Category: Stupid People

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Wheee! Here we go!

California has jumped into the fray trying to remove Donald Trump from the ballot.

The Lieutenant Governor Eleni Kounalakis has written a letter to the Secretary of State asking that every legal option be explored to remove Donald Trump from the ballot.

Totally expected!

What caught my attention was this;

“The constitution is clear: you must be 40 years old and not be an insurrectionist,” Kounalakis wrote in the letter.

The problem with that statement leapt out at me from my memory of my High School American history class.

The Constitution is indeed very clear.

Article II, Section 1, Clause 5:

No Person except a natural born Citizen, or a Citizen of the United States, at the time of the Adoption of this Constitution, shall be eligible to the Office of President; neither shall any Person be eligible to that Office who shall not have attained to the Age of thirty five Years, and been fourteen Years a Resident within the United States.

It took me less than a minute to pull up the passage. Turns out I was wrong. I thought the minimum age was Thirty Six, not Thirty Five. I throw myself on my readers mercy for being a year off. It’s been 45 years since I was in school. Some data degradation in subjects not commonly used may have occurred.

That being said, I’m also not a politician, lawyer, or Lieutenant Governor of California. It concerns me when someone who is a career politician makes fundamental mistakes that I, with my High School history education from a flyover state, say, What????

I know, I know, people make mistakes. Jamal Bowman made a mistake pulling the fire alarm in the capital. Uh huh, right…

More concerning is that these supposedly well educated, politicians who misquote The Constitution. apparently have never actually read The Constitution or understood what they read.

Far be it for a hayseed redneck like myself to teach them anything. But here’s a hint. Get a real dictionary. You know, one of those big assed unabridged heavy books. Then get yourself a printed copy of The Constitution and the amendments. Not a summary, not a cliff notes version, you’ll need the whole thing.

Now, open the dictionary and look up every single word of The Constitution. Using the dictionary skills you were supposed to have obtained in Elementary School, Junior High School, High School, or College, read the definition for each word, including the older definitions of the word. Then you’ll have a shot at understanding The Constitution.

If your unabridged dictionary has dated definitions, then you can use the definitions that were contemporaneous with common speech at the time The Constitution was written.

The reason it’s important to read The Constitution being mindful of the meanings of the words in their temporal context is easily illustrated thus.

Faggots shall be allowed in small numbers within domiciles and public spaces but shall not be congregated in great numbers near fireplaces, or forges.

That sentence isn’t talking about homosexual men being allowed in homes in small numbers. The sentence is talking about bundles of sticks being stored so as not to be a fire hazard.

A hayseed like me shouldn’t have to tell you educated elites this. But you’ve demonstrated time and again that you apparently missed something in school.

Almost daily, I am thankful for my flyover state education.

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Hey you Colorado Folks, you no longer have the burden of voting!

You’re Welcome!!!!

Now you don’t have to read any pesky voter pamphlets. You don’t have to agonize over your vote, or who’s running for whatever office.

You’re free of the burden of responsibility.

From here on out you’ll never risk being like Florida when it comes to counting votes. In fact, the approved candidate will “Win” Colorado within minutes of the polls opening. 

If you’re only allowed to vote for one candidate it greatly simplifies things doesn’t it?

You’re all such “Good Little communists” you’ll be well rewarded.

Colorado… The first American Communist state. Praise Jesus!

“Wait, who are you guys? Why are you taking me? I was extolling the virtues of the party… Oh come on, I’m being arrested for saying Jesus? And I’m white? No you’re wrong, I’m 1/16th black on my mothers side. No! I’m not resisting arrest.. Prison? What for? Won’t someone help me?“

Colorado… Has been added to the states that I will not consider living in. I may visit once more for a wedding, but after that… Nope!

I’m waiting to see what California does… You know California is going to try to outdo Colorado. I don’t know what California will do but I’m sure it’ll be a complete subversion of what the majority of us older folks believe America is / was about. 

Perhaps, California will handle it by simply arresting Donald Trump and his staff when they land for a campaign stop. That would one-up Colorado. Especially if they reactivated Alcatraz. That would show Trump!

At this point I fully expect California will “Forget” to print Republican mail in ballots, but they’ll make sure that Democrat mail in ballots are printed and mailed out at least 6 weeks early.

Not that it matters in California, the Republicans are such a minority here, they couldn’t fill a sports stadium.

In that regard California has already bested Colorado. There’s no real need to count votes here. Pick any liberal money spending scheme, or any democrat candidate. Whatever is the absolute worst for the people, budget, or state and they / it  automatically wins.

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The difference between the young morons and us older morons.

Dogs…

Let me tell you a story. I’m out walking my dog on his “retracto” leash and we’re having a really good walk.

Up ahead, I see a human. The human is maybe 1/4 of a mile away, and I can see that the human is facing me due to the reflection of light on its face. I can’t tell at this distance if the human is Male or Female because they’re moving in and out of shadows cast by the trees along the trail.

Suspecting they may have a dog, and wishing to avoid my dog attempting to drag me at top speed toward the human at the very least and the potential dog, I choose another path. The new trail intersects the trail I’m on, at approximately where the human walking toward me, is at this moment.

My dog hasn’t noticed the human at this point, so I count myself lucky and think that we humans will pass well out of reach of each other. Potential dog entanglements will also be avoided.

Jesse and I continue on and he’s having a blast sniffing along the trail that we don’t usually take.

Rounding the last bend, guess what?

The human is still there. Yep they haven’t moved, and goodie! They have a full blooded husky about Jesse’s size and age who is off leash, and slowly approaching from the concealment of a thicket.

So now we have one dog on leash, and one off leash, Jesse wants to go sniff and do all the dog things, but I don’t know this dog. Will the dog be aggressive? Are we trespassing in territory that this dog considered his? How will Jesse react?

Oh and let’s not forget that part of this walking regimen for me is rehabilitation on my knees which have both been troublesome for 2 years. It’s only been in the last year that I’ve been able to really walk any distance without pain.

So I’m trying to hold Jesse back and the other dog is advancing. Jesse has his ears laid back but is still slowly wagging his tail. (Mixed Signals!)

Then things advance, now there is jumping and circling, I’m being dragged over uneven terrain, and trying to keep from becoming entangled in the leash. I hear growling beginning.

At this point the other human moseys on over to regain control of their dog.

“He’s just wanting to play,”

I have fire in my left knee. And I have .8 miles going uphill to get home. Truthfully going uphill is easier than going downhill.

Walking home, Jesse is very sweet he’s not rushing, or dragging me. He knows something is wrong with daddy’s knee.

He’s been checking on me since we got home. I’ve got the ice pack on my knee. I’m using it without the usual fabric cover because I don’t want to put a pair of shorts on. This way my sweat pants are taking the place of the cover. That’s the good news, the bad news is that I have nothing to keep it in place.

I digress…

All of the above brings me to the differences between my generation and this most current crop of “adults”.

We were taught to fucking think!

Let’s evaluate the situation shall we?

Had a Boomer been the Human approaching us on the main trail, they would have continued walking because they’d have accepted, for reasons known only to me, that I was trying to avoid them. They wouldn’t have taken it personally. The assumption would have been that I perhaps know my dog, and my physical condition better than they do, and that would have been fine.

A Boomer upon realizing that my dog was on a leash would have perhaps thought, “Maybe His dog is aggressive, Perhaps his dog isn’t off leash trained.” Either way another Boomer would have put their fucking dog on a leash, you know, the one they were carrying. Just to avoid any potential injury to either dog or humans.

Another Boomer would have thought, “If our dogs try to get to know each other, that guy is going to be fighting to not get tangled up.” And they’d have put their dog on the fucking leash in their hand.

Another Boomer seeing the obvious white beard on my face would have thought, “ You know, that guy looks a tad older, maybe it’s not going to be good for him to be at the heart of dog play or a dog fight.” Another Boomer would have put their dog on the leash as a simple courtesy.

But the other human approaching Jesse & I, was not a “Boomer”.

He was a young adult in his late 20s or early 30s and therefore completely bereft of the ability to think ahead, courtesy, or common sense.

I know youngsters think Courtesy and Common Sense are antiquated notions.

I would instruct all you children thusly.

Courtesy is an outgrowth of conflict avoidance.

If one is courteous then typically there is no conflict. If there is no conflict, then one or more people do not end up with broadswords sticking out of their chests. Barmaids are also happier because getting bloodstains out of rough hewn wooden floors is a real bitch of a job.

Courtesy goes further though.

Courtesy is an acknowledgment that no one can know all the factors at play in any encounter with another person.
Did that person have a fight with their spouse?
Did that person just get out of surgery?
Is that person grieving a loss?
Is the person trying to rebuild strength after an injury?
Does that other person have health insurance?
If they’re injured out in this rural area will paramedics be able to get to them?
What happens in the case of the unexpected?
Is the person prone to heart attacks?

These are just a few of the potential issues.

Being courteous allows you to avoid these and many other possibilities and allows you to absolve yourself of all responsibility for what happens next, to the person your’e being courteous to.

If you’re a young person who wants no responsibility…

Being courteous allows you to turn your back leave with your dog on a leash, and ignore the “Thud” you hear from behind and never look back. After all you were courteous and whatever that noise was… It’s none of your business.

See courtesy can be fun!

Just as an aside, I may have the underpinnings for courtesy all wrong, but thinking of courteous behavior this way has allowed me to implement courtesy in my daily life rather than beat or insult the living shit out of every dumbass I’ve encountered.

It’s kept me from saying things like;

“Does your whole family have the same intelligence level as you? It does? Wow, there’s a family tree that needs to be chopped down!”

“You’re a load your daddy should have jacked down the toilet, oh wait, right… your mother is a cum dump of a toilet!”

“You’re in favor of abortion? So am I… Retroactive Abortion! Here, let me put this plastic bag over your head. Now breathe deep, it will all be over soon! It’s for the planet, there, there, sleep.”

These are just a few of the things that go through my mind dealing with people. Without courtesy, imagine all the sad little snowflakes I’d have traumatized through the years.

Courtesy is a mobile safe space, it’s like a vaccine that protects us all…