Category: General

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Wow! Time Flies

A friend pointed out that I written anything for a week.

I honestly don’t know where the time went.

I was doing things,  working out, reading, searching for a job, etc. The days have kind of run together, this may be a bad sign.

Monday of this week all the phones and internet into town were taken offline by some Edison workers who forgot to check where they were planning to do some digging. They took out 20 T-1 and 5 T-3 lines as well as the phones and cell service when they cut through a fiber optic cable.

I was curious about what was going on. I still had cell service but then I have an unobstructed view of the desert so I think I was hitting a cell tower out there. I’d reported a problem to Verizon, then turned on the ham radio.

Interesting to follow the local Citizen Emergency Response Team. I really hadn’t thought of the situation as an emergency but as I listened to the CERT Folks I realized that 911 was also down and that there are a lot of shut-ins here in town. Without Phones, and 911 they could easily have a problem and not be able to reach anyone. The CERT folks have a plan. As I listened it sounded like there were a few bumps in the road but they all handled the situation really well. Depending on the job front and the time constraints imposed by the inevitable commute I may get involved with these folks.

Of course if my job path takes me out of the state I can always join a similar group where I end up.

My Brother is arriving today. I’m looking forward to spending some time with him. I have no great plans but perhaps we’ll head out randomly and see what trouble we can get into.

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Political Shopping around

I’m just not getting over it. I’m truly disgusted with the Republican party, I’ve always been able to find some common ground and feel that in general they represented me. Over the past 10 years or so I’ve found myself far less represented.

The Florida Presidential debate served one purpose. It catalyzed my dis-satisfaction with the GOP.

For the first time in 30 years I’m shopping around for a new political party. I never actually “Shopped” before.

I registered to vote one day at a mall with my Mom. At the time I think I wanted to register as an Independent but then my Mom pointed out that as an Independent I wouldn’t be able to vote in presidential primaries. That made no sense to me, I also couldn’t see why anyone would register with a party that limited their voting ability.

I asked Mom what party Dad was. She said Republican and so I registered as a Republican. It was as simple as that. As things turned out, it was a choice that I was comfortable with until now.

As I’ve been shopping around I’ve been reading about the various parties by visiting their web sites.

While I feel I have little in common with the Democratic party I still checked out their web site. It just confirmed my feelings.  Within the first couple of paragraphs in their “About Us” page, they come across demonizing the wealthy. That’s Ironic since the leaders of the democratic party are in fact a damn sight wealthier than me (I’m after all, an evil wealthy Republican). As I read more about the party I really couldn’t get past the fact that it’s leaders today don’t compare to the formidable leadership of the partys past. So no, the democratic party is not for me.

I checked out the Tea Party they’re not  officially a party, but I’ve been accused by certain people of being a tea party sympathizer so I thought I’d check ’em out. Their web site is interesting since they’re pretty equally displeased with both the Democratic and the Republican parties. They point out a Failure in leadership on the part of both parties. This actually mirrors something I’ve been saying for years. But I’m not a Tea Party person… YET!

As I thought about it, I realized that I’d never really paid much attention to the “branding” the Republican party gives itself. When I went to the site I expected to see something about the party history, goals, core values, etc. You know, something to help a new voter decide if the party is for them. That’s not at all what I found. Sadly the party web site appears a bit amateurish and provides no information for a new voter. Instead the site looks more like a fear mongering site. It’s not until you look under the “Issues” section that you find information about the party position. I think I understand why so many friends looked at me like I had two heads when they found out I was a Republican.

I found this Quiz which says I’m a centrist with Libertarian leanings.

I thought “Hey the internet quiz may be right” so I went to the Libertarian party site. This party seems to fit my beliefs better than anything thus far. I have always been about personal responsibility, and minimal government. The question is if I register Libertarian do I give up any voting privileges?

The Green party caught my attention. But while I’m all for eco-responsibility, and grass roots community based politics. I’m still a capitalist pig, which seems a bit incompatible with the greens. However, if they present a candidate that I believe in, I’ll vote for them.

The Independent party… WOW! Not for me! I think my beliefs and these folks are completely at odds. That is the beauty of our system though. Everyone can have a say and be represented by people of like minds.

There are 53 political parties listed as active in the United States (Thank you Wikipedia). Many of these parties I’m not interested in.

I’ve never even heard of a large percentage of them. My thinking is, if I’ve never heard of them then it’s unlikely they will field a candidate either for president or for local offices that I’m interested in.

I was surprised to find a Nazi party and Socialist party active in the U.S. Who’d have thought these parties would exist in 21st century America? Well, political freedom is one of the things that our country was founded on…

At this point, pending further investigation about voting in primaries I think I’m going to be registering as Libertarian.

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Another year almost gone

And what an interesting year it’s been.

Career

Well my career is sort of in the dumper but perhaps this is an opportunity to choose a different path, something that I enjoy more.

Personal

Have made several discoveries about myself.  

I need more friends. I’m actually kinda lonely and am tired of acquaintances that pass through my life all too quickly. 

During the year I’ve begun to come to grips with elements of my personality that I’ve always been uncomfortable with. So from that standpoint I’m in a better head space than I was.

Goals

I need to dedicate more time to my hobbies and things that interest me. Part of that is to make sure that I have the time to dedicate. 

I’ve pissed away too much of my life in Southern California sitting on freeways. It’s really hard to pursue anything in the way of personal enrichment if you’re sitting in traffic. The next job is going to be something that is close to home… OR HOME will be close to the job. If that means being in another city, state, or whatever I think I’m ready for that. It could be said that one reason I’ve got so few friends is because I’m just not available. That’s one of the things that is on the top of the list of things I want to change.  

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Well I woke up this morning…

Time to as Linkin Park says “let it go”

I’ve been a bit depressed over the past few months.  Gee could you tell?

Too many things to deal with and too much chaos and noise in my head.

I’m done with mourning the loss of yet another job. I think this is likely to be the new “Norm” for me and my so called “career”. As such, it really doesn’t fucking matter what I do so long as I make enough money to pay the bills.

Computers and computer stuff is easy. The problem is that I’ve been in a backwater of technology for about 4 “real” years. That loosely translates to 6 or 8 years in the “real” technology world, so there are some things that I’m behind on.

Under normal circumstances this wouldn’t be an issue, in these economic times… well I’m righteously fucked. And not in a good way!

This leaves me trying to piece together something that allows me to make a living from what I know and what I can learn quickly.

I’m still working on a book albeit slowly… I have no idea how much income something like that will generate, on the other hand it shouldn’t be that big a deal to handle publishing and distribution as an purely electronic affair. However, that’s in the longer term.

In the near term what?

After a conversation with a friend, I’m thinking I’d be better off checking into something computer related even if it’s only a contract position and not likely to last very long.

I used to think I was going to have a real career, and that I’d retire someday with a nice 401K and have time to travel and enjoy myself. The new reality is that I’ll be lucky if I’m not pushing a shopping cart and eating cat food.

I’m just going to accept that. There will be no corporate pension, no long term job, little if any security, and that’s just the way it is.

Since virtually all large companies now are centralized in their control, even if I had a fancy title like CTO I’d still have to ask permission to do my job from some other asshole. Either on another continent or in another city who has no fucking clue about what is actually happening at the site I’m responsible for. So I have no desire to enter into the management track for most companies. Why bother? Tons of responsibility, and NO AUTHORITY to act on those responsibilities.

Been there, Done that got the t-shirt and I’m not interested in repeating it. Unfortunately, the middle management or even upper management tracks are what you’re supposed to be screwing over your coworkers for.

Someone like me that knows the way those positions work is perceived as “Not a good worker or not ambitious” regardless of the quality of work they consistently turn out. After all if you’re not bending someone over a desk and ramming your cock hard, fast, and dry, up the poor bastards ass in a bid for promotion… you’re not working!

I’m so done with that philosophy. Taking short contracts, can fund explorations into careers that I might actually enjoy for the remainder of my working life.

So what are those careers or potential careers?

I’m continuously drawn to the hobbies that I think I like…

Why the uncertainty?

Well I really enjoy SCUBA. I’ve been diving in Hawaii, Florida, and Bonaire. I enjoyed everything about diving in those places.  Do I enjoy it enough to do it for a living? Would I like being a Dive Master or an Instructor? That, I don’t know. It bears investigation and I’m fortunate to have an acquaintance who I might be able to work something out with.

I also enjoy Photography and have been told I’ve got some skill at that. On the other hand, Several of the online stock photo sites HATED and rejected all of the 25 or so photos that everyone else absolutely loved. The other stock photo sites I’ve checked into have such restrictive licensing rules that if I submitted photos to them… I’d never be able to even give a photo away. I don’t want to lock myself in that way.

I need to add a significant amount of work to my rather small portfolio. That takes time and a bit of money.

Either of these options could be funded by contracts.

So It’s time to get off my ass, get over the feeling of failure and make sure that everything I do from here on out is with a view to my “retirement” career.

Stay tuned…

It should be an interesting ride.

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The EDD Saga…

I started writing this yesterday, but I was way too worked up to be able to complete it.

The State of California denied my claim for a 2 week period. They were apparently really pissed off that I didn’t mail my claim on time.

This is typical of how California works.

Since I’m part of the group that has been working, contributing, paying my outrageously high taxes, and the outrageous car licensing fees I’m penalized because…

I told the truth!

I misplaced the freaking form. 

The EDD never answers their 800 number so I couldn’t even report that I’d misplaced the form or ask for a new one.

In retrospect I should have LIED my ass off. But I’m not wired that way. I don’t think to lie first. Well I guess when dealing with the State I need to get into the habit!

OK fine… California is upset… I was a horrible, rotten, fuckwad and deserve to be punished. And they want their pound of flesh. Whatever…

The real problem is this.

Their letter is ambiguous. It tells me I have the right to appeal their denial. OK! Whatever you mother fucking EDD assholes say!

But due to it’s ambiguity the letter could be interpreted to mean that now all future claims will be denied too.

UHHHH WHAT????!

Now I’m freaking out and PISSED off as all HELL!

See, I have a real problem with “official” documents that are ambiguous. I feel that any documentation should be simple and to the point. The reader should never have to wonder what was meant, what was intended, or if the information applies to them.

The fact that the EDD letter was subject to interpretation left me frustrated.

Am I screwed completely or just a little? What should I do now? How do I resolve this?

Add the fact you can’t get these assholes to answer their phones and… well the walls close in!

Suddenly I felt completely overwhelmed and that I had no recourse or clear instructions to follow. That leads to a deep anger that my brother and I call berserker rage.

This “berserker” probably worked very well in battles of old. It must have worked great when disputes were settled by the swing of a broadsword or a battle ax. Even as the weapons changed it still helped, it gives us unbelievable focus in a fight.

The kind of focus I’m talking about is physical in nature. It’s hunter / predatory  mostly visual and eye hand coordination.

The few physical altercations I’ve been in during my life I didn’t start… I can say with certainty that the    berserker element of my personality finished them. I was the one standing when it was over and people were usually more than a bit shocked at the outcome.

In this bureaucratic world there is no clear enemy. Without a target, the berserker is not particularly useful. In a world of bureaucrats, paper, rules, “not my job” attitudes, where with a keystroke your life can suddenly be made miserable, there is little use for the berserker.

Now, a survival adaptation thats served well for centuries has become a liability. Without a target, the rage that fuels a berserker has no place to go. With no outlet, the rage turns inward and prevents you from thinking calmly and rationally.

It’s a problem that I’m working on. I don’t want to lose the berserker, I just need to keep it reined in when dealing with bureaucrats.

Yesterday, I dropped the reins. As I’m pacing and yelling,

In steps my better half… Quoting Arthur Dent, “I’m English… I know how to queue.” (I was so proud…)

I responded… “I’m German… we invade and impose order.”

6 or 7 phone calls later…. all of them to local field offices instead of the useless 800 number California prints on all their documentation, and we have an answer.

My better half had to tease little bits of information out of these offices. Nothing useful was volunteered and it really was a matter of asking the right questions.

It turns out, I’m only losing the payment for the period in question. I’m supposed to be receiving some additional claim forms which should catch me up.

Why couldn’t that have been clearly written in their letter? Better yet how about including the forms WITH the letter? Then even though the letter itself was ambiguous I’d have been able to figure out what they meant.

During the phone calls we discovered that there are other options to report continued claims. Really?

Apparently, one can phone a claim in, or even use the internet. Both bits of information might have been nice to have. It would have prevented my ever ending up in this position in the first place.

It turns out the EDD website operates differently if you access it using a Mac vs. Windows. The difference is subtle and deadly.

If you use Windows, menu items are visible that are not visible when using a Mac. These menus link you to things like how to set up phone continued claims, how to set up internet continued claims, make information requests, you know… Minor details!

So the major crisis is, for the moment put to bed. The adrenaline rush from being so pissed off and a small sinus problem left me exhausted.

As I was intermittently napping on the couch I was thinking about how California Unemployment Insurance treats the folks that are collecting like we’re on the clock or something.

Folks… IT’S INSURANCE!

That means I’m making a claim, if the claim is valid (i.e. I’m unemployed) then pay me the money I’m due just like any other insurance policy. I don’t see why California sees fit to punish what are effectively it’s customers.

What I can say is this…

I’m angry. I plan to take my FULL measure of payments and benefits out of California and when I’m done I’ll decide my next move.

I’m thinking it’s time to find a new place to live, a new career, and take my earning potential somewhere else.