Category: Musings

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Blessed Rain!

toiletpunishment

It’s been raining since about 4:30am here.

The sound of rain on the roof isn’t what woke me. I was already up tending to an ailing dog and punishing my plumbing due to something I ate.

I think the dog appreciated the company, I on the other hand, would rather have been asleep.

If you’re not a South Park fan, the image wont make any sense. I’m not going to explain it, I’m just going to leave you wondering.

In any case it’s raining! Yipee! There are puddles in the yard and if I didn’t feel so rotten and tired I’d be tempted to go outside and play in them.

I don’t think I’d be naked… There are just too damn many people around here who might take offense. I miss the old days, when we had houses near us, but no full time neighbors. I’ll leave that to your imagination too. 

Flood Advisory.pngWe’re under a flood advisory, until 11 am. Or so says the weather thingy.

I’ve got this nifty little weather application on my computer, the best 4 bucks I’ve spent in a long time. Although in CA the application doesn’t have a lot to do. “Sunny and hot” was it’s only message for months.  

I thought the thing was broken for a while till I remembered that California weather is really that boring.  I’m exaggerating. A little…

I don’t have to worry about flooding here, but it will be a problem down in the flatlands. 

Honestly I’m too tired to really worry about it. I’ve been napping off & on all morning. The dogs are snoring and the rain is tapping on the roof. It’s quiet in the neighborhood and in the house. A lazy day to be sure, but one that is sorely needed.

I’ll have to get my butt moving soon, but not quite yet. I hope your day is as peaceful.

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All I want is some quiet…

earthmovers

Between the month and a half of earth movers, dumptrucks, grinding and chirping and beep beep beep noises and the people next door constantly building, sawing, hammering, and whatever coupled with their little Chihuahua who barks every single time I or one of my usually quiet dogs step out onto the deck.

I’m well beyond a point where I want to move, I’m into the planning and wondering how to make a move.

stripmine

At this point I think living next to a gravel pit, or a strip mine might actually be quieter. Perhaps a home in the inner city ghetto of Chicago, LA or New York, the gunshots would be intermittent and I wouldn’t have to worry about neighborhood improvement projects involving heavy equipment. I’d just have to worry about the occasional renovation by riot and fire. Other than that It would probably be pretty quiet.

Okay, I exaggerate. 

chihuahua

I suppose I’m a little grumpy because today is one of those really NICE breezy days. It’s not so breezy that it’s destructive or kicking up a ton of dust but just nice enough that it’s not too cool, not too warm and we’ve got intermittent clouds making it a perfect day to be out on my rear deck, writing blogs, or stories or looking for a job, or just enjoying the breeze

Problem is, if i set foot outside the rear door Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap!

Then my dog decides he needs to have the last word because that little Yappy dog is barking at me, and he charges the fence line barking and the little Chihuahua who has to answer, stirs up the bigger dog in their house so that now we have three dogs barking at each other for no good reason.

Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap!  BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! 

uglyfence

My dog has accidentally destroyed the raspberries that I had planted along that side of the yard, and more than once has injured himself because of that nasty ill behaved little POS.

I don’t even try to go out on the deck now. In fact I don’t even LIKE going out there to tend the plants or anything else. I’m to the point that between the awful looking fence, and the nasty little dog, I don’t go out there if I can help it at all.

It’s just way too annoying.

goodpup

I’ve been taking my dogs ON LEASH out to the front yard just so I don’t have to hear the little bitch yapping.

I’ll admit I don’t like Chihuahuas in general. When I was a young boy, the old woman next door had two or three of the things and they made any attempt to play in my back yard absolutely miserable.

That’s part of why I stayed in my room and read books so much. It wasn’t that I didn’t like the outdoors, and it wasn’t that I was a nerd, it was that I couldn’t stand incessant barking and noise even as a child.

To this day, among the first lessons my dog is taught, is barking is not a good thing and when I tell them to shut up I mean it.

dreams for the dog next door

My old dog just can’t let it go he’s 13, and a grand old man for his breed. The Chihuahua is right there barking at him, at me, and sticking her nose through the fence to do it. I honestly can’t blame him for barking back. But the cycle is never ending and I end up yelling at him to be heard, and then he’s in trouble for nothing he’s done wrong.

Of course it’s not the Chihuahua’s fault either, it’s the OWNERS! If they exercised the least bit of control and assertiveness over the animal, things would be better. But that household is two women and they don’t correct the dog, they try talking to it. I swear at this point, it’s shock collar time!

I might be inclined to step out on the deck every 10 minutes just to hear the Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap!  YIPE!  

I love animals, I detest badly behaved animals.

I miss the quiet of the wind in the trees not having neighbors.

Guess I’m going to have to get a “GO AWAY! Home of Grumpy old man” doormat.

Oh I’ll have to make a recording that says “You kids get off my lawn,” too. I say recording because I’m a modern kind of guy, I won’t actually be out on the porch yelling, I’ll use a proximity sensor and MP3 player.

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There’s just too much in my head

JamesCaanrollerball

There are some of you that will say there’s not enough in my head, as in I don’t have a full deck.

Well you may be right.

The past couple of days, have been days where I’ve got a ton of cool stuff running around in my head but I can’t seem to grab any one of those things and hang on.

I know I need to focus and yet the more I try to force the focus the more scattered the thoughts become.

Purgeani

I think it’s time to clear the noggin.

The question is, HOW?

It was as I was pondering this question that I flashed on Rollerball with James Caan.

Pikacho

There’s this scene where he’s letting go of all kinds of things. His best friend is brain dead, and the corporations have taken his wife away and given her to a more popular player. He’s sitting in his apartment watching recordings of happier times and decided to let it all go. He presses a button on his remote and the recording of his wife freezes then dissolves.

Which led to the question, “Do I have what I need to create animated GIF’s?” The answer to that question is the flashing text above.

I need to find that button in my brain.

I know electroshock can reset an errant brain. I think that’s probably a bit drastic.

Romanorgy

Sex can do it sometimes but the last time that worked for me required a weekend at a resort I know of, where… well, lets just say there are times when some of the classics of Rome are re-enacted, sans the killing of emperors, senators, and burning of cities.

Then I flash back to James Caan and wonder why Scott Caan wasn’t in the remake of Rollerball.

Then I’m back to the pondering of resetting my brain.

And then I realize I’ve gotten up 4 times to go get a glass of tea and keep getting lost between here and the kitchen!

I’m beginning to think my muse is having a speed run pumping all kinds of stuff into my head.

That orgy is looking better and better all the time!

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One of those nights…

Hell

It’s hot. 

Not brutally HELL hot, but warm enough that sleep is hard to come by.

Like most guys I’ve already tried using our built-in sleeping aid. Multiple times! There’s only so many times you can get your rocks off and not fall asleep before you say fuck it!

That’s where I am now. The fuckit phase. My body is happily relaxed, I’m sitting here at my desk naked as the day I was born, albeit a bit hairier. The other half is tossing and turning, and snoring so loud it’s rattling the walls. This may be one of those nights where I sleep here in the office / guest room.  I have a tall glass of water but am contemplating something stronger. 

Rise of the Guardians Sandman

The Sandman is freakin late! I have a good mind to punch him square in the face when he does finally come.

It’s supposedly not a good idea to work on computers or iPads if you’re trying to fall asleep. but I don’t want to lay in bed looking at the ceiling wondering if I should abuse and frustrate myself again. Besides, I’m running low on personal lubricant! After all there’s only so many orgies you can host before your lube supply shows the strain.

So here I am blogging.

Recently I’ve been asking myself why I blog at all. The answer seems to be that this fulfills a need to express myself and I think of the blog as more like a diary of sorts. It’s obviously not like the locked up super secret private journal that many people keep. No, this is out there and public, and would probably prevent me from seeking political office.

Maybe that too is a good thing, I’m not sure I could sell my soul the way our politicians have to just to get elected. I don’t lie very well.

03 19 2014 plaid 7

Don’t get me wrong… I can lie better than any politician you care to name. It’s just that I choose to live telling as few lies as is possible. “Yes that dress has a slimming effect on you.” (Subconsciously, I’m thinking, “in the same way black slims down the size of an 18 wheeler.”)

Lying about my principals, or core beliefs is something that I’d rather not do. My preference is to simply keep my mouth shut and in extreme cases; at a party for example, I’ll have another drink. The trouble is, if I were running for office I’d be drunk off my ass most of the time.  Maybe that would work. Our politicians seem to be drunk or high more often than not. I’d hate to believe that they were naturally as stupid and dishonest as they appear to be. Realistically, they probably are, but that’s another discussion.

Porn?

Kiss, kiss, kiss, lick, lick, lick, suck, suck, suck, fuck, fuck, fuck, ropey globs of cum, artificially happy & satisfied, expressions. The dudes in gay films are happy because they just made 3k! Hell, I’d be smiling too! I don’t know what the pay scale is for the cast in a straight movie. I suppose the women are paid pretty well, but the dudes aren’t.  Thus the saying, “gay for pay.”

However, while I usually don’t make it through the first scene of a porn flick before I fall asleep. Most porn is predictable. Well, at least the first 5 minutes of the first scenes, that’s usually all I see before I’m off in dreamland. Tonight it’s unlikely that will work

DoleQueue

I’m amped about jobs, and money, and trying to chart a future (and failing) which is adding to my angst. That’s how I can be physically very relaxed and mentally my brain is in overdrive.  

Funny, my writing this seems to have quieted my mind. 

Gentle reader you should probably book mark this one, if my writing it put me to sleep, You reading it should work pretty much like the best sleeping pill you can buy.

Donations gratefully accepted!

Good night!

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I’m so over the Jenner /Kardashian media Circus!

BruceJenner

I’m also very easily bored!

I’m over it! I don’t care, and I’m sick and tired of seeing and hearing about His transition to Her new life. It’s his / her business and I don’t need to know about it, or for that matter want to know about it. Intellectually, I’m glad she is finding happiness and peace in her new life.

In my gut… well that’s another story.

Intellectually, I know Transgendered folks suffer because they feel like they’re in the wrong body. I know that sex reassignment is a radical and oftentimes last resort for these folks to find peace and happiness in their lives. I have compassion for them and am glad that medical science can give them relief and a shot at happiness.

The ones that confuse the hell out of me are the folks who go through all the surgery and then end up being in a same sex relationship. That really causes my brain to just blue screen.

CaitlanJenner

Most of the folks who transition from one gender to the other do it quietly, methodically, and with a great deal of psychological support.  

They’re very serious about what they’re doing and their choices are made in the privacy of their own lives.

The Jenner media circus has created a situation where I’m unable to avoid very distressing visualizations of surgical procedures.

Yeah, you really can’t un-see something.  Unfortunately, I once looked up how the procedure is done.  

As a result when the Jenner media circus comes on the TV or pops up in a news Item I’m turning the TV off or closing my web browser.

The trouble is, IT’S EVERYWHERE! 

In my gut…

I’m totally creeped out!! I can’t not visualize it, I can’t un-see it. (There is a slightly positive side… I’m losing weight, because about the time my appetite returns the next news cycle hits.)

Please Jenner, You’ve successfully harnessed the Kardashian publicity machine, you’re on the cover of Vanity Fair, you’ve signed entertainment deals, kindly exit stage left. It’s past time for you to leave the spotlight.

If anything good has come from this circus it’s that you may have given me an appreciation of what PTSD may be like.

I wonder if I could get paid for my emotional distress?

Everyone else sues at the drop of a hat why shouldn’t I?