Is this all there is?

I guess most people find themselves asking that question from time to time.

I’ve been asking it a lot lately. I suppose I’m luckier than some in that I’ve got a job and a home. But what I’m doing is so unfulfilling that perhaps I’m asking that question a little bit more than usual these days.

The unspoken part of the question is, “What would your prefer, if not what you have?”

That’s the really had part of the question.

What would I like to do in place of what I’m doing? The obvious answer, is being wealthy and not having to work.

Back here on Planet Earth…

We need to work, honestly we need something to keep us busy.

I get that, but shouldn’t something we spend so much time doing at least make us feel good about having done the job?

That’s the problem I’m having. The job I’m in is menial at best. There’s little thought that needs to go into it anymore. The issues can be categorized into really one of 6 or 7 common problems. Everyone describes their problem in the most obtuse manner and at first listen, it sounds very complicated. After you cut away all the bullshit the problems people contact us about always fall into the same 6 or 7 categories.

Hence the problem. Boredom

On a larger scale, beyond just the job I’m not doing a lot of the things that I used to do. Part of that is income related, part of it is friendship related, and part of it is simply that I’m tired.

I had expectations that at this point in my life I’d be winding down and charting my course for retirement.

Whoops!

Guess that plan is shot to hell.

I thought that even if I was heading to retirement I’d at least be doing something that I generally liked doing and if I put off the retirement date a couple of years I’d still be happy doing the job.

What I couldn’t see was the extended unemployment, and finally landing a job at a truly awful place that bores the crap out of me.

Try as I might, finding another job has gotten much harder. I’m wondering if it is due to my age, or if it’s just that California is played out.

Could be a bit of both… or Neither. I don’t have an endless network of friends to bounce those kinds of ideas off of.

What I do know is that it’s getting harder and harder for me to get up, get dressed, and come into this shitty place every morning.

Of course the fear is that “THIS” kind of mind numbing boredom is all there is. God, if that’s true… take me now.