Category: Gay / Straight

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Why the hell is the gender of your sex partner so damn important?

It’s one of those things that I’ve been pondering lately.

It’s pretty much universal that all humans want to get off. We’re wired to seek out the neurological overload and subsequent endorphin release of an orgasm.

Most of us at some point in our early adolescence figure out;

a) That feels nice

b) That feels really nice!

c) OH MY GOD I’m dying… I’ve broken something… are these convulsions going to kill me? What will my mother say when she finds me like this?

d) Hmmm, I wonder if I can do that again!

Embracing

Then we’re all off and running. We’re trying to see what happens when we combine parts. When we do finally manage to combine our parts we find a whole new world of endorphin rush, and hopefully though not guaranteed, the comfort of loving human touch.

Some of us have funny memories about our first sexual encounter. Sadly some of us have memories of that first time being violent and wrong.

Most of us are clumsy, & awkward, the first few times, and yet somehow even in the “loss of innocence” there is a wonderful innocence in discovery.

Several times in my life I’ve been honored to have been asked questions by virgins of both genders. I’ve always said to these people;

“Make a good and happy memory. It’s a memory that you will carry with you for the rest of your life and it’s worth taking the time to make it a good one.”

I’m also a believer in something Xavier Hollander said many years ago. “If you have to be high, or drunk to have sex… you’re not ready to have sex.”

Thing is… In our humanness we all have common ground. Gender is secondary to humanness or so I’ve always believed.

I’ve personally had loads of sexual fun with both genders. I’ve been privileged to show more than one curious straight man what sex between men is like.

To me the willingness of the person and my emotional attachment to them is top priority, we’ll figure out how to make our parts fit and get off in the bedroom behind closed doors.

When we’re done we’ll both have smiles on our faces and hopefully be better friends…

Sometimes the intimacy is a simple touch, or listening. At the other end of the spectrum it’s the deep intimacy of sex. However giving pleasure and comfort in whatever form is really nothing more than an expression of how much you care about someone.

Isn’t that really what it’s supposed to be about?

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Maybe I’m just out of sorts…

Or maybe I’ve just been pushed over a  threshold.

There was an article in the Daily Mail talking about actor Jim Parsons. The article seems to have been trying to whip up some shock value about Mr. Parsons being gay, in a 10 year relationship and never having brought his other half to any events or award shows.

The author  LINDA MASSARELLA appears very interested in the fact that Mr. Parsons hasn’t revealed his lovers name.

Glass walk in closet 1

SAY WHAT????

Ms. Massarella I have to ask… What the hell business  is it of yours?

There may be some very good reasons for not doing a Hollyweird REVEAL.

Mr. Parsons other half could be working in any one of a 1000 businesses where the knowledge that he is gay could limit his advancement or terminate his career.

I’ve seen American Business up close and personal. I’ve watched what happens when a fundamentalist boss decides an employee is gay.

No more promotions

No more raises (or fractional percentages)

Business needs trumping the suspected gay employees vacation at the last moment. Or vacation requests not being approved at all because of business needs.

The gay employee is sent on every business trip (hey they’re gay… they can go to a bus stop and have sex.) This phenomena is especially evident around holidays. The US Office of Personnel Management lists 10 days as federally recognized holidays in 2012.

Most American companies don’t recognize four of those holidays. That means that if a business trip is likely to take an employee away during a holiday, the employee that is ordered on the trip will be single and probably gay.

Contrary to popular belief… being gay in American business often demands living in the closet. It’s not about being ashamed of being gay… it’s about making sure that promotions, raises, and career advancement isn’t artificially limited.

Even if an employee has a good boss when they come out there’s no guarantee that the next boss won’t be a fundamentalist or even a mostly moderate Christian hell bent on punishing the evil gay sinner.

For those people reading this who are thinking “Well you can sue for discriminatory practices“. Yep you’re right, you can… If you can prove it and the burden of proof is on the employee being discriminated against. Even in California! 

If you consider the rather volatile nature of a performers income, it’s possible that Mr. Parsons other half was the primary breadwinner in the relationship. They built a life together based on faith, trust and the overwhelming desire to help each other achieve their dreams.

Mr Parsons desire could have been funded by his other half working in business providing financial stability while Mr Parsons went to auditions, taking any parts offered. They probably never counted on Mr Parsons landing a recurring part in a hit TV series. Mr Parsons probably took care of a lot of the day to day household things so that his man could focus on moving up in his career, come home in the evening, have a drink and relax.

They likely built their lives around their combined income and lived modestly. I personally wouldn’t be surprised if they were still living a mostly modest life where the rules haven’t changed much. As anyone in long term relationships knows the roles each party chooses don’t really change much over time.

Ms. Massarella cites an Out Magazine article written by Michael Musto as support for her thesis that somehow Jim Parsons is less than honorable because he hasn’t outed his other half. The Musto article says absolutely nothing about performers outing their other half. It says that the group in the glass closet is shrinking. And that it’s finally become honorable and sensible for performers to bust out of the glass closet.

Between the time the Musto article was published and Ms. Massarellas piece in the Daily Mail… Mustos point has been proven. Jim Parson is now standing in the rubble of his shattered closet.

So Ms. Massarella… before you imply someone is dishonorable you really should think about what you’re saying.

 

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In yet another spectacular failure of the American Education System…

Anderson Cooper interviews a supporter of Pastor Charles Worley.

Pastor Worley has recently come to national attention because of a sermon he delivered, in which he suggested that the Gays should be put in concentration camps to die off.

The good pastor and his church have taken a lot of heat for his sermon.

This young lady, I respect because she at least had the gumption to stand up for her pastor, her church, and her beliefs.

Sadly it appears that she hadn’t really thought out her game plan and she was obviously no match for Anderson.

A friend sent me this link

http://cnn.com/video/?/video/bestoftv/2012/05/24/ac-intv-church-member-defends-pastor.cnn

After watching the video I almost felt sorry for her.

However, my brain was hurting so badly by that point all I could think is, “She’s obviously a poster child for the failure of the American education system.”

Then I thought, “This is why we must teach human reproduction in school, cause this lady obviously doesn’t understand how babies are made.”

In fairness she does apparently come from an area of our country where fundamentalist Christians manage to block almost any social or scientific progress. Unless of course the scientific progress is in proving that God exists, or improved lung cancer treatments. I do hope she knows you can’t get pregnant from a toilet seat.

Anderson was nice to her too. He really didn’t rip her up as much as he could have. I guess thats one of the things I like most about Mr. Cooper, he adjusts his style to the intellect level of the interviewee.

Unfortunately… for Anderson to have reduced himself to her level would have required a Doctor and a Lobotomy.

Lets review;

1) Gay People are usually born to straight parents…

2) Putting all the gay men in one camp and all the lesbians in another camp would simply create one hell of a party! All these people wouldn’t have to work anymore and they could devote all that free time to working on their tans, literature, science, architecture, and of course… the next haute couture and hairstyling products for the straight people.

Mr Cooper did make one minor tactical error. It’s not his fault.

How could he have known about the time warp that exists in the Carolinas?

The folks living  there are still trying to get over the North having won the Civil War. They’ve only just begun to work through the complexities of World Wars 1 & 2. This poor lady probably didn’t realize that gay people were exterminated right along with Jewish people. That’s IF she even knew what a concentration camp was…

I’m sure that she’s never met a gay person. <wink, wink, nudge, nudge> At the risk of invoking a stereotype… I KNOW she’s never met a gay person! Clearly her hair dresser is straight!

The friend who sent me the clip said “You can’t fix stupid”

My response was “Sure you can… You give everyone IQ tests and the really dumb ones you put into two camps, all the men in one camp and all the women in another.  Then you make sure the fences are electrified and wait for the stupid people to die off. OH Wait!!! I’ve heard this plan before somewhere!“

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Ahhh The sweet smell of Down Home Christianity

Folks it’s happened once again. At least this time it’s not in Florida. But you really do have to ask what the hell is up with North Carolina????

What’s happened now you say?

Another God fearing down home Christian Minister / Pastor / Reverend / (Whatever) has demonstrated why Christianity and other religions will no doubt be banned in the future.

Now wait… before you go nuts and condemn me to hell, hear me out…

How many people have died due to the practice of various religions?

How many civilizations have been destroyed over religious practice?

It doesn’t seem to matter which side of the “Good Book” you’re on or which “Good Book” you read. Inevitably someone is going to get it into their head that THEIR view and practice of religion is the right one and your view is wrong. Shortly after that your wrongness will be punishable by death.

The funniest thing is that the latest Hate Spewing asshole would denounce and call for the bombing of the Taliban, Iran, Iraq, and probably the Palestinians too. Yet he fundamentally agrees with at least one tenant of these peoples religions.

YES!!! REALLY!

We must KILL THE FAGGOTS because THEY EXIST!

Below is a link to part of the heinous Hate Filled speech from the pulpit. If this link disappears, do a youtube search for Pastor Charles L Worley.

I don’t know how long this video will remain online. I’ve heard that the church is trying to remove it from public view. No wonder! If these are the values that Christianity espouses I think I’ll choose another religion… Perhaps something involving naked dancing around a fire and minimal animal sacrifice.

Let me sum up what this man is saying.

1) He wants to put lesbians in one concentration camp.

2) He wants to put Gay men in another concentration camp

3) He wants the fences to be electrified and expects for the Homosexual vermin to die out. ( I put the word Vermin in his mouth, and paraphrased the rest.)

Clearly this moron doesn’t understand where homosexuals come from.

Gay people are born. Gay people come from all walks of life, all families,  and all ethnicities.

Deity forbid there may even have been one or two gay people sitting in the congregation listening to this vitriol live. Had I been sitting there I’m sure that I’d have insured my passage to hell because I’d have been more than happy to have taken this guy on. 

He also doesnt’ address the issue of Bisexuals. I mean really what’s he going to do with them? Another concentration camp? I guess he’ll have to make sure they’re sterilized else they’re gonna breed!

This guy has no idea that it’s a fine line between concentration camps and outright murder. I’m surprised that he suggested just putting Lesbians in a camp. I kept expecting to hear that the Lesbians should be used as breeding stock. The Nazis used Lesbians against their will to breed Aryan babies. And they provided a great pick-me-up for the troops too! 

Imagine the outlet for all those pent-up Christian men whose wives aren’t putting out anymore. Oh and lets not forget that in the bible, there’s talk about men whose wives were barren and they were allowed to go hook up with a slave or a 2nd wife. I’m sure that all those good Christian women would welcome the relief. But what does that say about adultery?

OH Wait… It’s not adultery or fornication if the church said you can do it right?

So if the church says to go kill a bunch of people for Jesus it’s ok. See History: Crusades

You know, that’s EXACTLY what the 9/11 terrorists thought. Only they weren’t killing for Jesus, for them it was Muhammad. (Unless you believe the conspiracy theories.)

As always I’m left wondering how so many “religions of peace” end up pounding their plowshares into swords.

———— UPDATE ————–

The original link I embedded was gone by the time this post went live.

I’ve updated the post with another link. 

The new link is not as good as the original I posted. The original was 12 -13 minutes long and at least gave some context. After making the inflammatory statements he goes on to cite the Chapter in Leviticus, and another chapter in Romans, he builds his case following the usual conservative religious dogma.

Honestly, He and the church would have been better off letting the original video remain posted. While what he says is clearly scary… Why he says it is understandable from the standpoint of the dogma of his particular faith.

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Hey Religious Right… It’s all or nothing!

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First of all Let me say a few things right up front:

1) I rarely agree with Dan Savage

2) I often disagree with Joe of Joe.my.god

3) I’m not particularly religious

4) I rarely find enough compelling writing in Slate to continue reading more than a paragraph or two.

So you’ll understand that I took my blood pressure and temperature when I found myself reading an entire Slate article, agreeing with Dan Savage AND Joe about religion. I also checked to make sure that none of my neighbors had been raptured. Since I haven’t seen any Zombies walking around I’m going to assume that the zombie apocalypse hasn’t happened.

There’s been a lot of talk about Dan Savage lately. Frankly I hadn’t really paid any attention.

Hey he’s an activist, public speaker, television personality, blogger, sex advice columnist and makes a HELL of  a lot more money per year than I do.

Then Joe.my.god posts an excerpt from a Slate article saying that the author “nailed the Savage Flap”

I read the excerpt and thought “yeah” I agree with that so I went to the full article on Slate.

I  have to say the author makes some really good points. In the article Dan Savage is quoted as pointing out that Christians and Jews for that matter choose to ignore parts of the Bible that they no longer agree with.

Minor things.. .

Don’t eat shellfish

Don’t eat pork

Don’t work on the sabbath.

Stone an adulterer

It’s OK to keep slaves

Don’t mix linen and wool clothing items.

Savage goes on to say in his colorfully irreverent way that If Christians can ignore these things, they can just as easily learn to ignore the proscriptions against homosexuality.

I have to agree with him.

The Christian Right can’t pick and choose which rules it’s going to obey while at the same time condemning people with those same rules… That’s called hypocrisy.

Jesus christ

Hypocrisy on the part of the established religion of the time is one of the reasons Christ got put on the cross. Even the Roman governor found the whole matter distasteful. We know this because he literally washed his hands of it.

Pontius pilate

Believe me Pilate would never have put the question to the crowd if he was convinced in the slightest of Christs guilt.

The Romans would have marched Christ and all the other criminals right out to Golgotha and that would have been the end of the story and another false “Prophet”. Rome wasn’t known for dealing lightly with it’s prefectures & they were especially heavy handed in the case of troublemakers or rebels.

The hypocrisy I speak of is not that of the crowd who freed the murderer instead of Christ. The Hypocrisy was on the part of the Pharisees who had become rich and powerful and invested in the Roman occupation. For them, it wasn’t about worshiping their God anymore it was about maintaining the status quo and good relations with Rome.

No I have no intention of deifying either Dan Savage or Joe. They’re both far from saints and certainly can’t walk on water even in their very best heels. I simply point out that Dan Savage is right.

If the Christian right wants to really demonstrate it’s commitment to fundamentalist, literal intrepretation of the Bible… They have to take all of it.

So NOM, Focus on the Family, and all you other hypocrites shut the hell up until you’re ready to have some good old stonings of adulterers. Oh and you can start with a number of your leaders. You know who they are, they made impassioned public pleas for forgiveness when they got caught cheating on their spouses.

Impassioned plea or not… Biblical law is the Biblical law. We know you’re sorry… but the law says you must be stoned to death.

Hummm Starts to sound a LOT like the Taliban doesn’t it?

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