Wow! Jesse just had a temper tantrum…

The likes of which I haven’t seen since my sister’s wedding day.

He is much younger than the shelter said he was. Etta, my Australian Cattle Dog on her worst day didn’t hold a candle to what I just saw.

Etta ruled this house with an iron paw and had just gotten past her teenage fits of temper when I lost her to the fire in 2008. No, she didn’t burn, she died of smoke inhalation when she ran into an area of the house that we couldn’t get to.

I loved her dearly and am convinced that she, and the rest of the pack picked Jesse for me. I needed Jesse and I think he needs me.

Right at the moment he’s lying at the far end of the house playing the, “If I cant see you, and you can’t see me, you can’t be mad at me.” game. He doesn’t know me very well, does he?

I’m miffed at him, but not as mad as he thinks I am.

We were on a walk and he was being very unruly. Turns out he had seen a St Bernard and wanted to go play. The St. Bernard is name Sven and is very sweet and patient. They’ve met before and Jesse knows him.

The difference this time is that Jesse wasn’t going to take no for an answer. Thank goodness for the training collar. Sven’s owner is a nice guy, and knows that Jesse can’t hurt Sven so he’s amicable to the two of them playing. Jesse got really spun up just waiting for Sven. By the time they caught up with us Jesse was completely out of his mind.

He was jumping, howling, whining, barking, spinning, and not listening to any command. The moment that Sven was nearby Jesse started play attacking, then attempting to hump Sven.

To his credit Sven put Jesse in his place very nicely multiple times but Jesse wasn’t getting it. Sven’s owner, Ron let Sven off the leash and Sven trotted off returning at Ron’s command and obeying other commands as well.

Jesse was howling and whining louder and when he realized we were heading home. Then he pulled the ultimate dog temper move (Short of taking someone’s arm off.) he just laid down and refused to get up.

I let him lay there. I just waited for him to loose his fixation, counting instead on his complete inability to stay still for long. It was a test of will. He kept looking at me then looking away. I was still as a statue and silent. I was just looking through him as though he wasn’t there. He tried to stare me down and failed. Eventually he couldn’t stand it anymore and got up. He walked slowly toward me eyes down. Then we returned home. I didn’t speak to him, I didn’t give him his usual treat, I completely ignored him and am still doing so.

I’ve checked on him a couple of times he’s looking out the sliding door. Occasionally he’s dozing. I haven’t decided when I’m going to let him off the hook. (Probably not more than an hour.)

The wind is out of his sails, but he needs to know there is forgiveness eventually.

Right now, he’s in the dog house.

He’s been a VERY BAD DOG!

24 Hour Fitness and I have divorced

Just got the final dissolution papers (in Email) today.

Eh, we had a good run. After pondering the question and visiting a couple of open gyms I decided that without the magic of the big giant eye off the 405 I just wasn’t that into them anymore.

The mega gym that I’d spent so many hours in was “home” and all the other gyms in the 24 hour chain paled by comparison. The local gyms in the chain are simply not that impressive and the clientele is less so.

There was a reason that I liked the more expensive gym, and that reason was that cost limited the clients to people that had some respect for others and typically left the place pretty clean.

The local gyms I visited were, shall we say… shitholes. That is of course when they were open. One actually made me glad I needed to wear a mask, if only I’d had some bleach to spray inside the mask, when I went in.

Should I need the services of a gym, I’ll find one. Until that time, I’ll work around the house and take walks. At least those things, I can do without a mask and without wondering what kind of fungus or other disease I’m being exposed to.

Another tie to my California Life cut. It’s been interesting to discover the threads that bind me to this place and more so how few there are left.

It’s a weird time of year…

Last week it was in the 40s. Then suddenly the temp dropped a lot. It’s 26°F right now. I’ve cleared the decks and drive way as best I could. I cleared them yesterday and then it started sleeting which froze to the driveway and cleared decks.

So there’s this thin pebbled surface of ice under the light dusting of beadlike snow. Once you clear the beads you can’t go further. The best you can hope for is strong sunlight and maybe the temp getting to 35°F in hopes that the stuff melts otherwise it will become a super slick surface.

The apple tree hadn’t finished ripening the apples yet and now I fear they’re frozen. I suppose apple sauce is in my future.

There’s a couple of humming birds still in residence and I’m in a quandary about refilling the feeder or taking it down for the season. The humming birds are also giving me a look about the feeder being frozen. Sorry guys… not much I can do about it right now. If I refill it, It will probably freeze again.

Later in the week, it’s supposed to be nearly 50°F and the long range forecast suggests that it will be that way until Thanksgiving.

This transition time is always interesting to navigate.

There’d been something nagging at the back of my mind…

The ExpanseIt was one of those little things, a thought not quite remembered. But it was somehow important, something that could potentially help me, if I could only remember it.

It’s been bugging me for weeks.  Not that I thought it was the end all be all, but something that could help me surf these all too strange waters we find ourselves in.

It was philosophical, intriguing, and dead on.

Not only could I not remember the thought, I couldn’t remember its source. That meant I had no starting point until I remembered something the Marines call “The Suck”

Once I had that starting point I kept pulling threads until I found what I was looking for.

Don’t get me wrong, The Marines are 100% right about The Suck, we’re clearly in some serious suck. Thank God for The Marines. They have a way of expressing things that is awesome.

What I was looking for was something else that was more apt to our current circumstances and the way I was feeling in particular.

I finally found what I’d been trying to remember.

It’s from “The Expanse”

One of the characters is having a conversation with a spy. The spy is kind of slippery but he’s never encountered up close and personal someone like Amos.

The exchange is as follows:

Kenzo: It must be nice, having everything figured out like that.

Amos: Ain’t nothing to do with me: we’re just caught in the Churn, that’s all.

Kenzo: I have no idea what you just said.

Amos: This boss I used to work for in Baltimore, he called it the Churn. When the rules of the game change.

Kenzo: What game?

Amos: The only game. Survival. When the jungle tears itself down and builds itself into something new. Guys like you and me, we end up dead. Doesn’t really mean anything. Or, if we happen to live through it, well that doesn’t mean anything either.

We’re in The Churn.

Amos Bearded The ExpanseThe rules are changing, it’s beyond our control. The only option is to survive… or not. Either way it doesn’t mean anything, except to us as individuals.

Individually we may be lucky or not, but in the grand scheme of things, our presence really doesn’t matter.

The best we can do is surf the churn, allowing our survival instincts to dictate our choices.

The thing is, nothing will ever be the same again because our jungle is tearing itself apart. We can’t predict what the new configuration will be. We’ll only know when it’s done.

I’m pretty rule based. I can exist, even happily, in chaos but only by recognizing that I’m in a chaotic situation. I’ve been laboring under the assumption that the chaos we’ve been in was transient and things would return to normal next month, the month after, maybe the one after.

But that is a lie. It’s a lie we’re being told to keep us complacent and prevent us from fully engaging in The Churn. The effect is that all of us are attempting to live in some shared delusion that this will all come to an end and our lives will be returned to us, based on some external force.

If in fact there is a “New Normal”, a new jungle, then we all have to go all in. We need to stop nibbling on the barrel and accept it. If that means rejecting all the laws that have previously bound us, so be it.

We’ve all pretty much come to the conclusion that COVID while real, isn’t the killer, set your hair on fire and run in tight circles, that we’ve been told it is. But still people are obeying arbitrary and capricious laws, & made up regulations.

We’ve all seen live, that rioting is becoming more common over the slightest of perceived infractions. As the police departments are defunded they will be less and less able to provide the protections that they were established to provide. Leaving average people to fend for themselves.

While at the same time witnessing harassment of average people on the streets just trying to go about their lives. We’ve seen that protecting ourselves results in imprisonment while our politicians are telling us that they’re releasing career criminals due to concerns over COVID.

Rampant and obvious corruption is visible and yet the talking heads charged with providing timely and accurate information, are doing their absolute best to look the other way.

We know that at least one candidate to our highest office is unfit for the job and clearly ill. We’re living in a barely suppressed anarchy. Regardless of a vaccine, regardless of the election, regardless of changes to the police forces. This will not stop. We’ll never get to the old normal again. The only reason the anarchy is suppressed at all is because we’re all waiting for something to magically fix it.

Waiting for magic, is waiting for a train that ain’t coming.

We must recognize that the only way through this is full speed ahead and embrace the Anarchy. Someone screws with you while you’re minding your own business, punch their lights out, or punch their ticket to where ever they’re bound for. For good measure rob ‘em. It doesn’t matter anymore. Who’re they gonna call? You were strong enough to take their shit, it’s yours. If they die well they aren’t going to be needing it anyway.

We’re all predators, the only reason we don’t kill each other more regularly is because we’re generally law abiding and mostly polite. That doesn’t seem to be working for us anymore.

In The Churn it’s better to be the top predator than prey. That’s the law of the jungle and apparently it’s the current law in places like Chicago, Seattle, Portland, LA, Minneapolis, New York, and Pittsburgh, these days.

If the whole country is gonna be like these cities then fine. I may not make it, but I’m not going alone. Simultaneously, don’t expect to arrest me for doing what every other predator is doing.

It’s time to embrace it, time to let all that rage and predatory instinct out. Time to decide what do we really want. I’d be happy with law and order.

But I will not accept that I have to obey laws that are stupid or pointless while others are immune to those same laws.

If it’s to be no law, okay then, let’s all go back to the jungle en mass. When the blood and destruction reaches some critical point…

Then I’d imagine a new jungle will have been created, and the survivors will beg for law, order, and justice again.

Some days I’m just too dark.

mockingtodo20201014.pngThere it is, the “Perky” reminder in my ToDo list saying that I should write something at least in my blog.

It’s overdue too.

Go on you little bastard, mock me!

I’ve tried a couple of different tangents. Trouble is, every time I try to put something on paper it takes a path leading straight to the bowels of hell.

I suppose I’m sick of everything! Although the salacious pictures of Hunter Biden do pique my interest. I’m curious about that 12 minute video… 

By nature, I’m a voyeur so my prurient interest shouldn’t be surprising to anyone.  

Way back in the day I was entirely fascinated by a grainy poor quality video of a 3 way staring a young actor (now famous) that made the rounds on videotape. Even today, the only porn that I can not look away from is of the home grown amateur variety. Much of today’s stylish, scripted, professional porn has become “ho hum” and unfortunately predictable. But the lighting is always awesome!

Along those same lines I’m curious to know what Hunter’s email, video, and pictorial evidence will do to his father’s election chances. 

Oddly enough, I don’t think it will matter one bit.

Joe Biden is under investigation in the Ukraine, has been accused of sexual harassment by Tara Reed, has been caught in at least three other lies where what he claimed was not in fact what was recorded in the public record, and now if the emails found on this computer hard drive are proven to be real he’ll be literally at the center of another scandal.

It won’t matter. He’ll never be subpoenaed, he’ll never be brought to trial, he’ll never answer for any of it.

Hence the blog takes dark turn. Any Republican politician would have already issued the requisite humble apology and been forced to resign. Captains of industry have been destroyed for less. We have police chiefs forced to resign for something their wife tweeted.

Against this backdrop of cancel culture and outrage how can Joe Biden still be a viable candidate? What happened to equality?

If specific targets (Conservatives) can be “Canceled” for these offenses, then everyone can and should be “Canceled” for similar offenses.

There is the crux of it for me. Patent, (dare I say systemic,) inequality. 

Either we are all bound by the same standards, rules, and laws, or none of us are.

If none of us are bound by these things, then why am I wearing a mask in public, not shopping in person, obeying stay at home orders, not looting, or any of the rest of it.

We already have anarchy. I should be out enjoying myself!

See, that’s why you’ll see me skip a few days blogging. It’s actually for your protection…

We’re all in this together!