Month: December 2015

I’ve been seeing more and more little notices on web pages telling me that I use an Ad blocker.

Often these sites will try to shame me, pointing out that they are supported by Ads.

Lately the tenor of some advertisers has been more like the bitchiness of an ex girlfriend complaining that I’m not buying her a drink when we run into each other at a bar.

Let me explain, breaking up with you wasn’t all that hard to do.

While you’re telling everyone in earshot, my dick is too small, or I make funny noises when I cum.

You should probably know honey, all my friends and their friends, know your hole ain’t quite as golden as you think it is.

A little advice… Ya might consider some Kegels, and some soap & water occasionally.

Sometimes a site is a bit more direct, simply asking me to support them with a donation. This approach is a lot more honest and typically causes me to consider, “How often do I actually go to this site?” If I go to a site less than once a month, I dismiss the notice, if I’m on the site often, I’ll think about donating.

Ad Blockers have become a necessity, like virus protection.  Since I don’t buy a newer, faster computer every year I’m susceptible to ad inundation.

The condition that occurs when you can’t get your task done because you’re unable to dismiss ads fast enough. I call it ad rape, or ad fucking, or ad pounding.

My little netbook for example doesn’t have the horsepower to handle the barrage of messages telling me I don’t have Flash installed, all the popups for health aids, creams unguents, and God only knows what else. The CPU pegs at 100%, memory utilization shoots through the roof and then the browser folds.

I’ve wondered about people whose only access is with an older computer or a netbook or Chromebook. Does ad pounding place them at a societal disadvantage?

What about the poor? They can’t afford the latest $2000.00 computer and their internet may be provided via cell phone or public access at a McDonalds, doesn’t ad pounding increase the unfair disadvantage the poor are already laboring under?

Have I been reading too much SJW propaganda?

My tablet has the same problem but not to the same extent. I commonly see the message, “Due to a problem, this page is being reloaded.”

Usually I’ll see this message after the page blanks while I’m reading an article.

I’m sure it’s some POS Ad that’s trying to commandeer all the system resources to show me something really important about unknown Insurance loopholes.

Brietbart.com is among the worst offenders. The New York Times, and LA Times are right up there too.

So I use an Ad blocker.

It helps, but doesn’t completely alleviate the problem.

Because I don’t run Flash, I see a fair number of messages telling me I don’t have Flash loaded and that I should have it loaded so that I have a better browsing experience.

Yeah, right, that “better” browsing experience is someone at the web site deciding to download, then play a video on my machine without my permission at a volume only slightly lower than the flight deck of a carrier during a scramble of fighter jets.

“DO YOU WANT BETTER SEX? THEN LISTEN TO THIS IMPORTANT MESSAGE”

Speaker blown, computer screen cracks and then the ad says for only $29.95 they’ll tell me the secrets to having a bigger dick and more fulfilling sex life. RIIIIGGGHHHHT!

The secret to having a more fulfilling sex life, is having more sex.

Being unafraid, unashamed, and open to the variety of experiences that we are presented with daily goes a long way towards having a better life in general and definitely a better sex life. Bend your partner over the arm of the chair, put on a cowboy hat and yell “High Ho Silver!” Okay, so that’s not for everyone… Try new things is all I’m saying.

There, I just saved you $29.95. You can send donations of $9.95 to me.

Yes, for a limited time you only pay 1/3 for the secret to a happier life. But act now, this is a limited time offer.

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The question that the web sites and advertisers should be asking themselves isn’t, “How do we get around Ad blockers.” They should be asking, “WHY so many people are using Ad Blockers?”

They should be asking why ads have become such rich fodder for episodes of South Park.

The answer is simple. Ads have become abusive. They’ve gone from being something we’d notice in the margin, to offending and annoying us all, by blocking the content we wanted to see and demanding that we figure out how the fuck to close them.

We go to an article, or a site to look at something specific. Not necessarily to see which celebrity had botoxed themselves to the level of a mummy in the Cairo museum.

I don’t even try to close full screen pop-up ads anymore. I close the page. If the article, goods, or services, has to display a full page pop up ad covering their shit, then they can’t be very good articles, goods or services.

So Advertisers, instead of getting all bitchy because most of us are using ad blockers, how about you check your abusiveness and stop sounding like whiney little pussies.

That advice is my Christmas present to the advertising industry.