Category: General

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Sometimes… Thre are places that are just bad JuJu!

One of those places for me is the Wrightwood Market in my little town.

For the 35 years I’ve lived here. Every single time I’ve tried to do business with this place it’s been a cluster fuck.

Every time I’ve gone there for gas, they’ve been out.

Every time I dropped in for smokes (when I smoked) they were out of my brand.

Every time I’ve stopped in for literally anything they’ve been out or their card readers were down or their cash register was broken.

This trend continued right to today.

I needed 2 gallons of gas. We’ve got some snow coming in, I needed to fill the gas can so that I’d be able to run the snow blower. It’s a simple thing … but an impossible task.

Pulling out of my driveway, I thought, “Drive down the hill, or buy the fuel in town.” A message popped up on my phone saying that it would be raining within the hour so I decided to try the Wrightwood Market.

There was a truck, a jeep from Texas, and me, In one lane. A van and a small car in the other gas lane. The truck was filling his tank, probably a double tank, it was taking a while. No big deal… I could wait.

Suddenly the Texas asshole slams it in reverse and starts backing up. I hit the horn, then put my car in reverse. There’s damn little maneuvering room in their parking lot and for me to back up meant I’d have to back out into traffic.

The Jeep stops.

Then some bitch from the market comes out and tells me that I need to back up so the jeep can leave. I told her my problem was that the jeep started backing up without looking and that was why I’d laid on the fucking horn.

Why was she treating me like I was the bad guy? I’ve actually had a dumbass back up onto a car I was driving. I sure as hell wasn’t going to have it happen again.

It was at this moment that I snapped. 

I’m fucking tired of having to accommodate everyone else. I’m tired of impatient  dumbasses.

I decided, “fuck it”, I’ve not spent money with these people for 35 years why should I break a streak. Then I started to work my way out of the lot only to have another moron pull in as though to park, then stop. 

Blocking me and everyone else in the fucking drive.

I motioned for the new dumb fucker to pick a damn direction. Once he moved out of the way, I drove down the hill to get gas, as I should have done in the first fucking place.

So It cost me 2 gallons of gas, to get two gallons of gas and 45 minutes in time when it should have taken 10 minutes. 

It occurred to me, I like my house, I like my view, I like my yard. I don’t really like the difficulties of living here.

It’s tough to get any kind of work done, septic, painting, repairs, whatever, it’s always a pain in the ass. Add the issues with getting mail, the fact that depending on which map is used, this part of the town exists in no less than three other towns, each 15 miles or more distant. That the street I live on is, in an indeterminant state. The county says it’s private when they don’t want to maintain or repair the damage they’ve done, but happily exert their easement rights and drive heavy equipment over it all the damn time.

And well, it’s tipping the balance and making the thought of leaving the house, the memories and the town not such a bad idea.

Better to leave while I have good memories of this place and the time I spent here than have those memories destroyed.

The area is changing, the neighborhood is changing, the town is changing, and honestly not for the good. Hesperia, a local town has the worst driving in all of California.

Moving here was a respite from what was happening to California. It’s taken 30 years for my little town to catch up with the rest of California, but here we are.

When I moved here, part of it was about my other half being here and happy. Coming here also was like me returning to the Midwest. But I was still able to commute to my job in LA or Orange County.

Commuting isn’t possible anymore due to traffic volume and poor planning.

The problems of California are here. I feel like I did just before I met Jerry. I was heading out, my plan was to go back to a place where the rules made sense. 

Perhaps it’s just time to go.

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This was weird…

I watched the actual swearing in of Trump yesterday.

I loved the Marines walking JD Vances children in. I’ve always been a sucker for Dress Blues.

What was weird is this. I got emotional about it. I’m quick to anger to be sure. But not quick to tears. 

While watching the inauguration I had this weird juxtaposition of time. Trump should have been The President in 2020. For just a moment, I thought I was back in 2020 waking from a nightmare. I expected Jerry to be alive and that I’d tell him of this crazy assed dream. Then we’d laugh at my silliness and all would be well.

But Jerry is still dead. I’m still alone. Things are still much more expensive than they were, injustices still happened, and two tier justice is still the norm. The “Nightmare” was real.

I cried.

Perhaps from relief that Biden wouldn’t be fucking things up worse. Perhaps because It wasn’t a dream and that hit like a ton of bricks. Perhaps it was just the last of my grief leaving, and me looking forward to opportunities the new administration may provide.

I lay a lot of my sadness, angst, and loss at the Biden administrations feet.

Jerry’s life might have been prolonged if he hadn’t had to navigate COVID protocols and repeated cancellations or rescheduling of appointments with his cardiologist.

Eventually, he stopped trying because every appointment was canceled due to someone testing positive for COVID in that office. Which meant they’d shut the place down for a week or two.

Jerry wasn’t alone, a lot of people were denied care for the same reasons. He gave up on his doctor in October of 2022 and was trying to find a new cardiologist but ran into the same BS when scheduling appointments. 

Biden and his shitty administration aren’t directly responsible or that.

They are directly responsible for increasing the stress & fear, and censoring information about COVID that might have brought the pandemic panic to a close sooner.

None of them will ever be held to account.

I can only hope that things get better for this country as fast as they went into the shitter with Biden’s executive orders in the first 100 days.

Somehow, I doubt it. 

It takes a lot more energy to create that to destroy.

On the plus side, the stock market was hopping yesterday. That’s maybe a positive sign.

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I made it through another anniversary

Two years ago last night, Jerry died. So did a big piece of my heart. Oh, he was a pain in my ass, I suppose I was a pain in his as well. I guess that’s part of relationships. We loved each other and I miss him.

I was a little emotional through the day. I walked the dog, finished de-christmassing the house, made dinner, poured myself a drink and listened to music. I went to bed about the normal time and slept soundly. I do remember some fragments of dreams but nothing coherent.

I didn’t drink to excess. I woke up more or less in a decent mood. 

I haven’t gotten anything much done today. I played on X too damn much. I’m willing to forgive myself for that.

I need to settle down, and to apply for a bunch of jobs. I doubt that I’ll get much if any response. But I feel like I have to try.

As I said, the Christmas tree and associated decorations are all put away. I was able to dispose of a box through consolidation. Going through the decorations was bittersweet.

I have sweet memories of the Christmases Jerry & I spent together.

Each ornament is special and since many of them were saved from the house fire in 2008 there is a greater significance to each.

The house is clean, (except the office,) the amount of stuff remaining to be tossed feels never-ending but I know I’m making progress.

The living, dining, kitchen, and master bedroom are less cluttered. They could all use more de-cluttering but these areas are lighter and more airy. I like it this way.

There is still much to do, and much to get rid of, but where I’m at and the direction I’m moving feels right and good.

The point is, this year while a bit rocky was better than last year. I’m better now and while I still miss him, it’s not the kind of pain it was. I’m stronger and somewhat optimistic.

Perhaps I’m trending toward happy?

 

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They shoot looters don’t they?

Los angeles fire.LA officials seem shocked and dismayed that looting is happening in evacuation zones.

Really? These folks allowed essentially lawlessness for the past, what… 6-8 years, now they’re shocked that it’s become “Normal”?

Listening to the LA Officials, I’m angry that they’re not addressing making policy & procedural changes to make sure something like this never happens again.

Chief Luna is the only one who seems to be making sense. He’s arresting looters.

Personally, I think looters should just be shot. Save everyone the time and trouble of trials and all that crap. Plus it provides a great object lesson about leaving other people’s shit alone.

On the news this morning KTLA interviewed a  lady who said she witnessed amidst her evacuating her family, folks were driving up in cars, then running up to neighbors doors. She thought they were helping people evacuate. Turns out it was looters taking advantage of the chaos to steal shit.

Animals!

There’s not enough punishment for that kind of behavior. 

I suppose the looters could be staked out on the lawns of the homes they were looting. You know, let the fire gods decide their guilt or innocence.

That’s why there are some people who will not evacuate their homes when asked to do so. They’re afraid that they’ll come home to the place being ransacked and robbed with zero leads or hope of getting their stuff back.

That puts firefighters and police in danger protecting people who remain in harms way.

I guess that’s why I’m kind of a zero tolerance policy guy on the matter of looting.

Even here, when the whole town was evacuated, there were looters who got arrested. This town is maybe 4000 people. Most of whom are middle class, (or were before Biden took office,) we don’t have tons of nice stuff. Yet we had looters trying to steal what we did have.

I suppose I get really angry about looting because it’s like the looters are kicking people when they’re down. It’s not fair, and cruel when you think about it.

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Fire & Ice

I woke up to 6” of unexpected snow yesterday morning. I’d been worrying about the wind and red flag fire warnings.

My day was consumed with snow removal and I’ve been taking down Christmas decorations. 

I’m taking this opportunity to repack and consolidate the decorations into fewer boxes and a bit better organization. I’m aiming for certain types of decorations and supplies being in clearly marked boxes. You know, Hallmark battery powered ornaments in one box. Keepsake ornaments in another box. Replacement lights, power cords, and those kinds of accessories in another box. Organization makes decoration a lot easier and pleasurable.

By the end of day yesterday, the Palisades fire erupted. Followed by additional wildfires across LA County.

Santa Ana winds are whipping through the canyons with hurricane gusts. That means that embers are flying and the potential for spot fires is very high.

For the time being, the winds are blowing mostly offshore, which means that the wind is blowing the fires away from me and the abundant fuel in the foothills and forests.

Where I am, the winds are very calm just breezes really.

On the other side of the mountain that is not the case. I’m watching the fires in Altadena and Sylmar very carefully. If the wind were to shift, and that fire started burning to the North, What happened with the Bridge fire could happen again only worse this time.

The Altadena fire is burning near where the Bridge fire began in Sept. For a time in Sept, I thought our whole little town was going to be wiped out.

The Calfire people were amazing and the town was saved with only a few buildings lost.

Santa Ana winds are whipping through the canyons with hurricane gusts. That means that embers are flying and the potential for spot fires is very high.

Aircraft are grounded due to the winds.

I’m betting that the property losses are going to be astronomical.

I feel so sorry for people who’ve lost their homes. I know what that feels like.