Category: Fun

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It’s been a weird busy week.

Not that I’m complaining about it. 

The week has been a weird one. It’s the one year anniversary of Jerry’s death. I was feeling it a little, but nothing unexpected, and in a way, now that I’ve been through a whole year there’s a sense of relief.

Part of it is distance from him having died and part of it is that now that I’ve been through all the holidays and special days I’m somewhat relieved and confident about having survived. Oh sure I was a little melancholy and nostalgic…

I’m still standing.

Monday into Tuesday

I was struck by the memory that on those dates it was the beginning of the end. I’d seen him carried out the door to the hospital unconscious and unresponsive. Most of that memory was fear and intense worry coupled with trying to convince myself that everything was going to be okay.

Just a few days later he was dead.

Wednesday

Nothing much happened, I was cleaning and tossing but the day passed in a bit of a fog

Thursday,

Was the actual date… The day Jerry died. I spent with the dog, quietly. 

Friday

I was at the temple for service and that was nice. It was music Jerry arranged or had a particular fondness for. After the service, one of the congregants said they were still upset and a little angry that Jerry had passed on. They said, “You must still be feeling that way too.” 

“Oddly,” I explained, “I don’t. I still miss him terribly, but we had 34 years together. Most of those years were good ones. The years we had were more than many people get. Divorce, illness, accidents, all cut time spent with someone. That we found each other, loved, and endured for all that time was a gift. Of course I’d like to have more time but I’m thankful for what I got.”

The congregant nodded and said I had a good attitude. I suppose maybe I do.

Saturday 

I had a lot on fun and pretty much spent all day yesterday laughing my ass off. 

A long overdue get together with two men I’ve known for 44 years finally happened. We had a drink, in my case two… we wandered, talked, laughed, and enjoyed being together once again.

This get together should have been called the Fixed Income tour!  It was the first time that all three of us got together after having retired.

We met when we were starting out, I remember those first paychecks, waiting in line to buy gas, and wondering why so much of our puny paychecks was whittled away in taxes. 

What I didn’t know then was that these friends would in fact remain lifelong friends who cared, and for whom I cared, about all these years.

To be honest, a shit ton of people pass through our lives. Some of them you’re happy to see go, others you can’t hold onto, time and life pulls you apart, and the last and best category are friends that are constants like stars in the sky.

(Yes, I know stars aren’t forever… Shut it! Science brain. I’m waxing all poetical… The stars in the sky will outlast us and the planet!)

Yesterday  I managed to walk right past a couple of Pro-Palestein protestors with their flags and stupid slogans and not challenge them. My two friends were hanging back a bit as we passed, whether to help if I lost control and shot my mouth off, or to just laugh if shot my mouth off and started a riot, I’m not sure. Perhaps a bit of both…

When we were going to pass the protestor’s spot again I wished I had a lighter because I wondered if I could legally burn their flags. The question popped out of my head following the logic that you can burn an American flag with impunity so why not a foreign flag?

It appeared that the Palestinian protestors had gone home for the day, protesting and waving flags being such hard work. (Dudes, you didn’t have to go to the gym on arms day!)  I presume they were drowning their sorrows about Gaza with a lovely half caf double latte, a hot meal prepared by someone else, and a bong full of the latest variation of pot they’d procured. Their lives are, after all, soooo difficult. 

I was gratified to note that there were only two Palestinian flags and it didn’t look like a lot of people were paying attention to the protestors. Maybe as Americans tend to do, we’re just getting bored hearing about it. Seen any Ukraine flags lately?

I suggested at one point that perhaps the three of us could go on a stealing spree through all the high end stores at the Glendale Galleria in keeping with the times. There was some question about what exactly the cash limit was before it became a felony. Since all of us are planners and have expensive tastes we couldn’t come to consensus about what we could steal and how much. Next time though…

We’re gonna shock the world as the “Geriatric Three”. At our ages it would be the perfect capper to our lives. Mug Shots in our 60s! I wonder if the police are more afraid of arresting old guys than young guys? The young guys are more like brawlers in a school yard, lots of swinging but not much damage.

Old guys though, well, we’re JUST PLAIN MEAN! Next time I see one of the local sheriffs maybe I’ll ask.

I even noticed I was “Hunting” there were some interesting people at the mall and I wasn’t being too subtle about checking them out. It’s been a year, I could start dating again without it being unseemly. I noticed I was doing something I swore I’d never do, I was being a little chicken-hawkish. Some of the guys I was noticing were so young, mid 30s to early 40s. My god! They could easily be my kid!

They were safe… The only way I could’ve caught them was if I was riding on one of those mobility scooters you see old folks riding in the park. The eye candy was nice. I knew some of them were pretty to look at but wholly incompatible with me or any of my beliefs. Perhaps it’s just as well that time and age is slowing me down a bit.

The way my knee was acting up toward the end of the day, I’m probably going to be in the market for a good cane soon. When I got home last night I think the health app said I’d walked 7 miles yesterday. I know I’d walked 1.5 miles with the dog in the early morning before heading to Glendale but was surprised that the total had ended up so high.

My knee didn’t start really acting up until later in the day. I’d tweaked it again on Wednesday or Thursday and had to ice it.

All told yesterday, aside from being slow to start working after we’d been sitting for a while, it wasn’t too bad,  It’s probably a sign that I should increase my walking distance and start stretching a bit more to continue rebuilding strength in both knees. 

One of my friends described being at a Mall as something approximating Hell in his estimation. After seeing Duck-lipped women, men with painted fingernails wearing too short, “skinny jeans” as fashion statements, and too many languages to count he might have a point. 

I’m reminded that I’ve been fairly isolated, preferring to stick close to home. Some would say it’s a holdover from the COVID lockdowns, in truth, it started prior to COVID. I’d been living in San Diego and in close contact due to apartment dwelling, and I’d become super tired of people in general.

The point is, that because I’ve not been around a lot of folks I’m even more uncomfortable in crowds these days. Not that I’m a germaphobe but I’m mindful that my immune system hasn’t needed to be as active in recent years as it had in the past. Without being exposed to the filth of humanity daily, your immune system starts eating Bon Bons and doing its nails.

So I might end up with some stupid late winter cold, but being out in the world with my friends was totally worth it.

The next time we get together perhaps it should be here. We could cook out on the grill, listen to music, and laugh watching the sun track across the mountains, while listening to the sound of light breezes in the trees. Bonus, the dog would be happy with new people to annoy!

The dog is currently pissed at me. He was alone two consecutive nights and missed our ball time. Thankfully the temps have been very moderate but both nights the wind picked up before I got home. He hates the wind!  So last night he pointed the stinky end at me and slept at the foot of the bed.

I’m going to have to make it up to him. 

But that will have to wait until tomorrow. 

Today, Sunday, I’m going to lunch with one of Jerry’s friends and then I’m looking forward to resting a bit on Monday.

Then it’s back to sorting and tossing the accumulated crap. I’m still shooting for having the house on the market in spring. If something happens between now and then to change that desire, it will still be okay because I wont’ have a bunch of crap.

I hope everyone is in as good a space as I am. Uh OH, the Dog is looking for me. It’s time for me to get dressed and take him for a walk.

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I always wanted to attend Burning Man

Over the years I’ve had friends tell me about their experiences on the mesa.

Burning Man is one of those things that is very unlike me. I’m a control freak (more or less). I like order instead of chaos, and I’m not someone who indulges in recreational drugs.

My friends descriptions of the Burning Man festival paint descriptions of a beautiful chaos. Some of my friends said flatly they spent the festival naked, high, and having sex at random with other people who were just as naked, high, and out of control.

Yes, this would seem to be something that is 180° counter to my nature. Perhaps that’s why I’ve always found the idea of attending the festival attractive. I’ve always wondered what it would be like to just completely let go.

What would it feel like to shed all the conditioning of society and embrace the wildness for a few days? Could I even do that, or are my controls locked down so tight I can’t be wild as the wind? In my youth I could easily shed society’s rules, my clothes, and inhibitions, now, I’m not so sure I could.

The art pieces that get assembled are often spectacular, I’ve been told that the pictures don’t do them justice because you lose the scale of the piece. I’d imagine they’re really spectacular if you’re seriously fucked up!

I’ve never been able to attend. In my 30s and 40s it was always about working and no matter how many months in advance I asked for vacation time, it was always denied.

I was shocked and surprised, while working at a military contracting company, when I asked for a week of vacation and it was granted.

That was literally the first time and perhaps the only time in my 40+ years of employment when I was granted my earned vacation time with no hassle or questions asked. I scrambled to secure all the reservations after the vacation approval. Since I’d always had vacation requests denied, I hadn’t pre-reserved my spot because some of the reservation was non-refundable.

I was leaving the country, so I had to notify the security folks. They were nice, they educated me about clearances and leaving the country. They hooked me up with a training class with about 20 other folks. Then off I went. Scuba Diving in a foreign country. It was great fun!

I think the military contractor might have raised their eyebrows if I’d gone to Burning Man. But probably not too much, as long as I didn’t come back to work on Tuesday morning still loaded.

Burning Man has always seemed to me to be an opportunity to step into a Mad Max movie. Generally speaking that’s not something I’d do without being heavily armed. Burning Man might be thought of as Mad Max without the gunfire.

One friend suggested that with my skin type, I’d probably need to build a suit out of a space blanket, or perhaps a still-suit from Dune. He laughingly said that he didn’t think there was enough sunscreen on the planet to protect me from being fried. He did point out that the space blanket suit could be a sellable item, or at least a great art piece.

This led me to rethink going to Burning Man. After all it’s the art piece that is supposed to burn, not the overly fair skinned attendees.

I thought perhaps I could enjoy the festival by adopting a Vampire schedule. But being in a tent on a desert mesa trying to sleep during the day would be problematic.

If I had to run around all day long in a reflective encounter suit like I was on another planet, and couldn’t enjoy dancing naked in the sun with the other festival goers then what was the point?

I briefly considered going to Burning Man this year.

2023 has been a rough year and mentally checking out for four or five days sounded attractive. There wasn’t enough time and a few too many moving pieces to allow me to go, once I thought of it.

How much SPF Ten Billion could I lay my hands on, was one hurdle. I’ve seen photos of people dressed literally in mud. That would work as long as the mud wasn’t flaking off every 2 minutes.

As luck would have it, had I gone this year I’d have had an abundance of mud. I just read there were 73,000 campers are stranded on the mesa due to heavy rain that has turned the desert into mud. Apparently officials are telling campers to conserve food and water because it’s going to take some time for the area to be dry enough to be navigable.

I’m glad I didn’t go.

It’s one thing to tic something off your bucket list and have fun doing it. It’s quite another to want to tick something off the bucket list and be totally miserable doing it.

Besides I’d have been alone, and I’d have had muddy equipment, a muddy me, and a muddy dog to pack into my muddy vehicle. I’d have “Burning Man Mud” in my vehicle forever.

Experiences are supposed to change and enhance you. But I don’t want to be reminded of an experience, (good or bad) every time I drive somewhere.

Maybe next year…

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Young dogs…

This dog is more of a clown than any dog I’ve ever had. That’s saying something.

All of my dogs have had personalities, for better or worse they’ve been individuals and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

This guy seems to have gone through the personality line twice when he was being built.

In this picture he was trying to hide from me. (Leash notwithstanding.) He was playing, “I’m going to hide and then jump out of the bushes and throw snow all over you.”

He’d gone behind the bush in the foreground and crouched, just as I got the camera ready he saw something across the wash so the picture caught him standing instead of in his goofy, “I’m hiding and you can’t see me crouch.“

At least he picked the right color bush to hide behind.

This dog loves the snow and cold more so than any other dog I’ve had. It can’t be too cold and the snow can’t be too high for him to be happy.

When he’s finally tired from the day’s goofiness then you get the other side of him.

The next photo is him realizing that I’ve just come from the kitchen. In his world this means that I must’ve made something for him. “Uh, no pup, I was stirring the soup but it’s not ready yet.”

This is the “I’m too cool for school look.“

A.K.A. Where is the food man?

He’s also taken to talking to me. He does these weird vocals that crack me up. There’s one in particular that means. “Dad. You’ve been looking at the computer too long, it’s time for us to go out and play.“

There is a lot of play and a lot of walks too.

Then at the end of the day, after the dinner plates have been cleared and the sun is setting there’s this. It’s not dignified but he seems comfortable. Although it does limit the use of the couch.

Other dogs were not allowed on the furniture, (unless my back was turned). With this guy, I realized I was fighting a losing battle and now I vacuum the floors and the furniture as part of the daily cleaning ritual.

This picture was taken after we’d been on a walk on a rainy day. Thank goodness he was dry by the time he’d moved to this nap position.

He’s been with me just over a year. He’s becoming a nice dog to have around. On our daily walks he’s alert and curious. More than once over the year he’s stopped on a trail, sniffed the air, then turned 180 and took us back the way we came.

I can only assume that he smelled something that he didn’t want any part of.

The next day, we’ll go through the same area and he doesn’t twitch at all.

He still hasn’t figured out the size difference between himself and deer. If we encounter a deer, hold on to your socks! It’s going to be a wild run/drag through the undergrowth and trees until the deer loses us.

Then he looks at me like it’s my fault the deer is gone. (He’s not wrong.) He is fast enough he could probably catch a deer if he wasn’t dragging my fat butt behind him. I have no idea what he’d do then, I seriously doubt he has a clue either.

The funniest thing he’s done, is stopping in front of a neighbor’s house whose Christmas decorations include a realistic looking plastic deer and fawn. He went on point and then was confused that the deer didn’t run. Then he started barking his fool head off at the plastic deer.

I was laughing so hard I was crying. The owner of the house came out to see what the ruckus was. He took the situation in, and busts up laughing. His wife came out to see what was going on and she busted up too.

Eventually the owner waved us up onto the lawn so my dog could sniff the deer and understand they weren’t real. All three of us were wiping tears of laughter from our faces watching the dog cautiously approach then jump away.

Finally he sniffs the plastic then looks at us with a WTF? look.

It was a nice way to meet the neighbors.

I also found that the guy has a wicked sense of humor.

He’s moving the deer around his yard and watching my dog stop to analyze the situation.

You can almost see the wheels turning in his head, “They’re not real, they smell like plastic, why do they keep moving?“

In the end, we come home and the dog sleeps on the matter.

It’s the simple things in life that bring the most joy…

I hope your Christmas season has a lot of joyous little moments and that you have the time to appreciate them.

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I read a new term today that cracked me up.

The term was Covidians

As in religious practitioners.

Immediately I visualized scores of people in robes singing praises to the grand protectors.

Blessed be the Mask.
Blessed be the Harmony of Social Distancing.
Blessed be the co-mingling of the vaccine with our blood.
Blessed be the lack of heretics for what is once done is forever done. All hail the jab!

All of this being done under stained glass widow showing an angelic Dr. Fauci haloed and masked. Perhaps with crossed syringes behind him. On the right, would be the holy first shot and on the left the holy booster.

Of course, no religion would be complete without curses.

Cursed be the unvaxxed, for they shall inherit death.
Cursed be the deniers, for they are minions of the evil one, he of orange hue and wicked tongue.
Cursed be purveyors of treatments, for they seek to undo the will of the almighty COVID, without the blessings of the holy jab.
Cursed be those who will not mask, for they shall breathe naught but the unclean air and pestilence.
Cursed be the pagan ones who dance in the sunlight and bathe in the sea for they wallow in filth.

As I was picturing this insanity I realized that I was pulling some of the imagery from the movie Ultraviolet.

As movies go, it was a bit weak on the plot. The visuals were impressive and in the end, the badguy did get his just deserts. So there was a certain satisfaction in that.

Ironically, the bad guy in the movie bears a slight resemblance to St. Fauci of the Mask, only a few years younger.

I was flashing on all of this and completely forgot what the article was about.

But… It started my day with a weird bit of silliness and a smile.

I hope you have some silliness that makes you smile in the weekend ahead.

I’m thinking I’ll fire up the DVD player and see if I can dig out my copy of the movie just for the hell of it.

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In honor of Thanksgiving…

I’m watching Addam’s Family Values.

It’s a fun romp.

I may revert to the annual tradition of the Alien Movies, or perhaps the 1950 and 1960 movies about invasions or space travel.

The movie selection is confusing I know…

The tradition of watching Alien on Thanksgiving dates back many years to happy Turkey Meals, good drinks, and Black Friday shopping with one of my oldest and dearest friends. (Let me tell you… HE’S OLD!)

It wasn’t intentional, it just so happened that we’d put on a movie from the Alien franchise drink, eat chips and dip and wait for the Turkey to be ready. As the Alien Franchise expanded we simply started with Alien earlier in the day. And so a tradition was born.

This year I need a little humor.

Addams Family Values has a great scene depicting a play about the First Thanksgiving. In the scene, a pretty rich girl is pitted against Wednesday Addams. Hilarity ensues from there.

I think that we all could use a large dose irreverent humor these days.

I know I’m already looking forward to having a drink, and watching all the familiar tropes of Summer Camp, Political Correctness, rich versus poor, and inclusion being put through a blender.

What comes out is just good fun.

Especially when you consider that the Addams Family wealth eclipses all of the nouveau rich depicted in the film. Then consider that Wednesday, comes down on the side of the outcasts and leads them to a “win” in a signature Addams Family way.

I personally find the camp scene more satisfying than The scene in Logans Run where Farrah Fawcet has her face blown off by the automated surgery robot.

Don’t get me wrong, I had nothing against Farrah, she was beautiful.

But there’s just something about her getting what’s coming to her after betraying Logan that is viscerally satisfying. I suppose that satisfaction is due in part to the fact that all too often those who really deserve a bit of Karma don’t get it.

I hope you all have a great Turkey Day and take some time to just take a breath, relax and enjoy something completely escapist.