The Great Digital Hiring Wall

I discovered that I’m not alone. I stumbled across some other men who, like me have been applying for jobs for varying periods of time.

The youngest man is a mechanic with a couple years experience under his belt. The oldest man is a computer professional a few years older than me who has a much better pedigree than I.

We’re all encountering the same problem.

SPSW

Please go to our website and click on ‘Jobs’ then submit your resume.

The problem is we’ve been doing that. Myself for the past 4 years. The other computer professional has been active for the same amount of time.  The young mechanic (who is smarter than me) says he doesn’t even bother with the companies that do that.  His logic is simple. If he’s wanting to work at a car dealership odds are that a hiring manager is easy to find. 

Typically the person is called a Service Manager and it’s easier to put a nicely printed resume in the Service Manager’s hands rather than have his information in a database that no-one ever looks at.

TrashedResume

By looking the Service Manager in the eye, the young mechanic is sizing up that person, and that person is sizing up the young mechanic.  In that few seconds, they either make a connection or they don’t. Their instincts kick in and they decide in a very preliminary way if they can work together or not. If they can, the service manager will stick the resume on his desk. If they can’t the resume is in the trash before the young man is out of the parking lot.

I’ve been desperately looking for a job. I don’t particularly care what that job is. I’ve applied at retail places.  With my resume and experience I should be able to work for Staples, T-Mobile, AT&T, Best Buy, Apple, or Fry’s.

Please go to our website and click on ‘Jobs’ then submit your resume.

Back in the day, I worked retail clothing. I can fold shirts and pants, I can stock shelves, I can run a cash register, I can unload trucks, I worked at a Toy’s R Us for a while. I know something about warehousing and loading / unloading trucks. I can drive a pallet jack, but not a fork lift. 

Please go to our website and click on ‘Jobs’ then submit your resume.

I need VERY little. $500 a week would be just PERFECT, as long as I didn’t have to drive 90 miles to and from work. I could make due with a minimum wage job and WOULD if I could move up in the company over time.

TechWorkers

My resume is technology heavy, I’ve spent the past 30 years in technology so of course it’s tech heavy. BUT like most men of my generation we actually want to work and I speak for all of us when I say if it comes to a choice between eating, or not. We’ll bust our asses to work and do the best job we know how to do.  Our previous careers are completely useless and our previous salaries are irrelevant if we’re simply trying to survive.

As a side note, If Staples or T-Mobile, Best Buy, or Apple etc… were to call me back I’d be overjoyed! I’m not holding my breath.

Please go to our website and click on ‘Jobs’ then submit your resume.

The first one of them that offered me good honest work would have me for at least a couple of years, no questions asked.

makemoneyordie

My plan, like my colleague’s is to get something that pays anything, then take a breath and go back to school or some certificate program or whatever and change careers. 

We’re fighting a bit of ageism, and we’re smart enough to know it. So logically it makes sense for us to change careers to something that works in a changing economic landscape.

Computers and IT aren’t what they once were. The pay in IT has been flat for at least a decade and we American workers are being displaced, by cheaper younger foreign born folks who want their piece of the American pie. 

Hell, the last interviews I’ve been to, there was not one single person that I interviewed with who didn’t come from someplace else. India, China, Philippines, you name it, but not one of those folks was born here, they may all have been citizens now but they immigrated recently. Come to think of it one interview was a panel of all women, and the other all men parading through various offices and conference rooms. In neither situation was there a single white face in evidence in the office spaces that I saw. 

I remember thinking, “If this is white male domination, I really need to find out if the definition of those terms has changed.”

I actually had hope. I thought naively that perhaps I’d be the one white male face to round out their diversity numbers.

My computer colleague laughed when I shared that with him.

No body ever counts the actual number of white males in a business or department unless the place is perceived as ‘too white’, then and only then is the number relevant. The presumption is that all corporations a full of white males, and diversity is a door that only has to swing one way.” 

I told him I thought that was a bit cynical.

TypicalCorporatethinking

I’ve been in management meetings where we had to hire a dude from the university of Mississippi with a 2.5 GPA over an MIT grad with a 3.8 GPA. You can guess what the driving force was in that hire. The worst part was that the whole department suffered because the 2.5 GPA couldn’t actually do the job, but the department’s performance numbers and bonuses were based on productivity and headcount. A previously very productive department that was award winning and always got bonuses was demoralized. If you want to think really cynically, it’s an excellent way to control costs and still have a bonus system. If no-one claims a bonus where does it go?  That’s right… to the bottom line.


My colleague and I share leads. We’ve proofed each other’s resumes and all the “I’s” are dotted and the “t’s” are crossed. We still end up spattered against The Great Digital Hiring Wall.

Please go to our website and click on ‘Jobs’ then submit your resume.

database

Interesting fact is that for both of us, the best leads, the leads that have actually gotten us to an interview were those where we sent physical paper, you know in an envelope with a real stamp…

Both of us start our days where the ads that we respond to first are the ones where we can find a physical address. Then we craft a cover letter and put as much information into that letter as we can to catch the eye of a hiring manager.

Then we descend into the Taleo crap or the corporate websites only if we have to.  If you get to a corporate website you can usually figure out their mailing address and just apply with a hard copy. Often that’s exactly what we do. We’ve wondered if we were called to some of these interviews because of the quaint notion of words printed on paper.

Hey look at the Luddites, lets interview them for fun…” 

We don’t care why they schedule interviews, only that we end up in front of the hiring manager.

interviewblurred

We’ve compared notes about some of the places we’ve interviewed too. There have been a few places where the “Vibe” was really bad. It was like a sense of desperation that was palpable. As it turns out we’d both interviewed at the same company for the same job. We were glad they kicked us out of the running. Something bad is going to happen at that company after the first of the year and when it does, we expect there to be a lot more openings.


In discussing The Great Digital Hiring Wall, we’ve wondered a couple of things.

1 What happens to the poor? If they can’t apply for a job on their cell phones doesn’t that mean that they’re unfairly excluded?

2 What happens when we become poor and can’t pay for our internet service anymore? I guess for a time we’ll be able to use Starbucks or Apple’s WiFi, or our Phone hotspots until the phone gets turned off.

3 Even homeless, we both could keep our tech powered up, even without gasoline. I’ve got an emergency kit with solar cells and a 110 inverter. That would do for a while.  He’s got a similar system, because both of us are planners and these systems are part of our earthquake kits. If we were to combine the systems we could probably power a lot more. 

HomelessJobless

After a point though you have to get to thinking, “Can I sell my computer for food?” Especially when The Great Digital Hiring Wall continues to be impenetrable. After all how many thousands of hours do you invest for NO return before you just give up?  97% of my applications or follow-up inquiries go un-answered beyond the automated “We got your application” email.

I’d imagine at some point in the not too distant future beyond selling your computer, you end up just another homeless person in LA with a shopping cart, a great story, and no teeth.  Another of the nameless, cast-offs from a relentless and unforgiving society. 

Janitor

At that point you’re a charity case that some do gooder corporation tosses 5K at to get into public housing, get cleaned up and then gets a job as a janitor with the corporation. 

The sad thing is that were it not for 

Please go to our website and click on ‘Jobs’ then submit your resume.

All that could be avoided.

There are times when you just know that the person you’re hiring is the “right” person. They may not have all the pedigree you specified, for that matter, they may not have a lot of pedigree, but they’re grateful, they’re appreciative, they’re loyal, honest, and they’re going to work their asses off to come up to snuff.  

HRChecking the Boxes

That’s not something a database search is going to tell you. That’s something only your gut can tell you.

SELECT WHERE SCHOOL IS ‘PRINCETON’, .AND. SORORITY IS ‘PHI GAMMA MU’, .AND. RACE IS ‘AFRICAN-AMERICAN’, .OR. ‘PAFICIC ISLANDER’, .OR. ‘HISPANIC’, OR ‘WHITE’, .AND. NAME IS LIKE ‘L%’,  FROM APPLICANTS

I don’t think this select statement is viable. It’s been a long while since I was writing select statements every day and I don’t have the inclination to install an SQL database on my computer just to find out how wrong this statement is. My point is that if you’re selecting people based on automation you can narrow the criteria so much that you miss a TON of other things, even if you’ve constructed a search with a long list of options.

Go to Google and type something very specific, eventually  you’ll get to the point that Google will tell you your search returned nothing, and then offer to expand the search for you.

mySQL

My SQL above if it worked would return every Female from Princeton and at the top of the list would be all African Americans whose name began with L.

So Laura, Lois, Latoya, LaRonda, LEclaire, etc. 

At the very bottom of the list would be white females. The racial aspect gets imposed because the search criteria starts with African Americans, and is further reinforced because so many African American people have names that start with “L” 

sorority

The reason that the sexism gets imposed is because the person running the query narrowed it to the sorority Phi Gamma Mu.  Because a sorority name and school was specified, every other viable person male or female, even those with better credentials would be excluded.

You can’t remove bias from a system. We’re all going to choose to help those people with whom we have a connection. That connection may be familial or of an extended family nature such as where you went to school.

Since the HR people are the folks running the selection, their biases will inevitably affect the resumes that they pass on to the hiring manager. 

This is the danger of databases being used to quantify the real world. Databases are supposed to hold records. mortgages, property maps, license plates, employee records, but they shouldn’t be used to search for employees.

Searching for a new employee should be done by reading the person’s resume, not calling the first 10 people spat out of a database search.

Please go to our website and click on ‘Jobs’ then submit your resume.

Resume

But it’s even worse than just that.

All your special formatting, all your bullet points, all the care you put into making your resume appear just so, to make the best possible impression. That’s all stripped out. For those of you that have paid hundreds of dollars to have your resume written and polished, and formatted into that snazzy eye-catching work of art…

Well, you wasted your money.

What Goes in is this…

Screen Shot 2015 11 23 at 12 45 24 PM

What Comes out is this…

Screen Shot 2015 11 23 at 12 46 03 PM

Sure, there are ways to print the actual capture of the document before it was sliced, diced, and quantified by a database input algorithm. But most of the time, if you look carefully at what the interviewer is working from, it’s your resume just in courier 10 with little or no line wrapping and it’s tough to read.

NOTE: Always have a proper copy on hand to give to the interviewers. I’ve run into situations where years of my experience were simply missing in the hiring managers copy. 

I’ve also had many interviewers thank me for providing a legible copy of my resume for them to work from. I didn’t get the job, but at least I presented myself professionally. After banging my head against The Great Digital Hiring Wall for as long as I have, I try very hard to take solace where I can.

sadlady

My colleague does the same. He’s actually showed the HR people at one company he interviewed with, how to print the resumes in their original format.  He didn’t get that job, probably because he threatened someone inadvertently.  

Think what it must be like for a college grad who’s been trained on this super secret, better than sliced bread, amazing, miracle of software; and this guy with no HR training or training on your miracle of HR software can walk in and make the system dance. Ooooppps! Threat Major!

My friend really didn’t care the place was a hole. When you’ve been searching as long as we have, you start to notice when companies are commonly advertising for specific roles. It means one of two things. Either the company is growing and that’s where you want to be… OR the place is a hole and they can’t keep people.

When you walk in for an interview, It’s obvious which one is true. If the place can’t keep people, then we’d still take the position if it was offered. But you have to take a position like that with a grain of salt.  Pragmatically speaking… their money spends just like anyone else’s. When you’re running as close to the abyss as we are… you’re not going to turn anything down. 

In the back of your mind you’re wondering what the problem is.

badcompanybadbosses

Oddly enough, in those situations older more experienced workers like myself and my colleague can really bring more to the table than someone right out of college. Folks like us are more likely to work to solve the problem than we are to get pissed off and stomp out the door. The really odd thing is that these companies are engaging in Einstein’s definition of insanity they’re going beck time and again to the HR databases, hiring people that don’t last then repeat the behavior expecting different results.

Unfortunately even these companies clearly in need of help, have bought into the HR database paradigm. Which means that folks who could actually help never get the chance.

Please go to our website and click on ‘Jobs’ then submit your resume.

 

Kill me, kill me now.

Shining

It would be a mercy.

I had a cold thing for a few days, then I started to get over it, I thought, “cool.”

I started to resume my normal activities, then Wham!

This thing came back like gangbusters, and now I’m beginning to think it would be more merciful to just beat me to death with a baseball bat.

(Note to self… If you survive, get a baseball bat! One of my favorite home defense tools! All my bats were lost in the fire of ’08.)

I’ve thought about heading to the gym and alternating between the dry and steam sauna. I just don’t have the energy to make the drive and I’m not even sure I have the focus to be on the road at all.

Sneeze

I need to deal with the Bullshit of “Open Enrollment” on the health insurance front. GOD! I miss the days when my policy was in force as long as I paid the damn premium. I miss not having to deal with figuring out how I’m being fucked differently this year as opposed to last year.  Only our government could fuck up a simple transaction.

I pay you… you keep the contract in force it’s a really simple arrangement. I don’t have to review my car insurance or my homeowners insurance and renegotiate the deal every year. I shouldn’t have to do it with health insurance, except that apparently because of phased implementation we all get the “Joy” of reviewing all the wonderful shit that folks like Nancy Peolsi couldn’t be bothered to read before their “Rubber Stamp” vote on the “Messiah’s” healthcare plan.

I don’t blame ‘ol stompy foot for the healthcare bullshit. I blame the assholes on both sides of the aisle in congress for not reading the plan, and if they did read it and disagreed, for not standing up to the “rubber stampers”.

Sauna

Then there’s the annoyance that I haven’t been getting emails or regular mail to pay the insurance bill in the first place I’m going to have to review all this bullshit online or over the phone as I try to straighten out what’s, what.  Feeling the way I do I don’t really have the patience to deal with it.

On the plus side, I haven’t seen or read much in the way of news lately. I got a heavy dose of CNN while I was at the car dealership.  France “On lockdown”, Belgium “On lockdown”, Colleges across America “Racist hotbeds making people feel bad”.  To hear the News, you’d think that Stormfront or Northwestfront were in control of our college campuses and that the SS was hauling persons of color off to the camps. 

I’m assuming that in the intervening 3 days nothing has changed.

I’m going back to bed, my temp reads as 102° F so that means it’s time to shut down, stay warm & hydrated and wait for it to pass.

I can’t think anymore…

OH Shut the hell up! Shut the hell up!

TankGirl

Whiney, Humorless, Self Important, spoiled little college students, I’m personally sick of your shit. 

I’m fairly sure the rest of the nation and the entire fucking planet is sick of your shit. If they’re not now, they soon will be.

You’re bullies, & you know it…

Pretty damn soon someone is going to push back against your childish whining and complaining. Personally, I can hardly wait. Be thankful it’s not going to be someone like Tank Girl

Before that happens and a bunch of innocent people get hurt, why don’t you take this moment to get your asses back into classes, (which some of us never had the money or opportunity to attend because we were living hand to mouth,) and let the rest of your fellow students get back to concentrating on getting what they can out of their education.

If college is so demeaning, dehumanizing, and racially charged that you can’t see anything except racist overtones — perhaps you should go home!  That way you can stop supporting the corporate, sexist, racist, patriarchal, system that is keeping you down.  

OH? You don’t want to do that? You want doctors of color? You want more diversity in the administration? You demand to be able to deprive someone of their hard earned career because of the color of their skin? You want inclusiveness WHILE you’re telling the white students that you’ve forced to march in your cause, to leave your safe spaces?

Well fuck you!

You whiney, weak willed, marginally educated, loads your mommas shoulda swallowed, need to realize nobody hands the rest of us anything!

We have to pay for it. We have to keep paying OR we’re out of the fucking street homeless and hungry while you little cum stains are bitching about dead people whose visage or name offends you because of something the said or did 100 years ago or their name is on the side of a building or a street name or whatever. And you do this from the safety of a warm dorm when other people from your own communities go to bed in the cold, in cardboard boxes, hungry and alone.

If you were the real social justice warriors that you’d like to paint yourself as you would be organizing protests about lack of services for the homeless, the poor, the mentally ill, hungry children in this country, and any of a long list of ills that happen every day.

You’d be baking cookies and dinners and you’d be delivering those meals to the hungry from the backs of your Priuses.

You’d be screaming bloody murder about lack of medical care for those who are truly at risk, rather than the color of the doctor providing the medical care, at the campus clinic.

(I honestly find it hard to believe that all the doctors at a college clinic are white. I suspect there’s a fair mix of Indian, Middle Eastern, and Latino caregivers. All you have to do is open a phone book to the M.D. section and you’ll see a demographic that is anything but white only. So I call bullshit on the Occidental students claiming they need doctors of color. Which by the way is about as racist as me complaining about how tough it is to find a white male doctor.)

You’d be asking questions and making suggestions instead of demands.

If you were demanding anything, it should be answers about why drug companies feel justified cranking the cost of some drugs up by1500% and why those same drugs are sold in other countries for pennies. Why the cost of medical insurance keeps going up and why the cost of medical care is spiraling out of control.

You’d be demanding answers about corruption in our government and corporations and how the collusion between the two entities serves to widen the economic divide between the various people in this country instead of bridging it.

You’d be asking why American education is so poor and why so many of you can’t write or do math. You’d be seeking to make sure that 5 years from today damn few students entering college required remedial reading, writing, or math classes.

You should be finding ways to make more with less instead of bitching about how wasteful people were in the past.

Bitching about the stupidity of the past is like blaming a two year old for using crayolas on the wall of the nursery. Folks in the past were wasteful because they didn’t know what we know now.

Bitching about their ignorance in ALL things serves no purpose. You’re all here NOW, make the best of what you’ve got and incorporate what we know now into your actions. Don’t forget… In 200 years students sitting on some campus will be shaking their heads at YOUR ignorance.

Woodhouse

You spoiled little brats should be studying very hard to find solutions to the situations that lead to the injustices you’re bitching about instead of blatantly inflicting the same harm on others.

No matter how richly their ANCESTORS may have deserved retribution, punishing descendants of an formerly oppressive group does absolutely nothing except breed resentment and / or hatred, and then the cycle repeats.

I realize all these concepts may have caused your little minds to be triggered out of your safe spaces. Some of you may be choking on the froth of indignation, and perhaps a few of you have suffered irreversible brain damage caused by attempting to actually think. 

So for all of you…

I’ll fetch a rug.


(For those of you unfamiliar with the TV show Archer, Woodhouse often fetches rugs to aid in the disposal of bodies and sometimes simply the disposal of drugged or passed out hookers.)

Car Service…

We all hate it.

We all think it’s expensive.

Usually we suffer in silence.

So with that in mind, I’d like to thank a friend of mine for the pep talk in telling me what he paid for a single tire on his current car and what he paid generally for frequent service on his Lexus.

Turns out that not only have I gotten a lot more life out of my brakes than the BMW folks expected, (I love it when the service writer is stunned.) I’ve also consistently gotten much better brake and tire life than my friend with the Lexus.

So I don’t feel like my nose is quite so bloodied. 

108K miles on my original brakes isn’t too shabby. Of course you only wear your brakes out if you use them! Does that tell you anything about my driving style?

BMW i8

There’s an i8 here at the dealership.  It’s very handsome and I must admit I’d love to have one. However the car costs more than my house is worth.  The one here at the dealership is even in a color I’d like humm…

I think I’ll have to wait a few years… and get a job… and sell a LOT more books, perhaps some blood, a kidney and a lot of semen.

TMI????

It comes down to how much you want something!

I consider myself a thoroughbred I’ve got good genetics, great teeth, good health, a great head of hair, and a highly adaptable biology… I should be able to sell semen for at least a grand a shot don’t ya think? 

Yeah, yeah, I know… probably couldn’t get .99!  I’ve always thought highly of myself, so sue me!

I really like the 4 series. They’ve got a couple of very nice M4s here and I could be very, very, tempted by one of those. 

It looks like as I suspected, the brakes were at end of life. It’s one of those situations where they could just do the fronts then I’d wait for the rears to do them later. But if you’re in for a penny you might as well be in for a pound. 

I’ve always been in favor of doing the service and being good to go with the expensive stuff for another xx K miles. I was thinking about it and It occurred to me that I haven’t seen the inside of a dealership for at least a year so I’m really not going to complain too much.

Since my life is kinda in a state of flux, it makes sense to have a vehicle in a known good state because I have no idea what I’m going to have to do or when. But whatever happens I’m probably not going to have a whole lot of time off to deal with car issues.

Thank GOD I don’t have kids in College

Universityofmissouri

In addition to worrying about their safety, I’d be losing my mind wondering what the hell they were being taught.

I can only imagine how frustrating it would be for me as a parent to not know if my 60 to 80K per year was being spent actually teaching my child something useful in STEM, or “Real Journalism” (as opposed to the yellow journalism we’re accustomed to), or Law.  

I know I’d be PISSED OFF to find that instead of sitting in classes that were on topic or studying their ass off in the library my kid was wasting my money marching with a radicalized inarticulate element preaching nothing but victimhood.

I’d be heartbroken knowing that due to the color of my kid’s skin the members of “The Cause” are guaranteed to turn on my child no matter how supportive of “The Cause” my kid was.  Sooner or later my kid would be cast aside because they no longer served a purpose or no longer met the racial guilt test.

claremontmckenna

Worse would be learning that my kid was being intimidated into participating in protests because otherwise they’d be shunned or punished as the New York Post is reporting.

I’d pray that my child was strong enough to call me saying, “Dad I need to come home, I’m dropping out of college until I can get accepted somewhere education is at the top of the agenda.”

Actually, if my kid called me with that message, I’d be so damn proud I’d be on the next flight to wherever they were, and my rental car would be a freaking U-Haul. We’d turn the move home into an adventure which in itself is always a learning experience.

Columbia

I suspect that a lot of parents are thinking about this stuff right now.

It begs the question, How long will universities last if the paying customers stop paying? What happens when parents tell their kids “Go to the local community college.”  

If I had a kid in Yale, or Columbia, or The University of Missouri I’d take them aside during the Thanksgiving holiday and tell them to come home.

We’d find another college, even if that meant a completely on-line solution or sending them to Europe for their education.

The decision wouldn’t be about racism, it would be completely about the quality of education. The bang for the buck spent, and the appearance that these colleges have lost their direction and with it, their prestige.

Yale

What good is a Columbia, Yale, Claremont or Mizzou degree now? Don’t these degrees fairly shout to business, “Hiring this person will lead to strife and overblown accusations of inequality,” can a business take that kind of risk when they’d be better served hiring an equivalent graduate from Azuza Pacific, The University of Texas, SNHU, or University of Phoenix?

The alumni associations must be pissed off beyond belief.

What must Yale Grads be thinking? I know one, and I owe him a phone call. I’ll have to remember to ask.

You know, American Business has been saying for years that they can’t find qualified American graduates for positions here in the US.

Up to now, I’d dismissed these claims as nothing more than an excuse to hire H1B1 employees in a traitorous attempt to pump up the bottom line at the expense of our country, our workers, and essentially creating a new “slave” class.

In light of recent events, maybe American business has a point. Maybe our colleges and universities aren’t turning out graduates capable of doing the jobs. If that’s the case, then sending your kid to Europe for college is about the only option if you want them to have a shot at getting a job here.

It’s damn scary to think that our country may have fallen that far into the shitter. Have we become a delusional country believing we’re the best, when in fact the sun is rapidly setting on us? Are we doing nothing more than rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic?

If so, what happens now?