When I was a kid…

Childhood Forests Fall

Sept 1 was a time of mixed feelings. 

On the one hand, I’d have been in school for almost two weeks and was mourning the end of Summer. On the other hand the countdown to the holidays was running in my head.

I knew I had Labor day off.

Whew, one more long weekend before I really had to buckle down and get to work. 60 days to Halloween, 26 days after that, Thanksgiving, 30 days later Christmas, then  the long dark dry spell of Winter with nothing to look forward to until Spring, the end of school and Glorious SUMMER again.

Back then, observed holidays were, well… actually Observed! and even though the Winter months were long and dark, they were punctuated by a holiday about once a month. I was also fortunate during Junior High and High School, that I lived in a place where we got snow days at the drop of a hat we lived for snow days.

gnat swarm

I guess I’m feeling a bit nostalgic. I woke up in a great mood, have already walked the dogs much to their delight and aside from being set upon by little black flying monsters, (I have no other description, they’re tiny, they swarm & they fly at your eyes, nose, ears, and mouth), The day is a good one. It’s cool and bright with the tinge of Autumn in the sunlight. 

I can’t describe it, there’s a color to the light that signals Autumn to me. All the seasons have a characteristic color?, tint?, cast?, in the sunlight. The night sky is also different beyond the constellations, depending on the season. I’ve been aware of these differences my whole life and took them for granted until a discussion with a friend.

Autumn Central Park NY

He doesn’t see the difference at all, he just looked at me like I was insane. [I am, but that’s another discussion.] I now know what describing color to a blind person is like. There are some things which words utterly fail to describe. Color, Orgasms, Joy, Beauty that makes you cry. 

I guess I’m more tuned into the rhythms of nature than I thought I was. Until talking with my friend I assumed that everyone saw what I see. Then again, I’m a very visual creature, so maybe it’s just that I notice details more than some people.

I like this time of year, it’s a time of change and for some reason I feel more creative.  

Everyone take a moment, look up from your cities, look out over the open spaces, take a deep breath, and take time to notice the light.

 

My intricate web of logic and reason…

webs

…Just collapsed into a steaming pile of poo!

I was working on a piece for today that was supposed to be light and funny. As I linked to source material and thought more about my position the piece became decidedly un-funny and anything but light.

Who knew flags could engender such angst? Perhaps they should all be banned!

The more I struggled to save this poor silly blog post, the worse it got.

So I’m throwing in the towel and may revisit it at a later date.

steamingpile

There’s nothing worse than a blog post gone horribly wrong. It makes ya long for the simplicity of Frankenstein’s monster.

Or is that Frankunsteen?

I think Young Frankenstein is the movie of the evening.

Good weekend everyone.

Sometimes a DICK is just a DICK!

VirginiaJournalists

In the wake of the Virginia journalists shooting, a lot of people are looking for a “Reason” for Vester Flanagan’s behavior.

Some are saying it’s because he was bullied for being black.

Some say it’s because he’d been bullied for being gay.

Flanagan’s manifesto says he shot those people because he was bullied by black men and white women for being gay. He also claims that he did this in response to Dylan Roof’s shooting of 9 innocents in a church.

I say none of this stands up to scrutiny.

Flanagan appears to have regularly sought out conflict with his employers, co-workers, neighbors, and anyone else over ANYTHING he could possibly construe as a “slight”. He’d filed EEOC complaints at his former television stations and he’d been terminated, fired, dismissed, (whatever term you prefer) from both as well.  No-one is quite sure what he’d been doing recently.

I worked with a woman once who behaved exactly the same. She destroyed a number of careers and in the end, got promoted to a position where she could do no more harm. Maybe Flanagan was just trying to litigate his way into a cushy position or enough money to retire.

Hell, if I wanted to, I could paint several places I’ve worked as “Hostile” toward gay people, and even White People or Men. I’ll bet I could even get a payout from EEOC hearings for any number of infractions.  I don’t because I wouldn’t want to harm the genuinely good and decent people I’ve worked with who would be collateral damage in a “hostile workplace” kind of suit or investigation.

SickFucker

Yesterday watching the unfolding story I found myself asking, “What kind of asshole do you have to be, to have an ex-football playing straight cameraman take you to HR after working with you one time?”  

Wow! I mean I’ve personally witnessed one guy calling another a motherfucker in deadly seriousness and neither man went to HR about the conflict, (It used to be ok that guys would sometimes get amped up, and back in the day we usually resolved the problem without HR, lawyers, or fists.)

I can only imagine that Adam Ward, (the cameraman) felt that Flanagan was so far out of line that HR was his only option. I can tell you this, as a white male I’d think long and hard before I took a problem with a black person to HR. The odds are good that HR’s solution to the problem would be to fire me to fix the conflict. This is not a new phenomenon it’s been that way for the last 20 years.  There are some things you just don’t do as a white dude, unless you have witnesses and absolutely NO other choice. Even if you’re right, and you “win”, you’re still likely to end up at the top of the layoff list.

If you’re gay in this country, you better get used to “Faggot”.

I’m not saying it’s right but It’s worth noting that some comedy routines still contain jokes about gay people. Gays are still fair game as targets of ridicule and the butt of jokes. Some comedians are more noted for faggot jokes than others. My point is… “NEXT!”  Being picked on because you’re gay isn’t reason enough to kill yourself OR others, anymore than being male, female, white, black, Hispanic, Asian, Canadian, or whatever the hell else you might be.

JustaDICK

Reports say that Flanagan purchased the gun legally. In other words he passed all the background checks, and waited the required cool down period in his state of residence. This morning politicians and antigun people were calling for more gun control and asking how this person was able to purchase a weapon.  The short answer is this;

You can’t take away someone’s 2nd amendment or any other constitutional rights just because they’re an asshole!

Flanagan didn’t kill Adam Ward and Alison Parker, because of any of the reasons he or others have claimed. He killed them because he was a twisted fucker who was looking for any excuse to justify a belief structure based on victimhood and revenge.

The bottom line is:

 Vester Flanagan was simply a DICK!

Whoops! Down the rabbit hole

receiptsample

It was a simple enough thing. Find a receipt so that we could claim the warranty replacement / repair.

“No problem,” says I, heading toward my computer. And that’s when it all fell down.

I’ve been keeping electronic receipts on my computer for years. There’s something like 2700 emails that are all in a nice neat folder in my email client. I started doing that because for years Mac Email did a great job of indexing and allowing me to find important emails like receipts.

Except today!

Today, I stumbled again over an indexing problem in Mac Mail. It’s been rearing it’s head from time to time.  I’ve done all the corrective actions specified TWICE! Still the search and indexing functions are all but useless in Mail.

The Final Solution, the Apple Web Site is recommending, which is the final solution on any computer is to re-install the OS. 

I’m thinking I’ll wait on that. In a couple of months, Apple is releasing a new OS and at that point my plan is to rework my computer anyway. 

Rather than go through this process twice in a short period of time, I’d rather combine the pain.

This leaves me with the initial problem… finding that receipt!

GRRRRR

Searching one email at a time isn’t cutting it. Sorting the emails in the folder should narrow my efforts… working working, working, working.

A couple of hours later…

Other half, “What are you doing?”

“Looking for that receipt”

Other half “Oh, um that problem is taken care of. Hours ago! I called the rewards program and they emailed me a copy of the receipt. I’m leaving now to drop the whatsit at the repair place.”

Some days, I’m too stupid to use a crayon!

“GRRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrr!” Pounding head on desk.

“Okay, drive careful, could you pick up some aspirin while you’re out? I’m going to need it.”

I do a fair bit of self censoring

Hard to believe isn’t it?

Lately I’ve been censoring myself far more than usual for reasons that I’m not going into.

Suffice it to say that I’m going to try to break out of that habit and get back to having fun with this blog.

After all this blog for me is about fun, not giving a damn, and it’s one place where I can just say what I think with a bit of a devil may care attitude.


Engineer

This has been a weird year for me. 

The past few years have been rough, but this one more than most.  24 years ago, I lost my Father. This year, I’ve been the same age as my Father when he died. That really messed with my head. I expected to be in my 80s before that happened. It’s been hard for me to shake the weirdness of it.

 I guess subconsciously, I was expecting to just start falling apart like that first “Engineer” in Prometheus.  It even looked like I was falling apart at the beginning of the year. Test after test kept showing oddball results that were indicative of a serious problem.

Luckily, the issue wasn’t what it could have been and it turns out, I’m “healthy” but the timing couldn’t have been worse. 

I learned the hard way, that I have to be very careful with all RX drugs and that even the “common, safe, and well known,” drugs may produce wholly undesired results. Worse, is the possibility that due to the commonness of many of these drugs and the margin for safety they have, oddball toxic reactions are the last thing that even the best doctors will look at.

DrWhoRegeneration

Thankfully I was able to ask the right questions, and my Doctor is a guy who actually listens when I ask questions. Yeah, I’m a pain in his ass, but he’s lucky I don’t see him that often. My Doc brightened my day the last time I saw him, with the happy reminder, “Your warranty has expired”. Gee, “Thanks Doc!”

As my odometer clicks over another year. I’m seeing hopeful signs that my long underemployment is coming to an end, and I know that will brighten my world considerably. More income is a good thing!

When I was younger I’d get really wound up about getting another year older, Now well obviously I still mark the event but not with the soul searching introspection of the past. “Where am I? Have I accomplished anything? Am I a good guy? What is my purpose? Have I lived up to my potential?”

Dawnofthedead

This year I’m past all that bullshit. The only question I’ve asked is “Am I happy?”  The answer is generally, “Yes” and the shit I’m not too thrilled about I can change.  My warranty may be expired, I’m nowhere near doing so.

Now if I could only figure out how to do that Dr. Who regeneration thing. Some mornings around here look like the Dawn of the Dead!

Have a great week everyone.