From here on out, all my clothing will be gray

It occurred to me as I was sorting my laundry that by separating the white clothing from the colored clothing I was engaging in systemic institutionalized racism.

Even the laundry detergent instructions engage in this kind of oppression.

I think too that all of my clothing should be uniform, a simple set of pants held up with a rope. After all, leather belts are not green, not PETA approved, and might be used to strap poor immigrants. Although I suppose a rope might be construed as another symbol of racism, given how ropes were used in the past.

I know, to avoid this, I’ll use a string or bit of twine.

My shirt will be a gray tunic not requiring any buttons. Plastics being bad and all. I guess I could carve buttons if I really needed them.

Since leather is murder and its production requires cows whose flatulence contribute to the destruction of the planet I’ll strap the bark of trees to my feet, or perhaps I’ll use some of the piles of used tires in dumps, cut to fit my feet, instead of shoes.

I can pad my footwear with 20 or 30 discarded masks that are prevalent in the streets, on trails, and in the forest these days. Since rope is a no-no perhaps I can use some bits of twine to affix my retreads to my feet as well. I’ll bet I could carve a Nike swoosh on the bottoms and retain stylishness.

The nasty chemicals required to make clothing dyes hurt the planet too, so by going gray I can stop climate change.

This ensemble will make getting dressed in the morning so much faster. I won’t have to pause to decide what I’d like to wear anymore. If there’s no choice then there’s no time wasted deciding.

Laundry will also be much simpler, with no sorting of clothing, everything can just be carried to the creek behind my dwelling and I can hope for some trickle of water to be running. There are plenty of nice flat rocks to beat my clothing on and then I can hang the clothing on some friendly trees until they’re dry.

There will be times in the winter when the creek is frozen, and times in the summer when the creek bed is dry, so obviously I won’t even have to wash clothing then. I can just rub some of the gray dirt surrounding my dwelling on any offensive stains and I’ll look fresh as a daisy.

I do hope no-one will be offended by my naked bathing in the creek (water dependent of course) Or when I’m lying out on a large flat rock allowing the sun to dry my skin.

I’d never thought that being “woke” could be so simple. Or that my life would be enriched by total convenience and simplicity just by going woke. This is going to be bliss.

I seem to recall China instituted a nice homogenous dress code and their people were very happy about it. I’m sure we’ll be just as happily un-racist in our future. Oh, there is the slight problem of our dwellings. Well, I’m sure that our government will provide us all with a nice uniform gray, EPA approved paint for the purposes of ensuring community equity and consistency.

Maybe they’ll distribute approved paint with our mandatory physicals just before we pay our mandatory tithes while swearing and/or demonstrating our loyalty to our masters.

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Yeah, I woke up in a mood today! I don’t know why, perhaps I was having bad dreams or something.