Category: Family

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You Know… I’m too easily distracted.

But then I get pissy because my distractibility leads me to doing stuff that isn’t actually forwarding my goals.

My God Son indirectly pointed this out to me. 

He asked how the book was going and was genuinely interested.

The book is moving forward. It’s just that it’s moving too slowly for my expectations. BUT THAT’S Nobodys fault but mine.

I have to learn to be more even tempered… at my ancient age you’d think I’d have this stuff down pat but I don’t 

I’m stressing internally about a lot of things. I want to finish the book, I need to find a new job and if I find a new job out of state… I’ll be forced to make a decision between a long relationship and being able to support not only myself but others as well.

However, that too is something that isn’t reason enough to get pissy.

Again, the people that care about me and love me shouldn’t have to put up with me being an asshole.

What reason do they have to love me at all if all they ever get from me is snottiness because I’m all wrapped up in my shit?

I really have to get my shit right and remember that the people who love me must always have a special place in my head and my heart that is free of external B.S. They should always know that I care very much about them, and the only way I can make sure of that is to make sure is to show them.

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Something that I’ve noticed lately

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Occasionally, I’ll wander through adult ads.

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What I’m looking for is people with a similar mindset to my own, for friendship.

There are a LOT of flaky fuckers out there! To most of you, that probably comes as no surprise.

One of the things that has recently struck me as weird is how many ads apologize for specifying a racial preference.

OK, ok…  some of the ads I peruse are FWB (friends with benefits) in nature. Hey some of the kinky stuff people are into is amazing! I wouldn’t mind someone that I could hang out with and have some more intimate fun with.

I’ve noticed this growing trend to say something like;

“I’m a white person looking for other white people. I’m not into black, asian, or hispanic, sorry that’s just my preference.“

I’m frankly confused by this apparent need to apologize for stating a preference.

I personally am not attracted to fat white people, or people with poor hygiene, or people with heavy tattoo work. I make no apologies for that. I’m also not attracted sexually to black people and it’s a very rare asian or hispanic person that I even entertain a vague sexual thought about.

SO What?

Just because we’re forced to live in a kumbaya “We have to love everyone, and everyone should feel good about themselves” mediocre country, doesn’t mean that I have to share my friendship… or my bed with everyone.

When I talk about being someones friend it’s not in the fair weather sense.

I’m not particularly needy I can be quite content on my own. That doesn’t negate the fact that I’m a social animal and would appreciate the companionship.

I want to build my circle of friends. I can be a very good friend, you know… the kind of person that you can call at 3 am to pick your drunken ass up at a coffee shop or some chicks house when things went badly.

I expect the same kind of reliability of those that I call my friend too. 

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When it comes to sex… I try my personal best to never be mediocre about it!

There is absolutely nothing wrong with stating your racial preferences right up front. It saves everyone time, prevents misunderstandings, and potentially hurt feelings.

This is not being a racist!

How the hell are you going to perform in bed with someone that you’re not the least bit attracted to?

I suppose if I were an Escort or prostitute I wouldn’t have any ground to stand on. Mainly because I’d be in love with the Green color of Money!

But in my personal sex life I can afford to be picky.

So lets all grow up and stop apologizing for shit that you can’t change and accept that all of us have likes and dislikes and there’s nothing wrong with that.

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That unhealthy glow

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I’m a dumbshit! I totally admit it. Laugh all you want, I can take it.

Yesterday the sun was warm and the sky was blue, there was a gentle breeze and I thought;

“It’s a perfect day to spend a little time on the deck.”

So I took my glass of water, my Kindle, and my fat ass outside, without a shirt, and settled in a lounge chair.

I was only outside a little while… OK 40 minutes and my chest and belly are sunburned to beat the band.

I know better!

I never do shit like that without sunscreen on. 

So guys… learn from my stupidity, watch yourselves and your kids in the sun.

With the upcoming 4th of July celebrations we’re all going to be outside a bit more. 

Be a good example to your family, apply sunscreen with them  not just to them.

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I’m batting 1000 today.

As I was wandering through a social web site today I was struck by a few lines in an online profile.

The profile owner specifically says

“If you meet any of the following criteria don’t bother to contact me.”

The list was 6 or 7 items long and dealt with things like dugs, alcohol, disease, and phenotype.

The lines that leapt off the screen at me were these;
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“If you drive a BMW or Mercedes Benz or SUV” or “If your’e a Republican”

This gave me pause.

Perhaps it’s because I have an SUV parked in the drive and a BMW in the garage. Perhaps because while I disagree with the Republican stance and agenda with every fiber of my being… I’m still at heart a Republican leaning towards Libertarian.
2012 lamborghini aventado 14 460x0wThen I thought “WOW” this person is restricting their social interactions to ONLY like minded individuals and on the one hand saying how Kumbaya, progressive, and inclusive they are WHILE they’re judging other people on the basis of ephemeral things like the car they drive or the dysfunctional political party that they belong to.

I almost sent a message asking “What’s up with that?” but I refrained.

I must admit that I too judge people, in fact everyone does. 

For instance it’s unlikely that I’m going to hang out with a bunch or 18 year olds. I’m going to make that choice because I know that I don’t have a lot in common with them. 

It’s nothing personal it’s just that my values & experience are so radically different that we’re not going to have a lot to talk about.

I suppose that this profile owner is saying something similar and it’s their prerogative.

My mind though, goes to the absurd.

Is the owner of the profile saying that Democrats who own Ferraris or Maserati, or Lamborghinis ARE acceptable? And if that is what they intended to say doesn’t that imply that the profile owner CAN in fact overlook their contempt for affluence and hard work if the trappings of that affluence have an estimated value of over $100,000?
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After due consideration I’ve decided to modify my profile to read.

“Don’t contact me if you own a Kia, or Scion. I, in general find drivers of these vehicles to be poor drivers and have no desire to know anything about them.”

“If you’re a member of ANY religious organization don’t contact me. Religion is a poisonous, hate filled abomination and I’ve decided to eradicate it from my personal world view.”
ScionFRs“If you make less than 50K a year I’m also not at all interested. Contact me when you’ve gotten to 100K and I’ll re-evaluate you… Oh and I’ll need to see your W-2 or paystub.”

That should cull the riff-raff!

Of course, I’m likely to be going to the movies alone, But it’s worth it so that I don’t have to be bothered with “undesirables”.

The owner of the profile I’m referencing, often states that they’re lonely…

I wonder WHY?

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Will be gone all day today

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Figured that I better get a blog entry prepped.

I’m going to visit a friend. I SOOO need to get away if only for a few hours.

I’m dealing with a bit of cabin fever. With the price of gas as high as it is, I’ve not been going too many places. I’ve certainly not been spending any gas that I didn’t need to.

On the one hand, I’ve been saving money. On the other hand… I’m going stir crazy in isolation.

The subtle signs are that when I actually do go somewhere I’m grinning the whole way there and back. It doesn’ matter if I’ve got the top of the car up or down, It’s freedom! It’s a new view and I’m stimulated by it. Another sign is that I’ve bought some music that would make great driving / traveling music.

The Chromatics is the latest acquisition. Yeah… gotta drive playing their music.

I’ve packed my camera, and a few other items in case I see something that’s photo-worthy.

Changed a bunch of Lightbulbs yesterday to the new LED lights. In the process I busted an insert in the fixture. I’m taking that along with me in case I see a Home Depot or Lowes and feel like stopping.

The problem is cabin fever is that to a point you’re productive and take care of little projects. But beyond that point you slip down the slope to depression and you just don’t give a damn about much of anything. The shit will STILL be there tomorrow and if it’s gets moved today, tomorrow, or next week it really doesn’t matter.

The problem is that feeling like that feeds further depression and then it starts coloring all kinds of things in your life. Within a short time the cycle is feeding on itself and growing worse.

Today is going to be a mental health day. New view, good conversation, & probably a good drink or two. I think it will be good to talk with my friend I’ve gotten the impression that he’s in a similar headspace. If true then we may be able to help each other out and give each other direction as only interaction with someone you know well can.