I really need to get a real job again

The past three years have been a bit of a waste. Don’t get me wrong, income is a good thing. The problem with income where all you do is tread water, is that you’re not pushing the ball forward.

office politics KnivesWhen I joined the most recent company I thought it was an entry path to Software QA (my primary career) in the medical field (new territory). Unfortunately, the company tends to silo each of its departments very heavily. The HR department doesn’t really look at the employees as assets, they only think of employees as components that are replaceable as was so vividly demonstrated.

My Career arc is funny. Not haha, but strange, when I started out many years ago, I had technical aptitude, and the ability to repair machines that some people described as uncanny. Not surprising since generally I like machines better than I like people and so I had an understanding of machines that I still don’t have with people.

I carried a tool kit in those early days, and moved gradually, as I was able, into positions of greater responsibility. I’ve worked a lot of jobs in the technical industry gradually moving up the corporate ladder and accumulating a lot of experience and knowledge.

Problem is, a lot of corporations don’t really like that kind of employee. It’s tough to silo someone like that. Folks like me tend to just fix a problem, we don’t worry too much about coloring outside the lines. We’re dedicated to the mission, getting the product out the door, and we figure the toes we step on will be bandaged, and the paperwork can be finished up after the launch party while we’re counting our bonuses.

In most situations this worked very well. The old saying “The proof is in the pudding” won out. Then sometime in late ‘80s it started to change. The workplace became more political and forgiveness was harder to come by, especially if your decision was glaringly the correct one.

It wasn’t that big a worry for me because there was enough “old guard” management who appreciated someone who not only would make a decision to move things forward, but who would also stand behind that decision and take the hit if things went wrong.

By the late ‘90s political machinations were so entrenched in technical corporations that making an independent decision was tantamount to corporate espionage. In some cases it was worse. This was especially true if you happened to step on middle management’s toes. 

Organizational politics by noman ghalib 2 638There seemed to be a trend toward vendetta, and loss of sight about getting the job done. People spent more time covering their asses, and currying favor, than they did actually working. Those who sat quietly doing their jobs were forgotten and almost never acknowledged for their contribution.

The only time these folks were acknowledged is when they needed time off for medical procedures, or to tend to family business. Then, their request was subjected to a bureaucratic nightmare of discussion and rules & regulations.

It didn’t matter how many years they’d worked in silence or how many weeks of unused vacation time they had, or that they’d never asked for time off… after making a request they were on the radar and were considered a “problem”. Often, “business needs” was used as an excuse to deny the employee’s request. This left the employee in a difficult position of quitting their job to meet medical or familial obligations or ignoring those obligations altogether. 

The political machinations only got worse throughout the ‘00s. 

At some point in the 2000’s I decided that I wanted something different and that I wanted to contribute to our country’s well being. In the mid 2000’s I found a job that paid a bit less and was a lot further from my home in the defense industry.

Generally speaking, I loved it. There were frustrations to be sure. But as long as I could avoid the politics that were growing like a malicious weed, I was a happy camper. I was fortunate to have a couple of bosses that thought their job was to insulate their employees from the endless bullshit or the politics so that the employees could get the job done.

Under their umbrella, I could just work, be productive, and happy.

Political cartoon corporate greedThat changed after the 2008 election. Then, there was no protection from politics. Because the US govt. started switching funding on and off. A lot of great people lost their jobs through no fault of their own, because our politicians loved playing games with each other and gave no thought to unintended consequences.

That led me to unemployment and experience with agism coupled with full blown corporate politics and this rather strange philosophy that regardless of your experience if you’d not completed college you couldn’t possibly know anything. Or that whatever you knew wasn’t relevant to the job you were applying for even if the job requirements were exactly the same as the position you’d previous occupied.

At my most recent employer, there were a lot of people about my age who experienced the same bias I had, and who’d taken this job to get a foot in the door. What we didn’t know was how different things had become, or that the company was going to doom us to a “boxed in” position where the only options were suck it up, or leave. 

As we learned that hard lesson, we began to start looking elsewhere and many of us found other positions, though in the San Diego area there aren’t many positions to be had for experienced older workers. The pay scale for those available positions is representative of a two class system. (Obscenely high, or barely scraping by.) With the cost of living in the area, many of my former coworkers  have relocated, just as I’m doing. (I do hope someone remembers to secure San Onofre before the last “old guys” leave or are forced out.)

I think a lot of my former coworkers realized they’d made a mistake before they were out of their training classes. I know I did, but like “Old guys” we figured it was a mistake that could be corrected after we’d paid our dues. Turns out we were all operating under old rules that no longer apply in the Corporate America of today.

I’ve decided that I’m going to chalk this experience up to, “The School of hard knocks” and I’m going to focus my attention on getting a job in the defense industry. At least there, people are more results oriented and appreciative of someone that will make a decision, take action, and move the ball forward.

I’ll be looking over other positions and will apply to those that pay well and are also within my experience base. But my focus will be on defense jobs, I really need to work someplace where I fit.

My next challenge is getting my former company to send the check to a valid address or better yet do what they say they’re going to do in the exit paperwork. Then I need to re-establish my access to ADP for my tax records (yeah, looks like they turned that off).

I just want to close the book on this whole wasted time, and move forward.

I suspect that dealing with the company’s HR department is going to be as difficult as they can possibly make it. It’s been their modus operandi for the past three years, it’s unreasonable to expect anything different now.

So it’s off to have the car serviced, then back to packing for the move.

Wish me luck, and as always have a good day.

The Job search continues…

I’m at a tipping point now.

Our team has returned to answering the phones full time. Oh Joy!

Our team was set up to fail from the beginning.

We warned the supervisor, and she chose not to listen. She actively deluded herself into believing that everyone was her friend.

Now she’s terrified that she’s going to lose her job.

That little tidbit is something I’m going to get a lot of milage out of. I have been and will continue to use that the give her a taste of what her inaction has done to all of us.

She refused to stand for anything and has demonstrated graphically, Those who don’t stand for something, stand for nothing, She didn’t stand up for us or her team, instead she was off in her own little world. We, her team, did all the heavy lifting and we got raped for it.

Now we’re being used and abused by anyone and everyone.

She’s weak, and once it became obvious that she had no clue about any aspect of what we did, questions were asked. Shortly thereafter there was blood in the water and her friends started taking bites out of her.

It sounds like I’m describing sharks…

Comparing the management at my company to sharks is an insult to sharks.

Perhaps Jackals is a better comparison.

Now, I’m enjoying playing Loki. The right word in the wrong ear, and chaos rains down. I’m enjoying watching these jackals trying to figure out who they should attack. What’s happening is that they can’t identify their enemies and are unsure of past alliances.

The supervisors are dividing and isolating themselves. They’re having a taste of what they’ve done to their employees over the past few years.

The two brightest of my colleagues figured out what I’ve been doing and they’re as amused as I am. Where there was one – now there are three… They’ve joined in.

At the same time all of us have stepped up our job searches. We sniffed something in the air and it’s since been revealed the upper management is doing two things that are not unexpected, but are tell-tails of where this is all heading.

They’re moving the mahogany row offices to towers in the sky, only a short 15 minute ride away. It also appears that a new office that replicates all our functions is being established in another country.

This means an already checked out and clueless management will move further away from the wage slaves they’re supposed to be “connected” with and they will become more removed from the actual work being done.

What was it that management said about not closing our facility? Did former President Obama ‘if you like your health care you can keep your health care’ join the board of directors?”

Well Mr. President, I liked my healthcare and lost it in the first wave of changes.  Due to the confusion created by the sweeping healthcare changes, I also paid for more than a year of healthcare insurance for which I received no benefits and subsequently filed 

and WON

a suit against the insurance provider. Truly a case of winning the battle and losing the war. So as the costs mounted, was it any surprise that insurance companies started bailing on ACA?

I digress.

I’m listening a lot more to the talk of my coworkers.

The bottom line is that none of them are happy or care about doing things the right way anymore. It’s not that there is a right or a wrong way to do things (There is) but in what we do there are shades of gray. Most everyone is not even worrying about situations where they’ve missed the mark entirely. After all the client will call back and bitch about it later anyway, to someone else.

Burnout is evident everywhere. I think of it as repetitive stress in your brain.

We deal with people on medicare. They’re the worst. Don’t get me wrong it’s not about agism, after all I’m almost there too. It’s about so very many of them being technologically ignorant. They’re not dumb or stupid, they’re just fighting through a system that is stacked against them. Icons that don’t convey the entire message, equipment that is difficult to read for aged eyes, and instructions that are unclear.

By the time these people call in, they’re pretty frustrated and pissed off. There are a number of them that completely miss the point of the devices we support and do things that make no sense.

These people take time to address and sort out. Often you can’t answer the question from a technological standpoint, you’ve got to make the information relatable to the person. This  takes more time.

These days, it’s time we don’t have. We’re constantly asked why a particular call is taking so long. This of course makes us try to hurry the process along and often results in miscommunication. Which leads to additional calls from the same person because now they’re expecting the equipment to behave in a particular way and it’s not.

The medicare person’s frustration is compounded by fear, confusion, and long telephone hold times. Lots of my younger coworkers will say just about anything to get a medicare person off the phone, it not that they truly don’t care, it’s that we’re in a toxic environment and the priority is to get to the next call.

This has devolved into a strictly numbers situation. The employee is only as valuable as the number of calls they answer, not whether the client hung up the phone knowing what they needed to know and how to actually use the equipment.

So in addition to the frustration of working in a truly shitty environment, we’re all dealing with the truly shitty job of finding another place of employment.

President Trump talks about fake news, he’d totally lose his shit if he had to deal with fake job leads.

While it sounds racist, I’ve gotten to the point that if I get an email from someone who is obviously Indian (Dot, not feather) the email goes straight to the SPAM folder. 90% of the time these are emails completely unrelated to qualifications spelled out in my resume.

I really love the emails that start by telling me the sender has spent hours choosing me for a position that is nothing like what my resume says. Those assholes are immediately deleted. My next favorite email type, are the ones where the city, state, or job title is completely misspelled and also on the other side of the country. Uh yeah… you did a lot of research to make sure that you presented a professional appearance.

I’m changing the job search paradigm. Blindly sending resumes to positions posted on job search sites isn’t working. I’m looking for companies that are interesting and checking their “careers” sections. I’m applying directly rather than on sites like Dice, Monster, LinkedIn, and the rest.

Thus far the results aren’t any better in terms of interviews, but at least I’m cutting out the middle men.

I’m also trying to build connections with other people. That’s a lot harder than it sounds. Where do you go to meet people these days? Social media is right out! No one on social media is what they claim to be.  Besides, I hate social media!

Anyhow, if I’m not writing very much or only posting sporadically it’s nothing personal. I’m just preoccupied with more immediate issues.

Hope that as we head into the holiday season you’re all doing great.

Life is funny…

Just when I’ve decided to un-case my demonic wings and go back to being “that guy” I have a chance encounter, and a weird “Message?”


“That Guy” for those who haven’t known me for 30 years, is someone that I spent a great deal of effort putting in the ground in my consciousness. That was the “me” that lived for conflict, revenge, hostility, and chaos. That was the me that loved and got off on political games, and causing discord simply because I could.

The me of today might say stuff, but it’s usually in the context of joking.

The “Me” of years ago wouldn’t joke about it, he’d revel in it and feed the fires until someone quit or got fired and enjoy watching the fallout. About the time things settled down again, I’d start all over. Not for any reason other than it amused me, and so many people were so dumb that they didn’t realize they were being played.

It took a lot of effort and time to break myself of that habit. On balance, that effort was rewarded because I no longer had to carry the burden of guilt about the misery I’d had a hand in creating. I also slept better at night and came to like myself a lot more.

It is with a lot of conflicting emotions that I even consider letting that genie back out of his bottle. He’s an addiction, power corrupts, and manipulating people into dancing my dance a little, even for the right reasons can easily lead to manipulating people just for the fuck of it.

There’s an insight into why I react sooo very poorly when people try to manipulate me.

Just tell me what you want. I’ll either agree or not, and we’ll move on from there. Don’t try to engage me in your bullshit then try to ease into something that you already know I’m going to be opposed to. Just cut to the chase, make a reasoned case for why you want me to do something and thus opens the negotiation.


Anyhow, I’d just come to peace with letting “That Guy” out of his bottle. I was going to go into work and just start fomenting chaos and seeing if I could end a few careers. I’m not deluding myself, I wasn’t considering doing this for any greater good, or altruism.

This was about nothing more or less that revenge, hate, rage and feeling like I’d been betrayed.

If, as part of the collateral damage, some good came of the destruction, then so be it. Call me Shiva and make me a god.

So I’m sitting in a bar. I’d decided to have a whiskey before getting on the long drive back down to San Diego. The place wasn’t very busy, so I asked the bartender if he liked what he did.

He said, “Yes. This is the greatest job in the world.”

I thought to myself, “Interesting, what’s his angle? No Job is that good.”

He went on, “I used to be in the mortgage banking business. I made a shit ton of money but never had the time to enjoy it. I don’t make that kind of money here, but I make more than you’d think and I leave this place and go on with my life. I don’t think about work when I’m not at work.

I thought about it a minute and concluded that I’m looking for something like that.

The bartender went to go help a new arrival.

He came back and said you know we’re hiring. He said, “I can teach anyone to be a bartender, I can’t teach someone to have a personality. “

I chatted with the patron next to me for a minute.

The Bartender came back asking if he could close my tab out. He was going off shift. I said, “Sure and and asked for an application.”

Can’t hurt to ask…

I decided to wait for a couple weeks before letting “That Guy” out of the bottle. Maybe the universe was trying to tell me something, maybe I’m not as at peace with going back to who I was as I think I am. 

Either way, it’s another choice.