Category: Gay / Straight

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Video Chat Etiquette… OR When did we become such touchy feely pussies?

I had an hour or so tonight. I’m a little pent up and figured “what the hell I’ll go rub one out.”

I’m just about to sign off the ‘net to go sign onto my personal pleasure time when an Old friend pops on one of the chat programs and says hi.

I start the video feed and since I’m sans shirt he makes some crack like you naked?? I pan the camera down and Why, yes… yes I am naked as the day I was born.

He smiles and his clothes disappear like the Enterprise Transporter got them.

We start doing what boys do. And we’re having a great time talking dirty and being nasty.

Then he has someone at his door. It’s an old friend of his and my friend has to go. Annoying yes… but shit happens and I was going to go play by myself anyway.

Then I think wait a minute I’m kinda wanting to be an exhibitionist so I sign onto ispq and almost immediately I’m getting quick messages.

I answer the dumbfuck wimpy “hi” messages.

I even answer the messages that have NO text in them.

I’m prowling, I want to play, I want to show, I’m not really up for “hi…”

Let me make this clear

IF A DUDE ANSWERS YOUR MESSAGE, COCK IN HAND HE’S NOT INTERESTED IN YOUR FEELINGS!

Don’t tell him you’re not ready,

Don’t pepper him with endless ONE line messages.

Just shut the FUCK up, grab your cock, and answer the video chat request. OR NOT.

And if it’s NOT then have the good graces to not keep sending chat messages.

If a guy asks you into a videochat say yes, say no but you really should understand he wants to video because HES GOT HIS HANDS FULL.

I was asked the following tonight.

“Hi” [ 5 times] — Uh can’t we be a little more literate?  How about “Hello,  I liked your profile are you here to chat or are you wanting to just get to stroking?”

“hi..you bi? curious” — Really? DOES IT FUCKING MATTER? I answered your message with cock in hand who cares if I’m bi, curious, straight, or gay. Cock in hand trumps stupid questions.

“you hairy chested? ” — Uhmmm you have a picture of me from tits to balls cock in hand. You really need to ask this?

“how big is cock?” — Does it matter? you’re not going to be deep throating it, or taking it up your ass over a video link.

“you´re hot, but I´m not horny enough for a cam fun” — this you say AFTER you’e joined and left a live videochat? FUCK YOU!

“do you have skype chat?” — the answer is YES what’s YOUR address?

“you look like my fuckbuddy… nice body…” — Thanks, stroke your dick with me and stop chatting!

“when you cum last” — Really? AGAIN… DOES IT FUCKING MATTER? I’m obviously wanting to cum TODAY…. NOW!

“Hi how are you?” — again, I’m fine and obviously looking to rub one out answered with cock in hand.

“what you up to?” — Ummmm stroking my cock see picture above!

“just signed on and looking around” — fine are you going to join me OR NOT?

“uncut?” — I guess I could see this one. There are things you can ask to see on an uncut cock that you can’t on a cut one.

<blank> Picture — whatever.

<blank> shirtless picture — Ok you’ve got my interest

“Show face” — Ok you lost me with that You’ll see my face and everything else if you let me get on with the videochat

When I’m allowed to stroke my dick and not being forced to answer stupid questions I actually put on a pretty good show. AND that show is FREE.

MEN if you’re going to jerk off … DO IT enjoy it and let everyone else enjoy themselves too. Stop acting like a bunch of huggy touchy feely spineless doormats.

What happened to us? I remember it being “normal” to haul my cock out of my pants IN a BAR and be stroked & sucked until I couldn’t take anymore touching.

Here’s The Single message  I sent to a guy later in the night when I logged back into ispq to just flat out block those other morons.

His opening message was a picture of him tits to balls and he said “Hello you up for some play?”

Hola dude. you missed me by about an hour. I was raring to go and wanted to stroke with a guy.
After 5 guys that kept chatting when I wanted to stroke cock not type.
I logged off and did my thing alone.
I wont do that to you. Friend me and next time I’m available lets rub one out together.
I logged back on to block one of these guys cause he was just annoying as hell
Would have loved to videoed with you though.

After he got my message. This man even had the courtesy to say “thanks man” he went on to find someone who was up for it. That’s STYLE and I’ll look for him specifically the next time I’m in a mood.

I have often thought about setting up an Xtube account. Maybe this is why that service is so popular. 

At least then I could charge for my exhibitionism.

When folks at paying by them minute they tend to be a lot less annoyingly verbose.

Everybody needs multiple income streams don’t they?

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Congratulations New York!


Congratulations to my friends in New York.

Guys ya done good!

Now, unfortunately you’re going to have to fight hard to keep your right to marry. Your opponents are going to fight dirty!

Even now while you’re celebrating, there are people gathering money, lawyers, and public relations folks. They are preparing to wage a battle to defer your ability to seize your marriage rights.

They will fight to defer the date you can marry, then they will work to render the law unconstitutional and invalidate the process that put the law on the books.

In all likely hood they will pull out all the stops and do everything to characterize you, your partner, your children, and anything that you have created or done as something hideous.

In some of the most evangelical circles, there may even be “Men of God” who incite violence against you or anyone perceived to be gay.


My friends and brothers, Celebrate this weekend!
…On Monday be prepared for a renewed fight.

Don’t let what happened in California happen to you.

Religious groups time and again talk about “The Gay Agenda” and  how “The Children” will be hurt.


The ONLY GAY AGENDA is this. Gay people want the RIGHTS, and PRIVILEGES that they are ENTITLED TO, NOTHING MORE!

This notion that Gays want special rights comes directly from the fact that so many people have worked so hard to insure Gay peoples rights were abridged!

Gay people pay taxes, own homes, and are contributing members of society.

It makes absolutely NO FUCKING sense that simply identifying ones self as GAY strips you of the rights, that being a citizen of the United States conferred on you a moment before you said the word.

The gay agenda is TAKING BACK rights that were TAKEN away by a bunch of fucking insecure zealots who couldn’t abide someone that was different. Unless of course the “different” person could do something for them. Alan Turing springs to mind.


THE CHILDREN

I know a lot of gay men who have children.

When these men came out and divorced their wives, Their children were more hurt by the divorce than they were by their Dad being gay. Dads are Dads regardless of who they sleep with.

To a man, their Children are priority number 1. I know men that broke up, because they were concerned that their boyfriends didn’t have the appropriate values to be around their children. This is parenting… it’s not a Gay or Straight issue.

I know it’s infinitely better for a child to have EVEN a single responsible loving parent than to live in an institution. Having two loving parents regardless of their genders can only be even better for a child.

Lets take “THE CHILDREN” off the table as a weapon / or bargaining chip. THE CHILDREN deserve better.

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Daddy ME?

 

Perception is funny.

I don’t think of myself as anything other than just a guy.

Imagine my surprise when I was referred to as “That Hot Daddy” over there…

WTF? I’m no Daddy, I’m just a guy… Then I realized that perhaps Daddy is much like Bear. It’s an attitude as much as what you’re wearing or whether you have a dungeon.

I however never expected to be sexualized as a “Daddy” in a bar. Not that I mind, per se. I’m just a bit surprised.

I asked a friend about it. “Am I a Daddy?”

He reply was “Oh yeah…”

When I pressed for him to elaborate, he said, “You’re confident, you walk in places like you OWN them and you know your place in the world. You are obviously all about control. Couple that with your penchant for good leather boots and your complete LACK of costume in a bar where full Leather IS the uniform, and you come across as very strong and in charge. It’s appealing to a lot of folks. Since I know you are familiar with certain Kinky aspects of sex I think of you as a total Daddy.”

I’m stunned. My friend grins, “You didn’t know?” then busts up laughing.

Nope I didn’t know. More to the point, I was Clueless.

But I started thinking about my “Style” for want of a better term.

I do own a couple leather jackets, for warmth in the winter. I do not own any leather pants, shirts, vests, or caps.

I suppose I’m more about practicality than costume.

Don’t get me wrong, I’d enjoy owning some of these things, I simply refuse to pay top dollar for products that I think are of questionable quality. And lets face it a lot of this stuff is mass produced in India or China.

I would probably be more likely to make these purchases if I could find someone to custom fit me. I know that there are people around who do that sort of thing… but it’s not a high priority for me.

Buying this stuff isn’t high on my list of important things because I’ve always felt that stuff I own should be natural to who I am.

I will sometimes run across an item that “Feels right” when I do, I buy it. The “Rightness” is very important to me. That’s why I had one of my favorite leather Jackets cleaned and restored after the fire. The Jacket still has a little smoky smell, Thanks to a Doc Baileys treatment before the fire and good professional cleaners after, my jacket has real “Character” now. I never want to feel like I’m putting on a costume. I always want be comfortable and authentic in what I’m wearing and how I present who I am.

Being outfitted head to toe in leather attire isn’t going to change who I am.  Dressing the part isn’t going to make me any better in bed. Sure it may add to the fantasy. In point of fact unless I’m engaged in a scene where leather is a primary actor we’re going to be skin to skin anyway.

At that point the leather you’re concerned about will be the leather implements I’m going to use to take you to your personal edge. After all, isn’t that what you’re interested in anyway?

So I guess I’m a Daddy, I wish I’d noticed this transition. But apparently, part of my Daddyness is the fact that I’m unaware of it.

People need to  bring me up to speed more often…

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Thoughts on not fitting in

I’m not a fashionista, Can’t recite show tunes, Cross-dressers make me uncomfortable (I’m polite but do my best to leave quickly. Hummm, It’s the same discomfort that I have around clowns. My therapist would’ve had a field say with that one!)

I don’t dance, I’m not looking for personal slights in every fucking publication, news broadcast, or sporting event. I couldn’t care less about the implications of faggot as a hateful word, I’m not impressed with pride parades,

In short I don’t now and frankly never have felt represented by the gay community in general.

In point of fact when purchasing certain items of a sexual nature I’ll spend my money with 1 or 2 “gay” businesses. The rest of my bucks go to more “mainstream” businesses. (That is an oxymoronic statement when I think about the items I’m purchasing.)

So while I do enjoy sleeping with another man, I do not identify with the “Glad hand, GAY”. My sleeping habits notwithstanding I’m first and foremost just a man.

Sexual partners, or sexual practices such as (BDSM) shouldn’t define us, no matter how much fun they are. Our humanity and how we interact with society defines us, all the rest is secondary.

I think that belief is why I don’t fit with the more familiar Gay community. Oh it’s not about self hate, or any of that psycho babble BS.

There are a lot of men like me. We’re there in some of the bars quietly sipping our drink and wondering if there is a place where more men like us are hanging out.

There aren’t. The closest I’ve found is one of the more renowned leather bars in the city. At least there I don’t have to worry about cross-dressers. The only issue I’ve had, has been with select members of  the “New Leather community” and those youngsters are easy to make go away.

I’ve also run across guys like me in local neighborhood bars. More often in bars that were gay than not, but we’re to be found in almost ANY local pub.

We’re usually gone by the time happy hour is over. We work day jobs. We may have someone waiting at home for us. So we stop in for a drink or two. As the really young crowd start rolling in, and the music gets turned up, we start taking off.

For the most part we just don’t connect with the “now” crowd.

On the other hand if it’s a matter of getting my dick sucked… or opening a sweet young thing for the first time.

Well at least I know which celebrity is involved in which scandal this week. So I’m able to be what they need me to be at for a few hours or until their mouths are full.

I said I didn’t connect… never said I was stupid. Obviously I’d prefer a man like me. You know, a dude with some experience and who’s been around the block a couple of times. I’ll take an experienced lover over an exuberant one anytime.

I’m not unhappy about not fitting in, in fact I think that being an individual is a lot more important and interesting than becoming a good little sheep. I do wish it was easier to find other men like me,  when I do find another guy like me It’s like a miracle.

A miracle that I appreciate with sweat, cum, and as much time as we can spend getting sweaty and unloading our balls.

Some people go to church…

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Sex

I like sex. By that I mean I REALLY like sex.

What man doesn’t?

I like it with myself, while watching porn, with others, with groups, with one hot person, in short let me have sex. Let me be naked, let me be hard, let me CUM!!!

Lately though, I’m embarked on a new exploration.

This exploration has occured due to a discussion I was having with a friend and from reading his blogs.

For a long time Women have supposedly been able to become multi-orgasmic.

Rarely in the west has it been discussed as an option for men. But it is posible.

I was chatting with this friend and mentioned that I was in a sexual rut.

I’d been looking for something to break me out of a long period of the doldrums with regard to my own sexuality, but wasn’t having much luck. Even with innumerable  meaningless assignations I’d enjoyed from time to time.

The problem with super casual sex is that one you’ve both cum, you’re pretty much done.
You all know that feeling. Get naked, lick, lick, lick, suck, suck, suck, groan, groan, groan, fuck, fuck, fuck, “Oh Baby, Oh Baby, Oh Baby” squirt, squirt, squirt, Clean up the cum, pull your jeans, shirt, & shoes on, say you’ll call and beat feet out the door.

You engaged in a purely physical process that is about as satisfying as blowing your nose. When you’re done you move on to the next thing without actually being present in the awesomeness of cumming.

I was looking for something a little more interesting.

My friend mentioned re-learning masturbation. “I thought dude… with all the practice I’ve had I’ve pretty much got that down!”

Oh come on… we all did it as boys and we STILL jeck off. I defy any of you out there to tell me as boys you didn’t work your dicks so hard and often you weren’t raw sometimes.

I personally believe that every Father should talk about masturbation with their sons and it would be very cool if they mentioned that they still did it even though they were married. God knows that would help to remove the guilt and shame.

My friend went on to explain… As boys when we submit to our lust and discover the pleasure that our cocks and balls can give us we learn to be furtive and fast in our masturbatory behavior. Part of this is due to embarassment, part due to religious guilt and part due to the societal messages we get as we’re growing up.

Who hasn’t heard “it will make you go blind”, “you’ll grow hair on your palms”, “Jesus cries when you touch yourself”. (That one is really sick! Jesus was a dude, he’d be crying if you didn’t experience the joy our bodies can bring us.)  In any case because of all of these things, we develop patterns of masturbation the change little as we get older.

As young men in my personal experience, we  get into the mind set “Get it as much and as often as we can” and even in relationships we never really change the behavior.

I think I fell into that category simply because many of my early sexual partners treated sex as some kind of reward for putting up with their stupid shit. (Sweetheart, your hole ain’t quite as golden as you think it is and would it kill you to wash it?)

My first clue should have been that they were using sex as a golden carrot and my second clue should have been that I thought most of the stuff my partners were concerned about was plain stupid. Well live and learn!!!!

As a result I found myself figuring “when I get the chance to fuck, or be sucked I’m going to go as many times as I can”. I was a crazy person and a lot of that sex was really hollow for a wide variety of reasons.

Hell, I’ve been involved in orgies where the object wasn’t necessarily to enjoy yourself but to see if you could cum more and faster than other guys in the room. (As an aside… I’ve won some of those competitions!) In retrospect, I wish that I’d been more in tune with enjoying the moment rather than the competition.

Needless to say unless you grow up, adapt, and learn to slow down, savor, and enjoy the time you’re not going to be all that fulfilled sexually. Which is EXACTLY where I found myself.

What kind of sick bastard finds himself flogging the hell out of a lovely sub and is BORED?

Hi There! Sick bastard here!

Thankfully, I’m not too far gone. In that example the chemistry just wasn’t right for either of us. But performance art is art nonetheless (Another story for another time)

I’ve digressed, a bit.

The simplest explanation of the multi-orgasmic practice is that just before the point that you actually blow your load, you’ve actually begun to orgasm.

This is a technique for hanging in that place and learning to extend the time you stay in the orgasm phase without moving on to the ejaculation phase.

As a part of the practice you develop a realization that you have the choice to blow your load or not. It’s an interesting learning exercise. I can see the potential and I like that there are options I couldn’t see before.

The practice time is a lot of fun too!

I need a lot of practice!

As I get further into this I’ll write more about what I’m experiencing. In the mean time you can check out The Multi–Orgasmic Man: Sexual Secrets Every Man Should Know. It’s available from most booksellers.