Category: Stupid People

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So this is funny, in a really sad way.

I talk to people all day long.  I help them figure out what’s wrong with their machines and there’s the added factor that these machines are part of life monitoring. 

Sometimes we replace parts, and we ask for the broken parts to be sent back so that they can be analyzed.  To facilitate this, we send all the packaging necessary for the client to send the broken bits back. Yes, we pay the shipping to their homes, and then pay to have the units shipped back to us. 

That’s the system anyway.

Sometimes the return label gets lost, or misplaced. 

This leads to the client calling us to request a replacement label.

Our usual procedure is to email the replacement label to the client and have them print it locally on their printer. This is fast efficient and cheap.

Which leads me to the funny, sad part of it.

I actually spoke with someone today who’d lost or never gotten their label.

I said, “No problem, I’ll email it to you and you can print it out.”

They said, “No, I shouldn’t have to waste my paper printing out your label. You must mail it to me.”

My brain rebooted.

I’d looked at the order, we’d sent this person almost 2K worth of equipment (approximately half of it un-necessary but this person had raised a stink and got their way.)  FOR FREE. They were sitting right at the end of their warranty and were clearly milking another year of stuff out of us.

I said, “Excuse me?”

They reiterated, “I shouldn’t have to waste my paper or toner, on your crappy product.”

Sensing this was a trap. I said, “Sure thing.” Then printed the label, folded it placed it in an envelope and put it in the outgoing mail. 

What I wanted to say to this person was, ” If you’re not happy with the product, why the hell do you keep having us replace old stuff with new stuff?” I wanted to call this person out on their being an ass. 

To do that would have demonstrated that I can also be an ass. So I’m glad I restrained myself. I’m trying to be a better version of myself.

Humans!

Capable of unbelievable kindness, creativity, compassion, and accomplishments that rival some of the legends of gods.

But there is an element of humanity, a subspecies if you will, that make me wonder if eugenics based breeding should be mandatory.

Honestly, If it had been up to me I’d have terminated this person’s account. Billed them retail for all the equipment, then made sure that they were never able to purchase anything from us again. None of these actions would have been harmful. The person would have survived just fine they simply wouldn’t have had convienience anymore.

Alas, such things are not up to me. Perhaps that’s for the best. Had I done this, it wouldn’t have demonstrated much compassion on my part.

I did send the return label, postage due,  by 5 cents. That’s the approximate cost of the paper this person saved.

Someone in the mail dept caught the postal discrepancy. Probably for the best too, I’m sure that the person would have demanded another label be mailed.

But I tried!

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Just some food for thought…

JROppenheimer LosAlamos

I wasn’t planning on another piece about Apple v. The FBI. But here goes…

For all those pundits, wags, celebrities, politicians, and now Rabbis speaking out and telling Apple that they should decrypt the San Bernardino shooter’s iPhone, I submit this.

Apple is apparently applying the thought Robert Oppenheimer had after he helped create the atomic bomb.

When you see something that is technically sweet, you go ahead and do it and you argue about what to do about it only after you have had your technical success. That is the way it was with the atomic bomb.
– J. Robert Oppenheimer

I believe this quote is often paraphrased to;

Just because you CAN do a thing, doesn’t necessarily mean you SHOULD do a thing.

I’ve lived my life using that paraphrase as a test for certain actions. I look at it as a cautionary signpost for all scientists and researchers.

Project t virus by linkin368 d3gt57g

Just because you can modify the DNA of influenza to deliver a genetic update to all the people of the world… should you? What about murphy’s law? Can you really limit the unintended consequences? 

OR is it simply better to recognize that never creating the technology is the best course of action?

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All these people saying Apple should crack the phone, have no idea what they’re talking about. It’s not an easy task, even for Apple. Cracking encryption isn’t what you see in the movies. 

You don’t just plug a widget into a port, have some dialog about how cool you are and then hear a beep as the NSA computers start spilling all their information onto your impossibly small storage device.

At this point it’s unclear if the iPhone in question is using something as simple as a 4 digit code. It’s likely, but depending on the IOS version being used, the phone could be locked using a phrase.

If there’s a passphrase the odds of success hacking it with a brute force attack drop precipitously with each character added to the passphrase length.

James comey fbi

The brute force attack that the FBI is describing is crude and there is no guarantee that if they win in court, forcing Apple to be their bitch, that when they finally get into the phone there won’t be a nasty little application that has encrypted all the files the FBI wants using an entirely different algorithm, from another manufacturer.  If that’s the case, is the FBI going to get another court order? Probably not, because this is about the FBI making an example. Apple just happens to be the biggest target. 

It’s just as likely, this Jihadi fucker was using a messaging application that wiped the messages 5 minutes after they were read.

Federal and state fbi agent

If the guy was at all concerned about security, He probably turned off all the Apple Tracking software, I know I did right after Edward Snowden blew the whistle.

I’m not a criminal, but I value my privacy and am willing to forego my phone being able to tell me where the nearest Häagen-Dazs is, to maintain my privacy.

This means that Apple providing a custom operating system to disables the automatic wipe on the phone and allow unlimited access to the phone’s password system is likely not going to get the FBI anything more than they already have based on cell tower records.

By the way, because of the number of towers in the San Bernardino area, cell tower data can pinpoint the movements of this Jihadi asshole to within a couple hundred feet or less.

The NSA Actually Has A Program Called SKYNET

So the FBI is lying right from the get-go, when they say they want access to the phone so they can figure out where this Jihadi and his diseased rancid whore of a wife, were before, during the shooting, and after. 

The cell tower records would already provide that information and if the guy turned off his phone while visiting some nefarious underworld figure. Or dropped it in a Faraday bag or cage…

LOKSAK SHIELDSAK Flexible Fabric Faraday Cage Anti RF Protective Bag RF Fortress Radio Frequency Camouflage NDIA SOFIC 2014 David Crane DefenseReview com DR 10

Then the FBI would still get nothing from the phone because at that point the phone would have been cut off from the cell tower or any GPS information and likewise wouldn’t have been able to transmit any of that information.

But we know that the FBI has nine OTHER phones they want to force Apple to help them unlock. 

Apple icon apple

The problem here is that Apple has never created the software to unlock or hack their devices.

Why should they?

Apple tells you, “don’t lose your password, we cant help you if you do.”

So they have a secure device, and they can insure the device’s security because they’ve never created any software to undo their encryption or their locking mechanism.

Just because you CAN do a thing, doesn’t necessarily mean you SHOULD do a thing.

Achmed

Dear Apple customer… “If you loose your password, you can wipe the phone and start over. We strongly recommend you have the data backed up. Apple provides the iCloud service for this purpose.“

It’s recently come to light, that the FBI ordered the San Bernardino County IT department to change the password on the iCloud account and therefore broke a link that could, with Apple’s help, have gained access to the phone.

Now the FBI wants to use a court order to force Apple to UNFUCK their fuckup. But that’s not the end game.

The end game is that the FBI wants to force manufacturers to build government backdoors into all devices. 

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The FBI is using “terrifying terrorists” and criminals, to spook congress and the courts into passing legislation that mandates government access be built into all machines. They and their supporters are using the time honored B.S. line;

“For the safety and security of the public…” or that old favorite “We do this for THE CHILDREN”

I’m not sure I believe in the slippery slope argument but I do think it’s a very short walk to losing rights that we’ll never get back.

That walk begins with statements that start out, “It’s worth losing a little privacy, or freedom, or changing the laws, or, or, or,  for safety.” see; The Patriot Act

 When I see our government behaving this way, and I hear people saying, “it’s just a little invasion,” I can’t help but think of the poem The Hangman.

I could see a time in the future when it’s illegal for you not to have your phone on your person.

After all, the government would only want to keep track of your movements and communications to insure your safety… Right?

Back doors in our devices are, I think just a stepping stone to full surveillance.

“You have nothing to fear, if you have nothing to hide.”

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OH for the love of God! It’s a crime to be male and famous.

You have to be kidding me.

18 years later, asshole femnazis called UltraViolet are demanding Peyton Manning’s hide for an incident while he was a college kid.

By the way ladies, I think you’re guilty of copyright infringement. UltraViolet is the trade name of a streaming video service. Uh oh, you’re diluting their brand, and I can’t wait to see you whine when they slap an injunction on you.

Peyton Manning nfl

The issue was settled in 1997 for 300K cash and everyone apparently went their separate ways.

More about that case is available here

Apparently things were mostly quiet until Peyton became a target for the rabid SJW crowd.

I hope Peyton sues the ever living SHIT out of the women’s groups and his sponsors if they terminate his contracts.

What are we going to have next?

Will the SJW crowd go back to men’s kindergarten classes and then fuck up our lives because we showed a girl our pee pee when we were five?

This shit has to stop.

If I can’t sue my former employers for sexual harassment visited upon me by women, because the statute of limitations has run out… SJWs shouldn’t be allowed to screw someone over and destroy their livelihood for something they did almost 20 years ago. 

The thing that really sucks about all of this is that Peyton and Eli Manning’s philanthropic foundations are threatened too.

If the SJW’s manage to take Peyton down, they’ll probably indirectly harm all the disadvantaged kids that the foundation helps.

So thanks a lot ladies and fuck you all.

Yeah, I’m sick of the whole SJW thing.

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People are unbelievable

DSC 0887Weekend two of the snow players.

Sigh!

Yesterday wasn’t too bad, but today as been a mess. One of the local forums describes the current condition of the snow, as “Ghetto Snow”.

Ghetto Snow is snow that’s a nasty combination of ice, dirt, and god only knows what else.

I know my dogs have added their own unique colors to the snow. <ahem>

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Today things are going too far. We’ve got people driving up into our neighborhoods onto side streets, (Streets that we’ve cleared in many cases BY HAND) then they start loading the snow, (OH, NOW YOU WANT TO HELP?) from our yards into their vehicles.

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Yeah, they park half off the street, half in our yard, then start digging randomly in our yards with absolutely no idea what is under the snow, of course they’re only interested in the clean snow from the middle of our yards.  All the while their kids are making snow men and having snowball fights elsewhere on our property.

WTF?

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The sheriff and CHP are apparently hanging around just waiting to write tickets.Their response time has been absolutely astounding!

Either of those LEOs are welcome at my place anytime. I’ll happily make coffee, hot chocolate and whatever other yummies I have on hand for them.

That’s not an offer of bribery, that’s me saying THANK YOU to folks whose jobs must be really tough to do, and me demonstrating my heartfelt appreciation for them doing that job.

I was standing on my deck taking pictures of yet another carload of morons who flew up my DEAD END street.

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They race up the street only to slam on their brakes when they realize that they can’t go any further and are in fact sliding backwards on ice into some random obstruction.

I’ve come to enjoy the distinctive high pitched whine of tires spinning on ice punctuated  by the equally distinctive “clunk-crunch-tinkle,” of plastic and/or glass connecting with rocks or trees.

This particular car load of morons was lucky, their front tires found purchase on a small portion of pavement exposed by the last 25 morons spinning their tires in the exact same spot. But I made sure that the fat nasty chick who got out of the passenger side of the car could hear me laughing.

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Anyhow, as I’m standing there, I see someone else snatching a shovel from my neighbors yard. They didn’t ask, they just took it. I called out, they ignored me, I called out again and then my neighbor came out and started yelling too.

First, these people tried to act like they didn’t know what we were talking about while holding the shovel then they acted like they didn’t understand English. My neighbor stepped out the door and started down off the porch.

The shovel was run back over to the spot it had been removed from.

My neighbor grabbed it and locked it in his garage. The people all hopped in their car and drove away.

This is why so many of us are wanting access to the residential areas restricted. The problem is that it would take a ton of man power to prevent the snow players getting to the residential areas because almost every street opens onto one of the main arteries through town. The main arteries all connect to two bigger arteries that lead to the freeway.

While it would be easy to block off those streets, once people got past those choke points we couldn’t control them throughout the town.

I love what happens when the Sheriff’s Deputy pulls up. All these people scatter like cockroaches in a cheap apartment.

It’s going to be a very long winter.

We wouldn’t mind so much but people are just so damn ill mannered. They don’t need to be in our neighborhoods or yards. There are places all over town specifically set aside for play.  The only reason people are up here is because they don’t want to deal with the crowds in those areas.

I guess I could start charging for parking and assistance getting unstuck from the ice.

I wonder how much of a profit I could turn before an officer made me stop? I wouldn’t be mad at the officer. After all, they’d just be doing their job and technically, I don’t think I can charge for parking on a public street. Or for people to play in the snow that is on country property.

I wonder if I could charge what amounts to a toll? After all the street my house faces is a private street and since the county won’t maintain it and the residents pay to have it paved; can I charge for people using our street? (I should ask some of my cop friends.)

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Cocktail / Dinner Party Don’ts

Discussing, politics, religion, & the family doctor at social gatherings… BIG social no-no’s!

Audrey-Hepburn-cocktail-partyI was at a dinner party the other night.  It was nice until someone assumed that everyone in the crowd would be voting for Hillary!  I corrected him, simply saying that I wasn’t. Then he called me a misogynist because I’m not on the Hillary bandwagon.  Hey, I’m not voting for Trump either!

In hindsight, since the word misogynist rolled off the guys tongue with the same venom as the word “Racist” I probably should have kept my mouth shut.

I didn’t!

I asked this person to explain their logic.  Things went down hill from there, I really need to learn how to disengage, or better yet not engage at all!
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This person explained that is was time for America to have a woman president.

He went on to justify that statement by saying European countries had elected women leaders. I asked how he could justify voting for Hillary when we know she’s lied about at least one issue of national security regarding her email server, and that the FBI is currently investigating her.

I also pointed out that if she were a man, or Republican, or a citizen like everyone in the room, she’d be out of the presidential race and likely in jail. The response was, “Hillary is better than Trump.”

“What about Fiorina,” I asked.

“She’s a Republican!”

Hillary-Clinton.pngAt which point, I pointed out that his choice of Hillary was in fact not based simply on the fact that America needed a woman president but party politics.

Then the guy tried to “WIN” the conversation by loudly asking me again if I was a misogynist and accused me of being afraid of a woman president.  I told him that I thought his attitude was based in misandry and given that he was a man I found that quite ironic.

Thinking about it… That was when I should have stopped.

He didn’t understand what I’d said, so I should have realized I was having a war of wits with and unarmed person.

The discussion, such as it was, devolved into his pronouncements that no-one should have guns and everyone in America was afraid.  I told him I thought that he was overstating the issue. Especially considering that Munich was currently on lockdown due to threats from ISIS. And that in the wake of Paris, and San Bernardino perhaps being prudent and more aware of our surroundings was not a bad idea.

His rather angry response was to tell me that being alert and aware of your surroundings, or preparing for things like fire, or earthquake, and more recently jihadi attacks, by noting things such as exits in a public place is paranoid and demonstrative of the cowardice of America.

Therefore I was paranoid and a coward. Uhhh WOW!

Justice-in-the-Form-of-a-New-Law-Served-to-PA-Crime-VictimsI pointedly asked him if he really thought it was paranoid to take just the slightest moment to note exits in case of an emergency. He responded that even if terrorists came into a restaurant shooting he’d be ok getting shot.

My brain rebooted.

In my world view  you never just lay down and die, especially not when you have options, like the ability to retreat.

DUDE-WTF-IS-WRONG-WITH-YOUI asked him to explain himself and honestly was curious about the foundations of his belief,  because that mindset is so completely Alien to me.

He started spouting circular and rhetorical talking points that led me to believe he worked for the progressive Democrat movement. After several rotations of the talking points, suddenly he threw in people don’t need to carry guns.

I said what?

Then I realized he was referring to the new Texas open carry law, and that somehow in his world view, now everyone was carrying guns all the time everywhere. I even pointed out that people exactly like him had managed to take the right of open carry away from their fellow citizens in California.

I kept asking questions and he kept parroting the progressive liberal talking points. It became very clear that he wasn’t actually thinking. I have no problem with people having differing opinions from mine, I have a real problem with people regurgitating stuff that they’ve not really thought about.

moderate-alcohol-consumption-beneficialGranted there was some alcohol involved and somewhere in my brain there was a diagnostic running that was questioning if I was drunk and being an ass.

The little boy in me said “He Started it!”

I’d decided to disengage because I was tired of making points that he tried to erase by parroting canned talking points, but being unable to discuss or expound on any of those points.

Later, It occurred to me that this person had probably never in his entire live been in a situation where they were the least bit on the edge. His world experiences were so safe or he was so oblivious, that he actually believed he was safe from everything all the time. This is a person who believes they don’t have to have an earthquake kit because the government will be there to make everything fine, instantly.

At that moment, I wasn’t able to look at this person with anything but contempt. I saw the guy as prey, a sheep, weak, and someone that I wouldn’t miss if I never saw him again. If an earthquake had happened at that exact moment, I’d have done nothing to ensure his safety. Sheep die all the time…

Things really took a turn towards the surreal when my other half told the guy he was being an ass by not allowing me or anyone else to complete a sentence without interruption.

The other half even said I wasn’t being an Ass, but that the other guy was. I began looking for signs I’d entered an alternate universe, I didn’t find any so…

Surprise Surprise Surprise! I’m not a complete asshole!

That my other half took a side like that, surprised the hell out of me

Normally I’m allowed to make an ass of myself without comment. On rare occasion I’m  told I’m being an asshole, and that I need to shut up.

In this situation apparently, my only fault was answering someone who was clearly interested in a battle of wits, they thought they’d win.

They weren’t prepared to have someone say, “Defend your opinions.”

I was really worried that the other half was pissed at me. I asked about it and was told it wasn’t me.

Church Lady isn't that specialA friend reminded me that I should have dropped to my Southern upbringing and simply avoided the whole conversation with;

“How nice” or “Bless your heart”

That’s really good advice and I’ll be taking it next time.