Category: Men

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Restless…

My eyes open. Something has disturbed my sleep, I listen for any strange sound.

Crickets and wind.

The house is illuminated enough for me to see clearly. Tell tales and indicator lights on every single piece of electronics combine to create a kaleidoscope of light. 

The green indicator on the smoke detector on the ceiling winks red briefly. This potentially signals dust in the unit or time to replace the battery, I’ll have to service the unit tomorrow… today.

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The intense red light on the bedroom TV tells me that the unit is off but has power from the wall. I wonder if I can turn that light off then worry about the TV having wall power if it doesn’t come on when I press the switch.

I’m informed by the bedside clock, that it’s 2am in full color and that the unit had been able to sync to the atomic time beacon. The clocks EL panel flares brightly as it comes back on. During the sync, the panel is turned off so that the clock can “hear” the beacon better.

I get out of bed, I need some water. 

Green light from the hall smoke detector paints a circle on the floor lighting my way to the kitchen.

The kitchen is illuminated by the clocks in the stove and the microwave. Further illumination is provided by the EL panel in the alarm system keypad.

Yet more light spills from the living room, a byproduct of a digital picture frame. I get a glass, as I press the glass against the water dispenser in the door of the fridge, bright white LEDs flare to life blinding me momentarily.

Impulsively I switch off the digital picture frame… it’s ever changing images are annoying out of the corner of my eye.

The darkness advances a little bit but is beaten back by the clock in the cable box, the backlight of the thermostat, and light from the appliances in the kitchen.

I move through the living room drinking my water. From the slider I can see the towns on the desert floor their lights twinkling in the distance.

I grouchily consider replacing the LEDs throughout the house with simple diodes. If something doesn’t work then I’ll investigate why.

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Why are we so afraid of the dark? Why can’t we turn off the lights on our ever so helpful equipment?

Maybe it’s just me… I’ve always had great night vision, maybe all these indicators and tell tales aren’t annoying to most other folks.

Then, I notice the moonlight. The cloud cover has broken, moonlight is bright in the yard. I step onto the deck. No one can see me, looking to the East over the roof I can see the moon is almost full.

It somehow feels right to be in the moonlight. I can see clearly and while I’m a little chilly It’s nice to have a moment of freedom.

Still don’t know what woke me up. 

I finish my water, look around for a little while longer, then head back inside.

My head hits the pillow, and I sleep soundly till sunrise.

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Absolute Silence…

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Today I’d intended to go out and fire up the weed whacker. The yard is a mess & I hadn’t really noticed until yesterday, I don’t’ know how I missed it.

But when I got up this morning, I encountered an unusual silence. No cars, no motorcycles, no power tools in the distance, absolutely nothing.

At first I thought the power must be out. A quick check showed all the clocks, and digital indicators were powered up. Then I remembered it’s Fathers Day. 

I guess dads all over town are taking a day off from their weekend chores. Maybe today they’re having leisurely breakfasts, and perhaps a roll in the hay before dispensing hugs of thanks for the macaroni cards and silly ties. Then they’re opening shiny new tools that they’ll use next weekend.

In the meantime the only sounds I can hear are the birds chirping, and the breeze in the trees. I’m thankful for the silence and I don’t want to disturb the status quo.

I’m afraid if anyone makes any noise at all then all the sounds of mankind will suddenly intrude.

Even the tapping sounds of my keyboard seems loud right now. 

It’s probably just as well that I’m sitting quietly and enjoying the peace & quiet. I didn’t sleep well. My experience has been that if I mix power tools with lack of sleep, bad things tend to happen. I’ll just deal with the yard tomorrow when the construction crew starts up in the wash again.

Happy Fathers day all.

Enjoy the silence.

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NSFW This is Officially the 666th blog post.

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So in honor of this auspicious occasion, I decided to throw something out here that is worthy of the number 666.

Here goes.

Like all men, I like to get my rocks off as often as I can.

I’m a master masturbator and I can absolutely say I’ve never had my hand fall asleep stroking my dick.

I have on occasion fallen asleep while stroking my dick but it wasn’t my hands fault…

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Sex is one of those things that I don’t think I get enough of. I mean I could have sex… and presented with another opportunity 1/2 hour (or less) later I’m going to be interested.

Like most men I like having my dick sucked. I really like having my balls licked, kissed & sucked too. If someone is willing to do that on command then I’m totally into it.

Anyone who wants to suck my dick is welcome to do it. Just let me get comfortable, have a drink and you can crawl between my legs and stay there for as long or as many loads as you’d like.

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I love standing above someone on their knees as they bury their noses in my pubes. I like the submission and at the same time knowing that they’re getting to do exactly what they want. My dick is their pleasure.

What I’d never acknowledged (even to myself) until very recently was that I like the power.

I totally get off on it.

“Lick my balls! ” What a thrill it is to bark that order at someone and have them jump to it.

“Suck my dick.” and have a willing supplicant allow me to hold their head and choke them sliding my dick in & out of their mouth and down their throat.

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But shoving my dick down someones throat while I’m grunting and shooting my jiz into their waiting mouth and watching it back up spilling down their chin and dripping onto their body really gets my motor running.

Don’t get me wrong, I like to fuck too. Someone offering themselves to me begging me to penetrate them can be a real turn on.

I recently was in a situation where I got completely in the moment (so to speak) and something clicked in my head as I held a partners head and used their mouth & throat.

What clicked was This is fucking awesome I’m completely in control and they’re loving being taken. In fact the rougher I was the better we both seemed to like it.

In the end I was just face fucking them, bouncing my balls off their cheek and honest to god I was relishing their struggle to breathe.

When I blew my load they greedily sucked and swallowed. However when I got to a position that I could see their face, my cum was running down their face onto the pillow. I liked that they’d be smelling my jizz all night long.

I kept making ’em suck my dick even though I was softening, feeding the last of my load down that greedy throat.

Even now sitting here writing about it, I’ve got a semihard that’s dripping precum from the memory.

If you’re into it… I’m always looking for mouths open and waiting, the line forms to the right.

Let me put my bone in your throat.

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Ughhh! I hate Doctors Appointments

I just remembered I have a Dr Appointment today. I hate doctors appointments, I always feel so… violated.

Well I’ve already had coffee with sugar so there goes the cholesterol screening.

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Oooopps! Oh well.

Been thinking about a lot of things where the Doc is concerned.

I like him a lot but he’s too busy. He’s also recently (within the past year) gotten some new help and frankly they’re snotty little bitches.

Again we go back to the basic question of “Who is the Customer and Who is the service provider?” 

It’s funny how often issues boil down to that simple question.

From Politicians to Physicians, Lawyers to Mechanics, Educators to Customer Service people, it’s always the same. If they forget that you’re the one paying the bill it’s time to remind them.

You can do that by finding someone else or by working your way up the chain of command. All too often we forget that simple truth.

I’ve been contacted more by the satellite company recently than in the previous 10 years I was their customer. All because I told them exactly why I was pulling the plug. I guess $1400 a year gone from a customer that was no trouble and who paid their bill on time due to crappy customer service got their attention.

I know my place. Apparently these new people at my Doctors office don’t know theirs.

I’m asking myself do I want to expend the energy to train them? Or do I want to expend that energy to find a new physician?

In a typical year I see a Doctor only once or twice.

Like most men, It’s gotta be arterial bleeding before I even think about going to a Doc.

Because of that when I fucking call with a problem I don’t want some smart mouth little bitch giving me more attitude than that Snookie woman from Jersey, or one of the Kardashian sluts.

I want straight answers and if I leave a message for the Doc to call me back… He damn well better get the message. 

I’ve been nice and polite and gotten nowhere.

I had hives from something he told me to take last year. I had no idea Hives could be dangerous. I thought they were simply an annoyance. Didn’t matter, I never got a call back from the Doctor. It was the pharmacist at my local Rite Aid who clued me in and helped me out.

I think the Doctor and I are going to have a little discussion about my expectations.

If he can meet those expectations great! if not… I’m going to be looking for a new Doc.

I’ve approached this health thing as a partnership if I’ve become another piece of meat well then we have a major problem.

On the plus side… I’m going to go drinking with some buddies I haven’t seen in a long time. That should be fun.

Maybe then I won’t feel quite so violated…

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Cudos to SendGrid for doing the right thing… Or When Stupid is a crime

Or I could have called this… When Twitter is a weapon.

On Sunday 3/17/2013 a lady attending PyCon in Santa Clara overheard a couple of developers engaging in some sophomoric joking where they were trading sexual innuendos about poorly named devices.

Instead of doing the simple thing like turning around and letting these guys know they were out of line she photographed & tweeted their picture out into the twitterverse.

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Her action caused the two developers to be removed from the convention, one of the guys lost his job and ultimately so did she. This Article is pretty brutal about how they report it.

There is so much that is wrong in this scenario.

This woman had options:

She could have done the human thing and asked the guys to cool it, explaining that they were being offensive.

She could have moved, thereby taking responsibility for her own feelings. (I’m not saying that she should have been required to move, but she could have removed herself from the annoyance.)

She chose to be passive aggressive, snap a photo of the guys (without their knowledge / consent or modeling release) then broadcast that photo to a presumably wide public audience captioned with something identifying them as pigs. Saying essentially HELP ME THEY’RE SEXUALLY HARASSING ME! 

We’ve all sat through sexual harassment training. As I’ve sat through those classes I’ve often thought that the Harassment brush was just a little too broad and biased against men. Women have far greater latitude in what they can say to men and we men have to take it.

I’ve been asked in the workplace if I was circumcised, and how big my dick was by crude Women. I’ve also listened to endless gay jokes and disparaging remarks, from men.

Hell, I’ve been present in rooms where the evil of the WHITE man was being discussed and the suggested solution was that all the white people should be punished. Yeah racism isn’t solely the domain of white people. Racists come in all colors shapes and sizes.

So WHAT?

Next! I simply exited the area when the conversation turned to stuff I didn’t want or need to hear.

I’ve watched woman after woman end good mens careers with the corporate Nuclear weapon of “Harassment” it’s not a new phenomena. I’ve also seen men laughed out of an HR department when they decided to report a woman that was harassing them.

I remember laughing my ass off several years ago when after considerable publicity a female sports reporter was allowed in the locker rooms of male professional teams.

She was then offended by naked men walking around in the locker room. I thought it was a joke, but quickly it escalated into something more. After gaining access to the male locker rooms, she decided that the men should be clothed when she was there. The insanity came to a halt when the teams simply stopped talking to her.

I remember thinking, “Lady that’s why we built locker rooms. Guys would be just as happy changing clothes and showering outside. We created the space so that women and children wouldn’t be offended.”

At the time a number of male sports reported speculated about gaining access to female locker rooms but that was considered creepy.

This situation is also about our collective thin skin, and our psychotic enforcement of  Politically Correct standards on steroids.

You can reasonably expect to be offended by something anytime you’re out in public.

For that matter you can expect to be offended by the crap that passes for entertainment on TV, not to mention the commercials. KIAs booming hip hop commercials come to mind. The Kardashians, uhh hello???

It’s the kid with his pants hanging down his butt.

Or the morbidly obese guy sweating like Niagara Falls in front of you at a fast food joint ordering 2 mega cheese burgers super size fries and a gallon cup of diet coke.

It’s the plumber proudly showing off a hairy plumbers crack.

The gang member flashing signs at an opposing gang in front of a crowd of kids, daring someone in the opposing gang to shoot him, thoughtless of the collateral damage.

It’s the past middle aged woman whose been around the block once too often, braless dressed like a teenage slut.

And it’s the teenager dressed like a slut being upset because people treat her badly.

It’s the Middle Eastern guy screaming and shaking his fist at a veiled woman in a mall, as she shrinks away.

It’s the profane, the obscene, the morally ambiguous.

It’s the self centered dumbasses more interested in texting while they’re driving or walking expecting you to move out of their way because they can’t be bothered to pay attention to someone as lowly as you.

It’s signs with messages you find offensive. Do I need to see salacious advertising for the latest “Falling Star” from Hollywood?

How about booming music with lyrics talking about killing whitie or slappin dat ho ’cause she don’t suck you right.

It’s the gas pump TVs screaming at you while you’re just trying to put gas in your car. while you’re thinking, “why am I paying 4.80 a gallon to be forced to hear this shit?”

In short it’s all the things that we each find offensive, yet put up with and ignore.

These things we take no action about because after all it’s about freedom of expression. Well, freedom… and the undercurrent of fear of getting involved. 

But two men, having a laugh at bawdy innuendo at a convention in public who happen to be in earshot of a woman… and the shit hits the fan.

I think that SendGrid did the right thing firing this woman, I also think they should apologize to the developers who were removed from the conference and they should pay the developers companies for the lost conference fees.

Moreover, I think this should serve as a call to arms.

The time for draconian Politically Correct enforcement is past. it’s time for some of us to grow thicker skins, and stop trying to see offense in every situation.

It’s also time to stop denigrating being Male.

Face it men are different. Aside from our cocks and balls. We think differently and look at the world differently. As a result our jokes and what we find funny will be reflective of those differences. 

It’s time to let men be men.

Ladies, believe it or not, if you simply ask us to play nice… We will.