Category: Adult

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Thoughts regarding Sheriff Paul Babeu

When this first broke, I thought that I wasn’t going to comment on it. I changed my mind after watching this news conference.

On several of the blogs that I read, there have been really shocking and horrific comments made about the sheriff. The most venomous and unfair remarks I’ve read were from blogs that cater to the gay world. Even the comments in blogs of the religious right weren’t as hostile.

This left me wondering what about this man had generated such venom. So when I saw a link to this news conference if figured I’d have my morning coffee and see what this guy could possibly say that would generate so much anger from the gay community.

This is a long video. I like a lot of what this man says. Those items we disagree on… well nobody’s perfect!

Sheriff Paul Babeu Press Conference from Paul Babeu on Vimeo.

Several things struck me about this guy.

He strikes me as genuine.

He’s doing his best to hold it together during a very public exposure of his sexuality. He comes across as a very private person and having something as personal as your sexual behavior splattered across the world wide news machine has to be difficult. I give him credit for hanging in there.

Sheriff Babeu explains his life philosophy pretty well. He says he’s a man of duty, and that duty and honor are both at the top of his priorities even when duty and honor may result in personal difficulties. He points out that he’s never lied about being gay. From another published comment attributed to Sheriff Babeu, He’s also never worn being gay on his sleeve.

Sheriff Babeu explains why he contacted an attorney to represent him in a disagreement with Jose. One of the things that caught my attention later in the news conference is that Sheriff Babeu refused to discuss the particulars of the relationship. It’s hard to make out but I think one of the reporters off camera asks something about the length of time the relationship lasted and when it ended. Sheriff Babeu only responds, “prior to September” and goes no further.

The Sheriff states a couple of times that he’s a single man, and that he’s done nothing wrong or illegal in dating other adults. At one point the Sheriff tells someone in the crowd that the minute details of his personal life aren’t anyones business. The person in the crowd doesn’t like that answer but quiets down pretty quickly.

During the whole interview I saw nothing but a guy dealing with a tough situation with a commendable amount of grace under pressure. Hell, I’d vote for him.

Sheriff Babeu didn’t come across as a racist,  hatemonger, liar, or abuser of power. So I was still at a loss to understand why the gay community as represented on the mainstream gay blogs were so hateful in their comments about this guy.

Then the Sheriff addresses the allegation that he threatened to have Jose deported.

AH HA! Here we go, THE HOT BUTTON ISSUE! Immigration…

Because every gay person should be completely happy with, and supportive of illegal immigrants. (Even though a large percentage of them are devoutly Catholic and by church doctrine are opposed to gay rights)

Sheriff Babeu says that he didn’t threaten Jose with deportation, and goes on to say that to his knowledge Jose’s immigration status was the same as anyones.

The commenters on the gay blogs and some of the blog sites themselves have locked onto this single allegation and in one of the most  hypocritical twists of logic have tried, convicted, and condemned Sheriff Babeu without any evidence whatsoever.

How can the gay community demand justice, freedom, and equality while at the same time stomping all over those very principals?

Sheriff Babeu, is an example of both what is right … and wrong in this country.

Here’s a guy that just lives his life. He works, contributes, serves his country, serves, his community, dates, and has bad breakups. He’s no different than any of the rest of the people in this country. In fact he’s the ultimate guy next door.

Here’s whats wrong in this country.

By saying “I’m Gay”, somehow all the contributions this man has made are thrown into question. Many people, in politics, the media, and some in the communities he serves will now look at Sheriff Babeu differently and few, will even seek to limit his freedoms.

Is it any wonder at all that folks like the Sheriff work so hard to keep their private lives private?

Our society creates and reinforces an environment where your choices are;

Be gay, open, honest…. And stigmatized… In corporate America, You’ll never gain promotions, achieve anything of note, or move up the corporate ladder to success. In the political arena, with few exceptions you’ll have to be a Democrat, can’t be conservative, and will probably not be taken seriously and therefore your career will always be limited. OR Hide.

Given those options which would you choose?

I hope that Sheriff Babeu is a tough as nails. I think the next few weeks are going to be very hard on him.

I sincerely hope that his friends continue to rally around him and that he’s never lacking for support.

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Sometimes my clever plans… shoot me in the foot!

 

I was working on continuity in a book I’m trying to write. I moved a chapter or two around and thought nothing of it…

Then I went back to work on those chapters and found that the contents have evaporated into the ether. Damn!

I was just mildly annoyed, I’ve got at least a couple of backups and so while there might have been some data loss it’s not much.

This led me to rethink a couple of things about the book and the way that I’ve been writing it.

I’d started out writing this as pure smut. But as I’ve written, the characters have become more than automatons and I’ve been looking at their motivations. This has inevitably led to a story. The sex is still there and exciting, but the characters are more engaging now that they have a backstory and can stand alone without the backdrop of wild sex.

I’m working now to stabilize the material that I have and then move forward by enhancing the characters motivations and better explaining how each one got from point A to point E by way of B,C,& D.

In all I think the story will be richer and more engaging.

As a close friend of mine has reminded me “Writing is Editing…”

As a break I was out in Palm Springs last night at the first meeting of a newly formed group. There was a nice flogging demonstration and another demonstration of an updated violet wand.

Both demonstrations were instructive and I appreciate the demonstrators and the demonstratees!

The line of people forming to BE flogged was gratifying.

DSC 1089

My ego was also stroked a bit in that I was hit on by several people wanting to submit to whatever I might consider pleasurable. I love willing subs!

I was far too interested in improving my flogging technique by observing the demonstration to actively pursue any of these generous offers. Perhaps I will accept an offer or two at the next event. I am looking forward to the next event, it was nice to be in a room with so many like minded individuals.

I’m still surprised that I’m coming across as a “Daddy, Dom, Top, Master”. No, I’m not complaining I’m just fascinated, I’m not sure that I’m experienced enough to formally “Wear” these appellations. Then again maybe these titles are representative of who I am now and are well deserved. Time alone will tell, I can say that for the first time in my life I’m unafraid of those titles and the responsibility that they imply within the confines of the BDSM community.

How does all of this tie into the book?

Well there is a component of the book that deals with this alternative expression of sexuality.

 

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A wonderful day for the GOP

Amy Koch and Greg Davis…. She was having an affair with a staffer, He was buying stuff at a gay sex store with tax payers money!

Both sure weren’t practicing what they preach.

Both had whipped up panic about how marriage would be destroyed by allowing same sex marriages and yet…

So gentle reader, what lessons are we learning?

How about the simple lesson that everyone deserves to share equally in the American Dream including marriage to the person of their choice regardless of gender…

Because we are all just as likely to fuck up our lives.

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"Hi" redux

A while ago I wrote a piece here titled “hi”

In that piece I explained how annoying it was when I’m on social media sites and I receive the “hi” message from strangers.

I’m probably going to just start replying to those messages with a link to that blog post.

It’s one thing if you know me and start a conversation like that. We already have something in common, it’s quite another thing if we don’t know each other.

Look at the scenario.

Person A Sends a message to person B

hi

Person B gets an email or text notification that they have a message.

They stop what they’re doing, log on to the site where the message originated, navigate to the email and they read the mind bogglingly intelectual message from Person A.

hi

Now Person B checks out the online profile of Person A.

Person B thinks “Hey they’re kind of cute” and despite the fact that the social media site has ample space for Person A to describe themselves and their interests they have refused to provide any information at all except the requisite gender and location.

What is Person B supposed to do? What response can be formulated? As I see it there are four options.

  1. Respond with “Hello, thank you for your message.” and hope that Person A can in fact carry their end of a conversation.
  2. Respond with an equally inane “hi”
  3. Respond with “Hello you’re cute, did you want to get together and fuck?” 
  4. Ignore messages from Person A
I’ve tried all four responses with varying results.
Oddly response #4 elicits the most interesting behavior. Person A continues to send messages that simply say “hi” over and over again until I block the moron.
Options #1 & #2 are about equally ineffective. Person A responds to each with a one to four word response. The response is usually chosen at random from the following list.
“hi”, “sup”, “what are you doing?”, “hows it hangin?”, “where are you?”, “what are you into?”, “stats”
These short responses go on and on until I simply can’t be bothered anymore. By the time Person A gets around to saying anything interesting I’m over them and no longer reading their messages.
At least the multiword choices demonstrate some grasp of the language. I personally find “Stats” offensive but it IS honest in that it’s obvious the sender is looking for a quick hookup.
Response #3 most often generates a distinctive silence. The honesty of “Stats” is apparently acceptable, but putting my desire into actual words is somehow too nasty.
I’m a man… I want to fuck, I want to shoot my creamy load… and why shouldn’t I be honest about that desire?

If you’re saying nothing more than “hi” you’ve left me with nothing to build a conversation on so why not cut to the chase? You want my dick and I’m willing to let you have it.

The most ironic bit of all this is, I’m listed as seeking friends and chat in my profile.

The people that most often send “hi” say they want to chat too. Perhaps my first clue is that these people can’t be honest enough with themselves about what they’re really wanting. Maybe I’ll change my profile to “Seeking Kinky SEX “

At least then the people contacting me might have a clear idea about what they’re after.
The problem is, that I really am looking for local potential friends…

I’m going to have to start hanging out at the local bar, at least then the person saying “hi” is prepared enough or drunk enough to respond with a sentence… or by paying for the drinks!

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Gay People Are Not…

…Looking to convert anybody

Why on earth would you seek to convert someone’s sexuality? Especially if you knew that you were condemning the person or persons successfully converted to a life where hatred, ridicule, violence (in word and deed), and where federally mandated loss of constitutional rights was all they had to look forward to. No one is that cruel. Especially not Gay people.

…Child Molesters

In the main, gay people do not molest children. Straight People do!! After all Jerry Sandusky isn’t gay is he? Nor is Bernie Fine. In fact, I defy you to find a significant number of gay people within the larger group of identified child molesters. Contrary to what the Christian Right would have you believe, once someone comes to grips with their gayness they tend to get over the guilt and put together a life that is positive instead of one where they simmer in self loathing. Fundamentalist Christianity has done more to harm in this area than help. Shame and Guilt are not useful controls of human behavior they only serve to create a dark shadow world fueled by self hatred.

…Always Effeminate, Hairdressers, Interior Designers, or Fashionistas.

Gay people are in every walk of life. They are scientists, doctors, lawyers, house painters, machinists, magicians, singers, dancers, truckers, pilots, steel workers, boat captains, and auto mechanics. Pick ANY profession and you’ll find a gay person there. What the media often portrays as representative GAY people is the equivalent of the wonderful “Crazy Eyes” photos of Michelle Bachmann. (except SHE IS Crazy)

…Weak

Perhaps the most important thing to understand is that Gay people are not weak.

Many Gay people are, or were soldiers. Just because the Government and Christian Fundamentalists like Rick Perry, Rick Santorum, Mit Romney, Michelle Bachmann, Tony Perkins, and Fred Phelps convinced themselves that dishonorable discharges were the only fit punishment for Gay soldiers…
It in no way means that the training those soldiers received was erased when their military careers were.

Those men and women are a resource and they’ll train the rest of the gay community if necessary to defend themselves.

In the main, gay people are pretty peaceful and liberal. A segment of the gay population is downright anti-gun, anti-war, & anti-volience, at any price. BUT… and this is important… Gay people come from all walks of life, and every single state and community within this country.

So all you Christian Fundamentalists out there, Picture your redneck cousins from Arkansas in your uncles truck with rifles. Toss in a couple of Desert Storm, Desert Shield, Iraq and Afghanistan Veterans. Sounds like a great time hunting Elk doesn’t it?

Now imagine them as ALL GAY. Scary?

If the fundamentalist, bible thumping, child molesting, sons of bitches, ever try to take basic rights away from Gay people or try something even more stupid like imprisoning people because they’re Gay…

Be assured that scary image is what they’ll be looking at. Think long and hard about it.

Oh, the Gays will be stylish, and will do you the courtesy of shooting your bigoted asses with the finest ammo money can buy.

But the bottom line is….

BRING IT BITCHES!


I can assure you that this is not 1939 Germany.

Demonizing a segment of the population for political gain won’t work with our political system.

We are not a theocracy. We separate church and state precisely to prevent the kind of religious purges we SAY we’re trying to prevent in Iraq, Afghanistan and elsewhere in the world.

So Please! Will all the presidential candidates stop pandering to the Fundamentalist Christian Fringe and start addressing the real problems of the Country?