Category: Male Sexuality

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"Hi" redux

A while ago I wrote a piece here titled “hi”

In that piece I explained how annoying it was when I’m on social media sites and I receive the “hi” message from strangers.

I’m probably going to just start replying to those messages with a link to that blog post.

It’s one thing if you know me and start a conversation like that. We already have something in common, it’s quite another thing if we don’t know each other.

Look at the scenario.

Person A Sends a message to person B

hi

Person B gets an email or text notification that they have a message.

They stop what they’re doing, log on to the site where the message originated, navigate to the email and they read the mind bogglingly intelectual message from Person A.

hi

Now Person B checks out the online profile of Person A.

Person B thinks “Hey they’re kind of cute” and despite the fact that the social media site has ample space for Person A to describe themselves and their interests they have refused to provide any information at all except the requisite gender and location.

What is Person B supposed to do? What response can be formulated? As I see it there are four options.

  1. Respond with “Hello, thank you for your message.” and hope that Person A can in fact carry their end of a conversation.
  2. Respond with an equally inane “hi”
  3. Respond with “Hello you’re cute, did you want to get together and fuck?” 
  4. Ignore messages from Person A
I’ve tried all four responses with varying results.
Oddly response #4 elicits the most interesting behavior. Person A continues to send messages that simply say “hi” over and over again until I block the moron.
Options #1 & #2 are about equally ineffective. Person A responds to each with a one to four word response. The response is usually chosen at random from the following list.
“hi”, “sup”, “what are you doing?”, “hows it hangin?”, “where are you?”, “what are you into?”, “stats”
These short responses go on and on until I simply can’t be bothered anymore. By the time Person A gets around to saying anything interesting I’m over them and no longer reading their messages.
At least the multiword choices demonstrate some grasp of the language. I personally find “Stats” offensive but it IS honest in that it’s obvious the sender is looking for a quick hookup.
Response #3 most often generates a distinctive silence. The honesty of “Stats” is apparently acceptable, but putting my desire into actual words is somehow too nasty.
I’m a man… I want to fuck, I want to shoot my creamy load… and why shouldn’t I be honest about that desire?

If you’re saying nothing more than “hi” you’ve left me with nothing to build a conversation on so why not cut to the chase? You want my dick and I’m willing to let you have it.

The most ironic bit of all this is, I’m listed as seeking friends and chat in my profile.

The people that most often send “hi” say they want to chat too. Perhaps my first clue is that these people can’t be honest enough with themselves about what they’re really wanting. Maybe I’ll change my profile to “Seeking Kinky SEX “

At least then the people contacting me might have a clear idea about what they’re after.
The problem is, that I really am looking for local potential friends…

I’m going to have to start hanging out at the local bar, at least then the person saying “hi” is prepared enough or drunk enough to respond with a sentence… or by paying for the drinks!

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HPV Vacine for Boys? It’s a good idea!

Was reading an article this morning about vaccinating boys against the HPV virus.

The author mentioned that the rate of vaccination for girls was somewhere around 33% (Defined as girls having all three shots). Then the article goes on to say that the vaccination may be a hard sell for boys.
I don’t get it.
If, as statistics suggest 75% to 80% of all adults have been or will infected with HPV then it’s kind of a no brainer to give protection to our kids so that they’ll never have to worry about HPV as adults.
Since transmission goes both ways shouldn’t we be treating this like measles? 
The author points out that the low vaccination rate for girls may have to do with parents not wanting to think about their daughter being sexually active. Wake up morons!
Unless parents are going to put their daughters in a convent…  A simple vaccination is preferable to the alternative. 
The “hard sell” aspect for boys seems to be that HPV appears to be linked to throat and anal cancers. Therefore parents don’t see the need… Especially since their son isn’t gay and won’t be gay.
This view is completely unrealistic, and based on the fallacious argument that missionary sex is the only kind of sex ever engaged in.
We as Americans MUST get past our puritanical (and hypocritical) beliefs about sex.
How many men have not enjoyed a good blow job? Raise your hands… Now go find someone to suck your dick and tell me it’s not a lot of fun.
How many women haven’t had a man go down on them? Raise your hands… Then smack your husband! Women in general like it just as much as men and they deserve it, so men if you’re not doing your woman you need to get down there and eat some pussy!
There is absolutely nothing new in sex. 
Boys have always gone for the record when they figure out how to jack off. 
Most women seem to do the same when they figure out how to please themselves.
Objects and organs of various sizes, have always found their ways into the vaginal, oral, or anal openings of both sexes. 
It’s a fact of life and denial serves no purpose except to insure that sexually active people contract diseases needlessly every day.
My parents don’t need to know all the situations where I’ve been skin to skin with someone. They sure as hell don’t need to know what I was doing after I got home from school!
Thankfully, they had the presence of mind to realize that I was probably going to be just like them…
… I was going to be a horny little fuck & I was going to have an active satisfying sex life.
They were wise enough to make sure that I had all the information necessary to enjoy my sex life without too many complications.
I can’t believe that after 35 years or so we’re still having dumbshit discussions about sexuality in this country. This is not the 15th century… and even then people were going at it as often as they could.
Look around people, there are more humans now than there were even 30 years ago. We do know how that happens, and it’s a sure bet that not every little darling was an immaculate conception. 
People FUCK.  We always have, presumably we always will. 
Realistically would you deny your children the joy, ecstasy, and unrivaled pleasure of having sex with another person? I didn’t think so… 
So why is it so hard for you to make having those experiences as safe as possible? 
Vaccinate, provide all the information your children need to make informed decisions about their sex life. 
Think about it another way, do you want your son or daughter having their first experience thinking something stupid like if they pee right after sex they won’t get a disease or pregnant?
Wouldn’t it be better for you to give them accurate information? Would it have been better for you?
I was lucky and I thank god my parents were forward thinking. They gave me all the information I could use and they did it without being judgemental. All I knew was that Gay, Straight, Bi, or whatever they were going to love me. 
As an aside… Dad, it would have been nice if you’d given me a little more information on jock itch, and creepy crawlies that can infest body hair…
Of course, you couldn’t anticipate everything but you were in the Navy! And the same goes for my beloved stepfather, actually it goes double for you… You were a Marine!
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"hi"

That is why I’m on fewer and fewer “adult oriented” social media sites.

“hi”

I hate that! I go to the trouble of creating a fairly complete profile, I specifically state who I am, my hobbies, interests, and a small bit of humorous information about me precisely so that the reader has enough to

a) Decide if they’d like to speak to me
b) Have something around which to start a conversation.

“‘sup?”

How about a complete sentence or better yet a whole thought?

Something like;

Hi there, I enjoyed reading your profile. You’re a SCUBA diver? I’m curious about it, but worry that it’s too expensive for my budget. Would you have time to give me a basic run down from your perspective?

At least there is a basis for a conversation.

Or how about a sender saying;

Dammn! you’re handsome… wanna fuck?


I could handle and respect that and at least it’s not wasting my time and burning through my patience with inane one word responses that pass as a conversation. Hell I could program my phone or computer to answer with one randomly chosen word in response to your one word “Conversation Starters”.

“what are you doing?”


This is another major time waster… how do I answer that? Would it be appropriate for me to say;

I’m taking a huge dump and wondering if I’ve got time to jerk off before I have to get dressed for that church service?


I’ve often thought about answering that way but frankly I fear the string of one or two word responses that I’d have to respond to.

I can picture something like;

“Cool”
“like to suck you.”
“ummm hot”


Of course if I look up the senders location it’s one extreme or the other. It’s always the sender is somewhere like Cambodia. Or the sender is 5 miles away and I when I say GREAT! Come on over I could use a blowjob. I’d like to see my cum dripping from your chin


Then suddenly, the conversation stops. Or there are endless excuses…

You know, if you’re going to say you’d like to suck my dick…

Put your mouth where my dick is!