Category: Humor

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It’s well known that I’m impatient with websites, and software

I was trying to figure out why websites in particular annoy me, and then it dawned on me.  I get annoyed because I always fall down the rabbit hole with websites. It seems it’s always more likely for me to have difficulties than anyone else I know.

This is in fact the curse of having been a software QA person. Apparently, its something that is completely genetic and regardless of your current occupation you always have software faults  jump out at you.  Its sort of a “BOO! You can’t report me, neener neener.” from the software that you’re trying to use and not intending to test. Or you could call this taunting more like a red cape being waved in front of a bull. Most often I’ll see the most egregious errors when I’ve lost a password to a web site. 

I Navigate to a web site, then discover I’ve forgotten the password. I initiate lost password recovery procedure which asks for email address I used when the account was created.

I enter the email that the website is using to SPAM my ass.

<We don’t that email address on file, try again.>

At this point I’m usually dumbfounded and go back to my email, find their SPAM, verify the address they’re using and copy that address right out of the email they’ve sent me. 

<We don’t that email address on file, try again.>

What? I go to the “I forgot my user ID” section of the page.

Often entering the email the web site claims they don’t have on file yields access to the recovery the user ID.

The question that goes through my mind is;  

If the web site doesn’t have my email address on file, then why do I get SPAM from the site and more interestingly why am I able to recover a user ID with a reportedly unknown email address.

At this point I sigh and move on.

With the recovered ID, I move on to the forgot password section of the website.

About half the time, the recovered ID still generates: 

<We don’t that email address on file, try again.>

In the event that I am able to progress to resetting the password then we go down the rabbit hole of what’s an acceptable password.

I try fart

<Your entry is invalid. Your password must be eight characters long> 

I enter fartfart

<Your entry is invalid. Your password must be eight characters long and contain at least one capital letter>

I enter Fartfart

<Your entry is invalid. Your password must be eight characters long and contain at least one numeral.>

I enter Fartfart1

<Your entry is invalid. Your password must be eight characters long and contain at least one special character such as a space, or punctuation mark.>

I enter Fart fart 9

<Your entry is invalid. Your password must be eight characters long and contain at least one special character such as a space, or punctuation mark.>

In frustration I enter, Map-eb-aIbr-oal-eiD-aK-

<Password Accepted>

To complete the change to your password, answer the following security questions. You have 10 minutes to complete these answers.

What Town were you born in?

What is your favorite color?

When did you lose your virginity?

How big is your dick?

When did you stop beating your wife?

What was the name of your first dog?

How was that dog killed?

How have you resolved your feelings at being responsible for the death of your first dog?

Where did your parents meet?

How many times a week did your father beat your mother?

Since you were responsible for the abuse your mother took at the hands of your father has that colored your adult relationships?

When your fourth dog died of old age, did you feel that you’d been forgiven for causing the “Accidental” deaths of the preceding 3 dogs?

How long have you had inappropriate sexual feelings?

Your password has been changed, please login using your new credentials… 

PenisFlats

At which point I’m quivering in my chair suffering a psychological crisis generated by the combination of general frustration, and answering the security questions.

After 40 minutes of deep breathing, a couple of stiff drinks and an overdose of Prozac.

I remember why I was trying to log into the web site in the first place.

I log back in to the site, and close my account.

You see, my vacation plans changed and I will not be visiting Penis Flats, so I want the Penis Flats chamber of commerce to stop sending me vacation ideas.

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Does anyone else see the irony here?

Anonymous hooded reuters

Or is it just me?

Saw this headline on Breitbart and blew ice tea out my nose.

“Hacktivist Group ‘Anonymous’ Plans Cyber Warfare against Countries that Support ISIS”

Really!

The reason i blew ice tea out my nose is that ANONYMOUS is, for want of a better term an Anarchist group that our government calls “Terrorists” on a fairly regular basis.

I find it ironic beyond belief that this “Cyber-Terrorist” group is doing more than our government to shut down ISIS.

Hell, if I could help Anonymous I probably would.

This is a completely amazing turn of events and I totally applaud Anonymous in their efforts.

I hope they remember to take out CAIR while they’re at it.

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OH NO!!!! I’m going Primitive today

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The Power company is doing some work and they’re going to be turning off the power to the neighborhood for about 8 hours.

THE HORROR!!!

I’ll have no internet, no television, no twitter feed to keep my apprised of a government run amok.  My god… I’ll not even have my one cup at a time coffee machine. Ok now the panic is rising…

Deep Breaths, Nice deep breaths.

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I’ve already shut down the backup drives and will be shutting down the WiFi network about 5 minutes prior to their scheduled outage. Not because I’m worried about the WiFi but because its part of my Apple Time Capsule and I’d like make sure that the drive in the TC is shutdown properly.

Been wondering about the merits of having a separate WiFi router in my network and just letting the network drives be… well drives.  This kind of thing is another reason to go separate router.

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So I’m going to be writing and doing chores that don’t require power. (My computer battery is good for at least 6 hours). This is one of those times when I wish that I had rooftop solar and was able to run off the grid most of the time.

The one thing i can say about power outages up here is that it gets really quiet I can’t complain about that.

Till the flip side, have a great Friday.

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Silly Sheeple, Tricks are for Karl

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I’ve been amused for the past couple of days over Karl Rove’s remarks about Hillary Clinton.

The headlines have been funny.

Karl Rove faces backlash on Hillary Clinton remarks. Did he go too far?

Karl Rove Suggests Hillary Clinton has Brain Damage

Karl Rove didn’t go too far, he went EXACTLY far enough.  He manipulated the main stream media into propagating a discussion he wanted to put in front of the American People. He brilliantly used Hillary Clintons previous escape hatch from the Benghazi hearings to do it.

In chess this is called checkmate.

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Hillary will spend the rest of her Campaign (if she decides to run) answering questions about her health.

It’s very much like the Dr Who episode where The Doctor is angry at Prime Minister Harriet Jones. He tells her “I can bring you down with just six words.”

The words he whispers in the ear of her assistant are;

“Don’t you think she looks tired?”

She is brought down amid rumors of ill health and finally a vote of no confidence.

Life imitates art I guess.

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The Main stream media will continue to churn and regurgitate the question until Karl Roves part in the affair is forgotten and only the question remains. The question will take on a life of its own and will morph into an assumed “Fact” that Hillary has health issues and it will drag on her campaign.

Even now on Foxews.com there’s a piece titled

Clintons seek to show new vigor amid age worries 

Rove may be a Dark Lord, but DAMN! he’s good at it!

Hillary’s supporters spun up all of Tuesday trashing Rove, but in each and every piece, they explained what Rove said that made them so angry.  There was someone once who said  something like “Even bad publicity is publicity”.

The Hillary supporters, in one day, without realizing it gave Rove exactly what he wanted. Wide Distribution!  They can badmouth him all they want, but to do it, they have to repeat the message he wanted to get out. “Hillary may not be healthy enough for a Campaign or the Presidency.”  Hillary’s supporters are working for Karl Rove for FREE.

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Let’s be honest, isn’t the fear of poor health what killed John McCain’s run for the presidency?

No-one had a problem with McCain. The fear was that if he died in office, Sarah Palin would be President.

The Media had done such a wonderful job of character assassination on her, that people voted for Obama rather than risk the wild card of Palin being President.

Rove simply used the Democratic play book. I think the brilliance is that he’s gotten so far out in front, that Hillary’s campaign will be dogged by health rumors for the next two years.

Hillary can’t have so much as a simple cold.

I’m not suggesting that this is enough to end Ms Clinton’s campaign run, I’m saying that it adds stress to the campaign and that stress is going to be exhausting over the next two years.

I’ve no pity for Ms. Clinton. I don’t think she’s a particularly good person, and I think she’d be a really bad President. There are too many questions about her role in shady dealings starting with the Whitewater scandal and ending with the Benghazi attack.

Karl Rove may be a bastard, but I respect his brand of evil!

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Islam is a religion of Peace and justice?

I was willing to buy Islamic fundamentalists were giving Islam a bad name… Then I noticed that people purporting to be Islamic, are all over the planet doing the most horrific things.  

Even the worst of Christian Fundamentalists aren’t running around burning, kidnapping, killing, and engaging in the slave trade. Most of the time they’re running their mouths and nothing else.

When I see stuff like the snippets below, I have to rethink my position.

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Boko Haram kidnaps schoolgirls to sell into slavery.

What can you say?

Islam says slavery is OK. I find it ironic that 300 – 400 years after the white man was being sold slaves on the Nigerian coast.

We have slaves being sold from a Nigerian Islamic to other Islamic countries as sex slaves.  Honestly, this makes my heard hurt. 

CAIR would say; “Islam is a peaceful religion. This is a group of fundamentalists. They don’t represent the mainstream of Islam.”

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For the record, I’m opposed to the US Military becoming involved in Nigeria.

My reasoning is this; our military would be encumbered by rules of engagement.They’d have journalists, and cinematographers and cameras of all types up their asses.  I’d suggest sending in Blackwater or another Mercenary group instead. 

No reporters, no photographers, no movie crews, and nobody is going to say anything about what’s done to boko haram.  The civilized world will look the other way. So any of those crazy mercs that need to get their freak on… This is the time and place to go let their killer instincts run wild.

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Give them the simple requirement. “Get the children back.” Pay them handsomely and if they happen to run across assets of Boko Haram like gold, or bank accounts, well, nobody needs to know about it do they?

The West would be be doing the peaceful followers of Islam a favor by wiping this aberrant group off the planet.

Then everyone could get to know Islam as the peaceful and gentle religion it is. 

Crucifixions In Syria

There’s the village in Syria where the people still spoke Aramaic.

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A village of christians who were terrorized by an Islamic para military group with the threat of crucifixion if they didn’t convert to Islam. Those who maintained their faith in Christ were in fact crucified.  

CAIR would say; “Silly rabbit, that old Convert or Die belief isn’t something Islam takes seriously anymore. This was obviously a group of deranged fundamentalists.”

Rape Victim to be caned

The woman was GANG RAPED. The rapists thought she was having an affair. They Raped her to punish her and then when the justice system of her country found out she’d been raped, Allah’s infinite mercy was to cane her for being a victim.

CAIR would say; “The woman must have done something requiring the punishment of gang rape.”

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Facebook insult to Muhammed, CITY on lockdown.

Yesterday, Bangladesh had trouble because someone insulted Muhammad on facebook. Apparently a muslim mob took to the streets pillaging and generally terrorizing everyone else.

CAIR would say; “ ?????”

We won’t even talk about what most islamic countries do to gay people!

At the risk of CAIR calling me names…

This isn’t aberrant groups within the fabric of the religion. The IS the fabric of the religion. As proof I submit to you that these atrocities are happening worldwide, on a daily basis. The only common element is that the people are followers of Islam.

These aren’t independent fundamentalist terror cells. These are average people with a threshold for violence that’s set so low if they can’t find an enemy to kill, they’ll apparently kill each other at random for the slightest reason.

This behavior begs the question for me, what exactly are these people hearing from the Imams in the Mosques?

The only answer that fits behavior is something like “everyone hates you, they would deny you your religion, everyone else is evil and would eat your children, they’re coming to get you, when they do these evil people will rape you, your wife, your children, and then they’ll burn your home to the ground.” Hell after hearing a message like that all my life I’d be pissed off and ready to kill too!

(Wait, I do hear a message similar to that in this country. Only here it’s being said about conservatives and the Republican party on every news cast and Presidential press conference!) Another commentary for another time.

It’s been said, “Repeat a lie often enough and it becomes the truth.”

I can no longer buy into the repeated lie that Islam is a peaceful, just, religion. It can’t be, at it’s foundations its a religion based on a “convert or die” philosophy.

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Peaceful religions don’t explode into violence when their prophets are; Drawn, Insulted, or portrayed in a negative light.  

If this behavior were the norm,  Islam wouldn’t be a problem at all. The West would have already nuked the fuck out of Islamic countries for insults to Christ.

Its time for us in the West to stop attempting to delude ourselves. 

This is no religion of peace.

At best, this religion will leave it’s neighbors alone.

At worst, this is a religion that sanctions violence in all its many forms in the name of God.

The question for the West, is how to handle a ticking time bomb now embedded in every city of every nation?