Category: Humor

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I must be getting old

I’ve been going through my computer and deleting stuff, for a variety of reasons.

I’ve come to the conclusion that I need to probably do a complete rebuild of the system. In preparation for this I’ve been evaluating several factors. One of those is how much software on my machine is actually useful to me today.

There was a time when all the applications on my computer had a function and were used often. Those days are past. So I’ve been purging applications and their associated data from my system.

So far so good.

Then I got to thinking about the fact that Apple’s new silicon runs much more efficiently than their previous Intel based computers. It’s likely that Apple will discontinue OS support for Intel systems within the next few years. That’s not Apple being bad guys, it’s just a matter of consolidating their programming & hardware resources.

Apple did this once before, when they transitioned from PowerPC chips to Intel. I’ve been to this rodeo before.

The question this raised is since I’m going to have to do a complete rebuild anyway should I take the opportunity to move to Apple silicon at the same time?

By complete rebuild, I mean a fresh start of the Operating System. The plan calls for reloading only those applications that actually serve my needs today. I’m going to clean out all the saved passwords from the various password keychains. (Those stored in the cloud and those stored locally on my devices.) It means the deletion of all the weird assed websites and caches, and deletion of all the bullshit accounts that every fucking website wants you to create these days. Then starting over.

The goal is to get as close to being a user that’s never had a computer as possible.

It’s a hell of a task. There’s lots of planning and preserving user ids that I still need, while shedding all the crap that’s built up over time. The worst offenders in this regard are the job search sites. They never have a login site that says plainly who the hell they are. This complicates immensely figuring out what to delete and what to save.

Since I’m going to all this trouble in the first place, does it make sense to make the leap to Apple silicon now and then plan to have a computer that is “Future Proof” for at least the next 7 – 10 years?

I like my current computer. I’m one of the few people who liked the much maligned TouchBar. This preference adds a time element to my decision. It just so happens that the last MacBook Pro that has the TouchBar and has the new M1 chip is also available in the size and configuration that I like. That being said, it probably won’t be available next year.

The advantages to a newer machine are better battery life, (almost double my current machine’s). The processing power in Apple Silicon is approximately double. The newer machine supports WiFi 6, which my current machine does not. The newer machine can give me 2 TB of Solid State hard drive space. The current machine didn’t have that option.

The disadvantages are that I lose 2 Thunderbolt ports. I’ll also lose (at least temporarily) the ability to run VMWare Fusion and therefore Windows on my Mac. Yes, I could use Parallels, but I started thinking about how often I actually use Windows these days. (Not once in the past 3 months.)

The loss of ports concerned me. Then I really thought about it, and realized that I rarely have need of 4 Thunderbolt ports. I think the maximum I’ve ever used is 3 of the four ports and that was maybe once.

I’ve got a Thunderbolt dock from CalDigit. It provides all the ports I need if I really need a bunch of accessories connected to the computer. There’s a CD/DVD drive connected to that dock right now that hasn’t been used in almost a year. My monitor uses Thunderbolt directly so even if the dock were to stop working, I’d just plug the computer into the monitor. The monitor even charges my computer when connected directly.

I’ve got several dongles that plug into my current computer but even then, it’s a very rare occasion that I’ve needed more than 2 at any one time. The dongle that gets the most use is an Ethernet port that lets me connect to a network if for some reason WiFi isn’t available.

What Microsoft applications I use, run natively on Apple Silicon. So there wouldn’t be any of the messy Rosetta application conversion that imposes a performance hit. There are a few applications that would use Rosetta but those are used infrequently enough that they represent a negligible impact.

Basically, moving to a new Apple system at this point would have little negative impact on me. All my accessories for the current machine will work the same on a new machine. All the work I’ve done to prepare for a system rebuild will work just as well if I transition, or keep my current machine.

Apple will credit me $400 if I trade in my current machine for a new one. Apple Credit will give me zero interest for a year and 3% cash back to boot. It’s not a huge savings but it’s better than a kick in the pants.

I’ve convinced myself… I ordered the new machine. It should be here in a couple of weeks…

All of above is what went into the decision.

What makes me feel old is that I’m looking at this new machine as possibly a computer that I’ll use until I’m dead. I feel old too because I’m not that interested in the hassle of maintaining or updating a bunch of applications anymore.

I first noticed this phenomena on my phone, I’ve gotten my phone’s application count down to one and a half pages. There are more applications on the phone that will probably be deleted because the benefit they provide isn’t worth the annoyance of finding them, or dealing with making sure the latest version is on the device.

That philosophy spread to my computer, and iPad too. I’m down to 81 applications on my computer. That includes those that Apple provides for free. The number is about the same on my iPad and iPhone. When the new computer arrives, I’m betting that the number will drop to 70 or so, maybe 10 of which I’ll use daily.

My Apple Watch is nearing the end of its usable battery life and rather than drooling over the rumors of the new Apple Watches, I’m thinking about a plain simple (not flashy) watch. My Rolex is still my favorite but I think I’m going to have to lock it in a safe so that I’m not mugged at gunpoint over it.

I’ve been looking at automatic watches in the 300 to 500 dollar range. Oddly, that’s the same price range as a new Apple Watch. If I go the plain watch route, I won’t have to worry about recharging or the $10 per month cellular fee added to my bill every month.

Don’t get me wrong, I like a lot of the Apple Watch features. But if I’m out camping or hiking for more than a day, power becomes an issue. I can turn my phone off to conserve power and have some privacy, but I kinda like to have a watch when I’m out in the wild. I don’t want to have to carry all the paraphernalia required to charge the darn thing. An automatic winding watch will die 2 days after I do. Rather than die after me wearing it for a day.

Sure, I can carry a solar panel, I’ve got one. I can carry a battery pack, I’ve got one of those too. They both fit in my backpack and work really well. But suppose I don’t want the added weight? Traveling by air with them is a pain in the butt. TSA always seems to have a problem with them. “What’s that? Why do you have it? Why do you need it?” You’d think the TSA agents would have seen stuff like this before, alas, apparently not. I keep waiting for TSA to ask me where my papers are.

I suppose that’s making me feel like I’m old too. I’m eschewing the “Trendy, Modern,” stuff for the old tried and true. As I’m getting older, I have less patience or indeed concern about making sure all the little bits of high technology in my life are working.

If something isn’t working, it might not be that important. The importance seems to be directly related to how long it took me to notice something was amiss.

The funny thing is that I don’t stress over a lot of these things when I notice them like I used to. Now it’s kind of, “huh that’s dead. Do I need it right now? Nope, okay I’ll look at it later when I have nothing better to do,” and move on with my day.

That’s the way my Grandfathers looked at their world. If something wasn’t immediately useful, they’d move on. When I was younger I couldn’t figure them out. They’d chide me about my leap to technology. They both thought I was nuts for using ATMs. I kept wondering, how could they not be annoyed that the TV wasn’t working? How come they’d be so calm if a power drill broke and just pick up a hand cranked one?

I thought they were just old and dumb. But now I’m seeing their wisdom, perhaps because I’m acting just like they did.

They’d realized that you only need one coffeecup, one plate, one glass, one spoon, fork, or knife. Especially if you washed ’em when you were finished using them. They’d managed to see what was convenience, and what was necessity. In that realization, they became particular about what they wanted. That led them to frugality, not because they didn’t have money, but because they wanted to un-complicate and un-clutter their lives.

At the time they died, the world was becoming more connected, more complicated, and busier. I’d enjoy taking with either of them about the world today. I’m sure they’d be simultaneously appalled and amused.

They’d both be holding their sides laughing at me tossing useless crap out of my life. They wouldn’t get the computer purging, but they’d be smiling as they watched me picking up bits of dead or broken technology and tossing it into the bin.

They’d probably get a big laugh out of saying, “Welcome to being old and dumb.”

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Apparently Irony is a Misunderstood Concept…

I stumbled across this one today.

University of Northampton have issued a trigger warning for George Orwell’s novel

The Orwell novel in question is none other than 1984

The University says that the trigger warning is necessary because  the book contains ‘explicit material’ which some students may find ‘offensive and upsetting’.

Northampton is ranked 101 out of 121 in UK university rankings. So one could say that it’s among the UK’s remedial institutions of higher learning.

Perhaps that is why Northampton also has warnings for other works, including the Samuel Beckett play Endgame, the graphic novel V For Vendetta by Alan Moore and David Lloyd and Jeanette Winterson’s Sexing The Cherry.

The article linked above goes into more detail.

One has to wonder, is there a point when Irony reaches critical mass? What happens then, do heads explode, or is it simply a more quiet brain aneurism? Can the human brain self lobotomize as a protective measure?

It should be interesting to see where Northampton’s ranking ends up next year. Perhaps they understand that can’t reach the top rankings and are instead racing for the bottom of the barrel.

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It’s the language…

That’s primarily what keeps bringing me back to American Thinker.

Most of the articles are written at an English proficiency level beyond those of Slate, Mother Jones, or often The Atlantic.

This was underscored for me this morning as I read the following piece in American Thinker, “The Top 10 COVID Villains of 2021“

I know, the title alone is enough to put most of my liberal friends and acquaintances off. I ask them, “Where’s your egalitarianism? some of you correctly demanded that I broaden my reading scope. Surely, reading one article will not cause your “Progressive card” to be revoked.” Unless of course you’ve submitted to constant monitoring of your data stream by “The Party”

By no means, do I think the article was written as anything more than a “Fun Piece,” with a bit of a sting… In being a “Fun Piece” the article excels. When was the last time in any main stream press article that you saw words like, consigliere, execrable, harpy, fatuously, cudgel, avuncular,  and brucellosis (Had to look that one up) in one place used correctly?

When was the last time one of those articles mentioned, Jimmy Hoffa, Michael Corleone, Grendel’s mother, Donna Reed, Margaret Hamilton, Oompa Loompas, Machiavelli, Mister Rogers, Dr. Evil, Dr. Strangelove, and Marcus Welby MD, in the same piece?

For the linguistic legerdemain and funny callbacks to cultural icons, the article is worth the 5 minutes to read.

Something else that caught my attention. As I read aloud some of the bits that made me chuckle to the other half, I noticed that the vocabulary was unapologetic. If your vocabulary wasn’t sufficient you wouldn’t be amused by the article. Same goes for your knowledge of cultural references. This piece was written for Americans who spoke American English and have shared American experiences.

Then while pondering this. It occurred to me that many of the other articles in mainstream publications are written very simply. They often have typos which are artifacts of either someone who speaks English as a second language, or the author is using some kind of transcription software, rather than actually physically typing their article manually.

I have used similar transcription software but find that it is often more trouble than it is worth. I spend far more time editing the results than I would’ve done just typing what I had to say in the first place. It’s also far easier to miss errors if you’re editing a large block of transcribed text.

This lead me to ponder when the next major evolution of the English language would happen. For the moment people seem to have contented themselves with rendering all pronouns utterly useless. I will not be surprised to discover that, “To, Two, Too, Their, There, They’re, & Your, You’re,” are next on the agenda to be eliminated. I’m sure those offensive words will be followed shortly by homonyms.

The obvious justification for these words elimination from our lexicon will be that they are racist. Clearly these words are a plot by white supremacy to confuse the language, making it harder for BIPOC folks to score well on English Exams. That will be the selling point.

The reality is much more mundane. The transcription software can’t differentiate which of the words is meant. Rather than tell “Journalists” or journalism majors, that they have to type instead of dictate, it’s more in line with equity to remove the words entirely.

Et Voilà, suddenly, there will be another tell tale by which White Supremacy can be detected. If a writer or speaker, has a broad vocabulary they must by definition be part of the patriarchal white supremacist group.

The above argument is stupid on its face. However I’ll not be surprised by some variation of this stupidity being touted as truth and justice, or CRT.

I keep coming back to American Thinker because the articles are more often than not well thought out, and they use English. I love reading English that isn’t dumbed down, homogenized, and written on par with a Dick and Jane book. I enjoy reading something where the words used, have the meaning intended.

Any article will quickly lose my interest if there are multiple examples of the incorrect word being used in the piece.

I’m reading the article because it had something in the title that caught my attention, if I’m having to guess at the intended meaning of paragraphs or sentences then I conclude that the author doesn’t know what they’re talking about and is quite probably wrong. Therefore there is no need to waste further time on a piece.

There was a recent article (within the past year) in a mainstream publication where the author asserted that our planet orbited our star in the center of our galaxy, which in turn orbited an almost infinite solar system that contained at its center, a massive black hole. This was repeated several times in the article and clearly demonstrated a very flawed understanding of at best, the terms Galaxy and Solar System. At worst, astronomy in general. I’ll leave it to the reader to pick apart how horribly wrong the author’s statements were.

Where are the fact checkers for that kind of misinformation? It’s pretty easy stuff to look up!

I’m also bored very quickly if an article in a publication requires me to have the Urban Dictionary open in the background so that I may decode the bastardization of common words.

I remember when Urban Dictionary was a satire site, you went there during lunch to amuse yourself while eating at your desk. Now it’s almost an indispensable reference, especially if I happen to read a Rolling Stone article.

I’d prefer to think this is not a function of me getting older. However there is only so far my powers of denial will go.

If you’d like to read opinion pieces more complex than Dick and Jane, but not as heavy as War and Peace give American Thinker a go. As I discover additional media that doesn’t require a lobotomy or drug induced haze to read, I’ll pass them along.