Category: Being a man

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Normally I like Fall.

This time of year is usually one of my favorites.

It’s a time of changing leaves, cool temperatures, and relative peace.

Not this year.

This year, it’s me against nature. It also signals that soon I’ll be trapped into being here another 5 months. Even though I have no immediate plans to get the hell out of California, it’s a psychological barrier. One simply doesn’t change homes in the snow. I did it once a long time ago and learned my lesson.

We’re having a cold snap that is impairing my ability to finish painting the trim of the house. I started this project and then injured my knee. I’d started the project in the narrow window between the completion of the repairs from the water damage and now.

I thought at the time, “it will be tight but I’ll have time to finish before Winter.” Then I hurt my knee and spent 3 weeks hobbling around like an old man barely able to stand up.

You know that you’re hurt bad when the dog keeps licking your foot and leg, and doesn’t even react when you head to the door. It’s like the dog is saying, “Dude, you can walk yourself, you sure as hell can’t walk me!”

The licking can be bothersome but it’s sweet in its way. The pup is just trying to make you feel better as he would another dog. I take it as a sign that he’s decided we’re a pack.

The knee is getting better daily. I’ve been able to do much of the project by chipping away at it. I’ll work until my knee says, “That’s enough,” I’ve made good progress but I’m worried that I won’t be able to complete the project before it’s too cold to finish painting. Did you know that paint wont set up correctly below certain temperatures? I didn’t, until I moved here.

The other winterizing project that I have yet to do, is cleaning out the gutters. That, like painting requires that I be on a ladder. The more time I spend on a ladder, the less time I have to actually do the project before the knee starts “Bidening” (Calling a lid on the day). That’s a project that has got to get done, because otherwise water backs up in the gutters and then freezes, causing problems throughout the entire Winter.

The last project for Winter, is annoying but can be done regardless of the temperature. Unfortunately, it also means that I have to be on a ladder and climbing around in the attic. (There’s that ladder thing again!)

I’ve got to get in the attic crawlspace and retape the ductwork. We had some work done last year up in the attic and I think one or more of the ducts got pushed around, perhaps creating leaks between the ductwork and the registers. It happens, I didn’t notice the problem until months after the workmen had left because their work was done in the time between needing to run either the A/C or the heat.

You can do ductwork stuff in the Summer with the roof broiling in the sun and the attic is 120°F or you can do it in the fall when attic temps are more reasonable. I’ve chosen the latter.

Thinking about it, I should also clean out the dryer vent. That may be a “today” kind of project because it’s 35°F outside and windy. (So, no painting today!) As a bonus, there’s no ladder required.

All of this is to say,

Welcome to Fall!

It also serves as an explanation of why I’ve not been blogging as much as usual.

I’ve scanned the news recently. Nothing much has changed.

I could sum up the news like this, “We’re all gonna die, the government is out of money, one group or another is pissed off about something, and everything is going to hell in a hand basket.”

There, now you don’t have to watch the evening news. Instead, turn off the TV, shut down the computer, put the phone aside, and go read a good book.

Until next time… I hope you’re having a nice Fall season.

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Yet more home repairs

I’m sharing this for no other reason than to remind all Men,

“You’re not alone brother!”

My morning started out pretty normal. I got up, had a cup of coffee or two. Looked at my ToDO list and started working.

First up, was completion of some edits on and troubleshooting a website. Problems with this site had befuddled me for a couple of days, and this morning I decided to hit it like Spartacus!

Magically, the problems I’d been having melted before my awesomeness! “That was easy,” I said. Then moved onto the next thing on the list with confidence.

Perhaps I was too cocky.

The rest of the morning unfolded as follows;

I began by cleaning the gutters, The back gutter was a solid mess. Pine needles and about a quarter of an inch of dirt filled the entire 40 foot length of the rear gutter.

I was amazed that it wasn’t simply over-flowing when it rained. Using a ladder on the deck, I was able to remove the pile of pine needles. This process was annoyingly slow but simple manual labor. Grab the pine needles by hand toss them into the yard, move ladder to the next section. Repeat as needed. I finished by flushing the dirt out with a high pressure spray of water from the hose and bingo, the rear gutter was clean.

With even more self assuredness I moved to the front gutter. Oddly, it wasn’t nearly as blocked up as the rear, and it is overflowing when it rains. The front gutter is problematic to clean because unlike the back one, there is only a short deck to work from in the front of the house.

Using my handy dandy fiberglass poles and a little creativity with a bit of metal I fashioned a two bladed hook that allowed me to hook the pine needles and other plant debris raking it toward me. I didn’t have to move the ladder which was a good thing because there’s no place to move it to.

Due to the slope of the yard, one end of the front gutter is 20 feet off the ground and I don’t have a 25 foot ladder. After all, I’d only use it once a year.

Debris removed, I grabbed the hose attached to the front hose bib. The intention was to rinse the dirt and small bits of loose debris from the gutter, as I had done in back. Hose deployed and unkinked, I walk down stairs to turn the water on full blast. I run back upstairs climb the ladder and direct the spray nozzle into the gutter rinsing the detritus from the bottom.

It is approximately at this point that two problems become apparent.

Problem 1 is that the water is not exiting the gutter as anticipated.

Problem 2 is that I hear water running even when the spray nozzle is in the off position. I’d noticed that the water pressure wasn’t quite as high as I’d experienced in the back but thought little of this rather obvious clue.

I’m curious why I still hear water running.

I head down stairs and had 2 inches of one stair break off as I stepped on it, and damn near sent me down the rest of the flight, face first.

Priorities dictated that I find the source of the water sound, before dealing with the broken stair, other than swearing loudly, and profusely, as I caught myself.

Ladies, we guys don’t always get hurt doing something stupid. Sometimes we get hurt because we’re trying to make sure that things are maintained and safe for our families. It just happens that in that process we’re the ones who find cleverly covered up broken, or ignored things. My Dad had a knack for finding the one live wire in a bundle of “rat fucked” wires that one of us kids had tried to fix before being distracted by something shiny in the yard. It was a miracle that nothing caught fire, and my Dad wasn’t electrocuted during my childhood.

Once safely down the stairs, I notice that the sound of running water is louder, but it is not coming as expected from the hose fitting. I head into the basement to discover a quarter to half an inch of water pooled directly under the pipe leading to the hose bib on the exterior wall.

Being thankful for my foresight 8 years ago, I grabbed the nifty ball valve on the water line to the hose bib that I usually only use in preparation for Winter, and shut off the water to the bib without having to kill the water to the entire house.

Okay, now the water problem is managed.

I head back up to the deck pausing to check that the offending stair will not crumble under my weight and back up the ladder to see what’s going on with the gutter. It is still full of water. Great! My front gutter downspout is clogged and I don’t have a ladder tall enough to allow me direct access.

In an attempt to remedy the clog, I began disassembling the segments of the downspout hoping to be able to snake the clog with what I had on hand. A.K.A. my handy dandy fiberglass poles.

Unfortunately, during this process I discover another problem. The clutch on my drill is broken and I can barely unscrew the screws holding the downspout in place without the drill slipping. I question if I can drive a sheet metal screw back through the retaining straps when I’m done clearing the drain spout. However, I’m in it now, and going for the gold, I will finish this one task!

(You know, some days you get the bull and other days you get the horn. You can surmise which I got.)

The fiberglass poles are not able to make the sharp turns leading to the clog, (which appears to be, in or beyond the last “S” leading to the short straight section connected to the gutter itself. Of Course! The clog couldn’t be in any of the sections that I can access, it’s just out of reach, (kinda like my dating life!)

I’m able to reassemble the gutter and get it strapped back to the side of the house. Broken drill notwithstanding.

I am curious about why the drill is broken, and why there is a suspicious big white scuff mark on one side of it indicating that it may have been dropped from a height.

I briefly think about beginning a grand inquisition as to who was using my drill, and how it came to be damaged since the last time I had need of it. I do not recall dropping the machine, but it was at least put back in it’s case where it belonged so that is progress in the right direction.

Nah, there shall be no inquisition today. I just have a great excuse to go pick up that sweet Ryobi set I’ve been wanting. I’ll count it as a win!

With the drill broken, I can’t repair the stairs. The plumber will be here in an hour or so, to replace the broken section of pipe.

In the mean time I’m having a coke. I’ve been at my home repair follies for over 3 hours. I’ll have another shower, then go to Home-Depot to see if I can get a suitable drain snake and a new drill / impact driver set.

Other that that Mrs. Lincoln… How was the Play?

See? Now you can laugh your ass off! Misery loves company doesn’t it?

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Interesting

I’ve lived in this area for almost 30 years.

During that time I’ve seen a variety of wild life including snakes from time to time. Prior to this year I’ve seen only one rattlesnake.

This year I’ve seen two in the neighborhood. The first one was in my yard, unfortunately I don’t have a very good photo of it.

Yesterday, I heard some girls screaming that there was a snake. They’re children so as an adult it’s on me to insure they’re not hurt and that they don’t antagonize a snake that could hurt them.

I’m thinking it’s a California King snake, or a Gopher Snake and the girls are just being girls. I was wrong.

The snake had crossed paths, or rather one of the girls had stepped over the snake and it rattled at her. By the time I got there the snake had moved to a defensible position and was alert but not aggressive.

The girls guardians showed up a couple of minutes later, then the discussion about killing the poor thing began.

Generally speaking I’m not in favor of killing creatures just because they happen to exist. As it turns out the “father” shared my general opinion.

What surprised me was the bloodlust of the little girls. They wanted it dead. It had done them no harm, it had warned them to stay away, and appeared to be waiting patiently for the hubbub to die down.

I imagine that it would have left the area of its own accord had it not been for all the humans around.

Probably, if the snake had not been positioned as it was, it would be dead now. The thing is, there was no clear way to strike at it with a shovel or ax that would insure an instant kill. Meaning that if we’d struck at it, we’d have probably just pissed it off and it would have struck at us.

We had a rattlesnake standoff. Myself and the other male were discussing the options when one of the little girls was just rabid about killing it. She kept saying, “Kill it, Kill it,” in an ever increasing volume. Without thinking I said, “If you want something dead that bad, maybe you should be the one prepared to kill it,” and gestured toward her with the trenching tool I was holding.

She suddenly got quiet. I don’t know what was going through her head. I hope that it was the realization that killing anything isn’t trivial. Even if it’s not your hand on the instrument of death. I doubt that’s what she thought, she probably wasn’t old enough to make that kind of connection.

Eventually, one of the neighbors remembered there was someone in town who would relocate snakes to another canyon (unpopulated) so we gave them a call. They weren’t available, but they hooked us up with a lady who was. Twenty minutes later, the snake was safely in a box and heading to a place where it wouldn’t have to deal vicious blood thirsty humans.

The experience left me thinking.

I’ve killed snakes that were an immediate threat. I felt bad about killing ’em but given the circumstances there was no choice.

I’ve killed other creatures and ate ’em, in that situation it was because I was hungry. Even fishing, you’re killing another creature, which means that there’s supposed to be a built in limit.

You kill what you need, you kill whatever it is quickly and humanely, you eat what you kill, and you don’t arbitrarily or wantonly kill more than you need for yourself or your family.

Most men I know subscribe to the same principals. But wait, males are supposed to be the vicious killers aren’t they?

Why then were the little girls and the adult women screeching for blood? Why was it that the males were willing to take a watchful caution?

Had it only been me and the other guy, we’d have probably let the snake go its way and we’d have watched it go back into the forest. Two predator species respecting each other.

Because of the presence of women, we were under pressure to do something, anything, even if what we did was going to make the situation worse.

It occurred to me that almost every conflict I’ve ever been a part of, or witnessed was driven by women. Either the males were trying to impress, or the women were demanding action.

I makes me wonder…

I can understand that women might be genetically predisposed to eliminate any possible threat to their young whether or not the threat is real.

I wonder if men on the other hand, because we’re stronger, and usually have been the ones to get our hands bloody, might have an inherent respect for life & death that goes unacknowledged. We learn early on, that killing is bloody and final. We understand that when we kill, we’ve removed something from the world, on some level we understand that once gone it’s gone forever.

Granted some men acquire a taste for killing but most men I know have a deep respect for life, and don’t take it lightly, or for granted.

It’s strange how simple events get me thinking.