24 Hour Fitness and I have divorced

Just got the final dissolution papers (in Email) today.

Eh, we had a good run. After pondering the question and visiting a couple of open gyms I decided that without the magic of the big giant eye off the 405 I just wasn’t that into them anymore.

The mega gym that I’d spent so many hours in was “home” and all the other gyms in the 24 hour chain paled by comparison. The local gyms in the chain are simply not that impressive and the clientele is less so.

There was a reason that I liked the more expensive gym, and that reason was that cost limited the clients to people that had some respect for others and typically left the place pretty clean.

The local gyms I visited were, shall we say… shitholes. That is of course when they were open. One actually made me glad I needed to wear a mask, if only I’d had some bleach to spray inside the mask, when I went in.

Should I need the services of a gym, I’ll find one. Until that time, I’ll work around the house and take walks. At least those things, I can do without a mask and without wondering what kind of fungus or other disease I’m being exposed to.

Another tie to my California Life cut. It’s been interesting to discover the threads that bind me to this place and more so how few there are left.

There’d been something nagging at the back of my mind…

The ExpanseIt was one of those little things, a thought not quite remembered. But it was somehow important, something that could potentially help me, if I could only remember it.

It’s been bugging me for weeks.  Not that I thought it was the end all be all, but something that could help me surf these all too strange waters we find ourselves in.

It was philosophical, intriguing, and dead on.

Not only could I not remember the thought, I couldn’t remember its source. That meant I had no starting point until I remembered something the Marines call “The Suck”

Once I had that starting point I kept pulling threads until I found what I was looking for.

Don’t get me wrong, The Marines are 100% right about The Suck, we’re clearly in some serious suck. Thank God for The Marines. They have a way of expressing things that is awesome.

What I was looking for was something else that was more apt to our current circumstances and the way I was feeling in particular.

I finally found what I’d been trying to remember.

It’s from “The Expanse”

One of the characters is having a conversation with a spy. The spy is kind of slippery but he’s never encountered up close and personal someone like Amos.

The exchange is as follows:

Kenzo: It must be nice, having everything figured out like that.

Amos: Ain’t nothing to do with me: we’re just caught in the Churn, that’s all.

Kenzo: I have no idea what you just said.

Amos: This boss I used to work for in Baltimore, he called it the Churn. When the rules of the game change.

Kenzo: What game?

Amos: The only game. Survival. When the jungle tears itself down and builds itself into something new. Guys like you and me, we end up dead. Doesn’t really mean anything. Or, if we happen to live through it, well that doesn’t mean anything either.

We’re in The Churn.

Amos Bearded The ExpanseThe rules are changing, it’s beyond our control. The only option is to survive… or not. Either way it doesn’t mean anything, except to us as individuals.

Individually we may be lucky or not, but in the grand scheme of things, our presence really doesn’t matter.

The best we can do is surf the churn, allowing our survival instincts to dictate our choices.

The thing is, nothing will ever be the same again because our jungle is tearing itself apart. We can’t predict what the new configuration will be. We’ll only know when it’s done.

I’m pretty rule based. I can exist, even happily, in chaos but only by recognizing that I’m in a chaotic situation. I’ve been laboring under the assumption that the chaos we’ve been in was transient and things would return to normal next month, the month after, maybe the one after.

But that is a lie. It’s a lie we’re being told to keep us complacent and prevent us from fully engaging in The Churn. The effect is that all of us are attempting to live in some shared delusion that this will all come to an end and our lives will be returned to us, based on some external force.

If in fact there is a “New Normal”, a new jungle, then we all have to go all in. We need to stop nibbling on the barrel and accept it. If that means rejecting all the laws that have previously bound us, so be it.

We’ve all pretty much come to the conclusion that COVID while real, isn’t the killer, set your hair on fire and run in tight circles, that we’ve been told it is. But still people are obeying arbitrary and capricious laws, & made up regulations.

We’ve all seen live, that rioting is becoming more common over the slightest of perceived infractions. As the police departments are defunded they will be less and less able to provide the protections that they were established to provide. Leaving average people to fend for themselves.

While at the same time witnessing harassment of average people on the streets just trying to go about their lives. We’ve seen that protecting ourselves results in imprisonment while our politicians are telling us that they’re releasing career criminals due to concerns over COVID.

Rampant and obvious corruption is visible and yet the talking heads charged with providing timely and accurate information, are doing their absolute best to look the other way.

We know that at least one candidate to our highest office is unfit for the job and clearly ill. We’re living in a barely suppressed anarchy. Regardless of a vaccine, regardless of the election, regardless of changes to the police forces. This will not stop. We’ll never get to the old normal again. The only reason the anarchy is suppressed at all is because we’re all waiting for something to magically fix it.

Waiting for magic, is waiting for a train that ain’t coming.

We must recognize that the only way through this is full speed ahead and embrace the Anarchy. Someone screws with you while you’re minding your own business, punch their lights out, or punch their ticket to where ever they’re bound for. For good measure rob ‘em. It doesn’t matter anymore. Who’re they gonna call? You were strong enough to take their shit, it’s yours. If they die well they aren’t going to be needing it anyway.

We’re all predators, the only reason we don’t kill each other more regularly is because we’re generally law abiding and mostly polite. That doesn’t seem to be working for us anymore.

In The Churn it’s better to be the top predator than prey. That’s the law of the jungle and apparently it’s the current law in places like Chicago, Seattle, Portland, LA, Minneapolis, New York, and Pittsburgh, these days.

If the whole country is gonna be like these cities then fine. I may not make it, but I’m not going alone. Simultaneously, don’t expect to arrest me for doing what every other predator is doing.

It’s time to embrace it, time to let all that rage and predatory instinct out. Time to decide what do we really want. I’d be happy with law and order.

But I will not accept that I have to obey laws that are stupid or pointless while others are immune to those same laws.

If it’s to be no law, okay then, let’s all go back to the jungle en mass. When the blood and destruction reaches some critical point…

Then I’d imagine a new jungle will have been created, and the survivors will beg for law, order, and justice again.

The End of an Era…

For many years, I’ve maintained a VIP membership at a gym in Orange County.

As part of that membership I had access to the VIP locker room. This was not the locker room you’d be familiar with if you attend a “normal” gym.

This locker room was all wood. It had a private Jacuzzi, wet & dry saunas, private access to the pool, and ample sinks and mirrors, where it was not uncommon to see 8 to 10 men shaving in the morning and often in the evenings if they were going out on a date.

We all had private lockers, towel service, the gym would wash our dirty workout clothes and leave them in our lockers when finished. There was fresh coffee, and fresh fruit available in a lounge area that seated 10 around a big screen TV usually tuned to the financial news or on weekends to one of the various games. They even had a place where you could drop off your laundry and pick it up a couple days later all conveniently billed to your Gym account with a monthly itemized statement delivered to your locker.

Occasionally one of the guys would bring his son or sons into the gym and the locker room to change clothes, or shower after father and son(s) worked out or used the pool. No-one paid any mind as long as the youngster wasn’t misbehaving. It was a place of Men.

In a time when places for Men were disappearing and feminism was taking it’s toll on even Barber Shops, it was a place that was a welcome sanctuary from the hubbub of the business day. I can’t count how many business deals I heard being closed in the lounge chairs over coffee or a cool post workout smoothie.

I spent many happy hours in that locker room. Sometimes finishing a report for work, but more often just starting my day there.

I’d drive to the gym, workout, shower, shave, have breakfast, then walk across the street to work. Sometimes I’d start and end my day at the gym, using cardio to burn the frustrations of the day away waiting for traffic to die down.

The gym had regular locker-rooms for men and women too. But I was worth the added expense and really enjoyed the VIP locker room because it was always quiet and comfortable. I guess you could call it a “Safe Space”.

The Gym itself had a pro shop, dining area, the usual array of weight machines, free weight areas, racquet ball and basketball courts, spin classes, yoga, aerobic studios, conference rooms (that you could reserve a month in advance), a hair salon, child care for the kids who were too young or not interested in working out with Dad or Mom. It was a big place and for a time, only the best of the best trainers got to work there.

While trying to figure out when the Gym would re-open due to COVID I discovered that my gym would never re-open.

24 Hour Fitness is in bankruptcy and apparently my gym was one of the casualties of their default, 130 gyms in all.

There’d been no notice, no email, no letter… nothing. This left me wondering where, when, and how I’d get my things from my locker. I tried calling corporate and all I got was a recording telling me that due to COVID there was no one to talk to. I wrote a strongly worded letter to corporate and heard nothing.

Last Friday, I got an email from 24 Hour Fitness telling me that I needed to call the number provided as soon as possible, to collect my things. I called the number Monday and made arrangements to drive down to grab my gear.

It almost wasn’t worth it. One shoe, my workout clothes, racquet balls, and all my toiletries were missing. They did manage to get my shower shoes, my racquet ball racquet, and my favorite yoga mat into a big plastic trash bag. They had no idea about the other items or why they’d not made it into the bag. Except for the racquet, the drive to OC was almost not worth making.

24 Hour Fitness, is giving me a great rate on their All Gym package in consideration of the closure. I can literally go to any of their gyms which is no different than what my membership always provided.

It won’t be the same. I’ll have to hump my shit to and from the gym, fiddle with a padlock and remember what locker I put my shit in when I’m done with my workout. I know this is the normal way gyms work but I’ve tasted better, and I liked it. I liked walking into the gym like a zombie, getting my stuff out of my locker dressing to work out and actually waking up at some point during my workout. I liked going to the locker room and having a cup of coffee before I showered and got on with my day.

That’s all a thing of the past now. I haven’t made any decision yet about the membership. I think it’s best to let the wound scab over a bit.

The gym where I picked up my stuff was strange. No music, no TVs. It’s a nice place, but felt strange. People on cardio machines with their masks on, their earbuds in their ears listening to their own groove from phones or pads in front of them. Few people were using the weights, and those who’d completed their workouts left the gym sweaty and disheveled. The locker room was empty as I made my way through to the bathroom. It was like a weird movie. Everyone silent and isolated, even in a crowd.

I’m not sure that I’ll be maintaining the membership. I don’t like this version of “Normal”

It occurred to me that I have no ties left with OC other than one remaining friend there.

OC used to be a big part of my world. I worked there, my doctor was there, I drank there, and played there. Now OC is just another place that I used to know, but don’t goto anymore. Los Angeles, Hollywood, and The Valley all have this same feeling. Places I used to goto but don’t anymore. Palm Springs is starting to feel like this too. Distant, broken, alien.

I’m beginning to think, for me, this is more than COVID fatigue. It’s something deeper.