Category: Gay / Straight

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Stop bringing NAMBLA into the discussion!

Is it just me?

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Or has Mention of NAMBLA come up way too often in conversation about Same Sex Marriage?

In the linked article above there is a big difference between what the Justice Sotomayor said and what Dr Carson said. 

I’ll grant you they were both discussing the slippery slope issue, essentially asking; “where do you stop?” But Dr Carson chose a particularly inflammatory and to my mind distasteful comparison.

His intent was to limit disagreement by painting anyone who disagreed with him as someone who by extension supported child molestation.

Anyone reading the quote “be they gays, be they NAMBLA [North American Man/Boy Love Association]” could not help but make the comparison and incorrect hopefully temporary association that all main stream GLBT persons are pedophiles.

That was Dr Carsons intent. He chose to support his assertion in defense traditional marriage by shock and fear creating a horrific image in his readers / listeners minds.

The reason that Justice Sotomayor wasn’t ripped up for her question is that she framed it without the rhetoric. As questions and answers in matters of law should be framed. 

Dr Carsons intent was to inflame passions and he was chewed up and spat out over it. If you can’t handle the heat… Needless to say I have little pity for Dr Carson getting beat up but he is entitled to his opinion and his say.  The left, should have simply called him on the NAMBLA part of his statement and explained why it was offensive.

Aside from NAMBLA not representing main stream GLBT people, I find that NAMBLA being invoked by the Ultra Right, religious conservatives to be strange and offensive.

I never think of NAMBLA, I find it odd that so many in the religious right apparently do. 

Invoking NAMBLA in any way as a reason that Same Sex Marriage shouldn’t be allowed is in my mind akin to saying;

The South shouldn’t have voting rights because the KKK exists there.

Or that Idaho should have its federal funding cut because of the White Supremacist movement

Or African Americans are all terrorists because of the Black Panthers.

Or that independent breakaway religious denominations should be banned because of Jonestown or Branch Davidians.

We all have relatives that we’d rather not parade around.

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Most of the time, in the interest of good taste we don’t mention fringe elements much less attempt to present them as the “Norm” and why people should fear a particular group.

In the interest of civility can we all agree that NAMBLA is a minuscule minority element of the much larger GLBT community?

Proponents of Same Sex Marriage aren’t seeking to undermine Marriage. They’re seeking to be included equally in the institution of Marriage.

The laws concerning adulthood and age of consent will apply equally to NAMBLA as they would to all citizens of the country regardless of Same Sex Marriage.

So please lets pull NAMBLA off the table as a talking point… 

FOREVER!!!!

I’m going to regret having included NAMBLA in this blog. Now I’ll know how often that acronym is searched for, Thanks a lot conservative religious right. There are some things I’m really better off not knowing…

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I’m astounded at the venom

I’ve been skimming Twitter.

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I am astounded by the nastiness and venomous gloating coming from the gay community. Over the election results.

I thought these people were the “Educated, Liberal segment of our society”. I thought they were the folks who purported themselves to be better than the zealous, mean, rich, conservative religious right.

I expected them to take the high road and “Win” with grace and good sportsmanship.

Apparently, I was completely WRONG!

Yet another reason that so many Bi & Non mainstream Gay men refuse to associate with the Gay community.

It’s not that these men are ashamed of their sexuality… it’s that they’re embarrassed  by the mainstream “GAY” people who so clearly don’t represent them. 

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I saw this little jewel on TOWLEROAD a while back

I’ve let this one steep a while since I wasn’t really sure that I wanted to be quite this out there. But I’m thinking aww what the hell?

I’ve gotta file this one under the WTF category…

Friend of Norwegian Mass Murderer Anders Behring Breivik Thought He Was Gay, Closeted

Read more: TOWLEROAD

I have to ask what does this guys sexuality have to do with the fact that he’s on trial for killing 77 people?

This guy has confessed to committing the murders but claims that he did so to protect his beloved homeland and culture.

The piece also comments on the fact that Breivik had a nose job “so he could have a more “Aryan” nose”. So what?

I’m not sure what the attorneys in Norway are trying to prove.

Breivik, had he been the leader of a revolution that won… would be described as a liberator and hero to his people for protecting the purity of Norwegian culture.

However since Breivik was acting alone he’s perceived as a nutcase and murderer. Now it looks as if the Norwegian court is trying to marginalize the crime and his stated reasons for committing it by painting him as a vain, closeted homosexual who acted out.

This suggests to me that perhaps Norwegian society isn’t ready to consider that they may have a larger problem…

They’re hoping that the Breivik case is a “one-off“.  Perhaps it is.

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But what if it’s not?

Lets look at this another way…

What kind of social pressure, cultural change, and abuse does it take for a vain, closeted homosexual to make, plant and detonate a bomb, or pick up a rifle and start shooting people?

The Norwegians had a bit of civil unrest several years ago because one of their cartoonists drew a picture. That picture while protected under Norwegian free speech rights still had to be apologized for. The artist still had to flee his home. The Norwegian government, instead of expelling those who sought to deny the artist his rights made concessions to a radical minority.

The imposition of foreign cultural taboos on a society will inevitably result in unrest. 

Vivid examples include Palastine, and Iran.

The Shah of Iran was deposed at least in part because his policies were too progressive, and  too Western. Apparently the religious infrastructure of the country perceiving a threat to their tradition, power and culture incited a coup. The ruling government then exiled all foreigners, nationalized all the resources and descended into an almost isolationist (from the West except for oil sales) period.

The Palestinians resented in 1947 and do to this day control being imposed on them by the West in the creation of the State of Israel.

I’m not suggesting that Breivik was in any way correct in what he did.

What I’m saying is that perhaps Norway should look more carefully at it’s rising nationalism and the factors that are contributing to it.

Otherwise the next  Breivik will organize an insurgent movement. Such a movement could easily be aimed at focusing Norways’ rising nationalism against the Norwegian government and all people that are perceived as a threat to Norwegian cultural values.

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Something that I’ve noticed lately

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Occasionally, I’ll wander through adult ads.

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What I’m looking for is people with a similar mindset to my own, for friendship.

There are a LOT of flaky fuckers out there! To most of you, that probably comes as no surprise.

One of the things that has recently struck me as weird is how many ads apologize for specifying a racial preference.

OK, ok…  some of the ads I peruse are FWB (friends with benefits) in nature. Hey some of the kinky stuff people are into is amazing! I wouldn’t mind someone that I could hang out with and have some more intimate fun with.

I’ve noticed this growing trend to say something like;

“I’m a white person looking for other white people. I’m not into black, asian, or hispanic, sorry that’s just my preference.“

I’m frankly confused by this apparent need to apologize for stating a preference.

I personally am not attracted to fat white people, or people with poor hygiene, or people with heavy tattoo work. I make no apologies for that. I’m also not attracted sexually to black people and it’s a very rare asian or hispanic person that I even entertain a vague sexual thought about.

SO What?

Just because we’re forced to live in a kumbaya “We have to love everyone, and everyone should feel good about themselves” mediocre country, doesn’t mean that I have to share my friendship… or my bed with everyone.

When I talk about being someones friend it’s not in the fair weather sense.

I’m not particularly needy I can be quite content on my own. That doesn’t negate the fact that I’m a social animal and would appreciate the companionship.

I want to build my circle of friends. I can be a very good friend, you know… the kind of person that you can call at 3 am to pick your drunken ass up at a coffee shop or some chicks house when things went badly.

I expect the same kind of reliability of those that I call my friend too. 

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When it comes to sex… I try my personal best to never be mediocre about it!

There is absolutely nothing wrong with stating your racial preferences right up front. It saves everyone time, prevents misunderstandings, and potentially hurt feelings.

This is not being a racist!

How the hell are you going to perform in bed with someone that you’re not the least bit attracted to?

I suppose if I were an Escort or prostitute I wouldn’t have any ground to stand on. Mainly because I’d be in love with the Green color of Money!

But in my personal sex life I can afford to be picky.

So lets all grow up and stop apologizing for shit that you can’t change and accept that all of us have likes and dislikes and there’s nothing wrong with that.

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Why the hell is the gender of your sex partner so damn important?

It’s one of those things that I’ve been pondering lately.

It’s pretty much universal that all humans want to get off. We’re wired to seek out the neurological overload and subsequent endorphin release of an orgasm.

Most of us at some point in our early adolescence figure out;

a) That feels nice

b) That feels really nice!

c) OH MY GOD I’m dying… I’ve broken something… are these convulsions going to kill me? What will my mother say when she finds me like this?

d) Hmmm, I wonder if I can do that again!

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Then we’re all off and running. We’re trying to see what happens when we combine parts. When we do finally manage to combine our parts we find a whole new world of endorphin rush, and hopefully though not guaranteed, the comfort of loving human touch.

Some of us have funny memories about our first sexual encounter. Sadly some of us have memories of that first time being violent and wrong.

Most of us are clumsy, & awkward, the first few times, and yet somehow even in the “loss of innocence” there is a wonderful innocence in discovery.

Several times in my life I’ve been honored to have been asked questions by virgins of both genders. I’ve always said to these people;

“Make a good and happy memory. It’s a memory that you will carry with you for the rest of your life and it’s worth taking the time to make it a good one.”

I’m also a believer in something Xavier Hollander said many years ago. “If you have to be high, or drunk to have sex… you’re not ready to have sex.”

Thing is… In our humanness we all have common ground. Gender is secondary to humanness or so I’ve always believed.

I’ve personally had loads of sexual fun with both genders. I’ve been privileged to show more than one curious straight man what sex between men is like.

To me the willingness of the person and my emotional attachment to them is top priority, we’ll figure out how to make our parts fit and get off in the bedroom behind closed doors.

When we’re done we’ll both have smiles on our faces and hopefully be better friends…

Sometimes the intimacy is a simple touch, or listening. At the other end of the spectrum it’s the deep intimacy of sex. However giving pleasure and comfort in whatever form is really nothing more than an expression of how much you care about someone.

Isn’t that really what it’s supposed to be about?