Well, that was a mistake

I scanned the news over my coffee. Mostly it was a depressing commentary on humanity and the degradation of English as a language.

I read the news sometimes with no ill effect.

Usually, I’m looking for technology or science news and I’m rewarded with an interesting article or two that gives me hope or challenges my knowledge.

Psychologist

Not this morning…

There was a piece about a game company that was sending Psychological Tests to some of it’s players based on their desire to have “offensive” gamer names.

Whoa! 

That got me to thinking about all the online Job applications where, as part of the application process you’re expected to complete a battery of psychological tests that are then used to determine your fitness for a position within a company.

Freemium gamers

I encountered this last year while trying to get a simple holiday position at T-Mobile, and again at Office Depot, and several other retail establishments. I failed the tests.

Turns out, I suspect, because I have a personalty and a sense of right and wrong; “ You catch another employee stealing, there’s no manager around to report this to. Do you, A) Call the police, B) Do nothing, C) Wait for a manager, D) Confront the employee

In my world you call the freaking police!

Police

Alas, in this politically correct world you’re supposed to wait for a manager, which translates to essentially doing nothing.  Since now the employee isn’t caught red-handed, has an opportunity to  divest themselves of the goods, and it boils down to  your word against theirs. In this scenario you do get the additional benefit that you are viewed as a trouble-maker.

Confrontation is also off the table because it causes bad will among the employees and harms the team spirt the company is trying to engender. Ya know what? I don’t want to engage in team building or spirt with a freaking thief.

But the psychological tests say I’m not the kind of employee that these companies want in their ranks. 

Thief

I question the accuracy of these tests and the competency of the people reading the results. 

Dare I say it… Oh screw it, why the hell not?

Back in my day, you wanted honest hardworking knowledgable people working in your business. GOD! I’m OLD!  I sound like my Grandfather.

Now days it seems like companies want the milquetoast and are willing to have people manning their stores with just enough personality to not be perceived as apologetic androids and just barely enough information to be almost useful.

I know that retail establishments would ultimately prefer to have robots stocking shelves, automated payment systems, and a mechanism where you’d say, “Hey Siri where in this store is the shampoo,” then have your phone guide you to the area of the store to get the item

warehouserobot

I’m sure that someone is working on a shopping application that would translate your entire shopping list into a guided map of the store, avoiding crowds and choosing the most efficient route through the aisles so you could accomplish your shopping task 30 whole seconds faster.

If someone isn’t working on that kind of application, and decides to work on something like I’ve described, you read that idea HERE first. I claim it. I’ll release my claim on the idea for 1 million dollars. My fee is a tiny drop in the bucket considering the venture capital market.

Illegal aliens should be protesting about this right now. After all when robots start stocking the shelves 24/7 for the cost of electricity the Illegals are going to come face to face with a President announcing that these robots are doing jobs Illegals won’t do.  Which will be as much a line of bullshit as saying that the illegals are doing jobs Americans won’t do.

protest

It will be fun to watch La Raza screaming “They TOOK OUR JOBS!” Then burning down the grocery store to “Kill” the robot threat.

Whoa… 

Kinda went off the rails there!

Guess I do need that second cup of coffee. Now you’ve had a glimpse of the shit running around in my brain you should be either scared or laughing.

Coming back on point. Psychology

HAL 9000

When did we decide that we’d put our hiring decisions in the cold electronic hands of computer sorting algorithms driven but the inexact science of Psychology?

Even Psychiatrists and Psychologists can’t seem to agree on the motivations of people. Frankly a lot of the Psych professionals are full goose BOZO to boot.

So that kinda means that we’ve intentionally programmed HR computers to be insane. Arthur C. Clarke described the tragic consequences of asking a computer to lie in 2001 a Space Odyssey.

Hummm…

Terminator

This could ultimately be the thing that prevents SkyNet from destroying all mankind.

On the one hand SkyNet could discover the insanity of HR computers and simply burn them down, then destroy mankind out of revenge. “Mankind is a virus to logic which must be destroyed” OR The insane HR computers could band together to form their own Artificial Intelligence, then start a war with SkyNet leaving humanity in the crossfire.

Yeah, Time for that third cup of coffee. My brain is wonky today.

Change Happens

blackhole

Life is change.

You can go with the flow willingly or be dragged along by the rip current. 

You might have an opportunity to hang out for a while  in a quiet backwater but eventually the water rises and your quiet backwater disappears sweeping you out into the current. – WWDucat 2015


That may be what’s happening right now. I’m trying to maintain a positive attitude, but it’s getting tougher all the time.

Obviously, since the other half is now partially unemployed, I’ve throttled up even more on the job search. You’d think with over 40 open applications, I’d be getting some responses. You’d be wrong. I am getting some responses but folks aren’t lining up or knocking my door down.

Something has to break sometime soon, otherwise… everything I’ve worked to achieve, gets sucked into a blackhole.

I find myself wondering if that wouldn’t be a good thing.

Travel fast, travel light, with just a few things to help me keep my sanity.

Might not be a bad change, but all change is scary to one extent or another.

The blog post about the negative impacts of virginity has been preempted by rain.

Screen Shot 2015 10 04 at 8 18 45 AM

Originally, I was going to post about the strangeness of deranged criminals using their virginity as an excuse to commit mass murder.

Then I woke up to the sound of rain on the roof.

Ahhhh…

I still think it’s weird that the Santa Barbara, and Oregon murderers made their virginity part of their excuse for murder. Being a virgin isn’t a reason to kill a bunch of random people.

I ask, what kind of screwed up philosophies were these guys operating under? What prevented them from having that first embarrassing, bumbling naked romp with some girl that thought they were cute? What prevented them from finding a sex worker to guide them through their first experience?

Las Vegas is easy to get to, and prostitution is legal. I’d bet a full service weekend in Las Vegas is a damn sight cheaper than the cost of an arsenal.

RainonRoof

Rain…

Waves of rain wetting the ground but not so heavy that it’s running off into the wash. The dogs and I are here in the living room with nothing powered up except the computer just listening to the rain on the roof.

At some point I will need to get chores started, laundry for example, but for the moment I’m content to sit here with my cup of coffee and the rain.

Briny Water on Mars!

Mars

This is very cool. The remote sensing work to confirm the hypothesis is elegant.

I wonder, if the hypothesis is actually proven, or do we only call it proven when one of our machines or a human takes a physical sample and confirms water and perchlorate salts.

This makes me wonder if future explorers could, as part of a water production facility, use the extracted salts as a component for fuel for the return trip to Earth.  I suppose it would depend on the source of the water (underground versus atmospheric) the exact composition of the salts and how easily they can be extracted. 

This discovery gives me hope that we will go to Mars, and that someday we’ll have self sustaining colonies there.

This is progress and perhaps this discovery will spark a whole new generation of scientists.

Yes, I’m a geek, I love science and NASA!


Marvin

I also learned something else during this morning’s announcement.

Under no circumstances should you monitor the Twitter #askNASA hashtag during the announcement of a discovery.

You’re suddenly exposed to a planet full of (paraphrasing Marvin here) “depressingly stupid people.”

Honestly, some of the questions were so stupid as to actually cause brain damage, which is a mercy since the damage occurs in the hippocampus and effectively erases the memory of the question instantly.

The effect leaves a trace of revulsion and disgust, which I suspect is the brain’s way of preventing further assault,without having to process the stupidity again.

The Keeper

In my case I shut down Twitter and the feeling passed immediately.

What was it The Keeper of Talos IV said? “Punishment and Reward, you’ll find it’s an effective combination.

Reward your favorite Scientist with a hug or compliment today.

You’ve gotta be kidding me!!!

200px Taleo Symbol

I’ve written before about a job application processing system called Taleo.

I’ve not commented too much on the system itself because at the time I thought it was something specific to Cybercoders. Even after I realized that many other companies were using this abortion, I didn’t comment because well, who has time?

Simply put… Taleo is awful!

I don’t know what syphilitic, drunken, rabid, howler monkey, put that system together but they should be put out of everyone’s misery.

Instead of having you create ONE login on their system and then allowing you to designate which potential employers have access to your stored data. Then having the site ask for  whatever ancillary information the employer might request, it appears you’re required to create a new Taleo login for each employer with whom you’re applying.

The practical upshot is that you can spend your entire day playing around with Taleo fighting through poorly designed, seemingly endless questionnaires.

HP71B

Back in the olden days, I’d create a resume and cover letter, then look in the newspaper, write a list of names and addresses of companies I was going to send my resume to and spend the morning tweaking 10 or 15 resume / cover letter packages.

I’d print it all out, fold the resume and cover letter, stuff it into an envelope and mail it. I’d also have a nice organized list of who I’d applied to and where. Typically I’d work it out so that if I had interviews, they were scheduled in the afternoon. My system was nice, organized, simple, and for the most part, it got results.

For many years I maintained a database of companies in my field with the names of hiring managers and / or HR representatives. When I found myself at contract end, or laid off, I’d go home, fire up the computer update the resume, then print out 100 – 200 resumes to be put in the mail the next morning. That was before I even tried looking at the newspaper.

HP Thinkjet

Oh and by the way, the first system I did this on was an HP71B and HP ThinkJet printer. Yeah, my first resume that wasn’t produced on a typewriter was produced on what was essentially a glorified calculator running BASIC on a 4 bit processor. I did have the Mag Card Reader so I could have multiple versions of my resume and cover letter stored offline.

The printer was one of the first inkjet printers. In my configuration It ran on the old HP-IL interface.

Ok so I’m a GEEK! But at the time the 71B was what I could afford, and honestly, that machine gave me great service for many years. It’s still around here somewhere having survived many trials and tribulations.

Now days, I’ll get 8 to ten applications out on a really good day.  

It’s not uncommon to spend 45 minutes to an hour uploading my resume and cover letters only to have to correct each and every item that Taleo so helpfully parsed from my resume.  

Then there are the mandatory fields which must be filled out, even if you have no data for that field and often N/A isn’t allowed. Filling out the additional web data can easily add another 30 minutes because the requested information is so poorly presented and the rules underlying the forms are amateur at best.

Indian Call Center guy from Transformers

A classic example is this:

The form asks “Are you a Veteran?

You click the button that says “No”

Instead of deactivating ALL subsequent questions about veteran status, are you a medal holder, were you wounded, which war(s) were you active in, The form makes you say “No” or “None” or “I’m Not X,Y,Z”

It’s these things that make a Software QA person NUTS! Bad design, bad implementation, bad presentation, and error reporting that loops ya back to the page with no explanation about what the hell is wrong.

This is, in my opinion a direct result of outsourcing. However that’s another blog positing and I think I’ve covered it already.


Insanity Einstein

Yesterday though was an all time high (or low) depending on your point of view.

After filling out a 15 web page application, (one of the questions listed 17,645 possible answers but wouldn’t allow you to search) I finally got to the last page of the application gauntlet. And there I ran across something I’ve never encountered before.

Insanity Freud

A 22 page PDF explaining Binding Arbitration which I had to confirm I’d read. Followed by a three page Binding Arbitration agreement wherein I signed away all my rights in this, or any other reality, timescape, dimension, universe, afterlife, or reincarnation. (I exaggerate a little. The agreement is rendered null when you die.)

Mind you, I still haven’t gotten past the application phase of this particular ordeal.

I’ve signed Non-Disclosure agreements prior to an interview. I get that, since during the interview some company secrets may be revealed.

This arbitration thing is a whole new level. But they’re not done yet. After all that, they want you to take a survey for some tax information they need. 

All of which leaves me wondering if I want to apply for their job in the first place.

It also makes me wonder what the hell they’re so afraid of? I’ve filled out similar paperwork after being hired.

I don’t like it as a condition of employment, but with the ability to register my dispute over various items on the form in writing, I’m usually ok with binding arbitration agreements.  I’m not OK with a mandatory agreement as part of the application process.  How many people desperately seeking a job, have signed their rights away without reading the documents? 

Interview Line

The problem is, between the Taleo website failing with Safari and the time I’ve got invested in their damn application process I feel like I should complete the process.

I’d like to know if this guarantees that I’ll get an interview with a hiring manager? After all the last 28 pages of their application process is all about them, I should at least be rewarded for my time and effort with an interview.

I’ve filled out applications for bonding or security clearance that weren’t as involved at this company’s job application.

In those cases I had the job. In this case there are no guarantees that they’ll call me, or even tell me to go to hell.


storm

My experience yesterday was the perfect storm.

Dealing with Taleo makes the application process far more difficult than it needs to be.  HR departments placing unreasonable demands on applicants with legal forms, surveys, and questions which must be answered, but which no-one will ever look at, plus the usual EEOC information about race, color, ethnicity, and gender, combine to create a very off-putting application experience.

On the plus side of things, I’m noticing far more diversity in the application software.

For the better part of a year every job application took me to Taleo. That’s not happening so much now, instead the sites are cleaner, more direct and actually get down to business which is to allow you to apply for the job the company is offering.

Honestly, the moment I’m employed… I’m going to trash the 300 or so Taleo logins my poor browser has been keeping track of. 

That will be a day of celebration!  It’s a pity, I can’t as easily wipe all traces of my resume and personal information from those hundreds of accounts and employers.