I suppose I have a bit of a different view.

All the hubbub over David Petraeus having an affair is really confusing me.

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Since this, like the election is inescapable I’ll comment.

I’ve seen articles written by women condemning Petraeus, and men in general. One that caught my attention was titled something like “Why powerful men cheat”

I could counter that article with “Why are so many women attracted to men in power?”

It cuts both ways.

I personally believe that ALL Men cheat at some point or another in their lives, (God knows I have!) In the case of powerful men they’re under a lot more scrutiny and therefore are more likely to be caught.

In this age of Democrats being saints and Republicans being sinners. Anyone who is conservative or Republican is far more likely to have their skeletons yanked out of the closet. It doesn’t matter if  the indiscretion happened 25 years ago or last week.

The Petraeus scandal should serve as a cautionary tale to everyone, most especially anyone with a conservative stance.

A lot of you may not like what I’m going to say next.

First, let me say I’ve never subscribed to the concept that men are supposed to be in monogamous relationships.

I’ve tried it. Didn’t work!

I’ve known a lot of men who tried it and failed as well. 

I don’t think we as men are wired that way. Our nature is to hunt. We thrill at the chase. The pure joy of catching a man or women that we desire is addictive. 

It’s just how we’re built. 

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Why the hell we’re punished for being true to our nature amazes and confuses me. I know intellectually it’s all about the Puritanical beginnings of America. One of these days we’re going to have to get over it.

I need to point out… In my current relationship, I never committed to being monogamous. 

I’ve always been honest about my inability to be monogamous and should I ever be indiscreet enough that I’m “Caught” it will come as no surprise to my partner. Our rule is that we’re not going to throw our playtime with other people in each others face. 

My partner is just as welcome to play with other people. What’s good for the goose is good for the gander. I’ve noted that whenever we play outside our relationship, the experiences gained from that play enrich sex within the relationship. As always YOUR milage may vary.

But above all be honest, be authentic, and be true to yourself. You’d be surprised how good that makes you feel.

If Petraeus is guilty of anything it’s that he was dishonest. But then we don’t know the inner workings of his relationship with his wife. Nor should we.

Why do men Cheat???

For the hell of it!

Look at Petraeus for example. He’s not a bad looking man. He’s 60, he’s had a hell of a career and he knows that career is winding down.

He’s been married to the same woman for 37 years. His wife, isn’t a bad looking woman, she’s… sturdy.

Nonetheless Petraeus, has to be wondering if he’s still got it.

Men are not immune to age. We notice the grey hair at our temples, one day we we get out of the shower and notice our belly isn’t flat anymore, and our pecs aren’t’ the thick slabs of muscle they once were. No matter how hard we fight we know it’s a losing battle. We see the grey hairs in our chest and belly fur. Then the ultimate insult… grey hair on our balls. It can be really depressing, scary, and men as a rule don’t talk about it. We really have remarkably few support structures in this regard. Hell, even Brothers don’t speak to each other about stuff like this.

Then along comes this hot young woman in her 40s. She’s married and she apparently wants to have a bit of fun.

Since she’s a married mother of 2, it’s a pretty safe bet that they can enjoy each others company and it’s not going to go public. After all,  they both have something to lose.

Petraeus, gets to have an adventure with a hot young thing and it feels good for him he’s still got the preverbal “IT”. Broadwell gets to enjoy the thrill of fucking one of the most powerful men in the country. From her perspective he’s dangerous, powerful, and arguably a killer. Lots of women have serious weaknesses for “Bad Boys” Petraeus is the Ultimate “safe” Bad Boy for her to play with.

I can see it, it makes sense to me. These are two adults who happened to be at the right place at the right time in their lives and they went for it.

SO WHAT?

Whether we admit it or not… Every man gets bored with sex with the same person.

We’ve all been there, sex becomes a well known well trodden set of conditioned responses.

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Lick left nipple, caress right nipple, touch there, kiss here, insert there, Thrust 3 times, pause, thrust 5 times, pause, thrust 4 times, talk dirty, oh baby, oh baby, and then it’s nap time. 

Give a man the opportunity to give chase again, give him a new body to play with, unknown territory, suddenly sex is exciting, and he’s 20 again. 

That’s the reason we cheat. It’s not about love, it’s about nothing else but fighting mind numbing boredom.

It’s about feeling young, powerful and desired again. It’s about someone different on their knees in front of you, telling you they want your dick inside them. It’s about hearing someone new groaning in pleasure because you’re sliding it home and they’re loving it.

It might even be about something as primitive as spreading our genetics further. It’s got to be a major thrill at 60 to find out you’ve knocked up your 30 year old mistress… Talk about still having “IT”!

Honestly, I can’t imagine that it’s any different for a woman. 

Let’s see, same man she’s been with for 30 years, she knows exactly how to get him off in 30 seconds or less and she’s gotten to the point that sex isn’t worth it for her because she spends more time cleaning up from the sex than actually having it

OR

The 20 something, tanned, muscular, pool man who’s packing something in his cargo shorts besides a wad of keys.

I have to think the pool man gets a lot of action!

It’s time for us to get over it.

Everyone universally wants to get off. I can’t think of any man that doesn’t like to see ropey jets of their cum shooting across the room. Or better yet, ramming our cock home dumping our cum into a willing orifice.

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We all want that experience to be memorable and exciting. After the hunt, in a hotel room when we get what we worked for. We savor it, the conquest, victory, & validation. When we go home to our spouses we’re still fired up and often a good time is had by all. Months later, we’ll rub one out to the memory, because it still has the power to excite us.

If you accept these truths, then all the hubbub over the latest Sex Scandal is really just a bunch of annoying noise. I’m reminded of the sound of my classmates in elementary school when someone got in trouble. It’s time for us to grow up.

Just because someone has an affair, it doesn’t automatically mean they’re unfit for office. The bigger issue is was there a security breach?

Broadwell, sending threatening emails simply means that she forgot she & Petraeus were  supposed to be casual sex partners, nothing more.

If we were more open to casual sex, I personally think there’d be a lot fewer divorces.

I’m astounded at the venom

I’ve been skimming Twitter.

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I am astounded by the nastiness and venomous gloating coming from the gay community. Over the election results.

I thought these people were the “Educated, Liberal segment of our society”. I thought they were the folks who purported themselves to be better than the zealous, mean, rich, conservative religious right.

I expected them to take the high road and “Win” with grace and good sportsmanship.

Apparently, I was completely WRONG!

Yet another reason that so many Bi & Non mainstream Gay men refuse to associate with the Gay community.

It’s not that these men are ashamed of their sexuality… it’s that they’re embarrassed  by the mainstream “GAY” people who so clearly don’t represent them. 

Butt Toys

Yeah You read it, Yeah I said it.

[I’ve decided to write mini-reviews of items that catch my attention. Personally, I hate jumping in blind and spending $50 to $200 on a toy only to find out that it’s cheaply made, or simply don’t live up to expectations. So take my review in the spirit in which it’s meant. These are my experiences your mileage will probably vary.]

The male butt can be an amazing source of pleasure. I discovered this as an adolescent, but shame and social taboos kept me from really enjoying all that my butt could offer until well into middle age.

Many men, straight and otherwise have been introduced to the pleasures of anal stimulation by their significant others. I’ve known many women that loved “turning the tables” on their men.

Done right, someone stimulating your prostate can add a whole new dimension to sex and orgasm. You want a mind blowing orgasm? Have someone or something massaging your prostate when you cum. I guarantee that you’ll come back for more.

Whether you have a partner or not,  I can suggest a couple of fine toys.

My current favorites are the Aneros Progasm Ice and the Lelo “Billy”

The Progasm Ice is a great toy.

Having used the Aneros MGX for a while, I wanted something a little more interesting. I can heartily recommend the Ice.

One of the things I didn’t care for with the MGX was the perineum tab tended to be a little too sharp. Not like it cut or anything but it just dug into the perineum a little too aggressively for my tastes.

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The Progasm Ice is a different animal altogether

As you can see in the photo the front tab has a nice round ball and provides pressure and stimulation without digging in.

The Aneros toys are deceptive.

They look like nothing at all… yet, used properly these devices can take you to a hands free orgasm.

They’re powered by your own body. As your anal muscles contract, the Aneros presses on your prostate when causes another contraction and so on until you’re blissed out and cumming.

There are conflicting reports about health benefits of having your prostate massaged. Some people swear that prostate massage is essential for good prostate and sexual health. The medical profession seems less convinced.

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I can tell you from my own experience, that prostate stimulation and massage just feels damn good.

Since I’m all about feeling good, as long as my prostate isn’t damaged by whatever is being done to it, I’m a happy man.

My other favorite toy for prostate massage is the  Lelo “Billy”

The “Billy” is pretty darn close to perfect if you’re into powered pleasure.

(I’d never seen a Lelo vibrator until I was shopping with someone very close to me who purchased one for his wife. I was impressed with the design and wondered if they made something for men… Short answer is Yes. )

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The curve is perfect and angles right at the prostate.

The diameter of the “Billy” is just right for beginners to butt play as well as the more… uh experienced user.

The controls are easy to use and the 5 programmed pulse modes combined with the variable speed of the unit make for a wide variety of pleasurable adventures.

This unit is well built, rechargeable, and a whole lot of fun. The “Billy” is a little pricy but looks like it’s going to hold up well.

I personally like the pulse mode. I have no doubt that everyone can find something to make their butt happy.

I’m thinking about giving one of these as a gift to my brother… Well Actually I think I’d have to give it to his wife… I’ll probably have to include 20 or 30 feet of rope so she could tie him down and force pleasure on him!

Combine either or both of these toys with a big healthy dose of Spunk Lube and you’re good to go for playtime either alone, or with your mate.

Spunk Lube has become my go to lube for general play. Whatever you’re sliding into your partner Spunk gives you a silky smooth ride. I’ve had no trouble with condoms or toys and as advertised Spunk cleans up easily.


The problem I suspect most folks have with toys, is the expense.

It’s not like you can walk into a store and try a toy to decide if you like it.

So you look at the item carefully and then you make the call. If you’re lucky the item in question works the way you hope.

I got lucky with these toys,

I hope my review helps you get lucky too.

 

Lubes… No, NOT FOR YOUR CAR!

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I’ve decided that I’m going to be sharing personal views on various products that I use. Some of those products may be “normal” average every day things and some may not.

This is the first installment, I hope you enjoy it.

As a guy that likes to bust a nut. I’ve used a wide variety of lubricants in my masturbatory career.

I’ve often said that If I could give myself a blowjob I’d be homeless living under a bridge and have no need for anyone. I even tried Yoga to see if I could get limber enough! Alas, no joy…

My lack of flexibility…. (notice I said nothing about length… I’m 12 internet inches thank you very much!) has led me to the exploration of various personal lubricants over the years.

As a general rule, I like water based lubricants, but I have to admit a certain perverse fondness for Jergens.

What Mother hasn’t noticed that her Jergens consumption increased by 75% when her first son reached puberty? Yeah Mom, sorry about blowing through all those bottles of the stuff for you… But I couldn’t blow myself and well my dick wouldn’t be denied!

From the early lubes that contained a cornucopia of chemicals and dried the hell out of my johnson to KY, and J-Lube I’ve rubbed out more that a few loads..

My most recent favorites have been Gun Oil H2O and Stroke 29 (also by gun oil). Been using these lubes to bust a nut since I discovered them.

Stroke 29 dispenses like a thick cream then changes state as you stroke and it heats up. It’s long lasting and feels damn fine while I ride my fist to glory. The nice thing about 29 is that you don’t necessarily have to rinse off. A quick wipe with a hand towel and I’m good to go. 

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Gun Oil H20 is nice but is really best suited for fucking. If it’s inside someone it stays slick and lasts pretty well. Using it for stroking is good too but you end up re-applying often and using quite a bit.

This is a common problem with most water based lubricants

As the water evaporates, the lube gets progressively stickier and tacky until you’re forced to wet it down again or re-apply.

Silicone lubes solve this problem but they shouldn’t be used with many latex products.

So if you’re playing with someone and decide to get a little more serious you have to clean up, and then switch to a lube that is condom safe for example.

Silicone lubes are also kind of messy and I’ve found them hard to clean up. (As an aside a nice salt scrub will break the stuff down faster.)

There are other masturbatory lubes that have a variety of chemicals which make them inappropriate for vaginal / anal penetration or use before oral sex. In addition to the bad flavor, the chemical soup can be very irritating to the lining of any orifice.

These products are freakin great for just strokin but you’re back to the stopping and cleaning up if you and a partner decide to mix it up. 

 Recently, I’ve tried Spunk

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This stuff is great! it’s slick, and stays wet a long time. It behaves as advertised and cleans off of you with a hand towel, no water necessary.

The stuff cleans easily off your toys with soap and water, leaving no residue.  It’s toy / latex safe and did I mention it looks like cum.

Yeah, for fetishists like myself that’s a major selling point.

I love using my own cum as a lube for the second round of fun. Ok I’m a kinky fuck… moving on…

With Spunk I get to have the thrill of stroking with something that looks like cum… right from the get go.

Spunk is a really nice all around solution because it’s a hybrid. It stays wet & slick longer than the traditional water based lube.

It does eventually require either water or re-aplication but not nearly as often as many of the traditional water based lubes. If you’re into edge play, this can be a nice change.

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It’s safe for use as a vaginal/anal lubricant, it’s also neutral tasting. All are advantages because you can have fun alone or with someone, without having to think about which lube to use or breaking the action to clean up just to umm… get dirty again.

Looking at the Spunk bottle pictured… is that cum or is it Spunk? Can’t tell? that’s the point!  

Yeah I did my own little photo shoot to see if the pictures on the Spunk web site were “Doctored” guess what? I don’t think they were.  

In my highly unscientific comparison spunk stays slick just about as long as my own highly personal product. Of course I can buy Spunk in 8 oz bottles and my personal product cums in only tablespoon quantities.  (Hey I had to do a fair comparison didn’t I? Besides I had the lube on my hand I didn’t want to waste it!)

I will admit that I am somewhat biased to my own product… But I think that’s because I feel so good dispensing it! 

Dispensing Spunk isn’t quite as much fun, on the other hand… dispensing Spunk means I’m going to be having fun so it’s an easy tradeoff.

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Some other notes, my skin can be sensitive, especially around the urethral opening. I’ve had a number of lubes that caused irritation in that area. If you’re a guy like me who’s had lubes that felt like someone was holding a blowtorch to the end of your dick, Spunk is a safe choice it hasn’t caused any negative reaction whatsoever. 

I think that I’ll be switching to Spunk only for all my future sexual escapades… Now can I get a bulk discount?

YES! you can buy the product in Gallon sized jugs.

You know… there is a whole practical joke aspect to this stuff that might just be worth exploring! 

Imagine dropping your car off at your local mechanic with spunk all over the steering wheel or dripping from the underside of the hood. 

I can see that conversation. “Oh yeah I have sex with my car… let me wipe that off!”

If I come across any better lubes I’ll share my experiences with them too. For the time being I’m a fan of the Spunk product.

Feel free to make suggestions or comments, I’m always looking for something new to try out.

Got a new toy… A Tenga

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OK right at the outset for my friends who are squeamish about me saying stuff about sex…. I’m about to talk about a sex toy.

NO! Not a dildo or vibrator. I’m not planning to extoll the virtues of either.

It’s a TENGA. While this is a lot like the FleshLight (Which I also have and enjoy, but which is also aging). This little Japanese wonder is… Well A LOT OF FUN!

Had some time to give it a whirl this morning. I think I’m going to be making time for this puppy more often.

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Unlike the FleshLight, the Tenga opens horizontally along it’s long axis. This allows for very easy application of lubricant and even easier cleaning.

One down side to the FleshLight is the cleaning.

My FleshLight is showing signs of wear not from use so much as from the cleaning.

The disassembly process puts strain on the silicone insert and over time creates micro-tears around the circumfrence. I’ve also had difficulty with the hard plastic parts becoming brittle over time. 

The Tenga solves these issues and makes cleanup a snap. It’s nice to be able to really get at all the nooks and crannies with plain old soap and water.

A major issue for me with the FleshLight is that after I’ve had my fun, I’ve got the insert out which has all the structural integrity of a dead octopus… that has to dry, plus the outer case, plus the two end caps. This pile of parts has sit somewhere while drying, quite often that someplace is out on the bathroom counter.

If you hurry the drying process with say a blow dryer… you risk damaging any or all of the components. If you just say “Fuck it!” An all too likely prospect in my world, you’ll put it away wet and then run the risk of god knows what growing in the thing.

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The Tenga is completely different.

There are exactly two parts. The cover is used during your fun… it’s what keeps the two halves of the Tenga locked together. When not in use the cover protects the silicone in the business end of the unit.

After cleaning, the cover supports the whole unit upright for drying.

The design is elegant and functional.

I’m not trying to sound like an ad copy writer here but I’ve always had a great respect for simple functional design. I’ve never seen any reason not to have the same design criteria for sexual toys.

One thing that I didn’t realize when I purchased my new best friend is that the nubs and groves are available in different patterns.

I’d been shown the inside of one in the store, and when I got mine home, the inside was different. So if you’ve got a penchant for a particular pattern of bumps, nubs, grooves, etc. pay attention to the packaging. I don’t know if the color of the plastic shell correlates with the pattern or not. But the possible differences are worth noting.

Ok so now you know the basics… Now you’re thinking, DUDE! How does it feel?

In a word…. Ahhhhhhhhh fuck yeah!

OK that’s more than one word… sue me!

Here’s where the Tenga shines. If you’ve been observant, you’ve probably wondered about the buttons you can see in the photos. Each of those buttons changes the feeling. (No, the unit is not powered) pressing the buttons applies additional pressure. The one at the bottom makes the entry very tight. YEAH!

The middle button does something that makes the unit have a lot more suction Whoo Hooo, and the top button increases the tightness, stimulation at the head of your dick. OMG!

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All in all, a series of DAMN good feelings.

Sitting here thinking about it…. I might have to go have another round with my new friend…

…. OK I’m back. Yeah I think I like the middle and end buttons best! Whew!

Now where was I?

Oh there may be a down side for some of my friends. The Tenga isn’t as long as the FleshLight, It’s also not as wide.

The length might not be a deal breaker but the width of the business end could present a problem for some of my well endowed friends. You know who you are!

On my personal scale the Tenga is a great product. It’s a bit pricy but if it holds up, well  worth it. Throw in some excellent  Spunk Lube and this toy will have you spunking in short order.

To my friends… if you’re interested come on by I’ll let you take my new friend for a spin. Something I might add that I never felt entirely comfortable doing with my FleshLight, again that whole cleanliness issue.

Oh and you’re going to clean it… I’m not your fucking maid! And I’m probably going to watch. You all know I’m a voyeur so that should be no surprise!