Day: February 18, 2020

The last of the dogs is OLD, I mean really old.

He’s had by my count 2 big seizures and with each one he gets weaker.

On the plus side, he’s had a good life, at least since he came to live with us.

We think he was abused and for our part we’ve been able to give him a loving peaceful home.

Here he’s been spoiled, cuddled, loved, even though he’s stubborn as hell, and now he’s nearing the end of his life.

It’s sad but part of nature. 

This guy came from a household that didn’t pay him any attention, and possibly may have abused him. 

In this household he learned to play and that toys were for him. He learned that people loved, and wanted him, and that he didn’t need to be afraid, even when he messed up.

He learned that printers can be barked at when they start making printer noises and spitting paper at him. He learned that his people would laugh at his antics and tell him he was a good boy.

After many years in this household he’s nearing the end of his life.

He’s gone blind, and over the past month or so, has lost a lot of weight. 

He’s learned that when he needs to go outside, his people will carry him up or down the evil stairs setting him gently on his favorite patch of the yard, or on the top deck where he can go inside under his own power. He’s learned that we’ll still tell him he’s a good boy and give him treats.

Up until the past few weeks or so he’s been his usual happy self, but now he’s sleeping a lot and not particularly interested in much. 

Sound like a Grandpa you know?

I’ve been looking for a job using my laptop in the living room so I can be near him when he wakes up.

He gets upset if he wakes up alone. I think he wakes up not knowing exactly where he is.

All I have to do is speak to him, reassure him that all is well, he’s safe, and someone is guarding him. Typically, he’ll breathe a sigh of contentment get a drink of water, and go back to sleep

He’s snoozing now, chasing bunnies in his sleep. That’s a good thing, at least in his dreams he has a chance of catching them. He was never fast enough to catch them in his youth, but he loved chasing after bunnies and squirrels.

I’m melancholy about his ending and can only comfort him. Well, that and share a bit of my breakfast bagel with him, which he highly approves of.

It’s tough letting go of someone you love. I’ve always thought of my dogs as people not lesser beings. Generally they’ve picked me to be their human, not the other way around. 

It’s been a honor to have been their person. Even in the heartbreak of losing them I’ve been happy to have had them in my life.

I’ve decided that there will be another dog or two in my life. I’ve also decided that I’m going to get rid of used rugs, (placed on the floor to keep the elderly dogs from slipping on the hardwood,) the well used dog beds, and many of the toys. That will give the new dog(s) a fresh start in their new home, a place which they can make their own.

Oh, it won’t be for months at least. I’m not going to be ready to open my heart again until it’s healed from losing Red.

A friend of mine says that your dogs that have passed will send you a new dog who needs you as much as you need them.

I hope he’s right.