I saw this little jewel on TOWLEROAD a while back

I’ve let this one steep a while since I wasn’t really sure that I wanted to be quite this out there. But I’m thinking aww what the hell?

I’ve gotta file this one under the WTF category…

Friend of Norwegian Mass Murderer Anders Behring Breivik Thought He Was Gay, Closeted

Read more: TOWLEROAD

I have to ask what does this guys sexuality have to do with the fact that he’s on trial for killing 77 people?

This guy has confessed to committing the murders but claims that he did so to protect his beloved homeland and culture.

The piece also comments on the fact that Breivik had a nose job “so he could have a more “Aryan” nose”. So what?

I’m not sure what the attorneys in Norway are trying to prove.

Breivik, had he been the leader of a revolution that won… would be described as a liberator and hero to his people for protecting the purity of Norwegian culture.

However since Breivik was acting alone he’s perceived as a nutcase and murderer. Now it looks as if the Norwegian court is trying to marginalize the crime and his stated reasons for committing it by painting him as a vain, closeted homosexual who acted out.

This suggests to me that perhaps Norwegian society isn’t ready to consider that they may have a larger problem…

They’re hoping that the Breivik case is a “one-off“.  Perhaps it is.

Images

But what if it’s not?

Lets look at this another way…

What kind of social pressure, cultural change, and abuse does it take for a vain, closeted homosexual to make, plant and detonate a bomb, or pick up a rifle and start shooting people?

The Norwegians had a bit of civil unrest several years ago because one of their cartoonists drew a picture. That picture while protected under Norwegian free speech rights still had to be apologized for. The artist still had to flee his home. The Norwegian government, instead of expelling those who sought to deny the artist his rights made concessions to a radical minority.

The imposition of foreign cultural taboos on a society will inevitably result in unrest. 

Vivid examples include Palastine, and Iran.

The Shah of Iran was deposed at least in part because his policies were too progressive, and  too Western. Apparently the religious infrastructure of the country perceiving a threat to their tradition, power and culture incited a coup. The ruling government then exiled all foreigners, nationalized all the resources and descended into an almost isolationist (from the West except for oil sales) period.

The Palestinians resented in 1947 and do to this day control being imposed on them by the West in the creation of the State of Israel.

I’m not suggesting that Breivik was in any way correct in what he did.

What I’m saying is that perhaps Norway should look more carefully at it’s rising nationalism and the factors that are contributing to it.

Otherwise the next  Breivik will organize an insurgent movement. Such a movement could easily be aimed at focusing Norways’ rising nationalism against the Norwegian government and all people that are perceived as a threat to Norwegian cultural values.

Last night, I lost another two hours practicing

Who knew you could lose yourself in practicing? When I tried Piano… I couldn’t sit still for more than 10 minutes and I like piano. I hated the teacher though… God she was an unpleasant person.

Last night, I just lost track of time while I was just working on simple stuff at the beginning of the primer.

I’m not even to the level of sucking yet, but I’m having a damn good time practicing the guitar. 

My finger tips hurt and I don’t mind. 

I’ve even been able to play 8 notes of Ode To Joy in a recognizable way. (Told you I wasn’t yet to the level of sucking) But damn! I’m enjoying myself.

If I’m enjoying myself half as much in a month I’m going to be a happy guy.

I’m still working the chords and when I’ve had enough of that I’m trying to pick out the notes of some of the more recognizable songs in the primer.

Yeah it’s not the “Traditional” way of learning music but each day the chords sound better and the notes ring clearer… Even if it sounds like I’m a 78 record being played at 33 1/3.

There are a whole bunch of young folks out there who are saying what??

For those of us that know what I’m talking about… You get the picture.

I’m not close enough to Geddy Lee or The Edge to even breathe a single molecule of the same air.

But someday before I die I’m hoping that I can play some music on my beauty that actually sounds like music.

Only time and practice will tell.

In the mean time… I’m having a good time and well the guitar doesn’t seem to mind.

I guess there’s some truth to you’re never too old to try something new.

Mid LIfe Crisis

IMAG0229 Yeah I’ve reached that age…

You know, that point where you think about some of the things that you wish you’d done but never seemed to have the time to do. In reality these are the things that you just never felt you could let yourself do or make the time for.

Lately I’ve been experiencing little flashes of insight about some of the things I never let myself do, or was too self conscious to try.

As I’ve gotten older, fatter, and sassier, I’m starting to loose some of those inhibitions.

One thing I’ve always wanted to do was know how to play a musical instrument. I can noodle out some simple pieces on a piano, hell I even gave trumpet a half-assed try. You know what held me back? Embarrassment that I couldn’t play the instrument perfectly after a few tries at a piece.

My folks tried to tell me that practice was what I had to do, but there was always this fear in the back of my mind that someone was listening and they were suffering from my attempts at music.

Well in the immortal words of Janis Joplin “Fuck That SHIT!”

I live with a classically trained professional musician and have for 23 years. I’ve heard the endless practicing and the swearing at not getting something quite right.

We were talking about something obliquely musically related and I said what I’d come to believe for most of my life ” Well I can’t carry a tune in a bucket” and he said “You’re wrong about that, I’ve heard you singing.”

I was mortified. I don’t sing unless I’m damn sure no-one can hear me.

I guess somewhere in the 23 years when I was singing… I wasn’t quite as alone as thought. Or I’d been singing to something on the radio without realizing it.

So there I was all embarrassed because… well… he’s a professional and my screeching must have set his teeth on edge.

Then he goes on to say, that my analysis of “Wailin Willie” in Grand Junction, CO was essentially right on. Willie was pushing his voice way too hard and was singing out of his range. Willie was attempting to cover these facts by turning the amp on his guitar up and inflicting sonic damage on everyone in the room so that hopefully they wouldn’t notice how truly bad Wailin Willies singing was.

Then he said that my singing in addition to being well within my range, was also in the right key and actually followed the melody line of what I was hearing, for example a song on the radio. He told me that I couldn’t do that if I was tone deaf and that I most certainly could carry a tune.

Now here’s where the midlife crisis come into play.

I’ve always loved guitars, and I’ve always wished I could play one.

I’ve loved Fender Guitars. The look, the sound, and well everything about them. Gibsons are cool too, but something about the Fender has always visually and acoustically appealed to me more than Gibsons.

So I came out of the closet and said “Lets go tour the Fender factory” late Monday evening.  Tuesday Morning, we were walking through Fender in Corona and I was loving it.

After the tour, we wandered through the Fender Museum and I was having a ball. I think I did 4 loops around the museum.

Again I wished I could pick up one of these beautiful instruments like some of the youngsters present were doing and just play them.

After we left the Fender plant, we stopped by Sam Ash to pick up some music for a gig he’s playing later in the year, and I wandered into the guitar room. I didn’t see anything that was really impressive and frankly Sam Ash doesn’t do a very good job of displaying their guitars. So I wandered back to the sheet music and a beginning guitar book caught my eye. It was cool because I showed TAB and then later begins presenting TAB and standard musical notation. I was standing there reading this book and thought, “Hey, I could do this

We leave Sam Ash, empty handed.

“Hey could we stop by Guitar Center? They’ve got a chromatic tuner I’ve been wanting to take a look at.” “Sure, we’re going right by the place and we’ve got nowhere else to be until this evening.”

We walk in to Guitar Center. It’s chaos… we find the tuner and he plays with it for a while. I’m walking around the store and looking at some of the Guitars.

I notice a few Fenders, there’s a few keyboards, some drums and an assortment of other stuff scattered around. I glance through a window to one of the sound rooms. There are stacks of Amps, and some guitars hanging on the wall. Most of all when the door to the room closes it’s quiet! It’s cool and there’s a stool so I have a seat and enjoy the silence.

This is a great place to escape the chaotic drummers, and insanely loud grunge guitar playing of the proteges of the Goth, Emo crowd.

Then I look up, and well It was a kind of magic…

Hanging there is the most beautiful guitar I’ve ever laid eyes on. I take it off the rack and it feels good in my hands. I strum the strings and can tell the low E is a bit out of tune with the rest of the strings but I don’t know if the low E is right and the rest are wrong or if ti’s the other way around.

Then I look at the price. Whew! Out of my range… I hang the beauty up and leave the room for the chaos of the main floor.

I find another handsome Fender from their Modern Player line that’s more around my price range. As I’m looking at it I notice two things. 1) this one is made in China, 2) The fit & finish isn’t quite up to what I’d expect.

In fact it was the roughness that caught my attention and made me look at the serial number. Yep, a CN prefix and the words “Crafted in China” on the back of the head stock. But it’s a Fender, it’s not as polished as I’ve seen or expect it’s also only $600.

I look at a few more Fenders, One from Mexico, Fender has an Ensenada plant. One from the US, Manufactured in Corona, CA. Which leads me back to the beauty in the amp room.

Yep, US prefix, She was made in Corona. The pickups are the standard production units, not the hand wound artistry of Abigail Ybarra, but this beauty is all Fender, all US and I’d just seen the factory she was made in.

As an aside Mrs. Ybarra is one of the sweetest people and she’s totally famous for hand winding the pickups for some, if not all of the biggest names in rock & roll.

I hate to hang the beauty back on the rack. She’s somehow crawled under my skin. I know I’m insane, I can’t play the thing. You don’t buy a work of art like that and not play it…

We leave empty handed, from the second store. We’re going to a Celtic music concert at the Redlands Bowl so it’s time to bail or we’re not going to make it.

Next day, after an interview that was annoying for a number of reasons… I ask “Do you think I could learn to play a guitar?” The answer surprises me “Yes.. I think you could and you’d probably enjoy yourself.”

So after some hemming and hawing, soul searching and acknowledgement that I am out of my fucking mind, we head back to Sam Ash and really look at the beginner books.

Having a musician with you when you’re trying to figure out if a primer is a good one or a bad one is a really nice ace to have in your pocket. We pick up two primers and the music he was looking for the day before.

We head to Guitar Center, I looked at the lower priced alternatives. I tried to see the merit in purchasing one of them. But none of them felt like they had the soul of the beauty in the amp room. Even another Fender hanging right there with a heftier price tag didn’t “feel” right.

IMAG0235

Sooooooo.

Here’s my newest obsession.

The Beauty in the amp room is my beauty now. She’s a Fender Stratocaster… I’m using a borrowed amp. If it’s quiet here in the house I don’t really need the amp, but hearing the fullness of tone and the clear ringing tones is a serious treat.

I’m learning the basics, I’m doing it for no-one but me. While I was practicing this afternoon with the amp on, I wasn’t embarrassed when I screwed up a chord. Even my screwups can’t really make beauty sound bad.

I now know what playing till your fingers bleed can mean. (I’m not there yet but my hand stopped working today after about an hour of chord work.)

I anticipate that the chord work will continue for quite some time. I’ve got to improve the fine motor control, strength, and proprioception in my left hand. These things will take time. This is the last hobby for me for a while. I can get up at 6 every morning and be busy all day. When I start working a real job again, I’m not sure how I’m going to keep up with the interests I have right now.

I’ve decided though I’m going to pursue the things that enrich my life and put a smile on my face.

It’s good not to be embarrassed.  

The Tonys

Neil patrick harris

As a rule I don’t watch award shows.

Last night I noticed that Neal Patrick Harris was hosting and figured I’d tune in briefly to see him. 

I’m impressed with his talent. I had no idea that he could sing & dance. His performance kept me interested enough that I wanted to see more… of him. So I did watch the Tonys on fast scan.

Thankfully I’d managed to buffer about an hour of the show while watching the season opener of True Blood.  Had it not been for my ability to skip the emotionally draining tearful thank you speeches and endless commercials I couldn’t have made it through the whole program. 

I kept skipping to Neal and enjoyed him thoroughly. I even managed to make it to Trey Parker and Matt Stone taking the stage after having to go “real time” on the DVR.

Don’t get me wrong. I actually like going to the theater, I wish I had more money and time to do so. I’d especially like to go to NY and actually take in a Broadway show on Broadway.

I just can’t stand award shows or award ceremonies of any kind. I think most of them are pretentious and frankly even non-entertainment awards aren’t about who’s best, they’re about who’s kissing the asses of the people giving out the awards.

On the other hand I’ll probably be watching for Neil Patrick Harris on other award shows and tune in… Even if it is only to fast scan to Neils’ parts.

Always Been a fan of the movie Dogma

51hDRCYEF0L

If you haven’t seen the movie it’s well worth your time.

There are a lot of pious religious folks that really hated the movie because they didn’t like it’s portrayal of the church, angels, and it’s generally irreverent take on God.

Personally, I suspect that God was sitting in the audience laughing right along with the rest of us.

I bring this whole thing up because I’ve been really ill with a cold / sinus / allergy? thing for going on 7 days. God created the world in 7 days… I’m done with feeling lousy!

As I was sitting in my favorite chair last night flipping aimlessly through TV channels all I could think was “When is this going to end?”

Which led me to Alan Rickmans line “It never ends” as he’s wiping the blood off his jacket with the hem of Gods clothes.

Strange what you think about at 3 am when you realize that your body is putting up a good fight. In the process the bug that you’ve caught is finding all new ways to inflict pain. Then you realize that  the bug in question hasn’t any clue whatsoever that it’s making you want to stick you head in a microwave.

Who knew that your teeth could hurt in such exquisite ways. Not a toothache per-se but a whole palate of pain that would make what Dustin Hoffman endured in the movie “Marathon Man” seem like Sunday at the park with Ice cream.

Much later last night, I noticed that every time there was a breeze through the house or indeed if I moved the comforter on the bed I’d start coughing violently. This led me to ask why?

I’d noticed a lot more pollen than usual in the air over the past few days. I started wondering if part of the problem was that there was so much pollen my body was simply trying to expel yet more foreign bodies.

When I say pollen… I mean that everything that can bloom is blooming. There are clouds of the stuff so thick at times it looks like dust storm. Everything in the house is covered with a pale yellow dust.

You want to talk sick??? Think of the pollen this way it’s cum!

Yeah you read that right it’s plant spooge, and you’re breathing it, eating it, and you can’t get away from it. Makes what you do in the bedroom seem pretty tame don’t if?

Don’t even try to tell me you don’t swallow!

LCARS

At this point I was actually thinking about sleeping in the back seat of my car.  I could even program it to fire up the fans and suck filtered air into the cabin  ever 4 hours.

It’s been in the garage for the past week. Sealed like a space capsule, all the cabin filters in place. A beautiful leather clad oasis of clean air oh my!

Sleeping in the car was looking better and better. The space craft metaphor is strangely true in the case of that car.. There are times when I expect to hear Majel Barrett Roddenberrys’ voice saying something like “Warning you’ve entered a personal hazard zone.” As I drive through Southern California.

Ok yeah it’s weird.

Tell me you’ll do better after the 6th consecutive night of getting 2 hours of sleep and coughing so hard your’e tasting blood then wondering if your lungs are coming up next. I double dog dare you!

As the morning light dispelled the insanity of the witching hours a simple plan began to gather like the light in the East.

It dawned on me that an experiment to find out if it’s the pollen or if I have a cold would be to close the house, (limiting the introduction of more pollen) and turn on the A/C.

The recycled air is filtered albeit not well, but limiting the introduction of additional pollen might go a long way toward removing the irritants. Much as I hate to have the A/C on this early in the year I figure I can run the experiment for 48 hours and see what happens.

Which leads me back to “Dogma”

There’s a scene where one of the demons says No pleasure, no rapture, no exquisite sin greater… than central air.

So here I sit having a cup of coffee house darkened by drawn shades the sexual sinning hum of the A/C compressor occasionally heard from outside. And You know what? I’m not coughing as much. The real test will be tonight when I try to get some sleep.

Meanwhile the Dogs are more than happy with the A/C being on. They’re snoring loudly on their beds.

Now you’ve been through part of the rabbit hole that is my brain.

I hope you’ve incurred no permanent damage.

 

Here’s a bonus question… The control panel shown above, what fictional species does it belong to?

—– Update —–

Running the A/C & keeping the house closed seem to have helped. I also got a whole 6 hours of sleep. It was restless sleep but sleep nonetheless.

2012 BMW i8 Concept SpyderI haven’t braved the big bad world outside yet today. According to the weather reports it’s supposed to get windy in the valleys starting today so I’m guessing we may see the wind pick up a little bit here. More blowing pollen oh joy…

Part of the restless sleep was that I kept dreaming about driving through Germany after having picked one of these babies up in Leipzig . If you’re going to have restless dreams you should at least make them worthwhile.

This is the BMW i8. I know I’ll never be able to afford one even if it makes it out of the concept stage. I can dream though can’t I?