Category: Annoyances

So, not to get too detailed, because that would be boring and unnecessary. 

I’ve got a small problem with the RO unit under the sink. No leaking or anything it’s just the unit isn’t producing the proper volume of water.

No problem. I looked at the calendar, and noted that the routine service was only a couple of months off. So I called the service organization starting at 8:00 AM with the intention of scheduling the repair and the routine service at the same time.

It rang & rang but never in the menu prompts did they list hours. Well, maybe they’re busy… I called again at 8:30. Still no answer. 9:00 still no answer. 9:30 finally an answer. The person asked if I could hold. Of course I can. 8 minutes later she came back on the line.

I tell her I’m trying to schedule a repair and since it’s so close let’s do routine service at the same time. 

She spent the next 8 – 10 minutes telling me about a special discount for long time customers where they’d replace the water softener control head I have, with the next newer version that has wifi connectivity and is supposed to use less salt and less water for regeneration.

It’s only 6K to get this new improved system.

“Uh no thank you. I just want the repair and routine service.”

She says, “Please hold.”

Then she wants to know if I have the carbon unit. What? 

She explains further that the carbon unit has a second tank full of carbon as either a pre filter or post filter. I tell her I don’t have a carbon tank.

“Please hold.”

Then she comes back with a date late next week. Great thanks.

Then I’m transferred to the RO unit people. They tell me that they’ll come up 3 days earlier and, “Oh have you heard of our new improved RO unit that takes up less space under your sink. For a limited time this new system is only $1800 and it can be financed through Home Depot!”

“Uh no, I just want to have the unit I have repaired. I have no desire to spent $1800 on a house I’m trying to leave.”

“Well if you’re moving out of state we have dealerships all over the country and in some of Europe and Dubai. Where are you moving? “

“Home to the midwest where the water is filtered through sand and limestone and is pure and tasty without a filtration system. Thank you very much.”

“Okay, we can be there on Tuesday. The repair and yearly service will cost approximately 300.00”

“Great… I’ve got you in my calendar.”

I’m standing there after hanging up the phone and wondering to myself WTF? Why did it take 35 minutes to schedule a repair?

I was also wondering why the price for their new improved RO unit seemed really out of line. Nearly 2K, as it turns out is on the high side but a quick price check says some units are 4K. I’ll tell you what, for that kind of money the RO unit better be dispensing water that’s better than Ponce de León’s fountain of youth.

What the hell happened to placing the call and hearing “Yes Sir, the unit is not leaking is that correct? Great. We’ll be there on Tuesday if anything happens between now and then please call us back to have the repair expedited.”

This shouldn’t have been more than a 10 minute call, if that.

If this is the future…

I’m terrified to make an appointment for car service. I’ll be on the phone for a couple of hours while they try to upsell me a new vehicle when what I want is an oil change. Perhaps if the ashtrays were full I’d consider a new vehicle.

That latter reference will sail right over the younger set.

It used to be kind of an insult. It was a way to point out someone’s frivolous spending. There was a time when some people bought new cars every year.

It was considered bad form and a waste of money. So if someone said, “Look, Andy has a new car. He must’ve filled up the ashtrays in the old car.” They meant it as an insult.

I’m becoming more convinced that the future is not the bright shiny cool life we were promised in The Jetsons.

I know, there’s a lot of really important stuff to be worried, or complain about.

This one has been growing to the point that I’m not sure if it’s just me being overly sensitive or if this is a real problem that all of us face and should be resolved.

Packaging! 

Everything we get is packaged in something. From the atomic bomb resistant packaging of a set of batteries, to the chicken pot pie we’ve got in our freezers. (It’s comfort food! So sue me!)

Everything is sealed and puncture resistant. But a fair amount of these items have “Easy open” strips or perforations that are supposed to allow us to tear along the perforation and gain access to the product inside. Hopefully this happens without requiring a thermal lance burning at 10,000° F.

But lately, none of the “Easy Open” features work properly. Resealable packages with the helpful “Tear Here” strips often don’t open, or when using the “Tear Here” strip, the resealable bit is damaged beyond usability. (This is why you’ll find frozen chicken strips, in their original bag prominently declaring the package resealable, inside a Ziplock Bag in my freezer.) 

Even the perforated pull strip on the butter doesn’t work anymore. It’s gotten to the point that I don’t even try. I’ll tear the end of the carton of butter completely off rather than frustrating myself with tearing a strip off.

Oh, I’d like to be able to pull the little strip, expose the little tongue & groove closure, and be able to use it to keep the butter closed and neat looking in the fridge.

However is shouldn’t take me 3 minutes of tearing the strip off, cleaning up the failure of the strip to open the package, working a knife into the carton flaps to neatly open the package, then still being unable to access the butter inside, from which I’ll have to peal wax paper too.

These days, my butter package looks like it was mauled by a bear.

Aluminum Foil and plastic wraps seem to be experiencing similar packaging troubles.

Microwave popcorn bags used to be easily opened by grabbing opposing corners and pulling. That method works about 65% of the time today. The remaining 35% of the time, popcorn gets blasted all over the kitchen.

I can do without microwave popcorn and have done for a while now.

Don’t get me started on the “Coin” style batteries. Opening the outer and inner packaging requires the sharpest set of scissors in the house followed by a blowtorch to get through the inner packaging, topped off by a sharp blade to scrape the protective plastic coating from the positive side of the battery prior to installation.

God help you if the batteries in question powered a pacemaker or something ‘cause you’d be dead on the kitchen floor!

It is for this reason that I never bring more than one coin type battery device online per day. If I had to change five “2016 type” batteries in a single day I’d probably end up stabbing myself multiple times, out of sheer frustration.

I have to say the Bubba Angus burgers cardboard zip strip does work as designed.

The thing is, all of these packaging methods used to work properly.

It’s getting harder to rip open the top of a bag of chips without having it explode all over the kitchen. 

That used to be a simple thing. Grab both sides of the bag, pull in opposite directions and the bag would open along the thermal seal.

Not anymore! Somehow the thermal seal is stronger than the surrounding mylar reinforced bag and I’ve found that instead of applying 100,000 Newtons of force (22,480 Pounds), it’s just easier and neater to use a set of kitchen shears.

Back to the pot pie. It has been literally 9 years since I’ve had a Marie Calendar’s pot pie open along the perforations. You’ve got to take the top of the carton off of one of these no matter how you’re heating it up.

There are very convenient tabs on either side of the carton that say “push here”. These usually pop as expected provided the cheap cardboard carton doesn’t collapse before the perforation gives way. The real challenge is after the tabs.

This is the long angled perforation on either side of the carton that never tears properly. It’s so near the edge of the carton that you can’t really use a knife to open it because the carton will most assuredly crush, leaving you with the need to reheat the potpie on a plate if in the microwave or on a cookie sheet if you’re using an oven.

The way these cartons are manufactured is obviously about them being only slightly more rigid than tissue paper. Hey, Marie Calendar’s why not simply wrap the potpie in nuclear capable plastic overwrap and forego the carton entirely? Why continue to frustrate people with a shitty carton that doesn’t work as designed?

Better yet, since we know that 99% of all this packaging is about preventing certain elements in society from spoiling or stealing the contents. How about we go back to the old packaging that wasn’t frustrating and simply shoot anyone caught screwing around with packaged goods?

“Cleanup on aisle 8, this one’s a bleeder bring two mops!“

We seem to be comfortable with suggesting or doing heinous things “For the Greater Good” these days. Removing the shittier parts of society would definitely be for the Greater Good wouldn’t it?