Category: Rants

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Oh, My GOD! As if I’m not stressed enough.

This morning I was having my coffee when my doorbell rings.

It was a sheriffs deputy. Guess what, he was doing a wellness check on me.

WHAT THE FUCK????

The minute he asks if I know a particular person I know exactly what’s going on and I’m fucking livid! I have never been so angry at anyone in my life.

I wasn’t angry at the officer, I was angry at the person who called the fucking police to take time out of their day to come by my house for nothing.

The issue was that I was sick and tired of talking to this particular person. So I’d simply stopped answering the phone.

I really thought nothing of it. I’ve got shit to do, I’ve been outside shoveling snow for the past week or so with my neighbors.

I’ve got other stuff to do as well and I have no desire to be pissed off or bummed out by some overly dramatic nonproductive conversation with this person. Who the fuck does this bitch think she is, calling the cops?

For fucks sake! I have a family that is checking in with me every day. Sometimes I don’t answer them either. It depends on what I’m doing. Maybe I’ll get back to them in a day or two.

This person isn’t even MY friend. She’s a friend of my deceased partner! There is little to no connection between us.

I’m more likely to answer calls from my family because they don’t cause me an hour or two of emotional pain when they call. They don’t rehash the same shit from their unresolved trauma over and over again. They don’t talk over me. They don’t tell me how to live my life. But this “friend” does all of the above.

This person keeps trying to force me into grieving my loss like she thinks I should. Then to top it off, as if she owns me, she calls the cops to enforce her will on me. The cops ask me to call her. What are we in? Kindergarten?

Take a fucking hint lady, I was only marginally interested in continuing a relationship with you, out of respect for my partner. But NOW oh hell no! I’ll be cutting all ties.

I’m really sick and tired of having to remind people that I am a 60+ year old adult male and am more than capable of taking care of myself.  I’ve been doing it for decades.

To any of you that may think otherwise, or that I need a mother, or a parent, or a controller…

BACK OFF!

LEAVE ME IN PEACE. I’LL GRIEVE, IN MY OWN WAY, IN MY OWN TIME!

HERE’S SOMETHING ELSE YOU SHOULD KNOW,  

I’LL THRIVE IN MY NEW LIFE!

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Was just thinking, I’m catching up with Hillary Clinton.

Since 1992 I’ve had 3 members of my immediate family die by suicide. In December I lost my Stepmother and her husband to natural causes.

In January I lost my husband of 34 years.

I bring you all up to date because there have been some of his friends who keep telling me they know how I feel.

In short, they don’t!

These folks are trying to be kind and supportive. They wax on and on about how difficult it was for them to lose a sibling or a parent. Then they start telling me how I should live my life now.

My friends, those who really know me, have been very supportive and kind. They’ve taken a step back and responded instantly when I’ve asked for help. They’ve done what I asked, maybe made a suggestion or two to make things go smoother and then butted out.

They’re the ones, who like my brothers are concerned, but respect me enough to let me work through this gut punch in my own way. They’ll text or call just randomly to ask how I’m doing and that tells me I’m in their thoughts. They’ve lost parents and siblings, but they’re not banging on about their trauma. They’re providing a wall of strength, occasional guidance when asked, and staunch solid support.

The only people who know how I feel, are those who’ve lost their spouses. There have been a couple of folks who’ve come to me privately offering support or a shoulder. Some of them, I didn’t even know had lost their spouse. I thought they’d been through the more common event of divorce and were single by choice.

I appreciate their support and kindness. I think that them putting themselves in a position where my spouse’s death could reopen their old wounds takes a lot of courage. Maybe someday I’ll have that same courage, but I don’t see that in my immediate future.

To the people that would tell me, “I know just what you’re feeling…”

I say this.

Until you’ve bagged up shirts, pants, suits, ties, and shoes that you saw your spouse wear often, into garbage bags to go to a donation site. You have no fucking idea what I’m feeling.

Until you’ve occupied a house where the grim reaper’s handiwork is laying on your bedroom floor for 9 hours, You don’t know shit.

Until you’ve cried yourself to sleep out of guilt and loneliness after masturbation. No words, anecdotes, or over sharing of your personal drama even compares.

Until the future you’ll have to forge into alone yawns before you, almost everything you think you know is absolute and complete bullshit.

Nothing prepares anyone for losing a spouse that you’ve spent almost your entire adult life with. It’s massive! It’s a kick to the balls and the kicking just doesn’t stop.

Telling me “You’ll have to sell object X, Y, or Z,” to keep the lights on, mentioning a person’s name over and over but not providing a phone number after repeatedly being asked to do so isn’t helpful.

It’s cruel! Especially when the person you mentioned is hidden behind multiple websites with no fucking phone number on any of them. It’s also not helpful at all to keep saying that the objects in question are valuable. Duhhhh! I fucking paid for them! The objects in question are also not the kind of things that sell like hotcakes, especially in this economy. Which means these objects are not instant income streams. Despite what you think.

So for those of you who keep saying, “I know just how you feel,” shut the hell up!

You’re not being supportive. You’re not helping, all you’re doing is ripping the bandage off again and again and pissing me off. I’ve got better things to do right now than listen to you blather on about your trauma and attempting to use me as a free psychologist.

You deal with your own shit and leave me to deal with mine.

Yeah… There are some phone calls you just let go to voicemail!

I’m getting better at that every freakin day.

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My God I’m embarrassed to be an American!

Don’t worry, I’m not likely to want to move to China. The CCP and I would simply not get along!

I have on more than one occasion wondered if moving to Russia might be okay. At least there, I’d know what I was signing up for.

Learning Russian though might be a super tough hurdle so it’s not likely. At least Russia has laws and seems to enforce them.

This whole Brittany Griner thing is humiliating.

Us russia griner brittney griner 15 runs up court women basketball gold medal game japan at 2020 su 640x480

First of all, she’s a basketball player. So what? She won an olympic medal or two, big fucking deal! She broke the sovereign law of another country and it’s just my opinion, I’d bet she thought her “Fame” would allow her to be above the law in Russia just as she thinks she’s above the law in the USA. When the news first broke I was like, “Brittany Who?”

I was happy to see her privileged ass behind bars and applaud the Russian legal system for following their law.

That she was arrested, found guilty, and imprisoned is 100% ON HER. She’s not a victim, and not a hero, she committed a crime, and guess fucking what? There are consequences to committing crimes, at least in some places in the world.

It blows my mind that apparently Russians take the law more seriously than the United States or most of the EU.

Hmmm. I wonder if Romania would allow me to retire quietly if I asked nicely to immigrate? Maybe that would be worth checking out. The language thing would still be a hurdle, but probably worth it if I could have a small home and a little plot of land where I could grow vegetables in the summer. I don’t need much and wouldn’t be any trouble. I would want to excise myself completely from the insanity of America, and become a citizen.

It’s not that I don’t love this country. I’m just tired of being humiliated again and again by the powers that be.

Biden says Griner, “Represents the Best of America”

Excuse ME? If she’s the best of America we’ve got some serious problems. I can’t help wondering if any other nations are taking the old moron seriously. If so, then all Americans traveling abroad can legitimately be viewed with suspicion. If Griner is the best we’ve got to show the world, then all Americans must therefore be liars, and stupid shitheads. I’d suspect that most countries would add thief, corrupt, deviant, to the list of descriptions regarding Americans.

Brittany Griner is the poster child for what not to do when you’re traveling. I hope she is on posters all over the world that read, “Don’t be a Brittany! Check your baggage for illegal substances.”

I’d have preferred to see her fucking rot in a Russian prison. The Russians don’t mollycoddle their prisoners like America does. (A notable exception being the prison where the DNC is holding Jan 6th Prisoners until they break.) Prison in most other countries is punishment.

Then we have another instance of Sam Brinton, the over educated MIT graduate who can’t seem to decide what the fuck he (she/it/they/them/zem/zer… whatever the fuck,) is. He’s a boy, She’s a girl, They’re a dog, or something else entirely.

Sam Brinton Conversion 640x480

In addition to all Sam’s other fuckedupness this dumb ass also appears to have a luggage fetish.

There’s a report that Sam has been charged with stealing some other woman’s luggage in Nevada. Really Sam? Once could be a mistake, Twice says you’re the problem!

Most people don’t have a problem identifying their luggage. Have you tried a pretty pink bow on the handle of your shit? Perhaps you should consider investing in an AirTag!

My question is this, when are the US Marshalls going to roll up and arrest this fucker? When is Sam going to be fired from his cushy government job? When will Sam get to hold fetish demonstrations in a prison shower? After all, he’s got himself some dick sucking lips.

Can we assume that according to the Biden Administration that this jackass is, “The Best of America,”?

I think not! Do you think we could get Putin to put little Sam in a Russian prison? I’m sure Sam would be a favorite of Russian prisoners and bored Russian guards.

I know that’s horrible for me to say. As an American Sam is an embarrassment, as a member of the LGB community, Sam is a humiliating gender fuck drag performer that belongs on a San Francisco “Pride” float from 1980.

Hey Sam, just do the time warp again and go back to the parade. As an aside, you don’t have nearly the class that Dr Frankenfurter had.

Update: 12/12/2022 Looks like the DOE has fired Sam Brinton. All it took was two felony charges of grand theft. He is relatively low level in the grand scheme of the government. I suppose that it would take 6 or more felonies to get to some of the more corrupt elements but it’s a start.

Then we have the continuing saga of Mad Maxine Waters. She’s apparently been caught with her hand in the cookie jar again! The Federal Election Commission has disclosed that Mad Maxine has been paying her daughter’s company a shit ton of election donations to do shit to keep Mad Maxine in office.

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This is a woman who doesn’t even live in the district she supposedly represents. That’s been known for years and I’ll bet she was sweating the recent California redistricting. If the lines had been drawn a little differently, I’d bet she would have ended up in the rich white people’s district (where she actually lives) and then she’d be out of congress on her ass.

Because I’m a suspicious fucker, I have to wonder if there was some payment to the redistricting commission to make sure that the lines didn’t change too much in her area.

The shitty part of this is that her constituents are typically low income and they’re donating their hard earned money to her campaign. Hey Mad Maxine, how many hungry children does it take to keep you warming that seat in congress? Just asking for a friend…

I honestly have a hard time keeping up with or processing the changes I’ve seen in this country over my 60 years or so on this planet.

This isn’t the America I said the pledge to every morning in elementary school. This isn’t the America my father served in The Navy to protect. This isn’t the America my brother served in The Army to protect, and it sure as hell isn’t the America so many of my close friends who were Marines fought to protect.

This version of America is a flaming shit show, of incompetence, corruption, and blatant stupidity.

I don’t know what it will take to bring us back. Sadly I think there may be no coming back.

Perhaps I’m just cranky because my back is still locked up and reading about the excesses of a certain class of people pisses me off.

I’m still waiting for my white privilege to be delivered. I guess FedEx “lost” that package too!