a dumbshit! I totally admit it. Laugh all you want, I can take it.

Yesterday the sun was warm and the sky was blue, there was a gentle breeze and I thought;

“It’s a perfect day to spend a little time on the deck.”

So I took my glass of water, my Kindle, and my fat ass outside, without a shirt, and settled in a lounge chair.

I was only outside a little while… OK 40 minutes and my chest and belly are sunburned to beat the band.

I know better!

I never do shit like that without sunscreen on. 

So guys… learn from my stupidity, watch yourselves and your kids in the sun.

With the upcoming 4th of July celebrations we’re all going to be outside a bit more. 

Be a good example to your family, apply sunscreen with them  not just to them.

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The annual exams of this old carcass are almost done.

vitruvianOnly one more MD appointment and then I’m hopefully done for the year.

Dealing with the medical stuff as we get older is a royal pain in the ass. I’m not in poor health, but even now I find myself longing for the days when I needed Zero help from any physician.

My eyes aren’t what they once were. My sinuses are a mess, and the doctors are always hounding me about my diet, exercise and a litany of other age related concerns.

None of the things the Docs are mentioning are “In the RED” they’re just little things that seem to happen as we age. Of course the medical profession says “we have a medication for that”. I’ll be far more impressed when the medical profession says we can fix that problem for another 30 years!

Yeah, give me a drug or procedure that reverses the issue for 20 or 30 years and I’ll submit to it. I’m not one of those people that is going to willingly take a fist full of drugs 3 times a day. Besides the expense, the side effects are usually murder.

I can tell you this… I eat meat! I’m not going to stop eating meat and if that means that I don’t live quite as long so be it.

What’s the point of living a long life if it’s a life devoid of the little pleasures? I’d much rather be happy than ancient and sad.

Like most men, my preferred death would be to pass on during the most mind blowing orgasm of my life. I’d like to arrive at the gates of heaven roaring in pleasure,  semi hard, and dripping.

I like that image for no other reason than it would be fun freak out all the pious religious people who missed out on so much because they lived in terror of an afterlife of punishment.

I’ve got this twisted view that God shakes his finger at you for not enjoying the gift of life and the joys our bodies were built to have. What a waste if you didn’t enjoy everything the world had to offer.

I know that’s not the mainstream view but then again… I’m not and never have been mainstream.

I hope everyone has a great Fathers Day. Now go find some time to do what made you Fathers in the first place.

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Sometimes you can’t just “Walk it off”

For the past couple of months I’ve been having problems with my sinuses. I was annoyed and thought that I’d had 3 minor colds over the past four months.

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Like most guys I ignored it. I’d apparently get over the cold and be good for a few weeks then have a new minor cold again. These bouts were irritating and I was thinking “Wow, getting old is a stone bitch.” I’d begun to wonder if a cold a month was what I had to look forward to for the rest of my life.

Then about 2 weeks ago I developed yet another cold. This one however was different. I was coughing and hacking, my throat was swollen, I was sleeping sitting up and my sinuses were completely shut. If you’d held a hand over my mouth I’d have suffocated.

I was thinking, “OK, the previous colds have just run me down, now this one and all the pollen in the air has just combined to form a perfect storm”. Well After a week of getting a little better during the day then not sleeping at night… then a particularly rough night of coughing and hacking (I could get maybe one or two breaths between coughing bouts) I finally called my Doctor.

I described the symptoms including nose bleeds and colors of sinus discharges (who knew greenish yellow was bad?). The receptionist relayed the information to the Doc and he phoned in RXs to my local pharmacy.

After two and a half days on the meds I’m feeling pretty darn good. Most of all I’m sleeping… a lot! Tuesday & Wednesday escaped me. I happily napped and slept deeply both days and nights.

I really ought to pay more attention… My first clue that I was really sick should have been that I hadn’t been interested in sex for over a week. That’s sex of any kind… alone, with someone, naughty videos, nothing. I think the new rule is going to be if I’m not interested in sex… Call the Doctor stat!

I’m actually happy that the pollen and everything else brought this to a head. I’m planning some Summer trips and feeling crappy while you’re supposed to be enjoying yourself is never fun.

One friend described me as the Black Knight from Monty Pythons Holy Grail “It’s just a flesh wound“.

I’m antsy now. There are so many things that need to be done in the yard. The grass / weeds combination is out of control. I’m itching to get the weed whacker and go to town. There are a lot of little projects that I wanted to be done with already.

I suspect that’s how I’ve had a low grade infection for months on end… I’d start to feel better and then overdo it. So I’m going to relax… rest, watch TV maybe even a naughty film or two and wait for my body to finish the repairs.

There’s time enough to do the projects and those that don’t get done… well maybe they just didn’t need doing.