Kill me, kill me now.

Shining

It would be a mercy.

I had a cold thing for a few days, then I started to get over it, I thought, “cool.”

I started to resume my normal activities, then Wham!

This thing came back like gangbusters, and now I’m beginning to think it would be more merciful to just beat me to death with a baseball bat.

(Note to self… If you survive, get a baseball bat! One of my favorite home defense tools! All my bats were lost in the fire of ’08.)

I’ve thought about heading to the gym and alternating between the dry and steam sauna. I just don’t have the energy to make the drive and I’m not even sure I have the focus to be on the road at all.

Sneeze

I need to deal with the Bullshit of “Open Enrollment” on the health insurance front. GOD! I miss the days when my policy was in force as long as I paid the damn premium. I miss not having to deal with figuring out how I’m being fucked differently this year as opposed to last year.  Only our government could fuck up a simple transaction.

I pay you… you keep the contract in force it’s a really simple arrangement. I don’t have to review my car insurance or my homeowners insurance and renegotiate the deal every year. I shouldn’t have to do it with health insurance, except that apparently because of phased implementation we all get the “Joy” of reviewing all the wonderful shit that folks like Nancy Peolsi couldn’t be bothered to read before their “Rubber Stamp” vote on the “Messiah’s” healthcare plan.

I don’t blame ‘ol stompy foot for the healthcare bullshit. I blame the assholes on both sides of the aisle in congress for not reading the plan, and if they did read it and disagreed, for not standing up to the “rubber stampers”.

Sauna

Then there’s the annoyance that I haven’t been getting emails or regular mail to pay the insurance bill in the first place I’m going to have to review all this bullshit online or over the phone as I try to straighten out what’s, what.  Feeling the way I do I don’t really have the patience to deal with it.

On the plus side, I haven’t seen or read much in the way of news lately. I got a heavy dose of CNN while I was at the car dealership.  France “On lockdown”, Belgium “On lockdown”, Colleges across America “Racist hotbeds making people feel bad”.  To hear the News, you’d think that Stormfront or Northwestfront were in control of our college campuses and that the SS was hauling persons of color off to the camps. 

I’m assuming that in the intervening 3 days nothing has changed.

I’m going back to bed, my temp reads as 102° F so that means it’s time to shut down, stay warm & hydrated and wait for it to pass.

I can’t think anymore…

OH Shut the hell up! Shut the hell up!

TankGirl

Whiney, Humorless, Self Important, spoiled little college students, I’m personally sick of your shit. 

I’m fairly sure the rest of the nation and the entire fucking planet is sick of your shit. If they’re not now, they soon will be.

You’re bullies, & you know it…

Pretty damn soon someone is going to push back against your childish whining and complaining. Personally, I can hardly wait. Be thankful it’s not going to be someone like Tank Girl

Before that happens and a bunch of innocent people get hurt, why don’t you take this moment to get your asses back into classes, (which some of us never had the money or opportunity to attend because we were living hand to mouth,) and let the rest of your fellow students get back to concentrating on getting what they can out of their education.

If college is so demeaning, dehumanizing, and racially charged that you can’t see anything except racist overtones — perhaps you should go home!  That way you can stop supporting the corporate, sexist, racist, patriarchal, system that is keeping you down.  

OH? You don’t want to do that? You want doctors of color? You want more diversity in the administration? You demand to be able to deprive someone of their hard earned career because of the color of their skin? You want inclusiveness WHILE you’re telling the white students that you’ve forced to march in your cause, to leave your safe spaces?

Well fuck you!

You whiney, weak willed, marginally educated, loads your mommas shoulda swallowed, need to realize nobody hands the rest of us anything!

We have to pay for it. We have to keep paying OR we’re out of the fucking street homeless and hungry while you little cum stains are bitching about dead people whose visage or name offends you because of something the said or did 100 years ago or their name is on the side of a building or a street name or whatever. And you do this from the safety of a warm dorm when other people from your own communities go to bed in the cold, in cardboard boxes, hungry and alone.

If you were the real social justice warriors that you’d like to paint yourself as you would be organizing protests about lack of services for the homeless, the poor, the mentally ill, hungry children in this country, and any of a long list of ills that happen every day.

You’d be baking cookies and dinners and you’d be delivering those meals to the hungry from the backs of your Priuses.

You’d be screaming bloody murder about lack of medical care for those who are truly at risk, rather than the color of the doctor providing the medical care, at the campus clinic.

(I honestly find it hard to believe that all the doctors at a college clinic are white. I suspect there’s a fair mix of Indian, Middle Eastern, and Latino caregivers. All you have to do is open a phone book to the M.D. section and you’ll see a demographic that is anything but white only. So I call bullshit on the Occidental students claiming they need doctors of color. Which by the way is about as racist as me complaining about how tough it is to find a white male doctor.)

You’d be asking questions and making suggestions instead of demands.

If you were demanding anything, it should be answers about why drug companies feel justified cranking the cost of some drugs up by1500% and why those same drugs are sold in other countries for pennies. Why the cost of medical insurance keeps going up and why the cost of medical care is spiraling out of control.

You’d be demanding answers about corruption in our government and corporations and how the collusion between the two entities serves to widen the economic divide between the various people in this country instead of bridging it.

You’d be asking why American education is so poor and why so many of you can’t write or do math. You’d be seeking to make sure that 5 years from today damn few students entering college required remedial reading, writing, or math classes.

You should be finding ways to make more with less instead of bitching about how wasteful people were in the past.

Bitching about the stupidity of the past is like blaming a two year old for using crayolas on the wall of the nursery. Folks in the past were wasteful because they didn’t know what we know now.

Bitching about their ignorance in ALL things serves no purpose. You’re all here NOW, make the best of what you’ve got and incorporate what we know now into your actions. Don’t forget… In 200 years students sitting on some campus will be shaking their heads at YOUR ignorance.

Woodhouse

You spoiled little brats should be studying very hard to find solutions to the situations that lead to the injustices you’re bitching about instead of blatantly inflicting the same harm on others.

No matter how richly their ANCESTORS may have deserved retribution, punishing descendants of an formerly oppressive group does absolutely nothing except breed resentment and / or hatred, and then the cycle repeats.

I realize all these concepts may have caused your little minds to be triggered out of your safe spaces. Some of you may be choking on the froth of indignation, and perhaps a few of you have suffered irreversible brain damage caused by attempting to actually think. 

So for all of you…

I’ll fetch a rug.


(For those of you unfamiliar with the TV show Archer, Woodhouse often fetches rugs to aid in the disposal of bodies and sometimes simply the disposal of drugged or passed out hookers.)

Car Service…

We all hate it.

We all think it’s expensive.

Usually we suffer in silence.

So with that in mind, I’d like to thank a friend of mine for the pep talk in telling me what he paid for a single tire on his current car and what he paid generally for frequent service on his Lexus.

Turns out that not only have I gotten a lot more life out of my brakes than the BMW folks expected, (I love it when the service writer is stunned.) I’ve also consistently gotten much better brake and tire life than my friend with the Lexus.

So I don’t feel like my nose is quite so bloodied. 

108K miles on my original brakes isn’t too shabby. Of course you only wear your brakes out if you use them! Does that tell you anything about my driving style?

BMW i8

There’s an i8 here at the dealership.  It’s very handsome and I must admit I’d love to have one. However the car costs more than my house is worth.  The one here at the dealership is even in a color I’d like humm…

I think I’ll have to wait a few years… and get a job… and sell a LOT more books, perhaps some blood, a kidney and a lot of semen.

TMI????

It comes down to how much you want something!

I consider myself a thoroughbred I’ve got good genetics, great teeth, good health, a great head of hair, and a highly adaptable biology… I should be able to sell semen for at least a grand a shot don’t ya think? 

Yeah, yeah, I know… probably couldn’t get .99!  I’ve always thought highly of myself, so sue me!

I really like the 4 series. They’ve got a couple of very nice M4s here and I could be very, very, tempted by one of those. 

It looks like as I suspected, the brakes were at end of life. It’s one of those situations where they could just do the fronts then I’d wait for the rears to do them later. But if you’re in for a penny you might as well be in for a pound. 

I’ve always been in favor of doing the service and being good to go with the expensive stuff for another xx K miles. I was thinking about it and It occurred to me that I haven’t seen the inside of a dealership for at least a year so I’m really not going to complain too much.

Since my life is kinda in a state of flux, it makes sense to have a vehicle in a known good state because I have no idea what I’m going to have to do or when. But whatever happens I’m probably not going to have a whole lot of time off to deal with car issues.

Thank GOD I don’t have kids in College

Universityofmissouri

In addition to worrying about their safety, I’d be losing my mind wondering what the hell they were being taught.

I can only imagine how frustrating it would be for me as a parent to not know if my 60 to 80K per year was being spent actually teaching my child something useful in STEM, or “Real Journalism” (as opposed to the yellow journalism we’re accustomed to), or Law.  

I know I’d be PISSED OFF to find that instead of sitting in classes that were on topic or studying their ass off in the library my kid was wasting my money marching with a radicalized inarticulate element preaching nothing but victimhood.

I’d be heartbroken knowing that due to the color of my kid’s skin the members of “The Cause” are guaranteed to turn on my child no matter how supportive of “The Cause” my kid was.  Sooner or later my kid would be cast aside because they no longer served a purpose or no longer met the racial guilt test.

claremontmckenna

Worse would be learning that my kid was being intimidated into participating in protests because otherwise they’d be shunned or punished as the New York Post is reporting.

I’d pray that my child was strong enough to call me saying, “Dad I need to come home, I’m dropping out of college until I can get accepted somewhere education is at the top of the agenda.”

Actually, if my kid called me with that message, I’d be so damn proud I’d be on the next flight to wherever they were, and my rental car would be a freaking U-Haul. We’d turn the move home into an adventure which in itself is always a learning experience.

Columbia

I suspect that a lot of parents are thinking about this stuff right now.

It begs the question, How long will universities last if the paying customers stop paying? What happens when parents tell their kids “Go to the local community college.”  

If I had a kid in Yale, or Columbia, or The University of Missouri I’d take them aside during the Thanksgiving holiday and tell them to come home.

We’d find another college, even if that meant a completely on-line solution or sending them to Europe for their education.

The decision wouldn’t be about racism, it would be completely about the quality of education. The bang for the buck spent, and the appearance that these colleges have lost their direction and with it, their prestige.

Yale

What good is a Columbia, Yale, Claremont or Mizzou degree now? Don’t these degrees fairly shout to business, “Hiring this person will lead to strife and overblown accusations of inequality,” can a business take that kind of risk when they’d be better served hiring an equivalent graduate from Azuza Pacific, The University of Texas, SNHU, or University of Phoenix?

The alumni associations must be pissed off beyond belief.

What must Yale Grads be thinking? I know one, and I owe him a phone call. I’ll have to remember to ask.

You know, American Business has been saying for years that they can’t find qualified American graduates for positions here in the US.

Up to now, I’d dismissed these claims as nothing more than an excuse to hire H1B1 employees in a traitorous attempt to pump up the bottom line at the expense of our country, our workers, and essentially creating a new “slave” class.

In light of recent events, maybe American business has a point. Maybe our colleges and universities aren’t turning out graduates capable of doing the jobs. If that’s the case, then sending your kid to Europe for college is about the only option if you want them to have a shot at getting a job here.

It’s damn scary to think that our country may have fallen that far into the shitter. Have we become a delusional country believing we’re the best, when in fact the sun is rapidly setting on us? Are we doing nothing more than rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic?

If so, what happens now?

3AM

Also known as, “The Soul’s Midnight” 

It’s that time of night (morning) that can either be a whole lot of fun if you’re fucking around with someone or a group of someones, and a good time is being had by all or when you’re heading home from somewhere you shouldn’t have been. (To paraphrase Garth Brooks)

Luckily in my life I’ve had both of those situations. I’ve been toying with a book of rules to observe if you’re involved with the latter.  


Not my Brand

Helpful hint: Shower, YES! Make sure you bring your own brand of soap and don’t scrub your pits. You can scrub the skank off your nether regions and body leaving them fresh as a daisy, don’t bother with your hair or pits because after a hard day at work you aren’t supposed to smell like you just stepped out of a shower.

On the other hand you don’t want the smell of someone else’s perfume on you when you snuggle into bed with your spouse. This method splits the difference leaving you smelling just about like you should.

If you forget, and scrub all over, all is not lost. Have a nice long J/O session in your car, after you get off, relax a few minutes and let your natural smell develop. Just don’t get caught by the local cops looking for perverts.

If on the other hand you’ve forgotten your normal brand of soap… Brother, You’re on your own and may God have mercy on your soul.


Angel of Death

The Urban dictionary defines Soul’s Midnight a bit differently than I do.

Soul’s Midnight

3AM; more specifically when clubs close and everyone eating at 24-hour diners should vacate lest they be subjected to the deluge of belligerent glitter-covered drunkards and party girls exiting said clubs.
If it’s 2:58, you’re fine. If it’s 2:59, start running. You don’t want to be in the Denny’s parking lot for Soul’s Midnight.

My primary definition has an older, darker, meaning. This was the time of night when hospital staff noticed more people died.

There are other possibilities for why you might be up at this hour.

afterparty

You could be a bartender coming home from a your shift.  <— Count your money AFTER you’ve gotten home.

You could be awakened by a dog who needs to go out <— Not so bad, way better than waking up to a mess.

You could wake up from a nightmare and decide after tossing & turning from the adrenaline hit that you might as well just get up. Not so much from the adrenaline but because your brain rebooted in the full ON position and you’re unable to stop thinking about the shit that has you worried.

Sadly, it’s a combination of 2 and 3 on tonite’s agenda.

NPH

I’d woken up from a slight nightmare, and I think because a music playlist finished. I was just settling back to sleep when I realized the dog was at the side of the bed looking at me.

Okay pup, let me get something on; Dog has gone down the hall at a good clip; OR NOT. I haul my carcass out of bed, my naughty bits pulling up tight from the cold.

“Damn! what the hell is the temp in this place, 50 below?”

I open the door, the dog trots down the stairs into the backyard.  I wait for a minute or two but when the dog is heard ralphing I figure he’s going to be a while.

I close the door, I’m officially awake! 

I crank the thermostat to warm the house to something slightly warmer than the surface temperature of Pluto.

After trying the usual distractions, Here I sit.

I DONT NORMALLY WATCH PORN BUT WHEN I DO I DO IT LIVE

On the plus side I rediscovered a 3 hour long porn I’d forgotten about. I guess I should wander through the porn collection more often. This film has some fun scenes, and I think I’m going to dig out the DVD and re-rip it so that the scene markers are preserved. As it is now, all you can do with the file is fast forward. It might be nice to be able to use the “Next” scene function.

I like switching on porn at this hour because there’s nothing more celebratory of life, than ropey jets of cum shooting across a room. (paraphrasing that line, with thanks to Henry Rollins.) 

I popped out to some “On-line” hangouts some acquaintances are on late at night. No-one was up, or if they were they were, they were in private chats or fooling around in real life instead. So much for the live show and conversation.

I’d fire off the re-ripping of the DVD right now but I’d wake the rest of the household trying to find the thing, then I’d be listening for the drive to spin down signaling that the machine was finished.

I’m a little OCD about that kind of thing. I guess that the fear of the computer actually cooking while “cooking” on the task I set it keeps me cat napping instead of sleeping.

Nah, I’ll start that process tomorrow. 

So what to do now?

SteamingPileoPoo

Work at making ropey jets of cum??  I know as soon as I get into it, there will be a scratch at the door. Speaking of which, the dog should have been back by now. Ahh and of course the other dog wants out. 

Okay.

Oh Thanks #2 dog! Leaving poo neatly centered in the dirt right off the back stair, while qualifying as doing your business in the yard, means that I have to do Poo patrol before #1 dog comes back in and steps in it.  #1 doesn’t see very well at night anymore.

Not my preferred method of spending the hour between 3am and 4am but at least now I am looking forward to getting back into my nice warm bed and falling asleep.

Finish poo patrol. Turn off the lights. Lock the door. Head for bedroom.

#1 & #2 dogs are on their cushions asleep already. They’re snoring and as I step over them to get to my bed, they both give me the “Oh, you’re still up?” look.

Ya know Dogs…

Sometimes you guys are real jackasses!

I see a treat shortage in your immediate future.