Month: August 2024

I know, there’s a lot of really important stuff to be worried, or complain about.

This one has been growing to the point that I’m not sure if it’s just me being overly sensitive or if this is a real problem that all of us face and should be resolved.

Packaging! 

Everything we get is packaged in something. From the atomic bomb resistant packaging of a set of batteries, to the chicken pot pie we’ve got in our freezers. (It’s comfort food! So sue me!)

Everything is sealed and puncture resistant. But a fair amount of these items have “Easy open” strips or perforations that are supposed to allow us to tear along the perforation and gain access to the product inside. Hopefully this happens without requiring a thermal lance burning at 10,000° F.

But lately, none of the “Easy Open” features work properly. Resealable packages with the helpful “Tear Here” strips often don’t open, or when using the “Tear Here” strip, the resealable bit is damaged beyond usability. (This is why you’ll find frozen chicken strips, in their original bag prominently declaring the package resealable, inside a Ziplock Bag in my freezer.) 

Even the perforated pull strip on the butter doesn’t work anymore. It’s gotten to the point that I don’t even try. I’ll tear the end of the carton of butter completely off rather than frustrating myself with tearing a strip off.

Oh, I’d like to be able to pull the little strip, expose the little tongue & groove closure, and be able to use it to keep the butter closed and neat looking in the fridge.

However is shouldn’t take me 3 minutes of tearing the strip off, cleaning up the failure of the strip to open the package, working a knife into the carton flaps to neatly open the package, then still being unable to access the butter inside, from which I’ll have to peal wax paper too.

These days, my butter package looks like it was mauled by a bear.

Aluminum Foil and plastic wraps seem to be experiencing similar packaging troubles.

Microwave popcorn bags used to be easily opened by grabbing opposing corners and pulling. That method works about 65% of the time today. The remaining 35% of the time, popcorn gets blasted all over the kitchen.

I can do without microwave popcorn and have done for a while now.

Don’t get me started on the “Coin” style batteries. Opening the outer and inner packaging requires the sharpest set of scissors in the house followed by a blowtorch to get through the inner packaging, topped off by a sharp blade to scrape the protective plastic coating from the positive side of the battery prior to installation.

God help you if the batteries in question powered a pacemaker or something ‘cause you’d be dead on the kitchen floor!

It is for this reason that I never bring more than one coin type battery device online per day. If I had to change five “2016 type” batteries in a single day I’d probably end up stabbing myself multiple times, out of sheer frustration.

I have to say the Bubba Angus burgers cardboard zip strip does work as designed.

The thing is, all of these packaging methods used to work properly.

It’s getting harder to rip open the top of a bag of chips without having it explode all over the kitchen. 

That used to be a simple thing. Grab both sides of the bag, pull in opposite directions and the bag would open along the thermal seal.

Not anymore! Somehow the thermal seal is stronger than the surrounding mylar reinforced bag and I’ve found that instead of applying 100,000 Newtons of force (22,480 Pounds), it’s just easier and neater to use a set of kitchen shears.

Back to the pot pie. It has been literally 9 years since I’ve had a Marie Calendar’s pot pie open along the perforations. You’ve got to take the top of the carton off of one of these no matter how you’re heating it up.

There are very convenient tabs on either side of the carton that say “push here”. These usually pop as expected provided the cheap cardboard carton doesn’t collapse before the perforation gives way. The real challenge is after the tabs.

This is the long angled perforation on either side of the carton that never tears properly. It’s so near the edge of the carton that you can’t really use a knife to open it because the carton will most assuredly crush, leaving you with the need to reheat the potpie on a plate if in the microwave or on a cookie sheet if you’re using an oven.

The way these cartons are manufactured is obviously about them being only slightly more rigid than tissue paper. Hey, Marie Calendar’s why not simply wrap the potpie in nuclear capable plastic overwrap and forego the carton entirely? Why continue to frustrate people with a shitty carton that doesn’t work as designed?

Better yet, since we know that 99% of all this packaging is about preventing certain elements in society from spoiling or stealing the contents. How about we go back to the old packaging that wasn’t frustrating and simply shoot anyone caught screwing around with packaged goods?

“Cleanup on aisle 8, this one’s a bleeder bring two mops!“

We seem to be comfortable with suggesting or doing heinous things “For the Greater Good” these days. Removing the shittier parts of society would definitely be for the Greater Good wouldn’t it?

I’m in favor of the Chihuahua breed to be banned, and fed directly into a wood chipper.

Give me a Pit bull versus a Chihuahua any day. At least a Pit bull doesn’t wag its tail like it’s all friendly then start snapping.

Every freaking encounter I’ve had with a Chihuahua from boyhood to literally today. They wag their tail and act all friendly then when you, or in today’s case Jesse was close enough to bite they started snapping. 

Two of these little fucking dogs would not let Jesse and I pass on the road, during our walk today.

I was going to try to pass through them but they started snapping at Jesse’s feet and my ankles. I really did think about just fucking stomping them & kicking their carcasses into the wash. 

Chihuahuas are the only dog that has consistently bitten me throughout my whole damn life.

The only other dog bite I’ve ever had was from a half blind German Shepard who bit me coming over the fence into his yard. Poor guy probably just saw a dark blur and thought I was a threat. He didn’t even break the skin, a little bruising but no punctures. Afterwards though, we ended up being great friends. I think he really felt bad about it when he figured out I was a young human.

Much as I try to stay away from Chihuahuas and honestly their owners, (who more often than not are irresponsible pet owners anyway,) the little fuckers always seem to get a piece of me.

It wouldn’t be a problem if I could treat them like the annoying nuisances they are, and kill them like biting flies or mosquitoes. But there are all kinds of animal cruelty laws and I’m sure that I’d be the bad guy for popping a Chihuahuas head under my boot.

For years, I’ve thought the breed was probably okay, it was the owners that didn’t train them properly. Now I’m not so sure. They’re overly aggressive always. They’re loud, irritating, territorial beyond all boundaries for their size, and just fucking annoying.

One of the little fuckers bit Jesse today. Fortunately it didn’t have the strength in its jaws to draw blood. Jesse wasn’t amused in the least and once he realized these things were not wagging their tails in friendship he was very confused. Fortunately, he’s got really quick reflexes so after the first bite these two pieces of shit never touched him again.

For a moment or two I really weighed the risk/reward of letting him off leash. I don’t know if he would have simply led them down into the wash and left them trapped there for another predator, or killed them. I also considered trying to get them to follow Jesse and I across the bridge into the construction zone near the main road, or better yet into the wilderness area that Jesse has, of late, not wanted to enter.

His reluctance is probably due to a predator or predators. But two tasty morsels offered up might buy Jesse and I safe passage until next spring.

In the end we managed to back up to a point that they lost interest. They were 1/2 mile from where they live when they finally decided to leave us alone so that I could check Jesse to see if he’d been hurt.

Even then, 1/2 mile is a long way for such a small dog whose owners I’ve seen around. One owner is fat as a house and the other is on a walker even though she’s not that old, just obese. It’s not likely they’d come looking or would be able to come looking. But these days you never know who might be pointing an unwelcome camera at you for TikTok likes or some shit.

It was that last bit that prevented me from taking action.

I honestly think that Chihuahuas are dangerous. The danger is that people look at them as “Cute, silly little dogs that can’t do much damage.” They shouldn’t be allowed to do ANY damage, but since it’s minimal, people look the other way. A Chihuahua is unlikely to kill a human unless the human is an infant or toddler and the Chihuahua was part of a pack of Chihuahuas. 

That doesn’t mitigate the harm them biting someone, or another dog, causes. Had Jesse been injured I’d have been the one paying the Vet bill. Again, irresponsible owners.

Regardless of their size, they’re still dogs. In fact they were hunting dogs for, I think, the Aztecs? I forget what they hunted but it was something that lived underground and Chihuahuas could chase it from its burrow.

I guess part of the reason I hate the Chihuahuas so much is that even if they’re attacking you, you’re the one that looks like a cruel person if you hurt one. They’re duplicitous start to finish. They’ll appear friendly then turn on you, they’re small so kicking one or killing one make you the bad guy. Worst of all, they’re always loud, yappy, and poorly trained. I have yet to see a Chihuahua obey the commands of its owner.