My God I am tired of the job hunting games!

I’ve written about the EDD, I’ve written about companies demanding Twitter and Facebook account information. 

Now, It’s crap where companies are asking questions that sound an awful lot like “Does this dress make me look fat?” Every single man in America knows that no matter what answer you give… it’s the wrong one!

Why do you want to work for us?

“Well… My unemployment benefits are running out. I’m tired of jerking off or fucking all day. I’d like to go back to contributing to my 401K.

I don’t really know much about your company since your web site is all about marketing hype but doesn’t actually say what the hell you do. However, your ad matches my experience and qualifications pretty closely so I figured I’d apply.

Finally, to steal a quote from Malcolm Reynolds, “I have a powerful need to eat sometime this month.”

Oh and that dress makes you look really fat! Ya probably want to loose that skirt/tutu thing with that leotard… The whole ensemble just makes your fat ass look like Saturn!

Of course that kind of brutal honesty isn’t something that anyone nowadays is ready to hear. Honesty it seems is just too … honest.

You know… honesty, like reality can be painful!

Instead some companies apparently want to be wooed like a fucking Prom Date!

Which, by the way is one of the reasons that prostitution is such a popular service industry. At least prostitution is honest. You see the goods, you like the goods, you rent the goods, and you get off. Everyone is happy. There’s a straight forward no-nonsense business transaction and that’s it.

Dollar

But corporate America apparently wants to play games, and have you win a popularity contest before they’ll even look at your resume. 

Don’t we play enough games? Look at my fucking resume, then using that information narrow down the list of candidates, then call us, then schedule an interview. Shouldn’t a cover letter and resume be sufficient for consideration? Why on earth would qualifications be secondary to how pretty the lies you tell are?

If Corporate America wants a popularity contest that’s fine… I’ll put on my best suit, (Or my sexiest outfit) and take a bunch of pictures of myself leading up to a grand finale where they see my cock and then some little HR bitch can decide if I’m worthy enough to actually speak with the hiring manager

Yeah… I’m over the bullshit!

I can do the fucking job! Stop toying with me.

It’s real simple corporate America

I’ll do the job, and you’ll pay me.

I’m probably not going to want to spend my off time with my co-workers

I will use the money you pay me to eat, buy shit, date, and screw. And you Corporate America can’t say shit about that.

I’ll be professional at work

I will never be owned by you, and honestly if someone comes along and makes me a better offer I’m likely to consider it JUST LIKE YOU WOULD! 

The only difference is that you’ll align and realign with large corporations in strategic partnerships and I’ll align and realign with your competitors for straight up Cash! I won’t give your secrets away because more often than not those are given away on the golf courses of America… CEO to CEO.

SO Don’t ask us to participate in your popularity contests.

Don’t worry about equal opportunity employment crap, just hire the best fucker for the job and move on.

 

Just when did I sign on at an Indian Job placement firm?

IWorklogo just got a call out of the blue from a job placement company.

The guy calling was obviously Indian. His accent was so thick that I could barely understand him.

He sent me an email while we were speaking on the phone. That gave me and Identification of the company, this guy worked for. As I explored their website I found that in addition to a supposed office in IL their main office were actually in Bhusari Colony,
Kothrud, Pune 411038 India.

So that’s all fine except that this guy tells me he wants me to respond to his email in the next 15 minutes. Say what?? Hello, I’m actually filling out another application right at the moment.  I told this guy that, then he starts pressuring me to apply for a job in San Jose, for 80k max and he has no idea what the hell the job is. All he can tell me is that it’s something to do with embedded systems That could be anything from a Jet Engine control module to an implantable medical device.

His email has a ONE LINE job description and the only information is a requirement for HP Quality Center which is a test tool HP purchased from Mercury Interactive.

What the fuck?

So this moron wants me to apply, in the blind for a position that I have no data on, and he wants me to do this in the next 15 minutes…

I told him that the application I was working on would be finished first, then I’d send him the information he wanted. He asked how long that would be… I told him he’d have it by tomorrow morning. 

You know I want a job, but I can’t waste time with people that don’t do their jobs. Especially when I’ve got a real job application that I’m working on.

——– UPDATE ——–

Ok maybe I’m a bit too sensitive.

I get another email this morning from this Manoj guy. This time he’s wanting me to sign a document that says, and I’m paraphrasing here;

“I promise under threat of litigation, that I will not apply for or allow anyone else to submit me for a position with GE or any of their subsidiaries or partners for the next 45 days.”

I have some problems with this.

1) GE has it’s fingers in companies all over the world. Technically that makes all of those companies subsidiaries or partners, completely off limits. How would I keep track?

2) The document also specifically mentions a Wisconsin job opportunity NOT a San Jose position that we discussed yesterday.

3) Until yesterday I never heard of the agency this guy works for.

4) Based on his comportment, his inability to speak English clearly, and the way he represented his company… I DON’T want him representing ME.

I was polite, I sent an email saying that I couldn’t in good conscience sign this exclusivity agreement because I had no capacity to control what other headhunters may or may not do and bade him farewell.

I hop in the shower, when I’m put together for the day, I check my email again. There’s another email from him. This one is the same email as yesterday with ONE difference. It’s for a position in WI.

Yesterday:

I have a fulltime position at San Jose CA which is an HP QC and embedded requirement.

In case you are interested please call me back asap.

Today:

I have a fulltime position at Milwaukee WI  which is an HP QC and embedded requirement.

In case you are interested please call me back asap.

The rest of the email is a list of questions… all of which are answered in my resume, and oh… They’re also answered on the job search board that he got my contact information from. Mind you he’s asking for all this information but nowhere does he ask for a resume, or salary history

Name: 
Availability:      
Current Location:

 Please let me know if you wish to consider him!

Contact No.:       

Email ID:   

Work Status:        
 

Employer Details
Full Name: 
Company Name:

Phone No: 
Email ID:

 

Reference 1
 
Name: 
Designation:
Company:
Phone No:
Email ID:
 
Reference 2
 
Name:
Designation:
Company:
 Phone No:
Email ID:

I preserved the formatting of his email. If you look carefully, you’ll see that after this information has been filled out… It looks like he just cuts and pastes it, including the line ” Please let me know if you wish to consider him!” into an outbound email to his supposed client. I wonder if Manoj remembers to change the pronoun… I doubt it.

I’ve come to the conclusion that this guy in fact doesn’t have a client. He’s just spamming corporations with names and resumes hoping that someone will be interesting enough that he can get his 10% to 20% cut of their salary.

I’ve no sooner looked at the email than my phone is ringing. Yep it’s this idiot… I decline to answer.

I thought about writing a nice email to him explaining that I wasn’t interested in he or his company representing me. But I thought the effort would be a wasted one.

One of the advantages of owning your own domain names is that you have the ability to really control what’s going on through those domains.

Believing that Manoj wouldn’t get the hint, (I may be one of the few people he’s spoken to for more than 5 minutes) I created a filter on my domain that will reject all messages from his corporate domain, returning an error message “YOU HAVE BEEN BLOCKED BY THIS USER”

Maybe he’ll get the message then.

If you’re looking for a job, be careful in your search.

There are people like Manoj who through their puerile efforts simply blow your chances of even being considered, and then there are others who actually use the information that you provide about your work history and other personal information to construct false identities or steal yours. 

Remember, there are always predators. This is  especially true in tough economic times.

 

Another Disturbing Trend

I just had an interesting situation while filling out an online job application.

Tweet

The online application REQUIRED a Twitter account.

Uhhh Excuse ME?

Then after I created a Twitter account, the application still wouldn’t allow me to enter the twitter account that I’d just created. I bailed on the form…

I figure that’s just too weird.

In thinking about it I’m betting that they didn’t allow me to enter my new Twitter account because I hadn’t tweeted anything yet.

You know… the job market is tough enough without having to be clever and interesting and competing for followers on Twitter.

I’m not interested enough in that social media competition to engage in it. Most of what I’ve seen of Twitter involves Russian Girls offering to show me their private parts online so that I’ll send them a plane ticket to the US. NOPE! Not interested. There are plenty of American girls willing to show me their private parts and it doesn’t cost me a plane ticket.

Besides, I’ve got other interests and little desire to impress strangers that I’m likely never going to meet.

Which proves that as a filter device requiring a job applicant to have a Twitter account is a winning strategy. Obviously the company in question is far more interested in what it’s employees are saying on Twitter, than actually doing business. And I’m probably not “hip” enough to work for them.

Next!

 

Nice to know that I’m not the only one…

Norcalreflection

Was at the Car Dealership yesterday and overheard a couple of conversations that had me nodding in agreement.

California isn’t just hated by me… 

I heard two separate conversations between four different men all of whom are in their mid 40s to mid 50s. In their conversation they were all talking about packing up their shit a leaving the state.

One guy was waiting for his 2 sons to get out of the house. One of them is going to be a sheriff, the other one is 23 and still at home, fighting for a job in an ever decreasing job market.

In this guys case he wasn’t too upset at having a 23 year old living with him. He rightly observed that with things as expensive as they are here, his sons really couldn’t afford to be out on their own. His strategy is to leave for Arizona when his boys have settled.

One of the other guys had just packed up his company and was having his car serviced as the last step before moving to Reno. The money his company was going to save in taxes and fees over the next year PAID for him to be able to pay for the relocation of his entire staff.

In yet another conversation, a guy was counting the days to retirement (90) then he & his wife were heading to New Mexico. They’d already sold their house and had packed up most everything which was sitting in a storage facility in NM. They were doing the minimalist thing until he retired.

His wife had been nice enough to her employer to let them know that she’d be leaving in 90 days… Of course the fuckers she worked for fired her because after all she wouldn’t be working as hard knowing that she’d be leaving… (To This I say WTF??? She could have trained her replacement and she wasn’t under any obligation to let her employer know shit! But courtesy is truly a thing from another age.)

The last guy was funny as hell because he too was heading to Arizona. He said it was as simple as the gas prices dropped 60 to 70 cents per gallon when he crossed the border out of California… He said that alone was enough to sell him on relocating. But then his wife got laid off and after searching for a job in her field for 9 months she’s decided to leave the kids & grandkids in CA and accepted a job in her field in Flagstaff. 

If the kids want to visit it’s not too crazy a drive for them, and It’s an easy drive for the guy and his wife too. When asked why drive? He replied; “Who wants to fly anymore? I know I don’t want the TSA feeling me or my wife up she might trade men in…”

The common thread is that all of these guys are middle aged, Middle to late career and they’ve had enough of the B.S. that is California.

Of course what this means is that if the trend continues… California will have a tourist industry ONLY and the dream that was once the Golden State will be just another tourist trap. 

Even the technology companies are leaving. Many of them are reducing their presence here to nothing more than small offices. They’re not even maintaining corporate headquarters here. It’s just too damn expensive…

All of this is to say, 

It’s nice to know I’m not insane or over-reacting as some people close to me have implied. 

I think I can move to another state following work in my field. After 15 years of patiently driving obscene distances I can finally and with a clear conscience put the Golden State in my Rear View Mirror

Dumbshit online Job placement agencies…

Searching for a job as I’ve chronicled isn’t easy. 

duncecap.jpg

I’m finding that it’s being made all the more difficult because of shitty headhunters.

This too I’ve written about in the past.

A new twist, One that has me completely baffled is this…

I’ve received email from a company called CyberCoders. (I refer to them as CyberSpammers… lest I digress), recently they’ve started sending me emails full of links from OTHER headhunter sites.

WTF?

So how does THAT work? If I apply to the position on the OTHER site does CyberSpammers try to horn in on the referral fee? Do both agencies fight over the fees and do I once again get left out in the cold?

Who the hell can tell?

 This simply reconfirms my opinion of head hunters and agencies. I’m going to do my level best to avoid them. 

I’m going to go back to the old fashioned method of job searching.

I’ll be buying a Newspaper, and using the referrals of friends thank you very much. 

I’m really looking for something that doesn’t require me to drive 70+ miles to and from work, if I’m doing that I might as well move.